Flashback
Things I Will Miss, Part 3

Hello! Go Away! Come Back on Monday!

A comment from Tuesday's post:

You really CAN'T afford to stay home, so stop acting like it. You're going to have to make huge sacrifices that will stress you out even MORE than when you were dropping your kid off at daycare. Tell the truth: you got fired and now you are pretending to freelance when all the while you're shitting yourself because you can't live off of one salary.
Good luck.

Ha! Quite a refreshing change from the good old days of Laura and her snippity preachiness about how I could TOTALLY afford to stay home if my husband and I stopped eating out so damn much, or you know, just stopped eating altogether.

No! Now I am poor and a liar and EVEN WORSE, have developed some rather distressing problems with my bowels.

(Helpful Hints for Trolls! Guess what! When you comment, I get your IP address, and then I can see allllll the other comments you've left from that IP address, especially the one where you used your real email address, asked me to visit your real blog and mentioned what real blogging friend of mine is a real friend of yours, and really, you gave me a terrific laugh right there, so thanks, dumbass.)

(I visited your blog! And it was very funny. Especially the part where the very first thing I read was a whole rant about "I reserve the right to publish any email you send me along with your email address blah blah blah." Oh! The irony!)

(I am bigger than that. I am ABOVE THAT. But...you know. Tempting.)

Anyway.

This post is not about the troll, because honestly that is just about the stupidest comment I have ever gotten, and almost makes me wonder if she was just trying to be funny or something, because...huh? Like I would not admit if I got my ass fired? Like I would not JUMP at the chance to  have a public hysterical freak-out of that caliber just to save my pride?

People, I have told you about my cervical mucus. I mean. Come on.

Anyway!

MY POINT IS: I am not fired nor am I making the freelancing shit up, because my first regular gig (gig! I have gigs!) starts on Monday, when I will start posting for ClubMom as their Round-Up Blog Editor for the Round-Up Blog that Rounds-Up Mom Blogs and Blogs About the Best of Mom Blogs in a Round-Up Blogging Fashion.

If you read a lot of other blogs of the mothering kind, you have probably noticed a few people mentioning that they've been chosen by ClubMom to blog about various parenting-related topics. My job is basically to read what they write and then tell you to go read it too. And yes, they are paying me money for this. MONEY. TO READ BLOGS. BLAWWWGS.

I think the Round-Up Blogger is supposed to be some kind of community-building den-mother type to all the bloggers of the world, but I prefer to think of myself as a TERRIFYING BLOGGING OVERLORD.

Amy: WRITE QUALITY CONTENT OR TREMBLE IN FEAR. GROVEL FOR MY LINKAGE.

Everybody Else: Um. Fuck you.

Amy: Fu-...oh. Um...you go away! You go away and go eat some dirt!

(There is no cursing on the Round-Up Blog. No cursing! This is pretty much the biggest challenge of my entire writing career.)

AGAIN WITH THE ANYWAY.

I'll be posting to this blawwwg a minimum of five times a week (mmmmm, contractually-obligated goodness) (and mmmmmm, part-time babysitter) and I'll be telling dumb stories about dumb things that I do that are dumb and also! TALKING ABOUT YOUR BLOGS. Yes, yours!

I promise you it will be fun, and holy mother of blogs, you better leave me a comment today with your URL so I won't run out of material after three days. I'm basically be creating and surfing the biggest, fattest blogroll of mom blogs, mom-to-be blogs, wannabe-mom blogs and maybe even some dad blogs, because I am CRAZY like that. ClubMom clearly has no idea what a rebel they hired.

And no, ClubMom co-founder Andrew Shue has not called me and I don't have his email address, which fine, I HAD VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ABOUT MELROSE PLACE THAT AREN'T ANSWERING THEMSELVES OVER HERE, BUT WHATEVER.

Also, I am still waiting for Meredith Viera to offer me her spot on The View, but I am positive that's coming any time now. In fact, I better go check the fax machine again. Sometimes stuff falls off the tray.

So the fun starts on Monday, and then, oh but then, I will be announcing even MORE FUN STUFF on Wednesday, which...gee...Wednesday. Didn't something used to happen semi-regularly around here on Wednesdays? Hmmm, I can't quite seem to recall.

(EEEEEEEEEEEKKK! YAY!)

Aw

The troll WAS partly right. We still eat out at restaurants, but are now too poor to afford a second glass of wine for the baby.

Nose

Or real tissues, apparently. Gross, self.

Comments

supa

pimpage: Supafine.

High fives on the gig, you freelancer, you.

Dawn

I grovel before you - terrifying Mommy blog overlord. Can you be pacified with mojitos? Cause I seem to have developed a talent.

Nancy

How about a mom with a blog about her KITCHEN RENO?! I *know* you can't resist that one.

Considering I write it mostly for my parents and a small group of online friends, I'm not saying it's the Next Big Blog, but hey, if you're looking to diversify from the same ol' potty-training travails ...

Congrats on the gig. ClubMom is lucky to have you. There will be many more great gigs to come, I'm sure!

Kristen

Congratulations on your gigs. Hey, do "tag-teaming" blogs count? Because that's what Home on the Fringe is. A mom AND a dad blogging. How 'bout that?

By the way, you've kept me entertained at work today, I've had a blast with the archives. Thank you.

Vicky (Desperate to be a Housewife)

Crap! I just read on the People website that they gave your View job to Rosie O'Donnell. And you soooo could have given Elisabeth some haircare tips!

Can't wait to read you on Clubmom. I tried joining but, as a Canuck, all those free offers for video rentals, hair products and diaper samples were just many-emails-basically-amounting-to-spam-for-offers-I-can't-take-advantage-of. (your first assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to bring ClubMom on board with the Canadians...we may not have Tivo or Chik Fil A or Target (sob), but would it kill them to give us some 2 for 1 chicken from KFC so we don't starve up here in our igloos? Just sayin)

Best of luck in your new job!

MoMMY

I'm so not good at this pimpin' thing but I am a mom. with a blog. Think you could tell from my name?

So excited about you new gig. Go Amy!

madge

Wouldn't you actually be the Terrifying Mommyblog OverLADY?

I guess it doesn't have the same ominous growl that way.

Beverly

Congratulations on the new gig! I know absolutely nothing about ClubMom, but I guess now I'll have to check it out ... I can't wait to see what you've got in store!

Signed,

Another Mom with a Blog :)

kenya

"delurking" (i hate that fucking word) to say: come on over and check me out... but not until the 2nd week in may as i am on hiatus because i am studying my ass off to get my masters. so yeah, drop in and stay a while!

callistawolf

Wait... ROSIE is going to be on the VIEW?? Pardon while my head explodes.

Feel free to add http://inconceivable.lilacpixels.com to the blogroll, though I doubt I post much that could be considered newsworthy. Just, you know, in case you're totally bored and out of ideas. ;)

What an awesome gig though! I'm so happy for you!!

dcfullest

Congrats! So does Noah dig the biscotti cookies at that restaurant, I am guessing they would be fabulous for teething.
(I eat there all the time, I am not a stalker :))

tuesday

Sorry but rosie will be taking Meredith's place and hopefully she will eat *Star* and team up with Joy to kill Elizabeth and de-wig Baba Wawa.

Sorry you hadn't heard.

Lizzie P

I think I peed on myself a little (again) from laughing so hard at this post. OH! The tears are streaming and my co-workers probably think I am having (another) pregancy-related MENTAL MOTHERFUCKING BREAKDOWN but no! Alas! It is Amalah and all her funny goodness making me pee my britches. Thank you.

haley-o

Too bad about the language shit...won't stop me from going to ClubMom to check out what you write.
What a perfect gig for you. Lucky!

I heard Connie Chong (sp?) was replacing Meredith. You'd be a MUCH better choice.

I write about my 9-month-old daughter tons in my blog. I've been just a little obsessed with her growing mohawk lately, but I also write about other stuff. I have a lot of mom-blogging friends, too. So, if you run out of bloggers to blog about (which I doubt you will!), email me.

katbliss

I'm a mom, with a blog... but I spend most of my time writing about celebrities. OK about Brangelina to be more specific. I don't have a TV so its my way of zoning out... Dreaming about Brad Pitt:0 Congrats on the new gig!

Incredimom

my blog has no funny included in the content. I don't even try. But you know, some day you might be really desperate for another blog to read, so here it is:
http://www.incredimom.net

blackbird

hey.

I have a blog --
and I'm old.
And my kids are old-er, but I'm still a mommy blog.

Come get me
blackbird17.blogspot.com

also?
trolls = assheads

blackbird

blog-ER.

I've hit the pinot...

sorry.

Ida

I too am a mom with a blog, and a baby whose only competition in the cuteness department is your Noah. So, hey, you can write about my blog and how cute my boy is.

And I think Rosie is already taking Meredith's place. That might be fun. I used to love her show.

I am going to guess that Miss Troll's site will not be on your ClubMom blogroll anytime soon.

Audra

Wait what if we are a mom with a blog but we cuss in our blog.

Carolyn

Not a mom (yet), but an infertile with a blog that talks a lot about how much I want to be a mom.

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW GIG!!!

maricar

You'd be sooo much better than Rosie. :)

poobou

Ok, do I count as a "wannabe mom blog" if we've been trying for 6 damn months and I have yet to even get 2 freakin' lines on an ovulation stick?!?!!

(I'm a bit tense about the matter. It's ok, really.)

Congrats on the gig. (Gig! Great word.) And I am selfishly so happy that you'll be mandated to post 5 times a week.

Laura

Well, since you asked... for daily ramblings of a part-time WAHM Mom of a two-year-old, you can check me out, you know, if you get desperate enough.

Jamie

Congrats on the ClubMom gig! I think that one sounded the "coolest." Yea for you and the meanie/negative people can just suck it. I just started a Chafe My Ass Friday post so there is always ripe material there. LOL. Seriously, this sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you and couldn't come at a better time. I just started reading your blog and you always make me laugh (and I love the pictures of your adorable little boy.)

Jenn

Yeah, but there are those ClubMom bloggers who get to cuss and all. It is all about lowering the bar! We shall take over the world and make it OURS! bwhahaha

Eagerly awaiting your pimpage of my amazing blog--unless the title sucks and then, well, we will have to disguise it.

I'm not scare of you BLOG MOM OVERLORD. (Okay, a little, but I still won the bet!)

Jamila

Congrats on the GIG(s)! I'm a mom-to-be blogger, and since it's pretty much "pregnancy talk, all the damn time" over there, it'll probably be "baby talk, all the damn time" come July.

www.juliejamila.blogspot.com

Ellie

Geee Amy, get many comments?

I'm jealous, I mean, happy for you. A paying gig to read blogs. Man, oh, man. Good luck to you!

Oh, and are you really going to be bringing the advice smackdown back? Makes my little heart go pitter-patter to just think about it.

lindsay

you make me want to blog.... am already a mama, just not sure if I have a thick enough skin to be a BLAWGER.

Paige

Do you really have to already BE a mom??

What about a chick who's trying (hahaha) to lose weight, and is starting to think about trying to be a mom, and just might write about her visit to the OB to plan to be a mom, and is freaking out about it all for various fun reasons? What about that? Huh?

Tasha

Congrats on the new job and screw the trolls! I just started a blog about a week ago. I'm new. I first found your site after I had my daughter about 5 months ago. I read it everyday faithfully and then decided it sounded fun to write about my everyday stuff. I'm still learning how to work the bugs out. But Good Luck!

jonniker

Yay, Amalah! I am neither a mom, nor a mom-blogger, but I'm happy for you anyway! And dude you would be SO MUCH BETTER than Meredith Viera, and certainly better than Rosie, but really, I'd like it if you replaced Elisabeth Filarski-Hasselbeck, instead. Or how about Star Jones? Or Barbara Walters? Basically, can we replace all four of them with Amalahs? Because then it would be funny and irreverent, and populated by someone who doesn't take themselves so damn seriously.

And I will read the ClubMom stuff, for you and Sundry, but only if you promise not to take Amalah.com away from me, because then there would be some serious problems.

Exiled to Canada

You watch BSG right, just use Frack when you want to use the F bomb. Congrats on the new gigs sounds great!

amber

I've been trying to keep track of all of the ClubMom stuff, but I've lost track lately. Feel free to add me to the Mom-Blogroll, though I don't know if I'm truly a mommy blogger.

Corrie

I thought that your big announcement would be that you were replacing Meredith on the View. I thought you would kick Star Jone's ass and it would rock.

Oh well.

Congrats on the gig. Trolls suck

sherry

I'm a mom blogger! *wave*

Congratulations on the job! Instead of cursing, will they let you use made-up curses? Like "Oh, frickle-frackle, I can't believe this!"

Bethany

I want that job. I want to be able to say BLAWWWWG. And I want to get paid for it.

Congrats!

brit

whatever! You are totally making up these comments from supposeded trolls who hate you so that you can feel all doocy. I don't believe the rumors. Everyone loves you and you are posting nastiness to your own blog. ADMIT IT! (please don't beat me I think your pretty and I think I'm funny-its a disease.)

Kristina

Congrats Amy! Sounds like an awesome new gig! I'm the ultimate mommy blogger as my blog is 99.9% about my daughter. I guess that's what you get when you start the blog to keep family and friends up to date on your pregnancy. Now that the child is here, the family and friends only want to hear about her. I always knew they didn't care about me! Ha! Oh, and it's not very well written (IMHO) but I blame that on my being an engineer. I think that creative writing gene got lost or something.

Oh, and I'm bookmarking ClubMom right now just because they were smart enough to bring you on board! You're hysterical!

Sarcomical

not a mom blog, that's not why i'm commenting, but amy MY GOD. how do you handle all the nastiness? thank god i haven't been controversial enough yet to ignite the angry passions of my readers.

thank. god.

Elizabeth

I think that's great about the gig, congratulations! Getting paid to read blogs all day is pretty much the best job EVER. I wasn't sure about actually going to ClubMom on purpose, but now that it's you and Dawn, I'll be there with bells on. Or something.

Oh and I have a blog AND three kids, so I am in fact a mom-blogger. I also once wrote a post which I said was influenced by your style of writing, even though it was so not even close to being half as good as anything you've ever written. But still. http://table4five.blogspot.com

Sheryl

Wow! Congrats on getting a blogging job. Remember to get up and walk around once in a while so your buns don't get numb. Not that that's ever happened to me, just sayin'.

Elizabeth

I wish the View would have picked Rachel from the Real World instead of Elizabeth. But whatever. After Star got skinny, it got worse.
You would totally take over that show.

Congratulations on the Clubmom gig!

Also, more Noah pics, please! He is too cute.

lauri

I'm a new mom with a blog and I post tons of pics of my cute kid all the time and talk about Poo and other stuff. I often forget to use spell check as well. Come and lurk...

http://ukraineadventure.blogspot.com/

siouxjoe

Hey, official delurking post here. I do not have a blog of my own, however I read a very interesting one on homeschool bloggers. It's called Fish in my Hair. The current entry is very funny. Turkeys and disco. Seriously. Here's the link:
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/TC
Congrats on the assignment!

Aly

Well I'm not a mom (or even a mum for that matter) - but I think your new gig sounds fantastic. Kudos to you for going with it. =)

~Aly

foodmomiac

Yay on ClubMom. I feel a little bit better about not getting a gig there myself. Because I like you. If you sucked, I'd still be cranky. :-)

Looking forward to more exciting news on Wednesday!

Pammer

Congrats, Amy! Cool gig. I'm lovin' how everone is renaming "trolls". My personal fave for people like that is "fuckstick".

Feel free to use that one royalty-free. ;)

I'm not sure I could harness my pottymouth long enough to work on something like Club Mom - you'll have to let me know how that goes!

Come drop by some time. A daughter to a mom with cancer. A stepmom to one daughter getting married and one in college. A mom to a girly 5-year old and a little boy on the way (july '06).

Holy shit. When I read that, it makes me tired.

Pam

I am not above pimping myself for a mention by the Great and Powerful Queen of Everything. But I will see your cute baby and raise you a cute toddler and baby!

Pam
http://zachsday.blogspot.com/
Home of Daycare 90210 and Pantsfreesia

NTE

Am not, technically, a mommy. Am a VERY involved Auntie... probably this doesn't count. But it was worth a shot.

Congrats on your new gig (which, yes, I have noticed that I had to leave this comment on a few of my favorite blogs --- it just shows that I have excellent taste, right?)... the whole not swearing thing is a challenge that I am sure you can meet... just use this site to get it all out of your system.


Also - the return of the smackdown? There could not be any better news!
:)

cate

Wow. Where do these people find the time to make up such complete horseshit, and the balls to actually say it to you??

I continue to be thrilled for you and I laughed so hard about the second glass of wine for Noah. xox

rachael

woo look at me! i am a mommy with a blog too! (i put the link in here of course)

also, all hail amalah, blogging overlord. :-D

Laura

Oh Great & Powerful Amalah, Terrifying Blogging Overlord & Wisest beyond Wise, behold... here is my pimping. (Noah's new girlfriend awaits.)

Many congrats on the new job!

Java Bean Rush

Congratulations!

It isn't everyday we get paid to do the fun stuff. :)

Have fun!

JustLinda

Oh, woman... let me link you up to justlinda.net where the topic is All Toe Fungus All The Time. Yes, yes, you do NOT want to miss this! I am the Toe Fungus Blogger.

But I do occasionally blog about the children, the drooler, the Incredible Hulk, and that one with the orthodonic appliance that makes her talk funny. Gosh, I love em with all my heart... I sure wish I could remember their names.

phoeby

big pimpin a b-l-o-g...

www.phoeby.blogspot.com

I'm a mom and I only manage to post regularly because I work *outside* the home. (GASP!)

And I don't watch the View so I'm much more excited about your gig than Rosie's.

natalie

I am so glad about the gig because I love that you (and the rest of us) can REALLY laugh at the person who left that stupid comment. And I LOVE that tracked the IP address. Hilarious. I've had to do that with my blog before...my blog which is not a mommy blog, or written by a mommy (give me about 3 more years), but I am posting more than needed about my sister's first pregnancy.

christie

So Noah spends the day cruising baby blogs looking for your future daughter-in-law and you spend his naptime cruising mommy blogs...and you get paid...damn you are one lucky lucky ummm, I'll refrain from using that word.

Good luck...can't wait to read your curse free (HA! It'll take you days DAYS I TELL YOU to write each post) blog oh mighty powerful one.

And sometime when you're feeling a little evil, post the trolls info...we could have so much fun.

erika

Congratulations on your new position! I'm also a mommy with a blog. Sophie is just a tad younger than Noah.

Amy

Way to go! ( No- this is not Amalah/Amy messing with you- I'm some other Amy) Congrats. Come to Binkytown!

Amy

Hi Amy -

Amy here - you know, from your ClubMom Network network. We've emailed each other through that earlier this week. Congrats again on the GREAT GIG you've got going with ClubMom! Awesome! Oh, and feel free to visit me over at my blog and see if it's worth a review by you who must be Round-Up Blog Editor.

Talk to you later.

Amy B. :)

Tere

I'm so torn! I'm linking to my newest blog - which isn't a mom blog, per se, but I just started it and already have written a bit about my son, and I'll be exploring how being a mom fits into the rest of who I am. Thing this, I'm branching out in my writing, and this one is particular is just like 2 minutes old. But it will grow and grow, I promise!

HOWEVER, I've maintained another blog, and that one has way more content - a lot about my pregnancy, son and life as a new mom, and a lot of incoherent nonsense. BUT, I've maintained that blog anonymously - to protect myself from stalker exes and mean bosses - and I'm too paranoid to make any link or connection between my anonymous work and my regular self.

Well, I'll just leave it at this: if you get very desperate and need more material, e-mail me and I'll lead you to the anonymous one.

Jbeeky

I will invite you to read my blog but only if you promise to leave me angry, bitter, judgemental comments about how selfish and shallow I am. Comments about sterilization would also be welcome. Or at least send that sweet gal to my blog to give me the last slice of that swiss cheese called a brain.

Chris

I'm a mom wannabe. But I pretty much just ramble on about my life in general. Anyway, if you'd like a good long nap, go 'head and read. Congratulations again.

P.S. This was so totally a way for me to plug my own blog. But I do promise I'm a mom wannabe, so thanks!

blackbeltmama

Can't even tell you how much I LOVED your troll commentary. Love it, love it. You're all smart like that with the IP address and all.

But anyway, I'm a Mom, with a blog and I wear a gi (aka karate uniform), but you already know that because you did my meme and sent like a gazillion readers to my site which had me jumping up and down a lot and saying things like, "Oh my GOD! 785 and then 4 seconds later, OH MY GOD! 823! and you totally made my day. . .)

So, anyway, review my blog or I'll put my gi on and come kick your ass. Wait, I didn't really mean that. Karate girls only use our skills for self-defense. . .but then ignoring me could be sort of viewed as an act of aggression. . .

Oh, I don't know. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR NEW GIG! I'm very excited for you! It's PERFECT! And for any potential trolls, I WAS FREAKING KIDDING about the whole ass kicking thing, so don't take me out of context and get your undies all in a bunch! Geez.

Motherhood Uncensored

Think about how much money you would save if you didn't have the internet, or cable, or electricity.

How are your eyes not permanently rolled back in your head from all the trollness?

Bentmom

awww geeez..these "trolls". They only leave mean comments just to get a rise outta ya. Such crap. And they all probably own alot of cats.
Congrats to you and your new gig!!! I would say I'm jealous too but I can't write like no one's business like you can! YOU GO GIRLFRIEND. lol

Kismet

Congratulations.
I loved the troll comments.
Can't wait til Wed!!!

~K!

DebbieS

Woohoo! Congrats on the suh-weet new gig! That last pic reminded me of that "Simpson's" episode where they're in France and the guy is on the street begging, "Mah cheeldren need wine!"

Oh please, oh pretty please, check out my blog?? I promise that if you leave a comment I will have it bronzed =) (Do you mind if I link to you, btw?)

Jennifer

You are really a sweaty, fat old man sitting naked in a basement in New Jersey, aren't you? You just can't believe anything you read on the 'net.

Seriously, congrats on your new gig(s). I might even visit the clubmom site, though I usually break out in hives when faced with such nicey-nice places.

Adele Richards

Is Noah the MOST gorgeous drunkard in the world? I've been sneaking around on your blog for some time, laughing heartily. Too good!

Congrats on new job...as a mommy blogger to be I am flexing my muscles by keeping my friends updated on my puking schedule and changes to my nipples.

(Actually I'd like to be all about the nipples but my ma-in-law reads my blog and it kind of makes me shudder so I can't bare all, as it were)

baseballmom

Fuckit...you might as well have fun while you're being poor, that's what I always say. Keep on going out to dinner, and to hell with the crabby trolls.

baseballmom

Fuckit...you might as well have fun while you're being poor, that's what I always say. Keep on going out to dinner, and to hell with the crabby trolls.

Maria

Congratulations!!! Yay!!! Amy posts 5x a week? What bliss.

As for the friggin troll and its ilk? Please just ignore them. As if any normal person that follows your blog would for a microsecond think that you got fired - and then lied about it!! I mean! Clearly a complete effing moron.

lizardek

My blog has a mom, but my mom doesn't have a blog. I'm a mom, though. Does that count? Getting paid to read blawgs...you have the best life, Amy.

the kim half of glamorouse

Like all of us haven't been reading you and writing you comments as we just waited for the serious world of blogging to realise your brilliance...

I am working on the theory that flattery will get me everywhere.

the kim half of glamorouse

Am boycotting ClubMom as it only accepts United States based email addresses (hellooooo - it's called the WORLD WIDE WEB - not the US WIDE WEB. Is this the blogging equivalent of calling baseball and gridiron competitions "world" series or finals when no other country actually plays these games professionally? Idjiots.) so yeah. Boycotting.

starrynite

You go Amy! Am so pleased that you've got this (these?!) wonderful opportunity(ies). I am convinced that all the people who try to put you down are just insanely jealous of you, or just generally unhinged and spoiling for a fight.

But you rock!

ambrosia

no cursing? how the hell are you supposed to express yourself so that we all know EXACTLY what you mean if there is no cursing?

great job finding a freelance job so suited to your tastes.

jamie

I will totally and shamelessly plug my own blog!

http://jamma.blogware.com

Brighton

You can't curse?? WT...?

Huh.

Well, if you want to check out my mommy blog- I'm an ex-stripper/school teacher/ mother of four beautiful kids.

Oh, and I curse. A lot.

Sabrina

This is awesome! I read of the other blogs I read got spots too. Anyways I hope this proves to your troll readers that you weren't lying and telling the truth that you got a much better job! Congrats!

Jezer

For once, I can't wait until Monday!!!

And if you ever need to scrape the bottom of the mommy-blogging barrel, there's always jezewhiz.blogspot.com

Congratulations!

Nola

The whole cursing thing? Pretty much leaves me out of the loop of consideration. Which is not to be confused with the den of iniquity or the height of insanity.

Out of the desire to help you (because I'm all selfless like that) remain busy and productive, I'll post a link to a post on my site that is actually mom related. Most of my posts are more 'general irritant' related, but the mom thing does pop up with a fair amount of regularity. You can send me a thank you email (or a check... I'm not picky) later.

http://onlynola.com/wordpress/?p=145

One of the Amy's

Here's my blog, hope you enjoy! It's myspace....so I can use the ID to keep tabs on my nieces' myspace accounts and all their "friends". Anyway, hope you enjoy....

http://blog.myspace.com/thecoolaunt

Thanks,
One of the Amy's

tracy

Too bad we don't have to pay to comment. You'd be buying designer diaper bags in no time.

So, no cursing? Is that one of those games like trying to write a paragraph without using the letter E? I mean, they're not serious, are they?

Oh, and I'll gladly pimp my blog
http://www.magicnumber.typepad.com

Her Bad Mother

First things first: Jennifer-who-doesn't-like-the-word-fucktard? Fucktard is the BEST word. Even better if you turn it into BLOGTARD to refer to blog trolls. (One of whom visited my blog this week to comment on the post in which I outed myself as having been diagnosed as having PPD and having been sort of been fired for messing up some man's work life with my PPD to tell me that she 'didn't buy my story' and that I was an 'unreliable narrator' - wtf? - and that all of my supportive commenters were whiny-assed crybaby mommy bitches but, hey, still a good blog and keep writing!)

blogtard blogtard blogtard FUCKTARD blogtard.

Anyhoo. All of which is to PIMP MY BLOG, because I'm not above whoring my woes to get attention. Even if those woes are unreliably narrated, they're entertaining! And? I curse! Like a sailor!

Her Bad Mother - www.badladies.blogspot.com

(Oh, and? Congrats. Well-deserved.)

Her Bad Mother

Fuck. 'Having been sort of been fired?'

The blogtard also said that I needed an editor. Maybe I'll give her that one.

Kristin

Ohhh... I read about the ClubMom job and really, I thought... hmmm Andrew Shue/Billy is/was a big babe & maybe I should try to get this punctuation thing under control...

Congratulations on the new REAL LIVE NOT PRETEND freelance job and I think that people who leave meanie, meanie, mother cabrini, posts are weird because who the hell has the time to be shitty?

In any case... I have a blog and I am a mom and my kids are DAMN cute and swingers proposistion my husband and me so we must be cute too (ick.).

wordnerd

Okay, so I'm a mom, with a blog, although I don't post about my kids often, because they won't let me, but, like, I'll totally sell them out because, like, they totally don't have to know. Like. You know.

And, like, who really reads the 289th comment?

Dillygirl

First of all, I'm excited about your ClubMom gig! I think you'll be great at it. :)

Dillygirl

(Oops, forgot the second of all... but there really wasn't one. Brain's not working yet. I'm still working on my bowl of Lucky Charms.)

Julianna

God I wish I had a mommy blog. That's prevented by being 7,000 miles away from my husband and being forcibly seperated by politics and the federal government (but if any feds read this pleeeeeaaaaassssseee just end the torture and give me my husband, he's harmless to normal people like you, maybe a bit dangerous to bugs and also has been known to fall out of olive trees. There are no olive trees here in this state, I think we're all safe.)

Congrats on the gig. I am sure YOU are GLAD i do NOT have a mommy blog because I have a feeling you have more than enough reading now :)

wayward goddess

I totally knew it was ClubMom, cause I applied for that gig too, and your writing is so much funnier than mine and HEY! people actually READ what you write, lol.

I think it's great that you get to stay home if you want to. I have done it for 11 yrs. At first I went completly nuts and couldn't wait for the kids to get in school so I could go back to work. Now they are all in school and I'm all What? Work!!? you're joking right? Cause I'm soooo not going out to work. That's insane!

Jessica

I love it when people get to do what they love.
That said... I have a blog, I do I do! And I'm a mom!
You are going to rock at this new gig. (And I'm not just saying that so you'll write about me... honest!)

Roxie

I skipped past the other comments, so this may be redundant. Hooray for you and the blogging community. We are so lucky to have you to look forward to. Plus Noah gets more time with you. I'd say this is a win-win situtation for everyone! And . . . don't let comments from stupid people/bitches like that psycho get to you. She is obviously a troubled and jealous person. So from me to her "f_ck you, dumbass! Get a life. Step away from this blog, before someone gets hurt (you). We, devoted readers of the lovely Amalah, will form a human/blogger sheild to protect her. And also, you're not worthy."

mp

oooh -! paid to read and write about other blogs?? Bliss! Having to do it without cursing? Torture! Good luck to you.

Looking forward to surfing the mother of all blogrolls as compiled by the Big Bad Blog Overload.

Maybe my little mom-blog, shyly pimped here, might warrant a quick read in the wee hours of the morning after a long day of reading much more humorous and entertaining blogs, and you might like it then when you're already mostly catatonic anyway. A girl can dream.

www.mpchickchat.blogspot.com

HolyMama!

congratulations!! this is so perfect. yours was the only blog i read for almost a whole year (found you through a weird google search). i never read comments, much less knew to leave one. anyway, now i have a Christian mom blog. Feel free to visit it for professional purposes, or personal of course.

And i wipe kid snot with bare hands too. you do what you have to.

Melissa

Congrats on the OVERLORD gig! You will be the perfect blend of ultimate power and slight benevolence.

To pimp: www.sugaredharpy.com

I suppose the blog as a mom, two boys, and a newfound life in the world of preconception. There is no babydust or any other shit like that...oh, Overlord.

Allison

Yea, 5 posts a week! I can't wait! Good luck!

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