Plot Twist
Gearing Up For Writersblockapalooza 2006

Freefalling, part two

I've been unemployed once before. It was 2001 and I was working at a small software start-up in Virginia -- one of those tiny dot.com outfits that spent a lot of time and effort telling people that it wasn't a dot-com, it had a PRODUCT, and even though the PRODUCT would pretty much eat your computer alive from the inside out and no one had ever bought a single copy of the PRODUCT, we had loads of funding and free soda and snacks in the kitchen.

We'd had layoffs once before, and I survived miraculously by virtue of having the smallest salary in the company. I got bounced around as a technical writer, marketing manager, events coordinator, office-supply-closet stocker and office-coffee-pot scrubber. I also paid the company's bills, but the checks always bounced and I got very good at blaming our bank and promising to "look into things," which meant testily emailing various VPs about the need to STOP SPENDING SO MUCH DAMN MONEY ALREADY.

I stayed because I had no where else to go. One time I submitted a couple articles to magazines and got rejected and hid in the office bathroom to cry.

After 9/11, there were more layoffs. My friend ran a scan of the company email server and found a bunch of emails from the executives as they bargained and jockeyed for their team members and compiled the List of the Damned.

My friend was on the list; I wasn't. I took him out for lunch and we never went back -- we stayed at a bar instead doing shot after shot of straight vodka and waited for the terrorists to blow us all up.

Hours later I realized I'd left my coat at the office and stumbled back in sometime around 5:30 with a mouthful of Altoids and my high heels in my hand. The company president was waiting for me, and within 10 minutes I was packing up my desk and wondering if he knew that I was drunk off my ass.

My severance package was one month's worth of pay. I was out of work for three months. We'd bought our condo that summer -- with a mortgage that we figured we'd "grow into" with mad raises and stock options and I don't know, a magic money tree we'd grow in the window box. We'd spent all of our savings on the downpayment and refinishing the goddamn floors.

I sent out hundreds of resumes and stayed in bed all day and reused the coffee grounds. When I accidentally missed the dentist appointment I desperately needed before my health insurance ran out, they informed me I owed a $50 fee and I broke down in hysterical tears because I simply didn't have $50. I filed for unemployment and got called a white bitch by some random guy in the waiting area.

In complete panic, I took a hefty pay cut and accepted a marketing job with little government contractor. They never told me that I'd be working by myself in a little satellite office or that the "contracts" they listed on their client list were mostly from the 1980s or that my entire budget for brochures and events and advertising for the year was $9,000.

And so I spent a few horrible weeks printing out my boss's email and trying to explain to her that you don't "open" Windows, it's just WHAT YOUR COMPUTER RUNS ON DUMBASS, and being tasked with tracking what happened to this one restaurant that the company president ate at once, he forgets the name, but it was Thai food, or maybe Vietnamese, anyway, it's gone now but please find out when and why it closed and when I suggested that *just maybe* this wasn't the best use of my time I was reprimanded for "clinging to my title" and "not being a team player."

Then my former boss at a financial publishing company called -- the company I left a year before to go make my Internet stock option fortune -- and offered me a job. I packed up my desk that day and left a Post-It on my boss's computer monitor telling her that I would not be returning, thanks ever so fucking much.

I have been here ever since.

And now I am leaving.

And while Rockstar Mommy's Jerry-Maguire-like exit scenario (WHO'S COMING WITH ME? Y'ALL SUCK AND I AM TAKING THE FISH.) certainly sounds way awesome, quitting your job is rarely that dramatic. Or fun. It kind of sucks. And my office doesn't have any fish.

It was more like this: "Hello, I have bad news and would like to awkwardly hand you a resignation letter while making relationship-like platitudes of It's Not You, It's Me, We're Just Different People Now and I Don't Think We Mesh Very Well" and then I got all choked up because my boss -- my completely fantastic crate-racing jello-shooting boss -- said all he cared about was that I was happy.

And I am happy.

I can't tell you a lot of particulars about what I'll be doing -- yet -- but I will soon. I hope y'all will like it, and I hope you will read it. There will probably be some contracting for my current company along with some stuff that makes me tremble with excitement every time I think about it because I WILL BE A WRITER, A REAL-LIVE WRITER WHO GETS MONEY FOR WRITING THAT SHE WRITES HER DAMN SELF.

A lot of people think having a baby pretty much puts your life on hold. That babies and families are what keep women bashing against the glass ceiling. That your dreams take a backseat to your child's dreams.

I will tell you this: Bullshit.

The opportunities I've been given (nay, handed on a fucking silver platter with a pretty caligraphied notecard that says "For Amy") would never have come to be if not for Noah. I wouldn't have had the voice or the experience or the simple GUTS to go after them. Noah inspires me in so many ways -- to be a better writer, a better person and to do whatever it takes to give him the very best life possible.

Back when I was still on maternity leave, Jason and I agonized over our budget because MAN, did I love this motherhood business. MAN, did I want to stay home. We came up with a number. The amount of money beyond Jason's salary that we.just.plain.needed.every.month.not.negotiable.amen.

My experience back in 2001 taught us that living off our savings -- the savings we've meticulously built up over the years because NEVER FUCKING AGAIN will we live that close to the edge of the financial cliff -- was not something we were willing to do, even temporarily. And so we were left with this number. It alternatively seemed (to me) deliciously attainable and yet...totally impossible.

So I came back from maternity leave a different person, to a slightly different job than the one I'd left in September. I'm so glad I did. I owed it to myself to try. I owed it to Jason to not force him into a breadwinner role that he wasn't comfortable with. I owed it to Noah to make sure his parents weren't stressed out over money and his mother wasn't having anxiety attacks and reusing the coffee grounds again.

But oh my God, I hated it.

I will now and forever have the deepest admiration for mothers who work outside the home. I don't know how you do it. Because I sucked at it. I was always rushed and overloaded and running late and tired -- oh my God, so tired -- and if there was anything I hated more than the morning rush it was the drive home at night. I missed Noah so badly and he was RIGHT THERE in his infant carseat but I couldn't see him or play with him and traffic meant another 45 minutes of our time together was sucked away from us.

By Friday I was so tired and worn out that I seriously had no business getting behind the wheel with Noah in the car. So Fridays were the days that I missed my exit or locked my keys in the car or spilled coffee on myself or made a million other stupid mistakes. I was so tired of the colds and viruses and using my sick leave to care for Noah then dragging my diseased ass in because I just couldn't miss any more work.

I had to make a change. And I've made it and it's terrifying and exciting and I AM SO FUCKING GRATEFUL. Because I know. Just a couple months ago I stared at our budget for the millionth time, trying to scale back more and more and it just wasn't going to happen. I didn't have a choice. I think it's bullshit to kid ourselves that all women in this country really, truly have a choice.

Oh, but you choose to live in an area where real estate costs seventy million dollars a square foot. You choose to have two cars. You choose to have a date night with your husband. You choose these things because you are not a good parent.

Arrrrgh. The whole thing makes me want to poke pointy things in people's eyes.

Anyway. Stuff came together for me. Details coming soon. Maybe it was luck, fate, karma, God's chosen plan -- I have no idea. But honestly? It worked out because of you guys. Because you come here and read and comment and frantically refresh and give a rat's ass about my family and what I have to say. Or maybe you just want baby pictures. Or maybe you hate me and keep reading in hopes that I'll get hit by a truck. I don't know. But thanks for upping my stats anyway and helping me prove that there's an audience for run-on sentences about poop. And for giving me the confidence that hey, maybe I don't completely suck.

When I think about how you -- all of you -- have touched my life and changed it for the better; about where I would be without this blog, this outlet; and about how Noah and I have an army of friends and allies (I refuse to call any of you strangers) out there -- Jesus God, it renders me absolutely speechless.

(HA! Yet look at how I am still talking.)

So. I am serving out two more weeks. May 3rd is my last day. Then I get the nifty WAHM acronym and the chance to do everything I've ever wanted, plus the one thing I never realized would mean so much to me.

Swing

I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you.

Comments

catherino

Congratulations Amy ~ I've enjoyed your blog for a long time and I can't wait to read what's to come.

Amalah

HBT: YES YES and YES! Of COURSE you can admit that you like your job! I used to like my job, and then I sort of didn't and really it's all about what finding what works for YOU, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR CHOICE.

I hope no one reads this post and thinks that I've gone over to that dark "I'm staying home because I love my child more than you must love yours" holier-than-thou bullshit.

Because honestly -- any woman who can keep up this pace for more than four months, one week and three days (not that I'm counting or anthing) is a fucking SUPERHERO in my eyes, because this shit is hard.

Whatever choice we make is the right choice. It sucks if you don't feel you have a choice, and it always has. (Rosie Put Down Your Rivets, anyone?)

But yeah, motherhood is NOT one-size-fits-all.

Kira

Wow. You are...I say this with no irony whatsoever...inspiring.

Melissa

Goddammit, now I'm crying. Thanks alot.

And no, you definitely do not suck.

Congrats. :o)

Divine Calm

You are quite welcome. And thank you for being an inspiration to those of us who are childless-yet-yearning-to-have-kids-but not-lose-our-identity.


You and Noah R-O-C-K!!!

Claire

Long time reader, first time commenter. What a beautiful entry, you made me cry. I wish you all the best and truly believe you did the right thing (not that it'd matter what I belive anyway)You're an amazing writer and I can't wait to hear more about your projects!

Exiled to Canada

Dude, you made me cry....I never cry. Thank goodness I work from home, or I would totally be losing some of my street cred around the office. Hopefully my eyes won't be too red when I pick up my little guy from preschool. Good luck to you and can't wait to read whatever it is you write!

Chris

why is my face leaking?

good thoughts coming your way. can't wait to see what you're up to next. good luck.

Sara

This is great news, Amy. I'll be reading you no matter where you end up! I'm currently in school so I can attain my dream of teaching...but all the while I'm think of how I'm going to be leaving my daughter, full-time. It's bittersweet, to say the least.
Best of luck to you in your WAHM adventures!

Megs

Why did I tear up? It's not like you know me! But it's just proof of how great a writer you are. And how successful I know you'll be. I'm so happy for you, that you can go after your dreams like this. And never fear, as long as you're writing, I'm sure we'll all be here, logging in and refreshing the day away! At least I know I will be. :-) Best of luck, congrats!

Sarah

Oh, Amalah. Amen, sister.

I'm so happy for you and proud of you. And inspired by you. Congratulations a million times over.

Kirsten

How is it that this post has brought me to tears and I don't even freakin' know you?! And yet I totally do. As much as you are thanking us, I thank you. Thank you so so much for having the courage to be so... authentic and real and honest in your writing. I started reading your blog in February 2005 and I was exactly as pregnant as you were and you had just watched the Discovery Pompeii special and SO HAD I and your conversation with Jason about food? was exactly the conversation I had just had with my husband and I instantly was hooked on your blog. And then? Right before I went to the hospital to have my baby I checked your blog and you had just gone to the hospital too. It's just been so great to "go through" this phase of my life with you. Okay, I sort of sound like a crazy stalker. But who cares? I'll bet there are like 50 trillion other people like me. Which is exactly why you'll do so well at whatever you take on next. You've sucked us in! We can't get enough! As long as you continue to be... just YOURSELF, you'll be incredibly succesful.

Manda

Rock on, Amy!! :) I'm glad things are working out for you. :D

Lis

Delurking once again just to say I'm so happy for you and your family - and best of luck in whatever it is that makes you happy! =)

Lisa V

Okay, I have been here forever, back when you post pictures of yourself drunk and laying on the floor.Wait you still do that. Okay, back when there was that whole Judith Light thingie. I would never refresh in the hope that you had been hit by a truck. EXCEPT that you will tell about the whole thing so cleverly, and make me snort diet pepsi out of my nose.

I toast to the next adventure of you and Noah. Because that's all motherhood is really is one damn adventure. I mean the power, you get to grow a person, a damn person inside your body. Create life like Frankenstein. And then! Then you get to mold it and raise it and create your own little monster to set free on the world!! Cool, no?

amber

I am reading this at work and my 2.5 month old baby is just five minutes away at daycare. I am about to go into the bathroom to pump and am trying desperately not to break down into tears.

Yay for you and Noah and Jason for being able to make this work! It's inspiring to say the least. Congrats.

Diana

Tears Amy....actual tears...at a blog post.

You are a damn good writer. (plus, it just might be my friend tom - but mostly your writing)

Good for you!

Jess

Delurking to say, "DAMN!" and also, "You have some cajones girlfriend". I don't have any children, but you have given me the tiniest glimpse into the 24/7 job of parenting. Thanks for writing and good luck, I'll be right here reading/cheering! ;)

Sheryl

Damn, I am so jealous. I would cut off both pinky toes be a WAHM

dollyllama

WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH I want to quit my job too. But instead I took a promotion because we're having a third kid and we need the $. WAAAAAAHHH I am so jealous. You are lucky! Congratulations!

European

Yay for you!
Glad you found a way to make it happen!
Happyhappyhappy!

SilentlyHoping

Oh my gosh! That's so awesome. I can't wait to hear all the details. You deserve this.

And you totally made me cry several times. But that could also be the hormones.

Good luck!

sweetney

oh my god. YAY!!!

Traci

Amy,

Congratulations...as cheesy as it sounds, everyone should be able to dream big and live doing what they love. I've learned this the hard way (although I am supremely happy now).

I'm so happy and excited for you.

And can I just say (and not the first, I'm sure) that your kid is the cutest thing. Ever.

Kristen

I'm a relatively new reader of yours and as a new mother myself, who through blogging has found a voice that I never knew I had, I cannot agree more fervently with your statement about not putting your life on hold for your child.

Little did I know that when popping out my daughter (okay, it was SO not like popping, but you get my point), I would find such great personal and professional satisfaction and a life I never knew was possible

Your possibilities are endless - enjoy exploring them. We anxiously await reading about them.

Shelly

So happy & proud of you!!!

Best wishes

Tricia Bailey

Amy,
I am thrilled, envious and inspired. Am looking forward to the updates.

Editrix

Fat hot ham and jiggy hot damn -- from one Amy to another, huge congratulations. Can't wait to learn more about what's in store next for you.

jenn

you are freakin' amazing. you deserve every blessing you have recieved.

suzanna danna

Again, congratulations and all the best of luck to the three of you (and your mom and her body made out of four-leaf clovers). We will all still be here looking forward to your little notifies and pushing refresh because we are rooting for you. (Yes, I just said "rooting".)

shiny

Kickass! I'm glad you're getting to do what you want... my mom was a work from home mom and the amount of time she spent with us while we were growing up is irreplacable. Whatever you do, I'm sure you'll be awesome at it!

HBT

Thank you and thank you again. I have been doing it for eek more than a year (OMG I am going to be the Mom to a two year old in 4 months). Breathe. Ok.

You are right- even though parts suck it does work for our family now. Though tell me that when I am crying in Toronto on a business trip without my baby. WAA!!!!

mkn

While I am SO happy for you and heartened by the fact that you are going to be able to do what you want to do...I can't help thinking how ridiculous it is that it is so damn hard.

Why does it have to be so hard to find a balance between being a mom, making a living, and having an actual life? I hear you on the wanting to poke things at people's eyes and on the whole "choice" concept.

If my choice is to move away from family to somewhere cheaper, then I am giving up my support system and the family that I so desperately want my children to be close to. So where's the choice in that situation? There isn't one, as far as I'm concerned.

Each time someone like you finds a way to make a living and be at home with her child, it's a victory for all of us. So thanks! And good for you!

callistawolf

I'm so happy for you. The sky's the limit here and you're just getting started! I cannot wait to see what's in the works. You can bet your sweet bippy that if you wrote it, I'll read it. :)

I worked for a short short SHORT time when my son was 8 to 14 months old and it SUCKED SO HARD. So I'm so excited you finally get to be at home with your delicous little bundle of sweetness. :)

ALC

Delurking to say I don't think you're lucky at all. I think you've worked very hard to earn this opportunitiy and to hone your talents. Although I'm not a wife or a mother, you (along with a few other women in the past month) inspire me to take the chance and leave my comfort zone in order to pursue what I really want. Congratulations!

Julie

That was awesome. All of it. Every word.

You took so many thoughts out of my head and described so many of my own experiences.

Thanks for the WOHM love. I truly appreciate that.

Starbuck

To whoever asked, WAHM = Work at Home Mom

superfantastic

Way to be a dream-chasing gutsy role model for your son! Go you! And I will read whatever you write, even if I have to PAY for it.
Also I think we were laid off around the same time in 2001 and it's too bad we didn't know each other because you could have come over for permanent happy hour with my also-laid-off roommate and I. To this day we refer to the messy bun hairstyle as "the unemployment" thanks to those months.

Seredne

Wow... stumbled on your blog and this was so inspiring!

I really identify with what you said here: "...That babies and families are what keep women bashing against the glass ceiling. That your dreams take a backseat to your child's dreams." My family is always telling me that, and I got so scared that I jumped into a career path I didn't want because I thought it would give me "security." Now I'm finally stepping away from it even though I don't exactly have a Plan B.

I can't wait to see what you are doing and how you got there! Hopefully you will have more tips for all of us out there who keep putting what they want on the back burner!

Jaime

Amy, I'm so happy for you and your family. My daughter just turned a year old and I'm facing the same feelings you so eloquently stated in this entry. I wish I could quit and devote all my time to being a SAHM or even a WAHM, but I can't- I'm a single mommy with no family. Noah is sure a lucky boy. Keep us posted.

Kim

That was so nice!

Good luck with everything! :)

So... um, can I have YOUR job then?

jomama

I am so happy that you are happy (and a little jealous as well). I can't wait to see what exciting and rewarding things are in store for you. Congrats!

Heather B.

I'm ridiculously happy for you.

ElizabethZ

I started to tear up too. I am truly happy for you and for Noah. I anticipate hearing about your "details" and I am sure whatever it is will be fabulous! BTW - Noah is the 3rd cutest baby I have ever seen. My twin boys are tied for 1st & 2nd. hehe.

GranolaSpice

So that made me cry. Is it okay to say that I'm proud of you? Because my God, I am! I think taking steps toward your dream, no matter how difficult makes you brave. Congratulations, Amy.

I expect that you'll have more time to devote to you Queen of Television role now. Please make the TV awesome again!

k

Anne Glamore

Can't wait to hear about it.

Having tried it all myself-- fulltime work, parttime work, SAHM-- it's all hard and I'm glad you've found something that seems to make you happy.

Best of luck!

Meg

Well, I don't have a lovely spring skirt like Holly's, but my nose DID drip into my coffee when I cried. Ergh.

This is so incredible, Amy. I've only been reading you for less than a month, but you had me at "fuck!"

I'll keep coming back, too.

Carrie B

I sat here with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes and wanted to stand up and cheer for you. Wow. I am so happy for you and your family. I look forward to reading anything you write. Congratulations!

clearlykels

Congratulations on your new dream working out!

Kristina

This is all just so fucking awesome for you. I'm so excited for you and your family...and a wee bit (as in huge, extra big tons) envious of you and your new almost-WAHM status.

Anna

Amy, you are great and you will do so.

Hey, girl, you survived your family, school, you met your demons and you you have beaten the hell out of them, you got pregnant in a natural way miraculously - after that, do you really think there is anything left you couldn't work out?

Dear, Amy, I'm proud of you. Move on!

Thora

I don't usually comment, but I always read.

I'm so glad that you seem to have found a way to make the grand *it* work.

Cheers to you! (Said in an old-lady voice, and with a British accent, and I have no idea why.)

lynne

Delurking to say wow fantastic post, very inspiring! You go girl I can't wait to here about your new venture. And I was really glad to hear your mum is ok x

Mary

Am a little late here but just had to say I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! You deserve all of the best.

Barbara

Well Amalah, you just inspired me to get off my ass and out of my PJs and get my resume finished and sent OUT Goddamit! Cos if you can do it with all the stress and parenthood and poop, well I damn well can with no baby or sig. oth. to worry about!
Well done and good luck!

Ice Queen

I am so happy for you and so very envious.
Congrats!

Chris

Never stop being you.

mommy2

Congratulations on your decision and just know I am completely jealous and envious. Thanks for the heartfelt entry. It was definitely touching.

Lori

I am so happy for you and even more so for Noah.

Congratulations to you and your family!

bethgirl

*sniff*

many congratulations to you. you have your shit together, and you are an amazing mom. Cheers!

Hillary

One of my favorite quotes of all time is: Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Good luck!

Angela

I am so happy for you, and I hope that all of your dreams come true. You and your family deserve it. Congratulations and best of luck to you!!!!

robin

Can't wait to hear what the future holds for all 3 of you. Love reading your blog!

Ellen

Guess we better start clicking on those ads! Where did the one go for the fleece pants/hats? Those were cute!

kelly jeanie

This is fantastic news, thanks for sharing your life with us! Looking forward to hearing all about your WAHM adventures. I'm also a WAHM but only boring clerical-type stuff.

Amanda

Gosh I am so dang happy for you! Can't wait to continue to read your new chapter. Best wishes!!

Bethany Coffey

You got it babe. You know we aren't going ANYWHERE. I can't wait to see what you've got up your sleeve. I personally come here for the funny, the adorable baby pics are just a nice bonus. You Rock lady, I hope you'll be happy and fullfilled.

Sarah

Whatever you write, I'll read it!

Ninotchka

SO. HAPPY. FOR. YOU.

Can't wait to see what's next!

Just Linda

Congrats! I'm very happy for you.

If ever there is an opportunity to liberate another corporate drone who is good at run-on sentences, well, you look me up, OK??? hahah

desiree

Once upon a time when I stumbled onto this site and became so addicted that I lost hours of "productivity" at work catching up on the archives I emailed the pretty Amalah to tell her that GAH! I was a junkee. She emailed me back. It made me feel like a rockstar, especially since so many of her posts mentioned majorly backed up emails and apologized profusely for never getting back to people. The email made my month people, my entire freaking month. Because of this I shall loyally follow the amalah for life. Where else in this world can you jot off a nice, three sentence email to someone and inspire die hard loyalty? That is the power of Amalah.

Is it possible to be both intensely jelous and exceedingly proud? I must invent a new word for said emotion.

MelV

WOW! Great post! I am just happy to see you say that you consider us all friends. It makes me feel a little less stalker like that my mom and I talk about you all the time. I also second whoever said that you changed the way they email. I too have discovered the power of the one word sentence. You are truely awesome!Please enjoy every minute you have at home with that boy just a little extra for the rest of us who cant escape the 9-5.

flybunny

Yet another amazing and inspiring post by Amalah. I echo everyone else's sentiments that this brought tears to my eyes. As I sit here at home with my broken foot and enjoying the fact that I don't have to work for the rest of the week, I have been questioning whether I want to go back. At this point, I don't have a choice but you have certainly given me inspiration to look out side my comfort zone and see what else is out there and for that, you will forever have my gratitude.

I cannot wait to hear what the future is bringing for the Queen of Everything!

LotionBarBunny

AMY!!! YEAH!!!!

You are a WAHM! You ARE a WAHM!!!!!


WOOOOO Frickin HOOOOOOO!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ps. I am excited for you in case you cannot tell. ;)

xoxo

dee

You made me teary-eyed for the second day in a row. Congratulations on being able to live the life you want to live. Noah is so lucky.

laura

Wow, what a beautiful, gut-wrenching post. I am so blissfully happy for you. You're gonna love it!
Hugs, Laura
weee!!!! she called me a friend

Audra

You are awesome, good luck.

Cagey

I worked for a Dot.Bomb, also. It was great to be a part of history - the Internet Bubble, but having to see friends bite the dust is something I never want to relive. Sigh.

Anyway - I am very, VERY excited for you.

I also second your thoughts on working moms - I have so much more respect for them now that I am mom myself. I love staying home. LOVE IT. I was just thanking my husband the other day to let him know how much I appreciate how hard HE works, so that I can enjoy all the Little Moments I get with my son. However, he thinks I have the harder job, so we are both happy.

lovemydox

SPREAD the luck! Please! That is my dream scenario!!!

samantha

I have nothing wonderful to say, only that "YAY" keeps running around my head, in that special baby tone my goddaughter uses. I'm so happy that you can be with Noah, get paid to write, and YES all that manic refreshing is finally worth it! I'm so glad your readers could "make all your dreams come true".

htretn

First time posting. I've been reading this for a long time. Just wanted to say congrats! Sounds big and wonderful! Also, congrats about your mom not having cancer!

LCA

I'm 23, and I know very little about life, but this is a big, comforting clue to how things work and how people survive and thrive. I'm along with you and everyone else on this journey.

bon

I can't tell you how positively THRILLED I am that you are getting these things...these very good things! I am so happy that Noah gets to have more and better Mommy time with you! I only wish that more women got these opportunities, but every time that an Amalah goes out there and kicks a little booty, it paves the way a little better for the next gal.

and what's this? A new forum for me to read what you are writing? A paying gig no less?

Whoop-YEAH!

Thora

...wait... are we going to have to PAY to read your blog now?

g

Delurking to say YAY!!!! Congrats on the big opportunities that are presenting themselves. May many good things continue to come your way. I can't wait to read more about this next phase!

g

Delurking to say YAY!!!! Congrats on the big opportunities that are presenting themselves. May many good things continue to come your way. I can't wait to read more about this next phase!

Sundry

It's fabulous news and I'm so glad for you and your family! I love what you wrote about the opportunities and motivation that Noah helped you realize, because I feel exactly the same way. Only since Riley was born did I start really believing that I could do damn near anything, that I could have the career I wanted and the personal fulfillment. I never would have guessed in a million years that having a baby would empower me so much.

Congrats, girl.

Another Amy SO EXCITED

Congrats! I got chills reading this latest post! Cannot wait, to see what comes next for you. If you haven't already CELEBRATE. I think I'll do a shot or four in your honor tonight!

You think the refreshing was bad when we were all waiting for Noah and his birth story? You think it was bad yesterday when we were on the edge of our seats refusing to leave our desks because what if Amalah posts and we miss it for a stupid meeting?

This time I promise you, you've done it. I will need a new mouse as I will surely wearout the left click button trying to refresh!

honeybecke

You stuck it out longer than I thought you would. I know that was so hard for you, leaving Noah every day. You are amazing. I hope your workplace gives you a bronzed crate as a going away present. Lord knows you earned it! That would be just too cool. You could stack diapers in it. See, a use for everything!
Congratulations on the life change. Hold your head up high (so you don't trip down the stairs again heheh)and go get 'em tiger!

velocibadgergirl

You're so very much my hero right now. You're getting ready to live what's basically my dream, and I am so psyched for you! I've only been aware of your blog's existence for about two months, and I rabidly check it at least twice a day. Because you're hilarious and smart and honest, and because you sorta kinda rock really hard. Congrats on the big big news! And the really kickass kid. Him, too!

velocibadgergirl

You're so very much my hero right now. You're getting ready to live what's basically my dream, and I am so psyched for you! I've only been aware of your blog's existence for about two months, and I rabidly check it at least twice a day. Because you're hilarious and smart and honest, and because you sorta kinda rock really hard. Congrats on the big big news! And the really kickass kid. Him, too!

Malisa

I hope hope hope that you are writing a book! I had my son Gus a few weeks before you had Noah. Everything you write I am living/crying/laughing through at the same time. Except the whole quitting your job thing. But it is tempting... Congrats and good luck. We are all on the edge of our seats to see what comes next!

Kelly M.

I couldnt be happier for you! I have been reading your site for a while now and I owe you many thanks. You are a funny, honest, poop-talking, life-living and admirable person. I look at all youve done with yourlife and it makes me feel like I can do anything with mine. Thanks so much for sharing and being true to yourself!!!!

Terri

WOW! Congrats:)

I have done it both - full-time work/or/student and stayed at home. BY FAR - the HARDEST thing i ever did was work/school full-time. It was always such a rush, no time for anything - everything still has to be done - which you do when you should be sleeping.
I have a few more weeks and then i'm home for while - and i CAN'T WAIT!

Best of luck to you:)

Jenna

Let me tell you: I have just had the shittiest two weeks of my life, and it has been all I could do to get out of bed in the morning. (And some early days, even that wasn't possible.) It has been a time of reevaluation and reflection--and lots of changes. And while things are (slowly) getting better, I find myself in a downward spiral at one point each afternoon. And I was sitting here in just that state.

And then I read this entry.

And first of all, it's just so lovely to hear some good news--ANY good news. :) But more important, it's an inspiration. It gave me the boost I needed today to look on the bright side of change. I know your decision took a great amount of courage and faith, and I applaud it. And it helps me realize that changes--whether asked for or not--can really be a chance to begin again.

(Good lord--I had no idea I was so maudlin or cheesy! My apologies!)

emily

Wow Amy, congrats. Reading your post made me cry. My family it trying ot figure out how to do the same thing. I am working full time with Scarlett in Daycare 3 days a week. My stomach aches when I have to leave her, I completly understand! I hope I can find a way to get out of this too!

Gabbiana

I am also 23, and in school, and thus more or less clueless about the real world, except that I think I would be (will be, eventually) paralyzed with fear by even a well-thought-out jump like this, because I am a wuss. Good luck, and I promise I'll follow your writing wherever.

Anna

So happy for you! Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. I don't often comment, but I'm always rooting for you.

Nicole

I hate you so much right now. I hate you so much because when I dropped my daughter off at daycare this morning and kissed her good-bye, I noticed that her ear was draining and infected (she's got tubes in her ears because every.single.time. I drop her at daycare, she gets sick and the sick turns into ear infections so we had the tubes put in to maybe hopefully stop the infections but obviously that didn't work) so I had to call the pediatrician's office and then call work and take my daughter to the dr. for ear drops and then take her back to daycare so I could come home and do some work from here and when I went back to pick her up, her other ear had joined the fun as well as a fever and now she's asleep and nursing when she should be having some dinner.

She's almost 15 months old but I still can't bank on her sleeping through the night because she's always sick and I'm always tired and bitchy and I hate working and hate paying for her to get sick. Dammit. Lucky you.

Raegan

OMG - I'm crying! Partly because I am so happy that you have such a feeling of giddy-peace inside you! You know that tone in a person's voice on the phone when you can totally tell that they are smiling while they talk to you? You SO had that in your post. You just sat there smiling and tearing up and bouncing your feet in excitment - I know you did! Being able to feel that with you through your incredible writing is what makes all of us feel this ridiculous love for you - this person whom we'd have no knowledge of if our other friend hadn't recommended your blog! Ok, so I am also crying because I finished Marley & Me last night - and your love for family totally reminded me of my love for my dog and how sad the end of that book was. Anyway - it's like 70/30 respectively. Thanks for sharing so much!

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