The Day After Tomorrow
Both Sides, Now

Free Random Parmesan Cheese for Everyone!

I really believe my streak of bad luck is coming to an end. I brought in some delicious homemade minestrone for lunch, but was saddened when I realized I forgot to grate some parmesan cheese over it this morning. Yet what should I find neatly stacked up in our office kitchen today? Why, three or four little containers of grated parmesan cheese!

I am not going to think about why in the name of Samuel H. Heck there was random parmesan cheese in the kitchen, nor am I going to think about what type of person helps herself to said random parmesan cheese and then immediately runs off to tell the Internet about it, because like, score, dude.

*pumps fist in air, hums Rocky song, because FREE RANDOM CHEESE, WHEE!*


Yesterday, I drove up to Baltimore to brunch and shop (I love using "brunch" as a verb, incidentally, although I generally feel like punching other people who do the same) with the delightful Sweetney.


Oh no, honey, I think they sat us next to some goddamn BLOGGERS again.

I would like to state for the record that Google Maps is every bit as vindictive as Mapquest, as they got me ridiculously lost and looking for streets that I AM NOT SURE ACTUALLY EXIST, and poor Sweetney's first non-email conversation with me involved me calling her to admit (in a very upbeat tone of voice!) that I was completely lost in a very sketchy neighborhood and desperately trying not to convey that I was about 99% sure I was going to die.

Because you know, I wanted her to think that I am cool.



Sweetney's a total MILF, in case you were wondering.


I took pictures of our beverages, which were pleasingly color-coordinated with the placements.

We talked about the exact same things every blogger talks about when they meet for the first time: Crazy People on the Internet We Have Dirt On and Real Estate: Really, Who the Fucking Fuck Can Afford This Fucking Shit.

(Seriously, I think I talked about real estate for like, two solid hours. Sweetney pretended to be interested for awhile and then, in apparent desperation, took me to various stores where I could buy things with our mortgage money, like gourmet dog biscuits.)


I peed on rug while you were gone. Sorry. Gimme biscuit now.


Noah woke up this morning with the tiniest little nub of a tooth.


I think he's just as disturbed by this development as I am.



I think free cheese on a Monday is a totally acceptable thing to blog about.

And congrats to Noah on his first tooth!


I think you are just lucky b/c I just posted about cheese too and it's not a happy post.

And teeth - ahhh, teeth are great. be glad you are no longer nursiing.


just de lurkin to say i love your blog! good luck with the teething....
and omg, i am comment 2 - how cool is that


You were in my old area! Where did you go for lunch and shopping?

Ahh, ye ole baltimore: the land where every child is given a last name as a first name and wears three shirts in their prepiness.


how come you guys never ask me to come for brunch and shopping? how come? i'm nice. i'm fun. i get along well with others.

there, now when you get together again you can talk about me, weird girl who asked to be invited along.

ps, i don't really get along well with others. i was totally making that up so you'd want to be my friend.


I think the world would be a better place if we instituted national Free Cheese Mondays. And maybe Free Tootsie Pop Fridays.

The good news is that Noah will able to participate soon, what with all the toofus growing he's doing!


Hello from Baltimore! Love your blog!


i have nothing of any importance to add, i just wanted to say how much i enjoy your entries. and pictures. and captions to said pictures. especially the captions.


Wait until he bites you with that sweet nub of a tooth. Ouch!

Vaguely Urban

In my office, the kitchen never has any parmesean cheese. Just cream cheese. Vats and vats of cream cheese. It's bizarre.

Congratulations to your toothsome little guy.


First the tooth....then college!

Our boy is growing up!!!

(So...what type of gourmet dog treats did you buy for the pupster? I have a dog biscuit business and I like to know my competition!)

Heather B.

Those cute little open mouthed kisses on the cheek are going to be a little less cute, now that he has teeth. Or I guess 'tooth'.


Today must be the day for scoring free stuff in the office kitchen. I scored what I thought was cream cheese for my bagel this AM. But I guess I need a stronger prescription for my contacts because said "cream cheese" was in fact sour cream, which I realized only when biting into my bagel. Blech. I hope you had better luck with the free parm.

Lisa V

Wasn't free cheese started by the Regan administration? Check that cheese for mold.


Free cheese should definitely be taken as a sign that things are turning around for the better. And I am jealous that you had (what appears to be) mimosas for bruch this weekend. I had cold pizza for brunch this weekend. Yours was way cooler than mine!

The Muse

I think Ceiba and my friend's puggle Milo have the same idea. You bought Ceiba gourmet treats, and he leaves you a "treat" of his own on the rug. I buy Milo his first kong, and guess what I almost step in going inside the house...

And yay! Noah's getting a tooth!


The cheese is never free. You will pay for it in other ways. Oh yes you will.


You can actually see his brain screaming, "WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS THAT?!?" It's adorable, as is he.


Mmm... cheese. Fortunately, I now work for a grocery store where the cheese is abundant and the selection is vast. Mange!!

Also: MSN maps. Underappreciated in my opinion. They haven't gotten me lost yet (shocking) and even warn of road work being done in the area. Love.

ps- hi!



If it aint goverment cheese, it aint free.


I've lived 15 minutes from Baltimore my whole life... and I've never driven in Baltimore because I *know* I'll get horribly lost. I'll take the light rail, thank you very much! =) Not a fun place to drive in if you aren't use to it I don't think.

Oh, and I'd be happy about cheese too. I <3 cheese!


Delicious free cheese would make my website. Esp. if it came in a time of more or less desperate need. Yaya for cheese!!!

Ali G

don't feel bad about getting lost in bmore - not only are the streets crazy, they are totally offset. you can be sitting in a perfectly legal lane at the light, only to realize you are headed directly towards parked cars.

also, bmore is 98% sketchy (down from 99.5%!) so you always have to go through a scary neighborhood to get to the nice yuppy areas. (keeps up business for the drug dealers.) it's urban planning like this that produced prodigy such as john waters.

but at least you had free cheese!


I'll talk crappy real estate with you any time! I moved out to DC from Denver, which was apparently a tacit agreement between me and the housing gods that I would never own my own home. wee!


Ha. HA! I'm dying, because I just met up with another blogger this weekend for the first time, and guess what we talked about? Crazy Internet People and Real Estate! Gah! I didn't know it was a Thing. Now I know what to expect next time.

Bozoette Mary

Cheeeeese....mmmmmm. (If you had lunch with me, you wouldn't have to drive to Charm City. But I'm not stalking you or anything! Honest!)


I totally love Baltimore. It's such a cool town and aside from the Crackton district featuring many, many, many homeless parks (which I ran through whilst running the Baltimore marathon), I almost like it more than DC. It's almost got a warmer feel to it. But also, less Indian restaurants which is a damn shame.

Allergies and allergy medicine make me feel funny.


So the question is, which blogger is going to make an "I See Crazy Internet People" shirt first?

Real Girl

Do readers want to help a fellow blogger out? I'm in an internet competition and need to recruit people to visit This Page and tell me about your most awesomely bad outfit ever!

I appreciate any help.

It's bloggers like Amalah who inspire me to continue at it.

P.S. A tooth! Wow, little fella, congrats!!!!

reluctant housewife

So? Did you guys figure out who can fucking afford this shit?


Great work on that tooth, Noah. Now get to work and cut 19 more fast so your parents can sleep through the night.


Hey, on a Monday, you take what pleasures life hands you. Free cheese! On a Monday! Question not the decisions of the Monday gods.

Congrats on the tooth. May it be as painless as teething can possibly be. And just so you know? teething doesn't stop when they turn, like, 2. My soon to be six year old informed me that he has three new molars that just erupted, "like, out of NOWHERE!" Eek.


Tell me Jason's shirt says More Cowbell. And tell me where I can buy my own if it does, in fact, say More Cowbell.

That is a cowbell, isn't it...? Because, I got a fevah...


Yes, Jason's shirt does indeed call for more cowbell. It's a Paul Frank shirt, purchased at Urban Outfitters sometime last year. I think you can find it online though.


Noah looks practically edible even when he is obviously alarmed--what a lovely baby.
I just checked the break room at work in case it was a "free cheese" holiday of some sort. Alas, there was no cheese, free or otherwise.


NO!!! Not a TOOTH!! Its too soon!!!


Uh yeah, I'm also a loser who would blog about free cheese. Because hello? Free cheese is like winning the god damned lottery.

Ann Coleman

Baltimore? Really? That's very cool that you were in my city!
I do not recognize the place, but I guess there have to be a few I haven't been to yet, right?
Ask your friend to take you to Hampden next time so you can stock up on feather boas and "Hon"glasses -@@-
Love the blog!


I remember going to Baltimore as a kiddo on MANY field trips and doing the little pedal boats and being told NOT TO LEAVE THE TOURIST AREA!!! I went back 3 years ago...and was AMAZED at how much it has changed.
Anyhow...I LOVE for me...that would have been a total score.


Those drinks you tell us what they were!


Who doesn't love parmesan cheese? And I love meeting bloggers in real life; it's great to be able to read their posts and have their voice in my head as I read.

Or is that just me? And YAY! for tooth nubs!

Just Linda

You did it! You called another woman a MILF. I might have to stop reading your blog. LOL LOL LOL OK, so we all know I don't have enough self-control to do THAT but I'm still callng you out on it. Is she really a mother YOU'D like to you-know??? Or a mother who is you-knowable in the eyes of others?

Some people get irked when TO, TOO, and TWO are used improperly. Me? My freaking pet peeve is the term MILF.

(Can I call her a MALOPWLTF? Is that okay?)

Can I get my parm on top of some cavetelli con broccoli, please?


Delurking just to say that for some reason it totally makes my day that THE Amalah was in my beloved Baltimore this weekend. It feels even cooler than that time when Nicole Kidman was in town and she worked out at my dad's gym.


yeah...mapquest sucks! Got us lost in Philly and Chicago. We use Rand McNally now


Am super jealous of Amalah because...

a)She's met another fab blogger in person
b)Her son cut a tooth way before either of mine and mine kids are older so what's the friggin' deal with that
c)She can totally get away with saying MILF and still look cool

Sorry about the mapquest thing. It does, indeed, blow big moose testicles.


okay, either i have to move or i have to physically force all the cool bloggers i know to move closer to me. it sucks not living on one of the coastal areas, it seems everyone is able to hook up over on the ends of the country, yet in the middle it gets very very sketchy and hard to accomodate. hrmph.

am glad you did not die.

am glad ceiba is still cute.

am glad noalah is going to start gnawing on everything in his line of vision - - oh wait, sorry am not glad, am sorry for you :( the baby is growing up!!! but think, he would really look like a freak as a toothless teenager, so...

Mama C-ta

Aww you were in my hood. Maybe Cricket and I will be seeing you and Noah at the Baltimore Rock n Romp's @ Sweetney's this Summer? Not that you know who I am or vice versa. Just another internet freak.

Noah needs this to match his daddy-o:
Handmade by my friend, also the woman behind the DC RocknRomp.


I hate Google maps. They pulled that "streets that may not actually exist" thing on me a few months ago, too.

When a friend came to visit me in Maine recently, I had to pick her up in Boston. I turned to (what I thought would be) trusty Google maps to direct me through the city.

HA. Boy, was I wrong. The entire debacle included us asking multiple people how to get to where we wanted to go (with no luck -- they had never heard of the street Google maps said we needed) and included me calling my dad, in Oregon, to try to look at where we were on an online map and tell us how to get to where we needed to be. That didn't work out well either.

The entire mess culminated with me going the wrong way down a one way street, head-on into oncoming traffic.

Thank you, Google maps, for nearly giving me a heart attack.


If you are looking for a coordinating "more cowbell" shirt (made by a mom - hand embroidered), then go here:

I just found them today.

And, I hope you took the champagne home (or guzzled it in style) - you'll need it with all the teething ahead of you.


Baltimore, land of cool people like John Waters, Ann Tyler and Sweetney

Sweet news about the impending visit of the tooth fairy


I'm an idiot. Seems Mama C-ta beat me to it.

Oh well, 2 posts on it, must be a good thing.


A tooth so soon. Be afraid, very afraid. Soon it will be "Mom, look how far I can pee". They do grow up too fast.


Congrats on the tooth - I think. My baby has been complaining about the hair on her legs and she is only 8 - I am doooomed.


Yay cheese! Your boy is just growing way too fast...he's starting to resemble a (gasp!) toddler!

Stephanie A.

Yay for a tooth, unless, of course, Noah has been displeased and in pain about it. Then Bad Tooth, Bad Tooth.

My son and your son are six days apart, so it is exciting to read about such transitions. I think a tooth is in our future, too.



Ali G: 98.5% sketch may be stretching it JUST A TITCH, though as I said to Amy as we were driving around: no matter where you are in Baltimore, you're only about 3-4 from Da Hood. Which is SO TOTALLY true.

Well, regardless, I [heart] the Baltimore, really i do.


That was supposed to be "3-4 BLOCKS from Da Hood."

Sorry. No coffee yet. gurgle.

Nothing But Bonfires

No kidding, I once heard someone say "and where do you plantation?" That's the South for you, I guess. Regardless, you can use "brunch" as a verb as long as you promise NEVER to ask me where I plantation.


A tooth? I think that means he'll be dating next. Holy cow (bell)!

So, what kind of dirt do you have on the crazy Internet people? Because...we all need to know it.

(and how fun to actually get together with a fellow blogger. So jealous!)


Love the "Need More Cow Bell" shirt. I got it for my husband a few months ago. That was the funniest skit ever on SNL! More evidence that you have great taste.



Hilarious. I especially like the dog bit. Well played!


hah. you had me at the subject line.


Free cheese, my foot! So that's where I left it. Give it back, please.

Great blog, and I love the pictures of your little guy.

Silly Hily

Oh my goodness a tooth. Can't wait to see pictures of it.


We also had out first tiny nub of a tooth yesterday. They're growing too fast!


So if you are visiting other bloggers and come up to PA.... :)

Oh gosh, so the sleepless nights begin with teething. I will tell you in advance that Hyland's Teething Tablets saved me from insanity. They cost all of $3 at your local health food store. I think even Target sells them. They are milk based and will melt in Noah's mouth. They help ease the pain and stop the crying. I should buy stock in the company.

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