Okay, enough with the job quitting talk (today is my second-to-last day!). Enough with the freelancing talk (if I were getting paid for this I'd have said it's my penultimate day!). Enough with the camera phone pictures and the conversations with inanimate objects and ENOUGH with the goddamned mommy war jealous bitter comment fighting bullshit.
Instead, let's all talk about how royally and utterly screwed I am:
STOP THAT. STOPPPPP THAT RIGHT NOW.
I don't have outlet covers. I don't have corner guards. I don't have locks on the cabinets and our toilet is just a big old unsecured porcelain menace. We do have a baby gate that we bought for the dog, but...well, it doesn't actually lock anymore, which I am guessing is kind of a problem?
The dog crate still locks. So there is that.