Well. Here I am. New and improved! Now with 98% more boring!
First order of business: Yes, the Wednesday Advice Smackdown is back with a vengeance, baby. A for-profit vengeance! A legal-disclaimer-required vengeance!
(It was posted last night at 11:55 pm, which makes me oddly happy to know I'm not the only one who has a terrible time getting the damned thing up on time.)
I'm both thrilled and baffled, honestly, that some little jokey thing I started over two years ago would now be an Actual Thing. I mean, look: I have a box! Two boxes over from a Dooce box! HOLY SHIT IN A BOX, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
What happened is this: Isabel Kallman, who was put through the royal wringer by many of us blogger types just last year, is a Bigger Person than us all and I will not lie, I have a total girlcrush on her now and may actually be outside her office RIGHT THIS MINUTE with flowers and a gift basket from Lush. She reads this site and made things happen. Holy shit again.
So. Obviously this means I'm reopening the question queue. Because the questions I have? Oh my heck, they are old. And there's just something a little...pointless? is the word?...about writing advice for six-month-old questions. ("Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" "Um...okay, I'd help you, but I am guessing your cats have probably eaten your corpse by now, did you know they start with the nose? Oh. Right. You probably do.")
For legalish reasons, AlphaMom.com will provide a form for submitting questions (coming later today, along with a comments section because the Advice Smackdown wouldn't be the Advice Smackdown without a place for people to tell me that I suck). If you currently have a question in the queue that is still vaguely relevant, please resubmit it, as I'm leveling things out here and starting from scratch. (Mention that it's a resubmit and get a coupon for a free frozen yogurt [child's size], expiry date 8/23/05.) (No, but I will bump it to the front of the line.) I can't guarantee I'll get to every question -- particularly since some of y'all ask stuff that I just don't know jack shit about -- but I promise to do my best.
Second order of business: Yesterday was a draining, draining day that drained away much of my soul. The reality of what I am doing hit me like a ton of bricks at 5:30 pm when I walked about of my empty office, IKEA lamp and stolen Post-its in hand, for the very last time. The goodbyes at daycare pretty much fucking killed me, as did the handmade card Noah's teachers made for him, complete with fingerpainted handprints of all his classmates and construction paper hearts and the words "We love you and miss you" written out no less than seven times.
On a lighter note, however, I will point out that I was wearing my MONDAY days-of-the-week underwear, because I thought that was hilariously ironic. "Ha! No one will know except me and the Internet!" I thought, because I am dumb.
This morning I woke up, fed Noah, cuddled with Noah, took a nap with Noah, took a shower with Noah, fed Noah bananas and peaches and talked with my sister in New York for ages because she has a baby now too and is also my cover story for going up to the city regularly to stalk Isabel Kallman. Then Noah took a nap and I ate some lunch and wrote this post. I have a babysitter coming for a couple hours this afternoon so I can take care of The One I Am Not Allowed to Curse On and maybe play some Tetris.
Working From Home: good for me, bad for you, unless you are in need of a non-prescription sleep aid.
It's awake! Save yourselves! The drool will destroy us all!