I have so very many stories to tell y'all, including stories about:
1) Why Law & Order is a big lying pile of shit,
2) The bathing habits of the DC citizenry, like, DUDES,
3) Toe vs. Vacuum Cleaner (advantage: Hoover),
4) Why I am an idiot, part 3290084334686423, and
5) Why "Is there a certified locksmith on staff?" should be one of your top questions when interviewing daycare providers.
(Edited later because apparently, numbering five different items properly is really, really hard. Wouldn't you want me on a jury of your peers?)
But I cannot tell any of them now, as I am back to court today to mete out harsh and totally-not-swift justice. Bah.
However, I do think this hat may be violating some kind of cuteness statute.
Have a good day, pretty people, spay and neuter your pets, and please remember to keep your handguns licensed and registered.