Free Random Parmesan Cheese for Everyone!
March 20, 2006
I really believe my streak of bad luck is coming to an end. I brought in some delicious homemade minestrone for lunch, but was saddened when I realized I forgot to grate some parmesan cheese over it this morning. Yet what should I find neatly stacked up in our office kitchen today? Why, three or four little containers of grated parmesan cheese!
I am not going to think about why in the name of Samuel H. Heck there was random parmesan cheese in the kitchen, nor am I going to think about what type of person helps herself to said random parmesan cheese and then immediately runs off to tell the Internet about it, because like, score, dude.
*pumps fist in air, hums Rocky song, because FREE RANDOM CHEESE, WHEE!*
Yesterday, I drove up to Baltimore to brunch and shop (I love using "brunch" as a verb, incidentally, although I generally feel like punching other people who do the same) with the delightful Sweetney.
Oh no, honey, I think they sat us next to some goddamn BLOGGERS again.
I would like to state for the record that Google Maps is every bit as vindictive as Mapquest, as they got me ridiculously lost and looking for streets that I AM NOT SURE ACTUALLY EXIST, and poor Sweetney's first non-email conversation with me involved me calling her to admit (in a very upbeat tone of voice!) that I was completely lost in a very sketchy neighborhood and desperately trying not to convey that I was about 99% sure I was going to die.
Because you know, I wanted her to think that I am cool.
Sweetney's a total MILF, in case you were wondering.
I took pictures of our beverages, which were pleasingly color-coordinated with the placements.
We talked about the exact same things every blogger talks about when they meet for the first time: Crazy People on the Internet We Have Dirt On and Real Estate: Really, Who the Fucking Fuck Can Afford This Fucking Shit.
(Seriously, I think I talked about real estate for like, two solid hours. Sweetney pretended to be interested for awhile and then, in apparent desperation, took me to various stores where I could buy things with our mortgage money, like gourmet dog biscuits.)
I peed on rug while you were gone. Sorry. Gimme biscuit now.
MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE REALM OF BORING:
Noah woke up this morning with the tiniest little nub of a tooth.
I think he's just as disturbed by this development as I am.