The Dress That Ate The Internet
February 02, 2006
167 comments about A DAMN DRESS. Y'all are materialistic whores, is all.
No. I suppose we are just girls.
DRUUUUUUUUUUNK GRILS. WOOOOO.
Anyway, I kept the stupid dress. Mostly because of Laura, who was all, "YOU CAN AFFORD TO STAY HOME IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO AND I HAVE LEFT THIS COMMENT 24 TIMES BEFORE, BLAH BLAH BLAH."
Maybe I could. Maybe it would involve long-term sacrifices that we have decided are not right for our family. Maybhe I am bone-tired of talking about it, and wish people would understand that even though I've made my decision I still reserve the right to second-guess it and wonder what things would be like if I made a different decision, and that I AM A HUMAN BEING AND DEEPLY FLAWED AND ALSO COMPLICATED, SOMEONE WRITE A DAMN POP SONG ABOUT ME ALREADY.
Anyway. FUck you, annoying people.
Yes. Taht is the dress. Disappointing, no? Boobs are remarkably covered, yes?
Also kind of flat. Fucking breastfeeding.
I would like to point out that the little sweater thing was on sale, for 40% off.
The dress was not on sale, but clearly, I can wear it all spring and summer, a hundred times at least, which will bring my pay-per-wear cost down to like, three dollars.
Also, I look skinny in it when I am standing up and sober. So there! Nyah!
Now I must go to bed. I have to take Noah to the pediatrician in like, five hours. Oh my GOD.
that dress is TRES Fabulous. Here is MY dress I was talking about, pls ignore my ri-damn-diculous boobs... img.photobucket.com/albums/v171/reclinalounger/Red12050001.jpg
my bad--http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v171/reclinalounger/Red12050001.jpg
Ha! Hilarious drunk post.
Way to have a good ol' time.
It is a very nice dress. I am so excited that I'm (possibly) the second to comment. Yay, staying up late!
Love the dress!!! No wonder you kept it!!! You look fabulous!
I'm so writing a pop song about you.
The title?
Drunk Grils (just wanna have fun in their expensive dresses whilst flippin' people The Fingah)
What a beautiful dress! You look pretty in it! Sadly, I can't think of anything witty to say which is a shame because yay! Single digits!
Don't know about the boobs, but your stomach is flat as a board! What the heck, man? You're hawt.
Pretty!
That dress? that dress is worth the internet drama
You look young! vibrant! drunk!
Keep the stupid dress. Laura? for the love of god and all that is holy PLEASE go somewhere else. Just go away. Shoo. You're obnoxious and no one is going to see the pretty and nice you.
Great dress!
skinny in that Dress?? You'd look skinny in black and white horizontal stripes! No fair.
glad you *appear* to have had a GOOD time!
Pretty, pretty dress. Funny, funny post.
Lovely dress! Drunk 'Grils' are funny.
And please, for the love of beautiful shoes, ignore the holier-than-thou 'I know what's best for you and your family' uppitiness of some people's kids. They don't live your life and are therefore, clueless.
I love the dress and admire your decisions. Have fun in it!
You look lovely in that dress. At this point with all the interest in it you could probably auction it off and go buy two.
I wish I could find the best job to return to, after having been home. I feel like my brain cells are slowly expiring - with all the one-year-old and three- year-old chatter. We weighed the cost - me at work would cause us to break even with the extraordinary cost of child care in Alaska, the need for a new wardrobe, car etc. Teachers are paid well, but not that well. We sacrfice a lot and have gone deeper in debt. There is no easy answer.
Glad you had fun! Good Luck today, I have a feeling you're going to need it..
Great dress! The "come hither, big boy, and TAKE me" pose is also very seductive.
You will look even nicer with a light tan....
purty dress! totally worth whatever it cost, especially for the husband ogle-ness factor and the i-just-had-a-baby-and-look-how-skinny-i-am part.
I love the dress!
Darling! Just too darling!
LOVE. the. dress. Good for you. Drink up.
So working moms aren't allowed to lament about staying home? Pshaw... I've been doing it for 22 years.
Grudgematch - Amalah and Laura. I'd really want to put my bet on Amy but what if she's hiding behind the big plant 'cause she's scared?
You are SO not alone. I'm a working mom who bitches about working constantly too. Knowing that while I hate it, working is the right thing from my frucking family. It would bug the piss out of me if people left comments like that over and over.
LOVE THE DRESS! and so worth it.
HATE the Laura and she just jealous because she probably cant afford a dress like that under any circumstances.
...and by the way...the bangs still look faaaabulouuus!
My sister has a whole group of working moms at her office who get together and bitch. Except, I think they bitch about their kids, not working.
If you were uncomplicated (read: simple. like some people who comment. someone whose name starts with an L.) would anyone read this crazy blog?
Great dress. Perfect hair. The end.
PS - You can wear said dress to Noah's wedding. Just sayin.
I would never have told you to take that dress back.
There were just 157 comments re the dress so I felt a little shy.
and I am proud of your decision to go back to work, that's not an easy thing...
it's 8:17 and I thought I'd start my day with a little ass kissing.
Love the dress, and you look fabulous, even if you are drunk! Also, I have missed the drunk posts. You made my morning!
prriiiiiiiitty! I like the dress, and I like the pose even more... My husband just took a very similar picture of me the other night. So thoughtful of him.
I love the dress!
Screw those people.
LOVE. IT. Totally worth every penny.
Can I just say I LOVE the tipsy posts. Drink up girl!
Ooooooo... pretty dress.
And I? Personally second guess everything I do. I think its human nature.
This is the first time I comment, even though I read your blog religiously, and I just want to say one thing: Damn the holier-than-thou, stick-up-the-ass people who think they can tell everyone how to live! Just 'cause you're a mom, doesn't mean you stop being a woman who needs to feel good about herself every once in a while. There's nothing to feel weird about.
And BTW, you look pretty. Oh, the envy!
You look skinny in it lying down and drunk as well!
Ah HA! So if you wear the dress a hundred times, the cost per wear will be $3, mmm? *struggles to do simple math* So now, the SMRT ones know how much the dress was. I knew if you got drunk enough you would crack...
Ahhhhh...the pediatrician visit/work day with a hangover. Always LOADS of fun.
But the evenings that cause them are usually totally and completely worth it!
You rock. :)
I don't know what y'all are talking about, she totally looked like a hooker in that dress.
I KID!
The dress was really lovely and like I said, you could wear it spring/summer as well.
And let's see what else...oh enjoy taking your giantsizedbutohmygodhe'ssofreakingcuteyoumustpickhimup baby to the doctor.
Glad you had fun last night!
Yup, it's pretty. Wear in good health as the grandmas say.
Also, please ask Noah not to poop or pee on it.
Because the kid's gotta have some limits.
The dress is pretty and good for you for standing up for your right to have pretty things. Mainly I wanted to say good luck at the doctor. I hated my son's four month appointment because at two months the shots didn't bother him at all but at four months he screamed his ass off until we got the hell out of the doctor's office and into the car. He just had his six month though and he dealt with it much better. Seeing the evil nurse jab needles into your baby is no fun and being hung over will make it even less fun I suspect. We always go to babies r' us afterward and buy him something cause of the guilt. As for the poo, just wait until your babies new favorite food is sweet potatoes and orange poo shoots out at you. You will long for the days of sweet smelling breastmilk poo.
I don't like the dress maybe because you are laying down and I can't see how it fits but I don't like the print either. Okay ya'll can throw stones but it's just an opinion, it really doesn't matter as long as Jason liked it.
It's a great dress! Hope dinner was great & good luck at the doc.
OK, so I was browsing through your archives, just for fun, and realized that one year ago today, you told the Internet you were pregnant via the Wednesday Advice Smackdown.
Congratulations on a life-changing year.
Hey, I'm sorry, but why do you care what the we think? It's YOUR money, and YOUR happiness. Sorry, but if it makes you feel pretty and happy, then I say go for it. -- the girl who has a baby on the way and still likes to buy $300 shoes she can't wear anyway
Well I was really hoping we'd get like an actual picture of you bending over sexy like so we could all ogle your boobs too... BUT NO... you had to go lie down and cop an attitude with that middle finger of yours. PSSHHH!
Oh and just so you know... they have that same dress at Wal-Mart for like $20. I can't believe you didn't shop around... HA! I jest..
I like the dress too, although I hate you just a little because your stomach is so flat. It's a good kind of hate, though, I swear.
Pretty dress, very girlie! So now I have to ask...where'd you get it?
it's an awesome dress and I would totally have bought it & kept it myself.
Working moms are SO allowed to complain. My best friend has to work--yes, HAS to work for the health insurance because her husband's employer's insurance plan sucks rocks. So she works horrendous shifts (5-11 pm) and all day Saturday, to avoid day care.
I'm a stay at home mom and between the two of us we have the complaining spectrum covered. She gets to complain to me about the idiots at her work, and leaving her lovely child at home without his Mama, and I get to complain about never seeing adults all day except for my husband when he comes home, and it is tacitly understood that NEITHER of us is allowed to say to the other, "Well, if you REALLY wanted to you could..."
No. Moms have it hard enough in this world. Let's quit bashing each other for our choices, whether they are imposed or really chosen.
And the dress? Is lovely. I can only dream of wearing a dress like that someday when I lose all my excess baggage.
Wow, nice dress! And you so look like a model in that picture. (OK, maybe the model is Kate Moss after a bender, but still! A model!)
The last time I wore a dress that expensive, I got married in it. But that was also the last time I wore a dress of any kind, so don't go by me.
I hope you had a fun evening!
You can more than get your money's worth out of that dress!
That was such a great post! Can I request that you do a drunk post at least once a week so I can live vicariously through you until April when I can drink again?
Awesome dress - excellent use of the finger.
Haaaaaa!!
I love you so, Amy.
Great dress, I hope that you had a fab time at dinner. Please stop beating yourself up about working or $$$ or anything... motherhood is tough enough on the pysche as it is so don't listen to the unnecessary blither-blather from the cheap seats.
The dress, she is lovely. As are you, even when you are flipping off the internet. So... where'd you eat?
I say to hell with all those people who expect you to sacrifice everything for your children. If you do, the kids will suffer in the end, seeing you as their own personal resource.
And that is a completely insufficient roll model.
congrats on keeping it, wearing it, and telling everyone to SUCK IT. ;) glad you had fun.
Yea for the picture! and the dress. and for us, who pestered you into posting the picture of the dress!
I am so mad that my work thinks this site is porn and there fore I missed out on all the commenting fun that was yesterday's post.
The dress is lovely. I'm glad you have it.
And being able to wear all it spring and summer so the cost is down to $3 a week is totally worth. My husband has a strict "$1 a day" policy on his clolthes. So after he's earned his $1 a day he figures he's making money.
So, just keep wearing the dress and think about the money you're saving.
Love the dress. Love the hair. Love the finger.
Rock on drunk Amalah.
New dress: $$$$$$$$
Big dinner out with only hubby: $$$$$$$
Showing off a ridiculously flat post partum tummy and having boobs ogled by a grown man (No offense Noah): Priceless!!
You look beautiful!
did you wear the dress to the pediatrician's?
you combined THREE celebrations into one night! you can't wear some lame-ass-already-been-worn-a-dozen-times-dress to something like that.
and way to go with the getting drunk. i'm sure laura disapproves of that as well.
i can't imagine how hellish today is for you though -- with the hangover and the doctor -- god, i really hope you didn't have to go to work for the second half of the day.
WORTH IT! Love the dress- want one too!
Amy, I love you. And people need to stop being so goddamn judgemental. You're awesome awesome awesomeness.
Laura can suck it.
This is a sort of nonsequitor, but you did talk about diapers, so... When the child is up to eating applesauce, you have GOT to feed him the colored Blue's Clues applesauce (provided it's still available) the night before leaving him with a sitter or other unsuspecting individual. Blue poo! So fun!
Anyway, that's a fond memory your post today resurrected in me.
As a girl knocked up for the first time, all I really want to know is, how long did it take for your stomach to get that flat again???
I do love the dress, btw.
So THIS is the dress that launched 167 comments?
Comments that included you being called "evil" by your babysitter(who was KIDDING of course) and also a MILF. Excellent.
Well it looks very pretty on you, and the sweater wrap is nice too. Here in Michigan we have to go out for dinner wearing no less than 12 sweaters lest we freeze solid on the way to the car.
Sweetie, if I looked like THAT in that dress? I'd buy six more just like it. Seriously, you need to fill your wardrobe with such items that make you even more gorgeous than usual. The Internet insists!
Very pretty dress! You are a great mom. I have a 17-year-old stepdaughter, and while no one wants to admit it, it DOES matter that you have enough money to raise your kiddo the way you want. Things like the right school, lessons and activities, trips, clothing, not having to worry about every dime, ARE important, and will be more so over the years. I know plenty of teenagers who went to daycare lo those many years ago and are now wonderful, successful, happy kids.
Enjoy your little Noah--he is clearly happy, healthy, and very loved.
Can I do this on your blog- write a letter to Laura? 'Cause I really want to. I went back to the last post and read her comment and it really pissed me off.
Dear Laura (is that DOCTOR Laura?? Hmmm?)
I work. Because I work, I *can* afford to eat out, have my house cleaned, and buy dresses.
If I didn't work, I wouldn't be able to afford those things, which is fine because those things aren't 'necessities'. But I also wouldn't be able to give my family health care coverage (husband doesn't have any) or pay my kid's college tuition or support her while she earns her degree or save for my retirement.
It's so frucking shallow of you to assume that by just not buying a dress or not going out to eat, we could quit our jobs. While that may be true with SOME jobs, there are others where the income and benefits do MUCH MUCH more than just buy dresses and meals out.
Pull your head out of your ass and quit acting as if it's all so simple.
And this note addresses only the financial part of the equation - there is another whole bit about professional satisfaction and job skills that plays into the decision.
Nonetheless, at the end of the day, SAH moms have every right to bitch and complain about the parts of their gig that suck and work-out-of-the-home moms have every right to bitch and complain about the parts of our gigs that suck.
Get over it.
Love,
Linda
You deserve the dress. Thank you for the bathtub imagery.
Next time, buy one that costs more and use it as a burp rag, just for Laura.
no more lurking for me! NO MORE I SAY!
just wanted to know how fabulous you are and how you keep me laughing when i should be working at my job.
Kathy asked if you wore the dress to the doctor, and if you were too hung over to change, and actually DID wear the dress to the Dr., then you'll have gotten the number of "wears" up to like 4 (b/c you combined all of the events last night + new day at Dr.s). This is already bringing your pay-per-wear cost down dramatically (I'm talking 1/4 of the cost PEOPLE). Plus nothing says "I'm a great Mommy" like wearing dressy clothes to the pediatrician's office. ("Wow, she dressed up for me?")
Just had to delurk to say - the grass is always greener...
when I was a SAHM, I wanted to be working
when I was a Working Mom, I wanted to be home
Maybe I just like to complain, don't we all?
Hope you and Jason had a good time getting OUT of the dress!
Figured it out! Laura is jealous because she wouldn't look half as cute in a dress like that!
LOVE the dress.
HATE how nice and thin you are just mere months after Noah's arrival.
Serioiusly, you look FAB.
You look gorgeous, of course. It's an adorable dress, and we all think (apparently) that you totally deserve it! But, maybe, can I hate you a little for your skinny post-pregnancy self? Just a tiny bit, I promise.
That dress is so cute and you are, too. Especially drunk.