My Moment of Triumph
Urban Babies Have Lawyers

Punkbaby

My whole life, I wanted a baby with hair. Hair I could play with. My Little Pony habits die hard, apparently.

The dream of braids and ribbons and wee plastic combs took a bit of a hit when I found out I was having a boy, but was revived with the thought of having a little hippie baby with long flowing hair -- hair that would drive his grandparents nuts because I should cut it off, he looks like a girl, and instead I would dress him in organic cotton tie-dye and teach him to pluck a single daisy from behind his ear and hand it to his grandpa while making a little peace sign with the other hand. Then maybe he could say something inflammatory about Bill O'Reilly.

Or! Or! Maybe he'd be a Mohawk Baby and I'd dress him in little punk rock onesies with bad words on them and he'd have a pair of tiny high-top Vans and his first word would be "anti-establishment."

Sigh.

Instead, I got a baby with a hairline so groomed and perfect it looked like he'd gotten a buzzcut in utero. It naturally parts on the side. It won't grow past his ears. He doesn't even have a damn cowlick. And for whatever reason, we seem to own a LOT of baby polo shirts and cargo pants.

However, the lesson here is that you should never let go of your dreams, because pureed apricots provide really exceptional volume and hold.

What, me worry?

Comments

Megan

If it makes you feel any better, I noticed a teeny, tiny lock of hair gone astray in the picture of him at the ball game. Although that's probably because of the wind. :)

erin rae

Bibs are so NOT punk ;-)

He looks so damn excited about the apricot-mohawk though!

kelli

Love it. They should call at that aprioddox fauxhawk. You know, the apricot Maddox.

Maria

LOL This is too cute.

I can totally see Mohawk.

Maria

Kim

The mohawk really works for him. Then again, what doesn't?

Do you think the perfect hair is from you passing on your extensive knowledge of the best products and styles?

Starbuck

Also, think of all the new WAS products you will be able to recommend to solve all the hair problems of the world!

"Apply a generous dollop of Gerber Apricots and style as desired" or "A jar of strained prunes will not only hold hair on place, but cover gray hair beautifully. Be sure your pursedog doesn't lick your head, though."

Sarcomical

ha! i share that dream. ;)

you just watch. in a year, he'll be all hair.

haley-o

My 9-month-old Joey wakes up with the craziest mohawks. I was obsessed with them on my blog for a while....Her hair seems to have flattened out, though, now that it's even longer. Love the apricot puree idea! Joey likes to style her hair with mushy sticky cereal....

Lori

Aaagh! Baby Opie!
Gorgeous! Thanks for sharing him, Amy!

PaintingChef

I can't even take the cute. It is too much for me.

Cheryl

You know, he kinda has granddaddy hair. It is oh, so precious. Just think of all the wine you'll be able to buy him with the money you save on haircuts!

Overwhelmed!

What a little cutie! Hey, I'm pissing off my in-laws by letting my son's hair grow "too long." I just can't bear to cut off his beautiful baby curls! And, if that irritates the in-laws, well it's an added bonus! :)

Sadie

Am I the only one who, when pondering the possibilities of apricot-puree-styled-hair in a house with Ceiba and Max, thought of that old SNL sketch with Dana Carvey as "Massive Head Wound Harry," when a golden retriever started licking and chewing his bloody prosthetic forehead when he lay down on the couch?

Sorry, that's not nearly as cute a visual as that there Noah with his sticky lil head.

callistawolf

Nice try there, Amy. hehe... My son had the same hair... I don't think he started putting on any serious amounts of hair until past his first birthday either!

And I sure did love me some My Little Ponies once upon a time. ;)

Brighton

My oldest son had hair just like Noah's. I had already had a girl though to get the My Pretty Pony residuals out of my system. I predict that your next baby will be the Clairol kid.

Robyn

My first son lost every strand of his beautiful red hair after just 3 months. It was very well groomed looking all on it's as it slowly grew back, until his first birthday. Practically overnight it turned into a curly red afro with a total mind of it's own. His hair is AWESOME! He freaks out whenever I try to cut it, so it is always long and shabby. My mother is constantly chasing him around with a brush.

We'll have to see what new baby's hair is going to do. In never fell all the way out like his brother's. It looks like he has an old man comb over going on.

Trust me, your son will have hair. Lots of it!

helene

Just delurking to invite you to add your supermom card to the mom's day salute;
http://hlb.blogspot.com

emily

Love the FouxHawk! Just wait on the hair growth, my 10 month old's hair had not grown at all since birth and then all of a sudden in the last week she is getting a Mullet!!!! I know I am freaked about the red-neck reference too! But this morning she woke up with curls on the top of her head too. SO I am praying to the hair gods that it all evens out! I am sure Noah's hair growing experience will give you allot of great material, and I look forward to it!

PS. how much do you love that fold up booster seat, we have one too, it travels with us just in case. It has kept my child from eating off the floor many a meal out at friends house. I always forget that a highchair is not a household stape!

Daddy-O

I just finished washing oatmeal out of my baby's hair. Dried oatmeal could double as superglue, I think.

Meg

AND it smells good! Which is not something you can say for most mohawks!

Her Bad Mother

I have Beautiful Baby Girl, Hairless Edition. Well, Chick-Fuzz Edition. It's going to be years before there are any ribbons or daisies other than the stick-on variety.

So, News Anchor Hair? Not so bad. At least there's something for the puree to cling to/

Weary Parent

Does that bring back memories. My son didn't have hair until he was at least a year old... I also remember a time when he decided to grow it long and then went for a color change. Out of the blue he came home with his dark hair... platinum blonde. Never knew what he would do next! And now it's short again and back to its original color. Next week... haven't a clue.

:)

Leah

Durrr...Flickr?

Amalah

It's all durrrr, all the time.

Motherhood Uncensored

Down here (the South, that is), they use karo/corn syrup to stick bows in baby's hair.

My daughter was born with the George Costanza - and is now sporting a modified "lead singer of Incubus" look.

I'm too uncool to remember his name. However, we like his haircut around these parts.

I'm going to try to try the apricot. Maybe I'll be a strawberry blonde for Mother's Day.

kerri anne

I still remember the day when my mom confessed to liking a certain flavor of baby food that she had bought for my sister and I, and to eating it instead of feeding it to either of us. Yeah, my mom is awesome.
: )

sarah

Mine came out on Friday at 34w5d with a full head of curly brown hair...if he'd gone to full-term, he would have come out with that hippie hair you so long for...

Real Girl

Aww, Mohawk Baby!

He pities the fool.

Cagey

Just promise NOT to go all Kate Hudson on us because THAT is just WRONG.

Also, think of all the money you are saving on haircuts. I can report that they don't give you much of a discount for babies.

Stephanie

There's still time for a girl, Amy. And with that all the floofy pink dresses and bows you can stand! I tried for 6 years to conceive and my little girl Fi-na-ly came-- Isabella! I thought we would not be so lucky twice. But- low and behold- I'm pregnant again! She was 9 months old when I got pregnant with this baby boy (also a Noah) who is due in July. You could be braiding piggy tails in no time!

Big Gay Sam

My God! You gave birth to a Republican or a Mormon. Or even worse, A Republican Mormon! Ack!

O.k. folks, we need a young priest and an old priest...

Isabel

I was always afraid I would have a bald baby. I don't know why that scared me. Probably because I had so much black hair when I was born, I wanted a baby that would look like I did.

I knew I was safe when during one of my internal exams the doctor told me she could feel my baby's hair.

And safe I was. My 3 week old boy has so much hair I thought about giving him a trim tonight. I even have to tuck it behind his ears. And he has a mullet.

I must get rid of the mullet.

(as always...Noah is so freakin' cute!)

bellabelly

Hey, you! I'm finally back to blogging. Your little boy is gorgeous... does he need a girlfriend? My Isabella has a reverse mohawk-- she has hair on the sides like bozo the clown.

bridgermama

I too have had these dream. Let's just say it wasn't in the cards for us or our beloved B. However, we are also huge fans of the faux-hawk around here. I will definitely try the apricots next time.

Y from the internet

OMG! I dare him to say something inflammatory about Bill O'Reilly, G-Unit will take him DOWN!

(And the dreams of ribbons and braids and crap are OVERRATED. I have to FIGHT with mine every damn time I do her hair. I liked it much better when the boys were little and I was all "PUT ON A HAT! LET'S GO!")

p.s. eeeee! mohawk!

Jessi B.

And to think I have been spending money on non-apricot related hair care items! Seriously, I have seriously deflated hair and am always looking for seriously great and easy volumizing products, seriously;-)

Boutros

Too cute. I have to add, though, that My Little Pony didn't offer as many hair styling options as Pretty Cut & Grow, with her adjustable, trimmable hair.

janet

I hate to tell you, but don't count on having your dreams come true with a little girl, either. I have two little girls with beautiful heads of hair that they won't let me touch. My dreams of sitting quietly braiding their hair in some Hallmark moment turned into screaming, yelling tantrums with me chasing them around with a brush. Bows, ribbons, headbands? HA! Never will we wear those things.

Jessie

Too cute! Much better than the mohawk I saw on a baby in the grocery store a while back. The poor thing was probably just a couple of months old and the parents had actually shaved (SHAVED!) a mohawk into the poor baby's hair. Horrible!

jessica

He's like the baby on Meet the Barkers, only way cuter! Something about little punk rock babies just makes me swoon.

mom101

I have a daughter with no hair either. I spike it into mini mohawks with the bubbles in the bath, but that's about the most "styling" I do.

Johnny Sapphire

I know how everyone says that all babys are cute (which is actually not true - I have seen some damn ugly babies), but your son is seriously by far the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life.

Silly Hily

I have always loved his little buzzcut.

mothergoosemouse

Hot button for me - my two girls will always look like girls. I grew up with short hair and people consistently mistook me for a boy, which is hard on the fragile ego of a young girl.

I accidentally spilled beer on my younger daughter's head last week. I was holding her, and as I took a sip, she lurched upward and knocked against the glass. It didn't seem to bother her, but she did smell kind of funny.

mary

I have noticed that Noah's hair seems decidedly mainstream, ever since he was born! Hah! That's so cute.

Since this is technically a hair post, I'm delurking to say that the Advice Smackdown has the power to change your life: CHANGE YOUR LIFE, PEOPLE! Amalah, your advice on how to create the "modern ringlet" has allowed me to achieve so much in the way of hair beautification, I never dreamed it was possible. Your description of wrapping the hair around the curling iron, and not "opening the thing", totally made sense to me and the rest is history. For some reason I never thought of not opening the thing. For this I thank you!

There is a reason you are now being paid to do the Smackdown...aw heck, I feel like sending you a cheque right now for that amazing tidbit!

Thanks for everything and congratulations on all of your recent success!

Wicked Stepmom

I swear to GAWD, aside from my own, there is no other baby out there that makes me squeal all psycho-like from the cuteness. I can't take it.

Really.

Make it stop.

I'm serious.

andy

Dude, i hear that. As long as my kid can hair it up just like Billy Ray Cyrus, then, and clearly ONLY then, will I truly be happy.

Lisa

*Sigh* I alays wanted a punk rock baby...rude onsies, Billy Idol sneer, diaper pins everywhere, the works...Preppy babies work too though!

Mama C-ta

I love to balance out my own punk look w/a bit of prep. Nothing goes better than a nice mohawk and a polo.

Carrisa

I'm totally having a punk baby, I don't care what anyone says. He/she will have a mohawk and rockabilly clothes and fake tattoos so that all the baby pics are freaking awesome. Maybe even a faux nose piercing. I can't wait. My future kid is going to be so cool.

Amy H.

AMY!!! (read that as though I am yelling at you, but in a nice way...sort of) I have a bone to pick with you. Maybe I missed it, so maybe you will write me back and refer to an archived blog about this, but I don't recall you sharing this experience and as I result, I was unprepared.
We had our first birthing class last night. You know the one...where they play the video. THE VIDEO. Needless to say I had nightmares. Why are we showing this video to women who are going to give birth in just a few weeks? We should be showing it to kids to prevent teen pregnancy. I mean, there is nothing I can do about it now, I am having a baby...soon.
If you didn't take a class and you don't know what I am talking about, they show a video of a birth. A natural birth. It starts off all innocent and computerized. You see the birth from within, so nothing too harmful. They lull you in. Then suddenly (without warning!) they show a close up of a baby crowning. WAIT! Shouldn't the narrator have made a preparatory statement letting us all know what is coming? You don't just throw that on the screen. And the woman on the video was naked. All the way. Now maybe I watch too much Grey's Anatomy, but I was under the impression that we got to wear some sort of gown.
FEAR. STRESS. NIGHTMARES. Geesh. Thanks, Amy.

Starbuck

HAAA!! Amy H., I saw that video, too -- 9 years ago!! I still remember it and it did nothing to inspire me to give birth. Seriously, they should show "A Baby Story" or maybe "Maternity Ward". At least those people wear clothes or are appropriately fuzzed. Although you may doubt this, once in the depths of labor, you really DO.NOT.CARE what you are or aren't wearing, or who is present. Modesty is secondary (or thirdary) to the pain. Good luck!

Amalah

Amy H - I didn't take a single blessed childbirth class, and for that, I am supremely grateful.

So heh. You can't blame me for the video, as I am blissfully innocent.

Kim

My youngest son's hair was like this, now he has lots of thick beautiful hair. Of course he is four now. LOL

He's a cutie! Looks like you are really enjoying being at home.

Becci

Very cute. An Aprihawk!

Anything fun planned for Mother's Day yet?

princessr9

Just wait. My son is six, sporting a mohawk and is covered in SpongeBob tattoos. It only goes down hill after the apricot induced mohawk. Next he'll be rolling his eyes and telling you "whatever".

Catherine

My son was a golden blond baby, he looked EXACTLY like the Gerber Baby. I have pictures, I can prove it. People would stop me in stores to comment. At 25 he looks a whole lot like Orlando Bloom. (My paternal genes won, he's a ringer for my uncle.) TOTALLY different coloring than he had as a baby. (Oh, and he spent his late teens/early 20s with shoulder-length wild curls, so you could still get your wild long-haired child.) His sister had fine stick-straight blonde hair until she hit mid-elementary school, now she has thick, wavy brown hair. Baby/Kid hair is adorable, but boy, can it change. It's so exciting - how will that redheaded kid turn out? We'll all stay tuned.

Aly

Dear Amy,

There is still much time for Noah to grow into the Mohawk stage.

I've seen what happens after Kindergarten.. perfectly groomed little boy hair, turns to scraggy messy "Mum, I want it LONG" in no time. Trust me. ;)

And hey. Apricots be cheaper than surfboard wax. And smell a whole lot better too.

-Aly

BabelBabe

so so cute.

Terzo prefers banana however.
He says it darkens, also.

Jessica

Okay -- I went back and read your post about curly hair on your advice blog, and I have to tell you, I had NO IDEA about the wrapping the hair around the barrel of the curling iron without opening the thingy. I am SO EXCITED to try this! We have very similar hair, and I'm hoping for comparable results! (I am quite sure, however, that the first time I attempt this wrapping of the hair around a super hot appliance I will end up with a third degree burn on one of my fingers. But you know what? Cute hair trumps a third degree burn! Hee!)

Jamie

Hair or no hair, he's a cutie! If it makes you feel any better, I have two girls with hair to fix and my oldest won't let me TOUCH hers. I think it's a 3-year-old control thing, though. I'm just dying to put bows and other girly appendages in her hair. Sigh...

Sarah

Yeah well, having a girl is no guarantee. My 15 month old darling (a much coveted female baby after twin male babies) is balder than a bald cap. I have to do the stick-on bow thing. Actually, I went so crazy with them, that I started selling them on ebay and now many little bald baby girls (at least I assume they're girls) across America have their heads decorated by yours truly also. :) Think I took it a little too far? lol

I like that little ridge? point? your son's hair does on top... it's adorable!

warcrygirl

I totally gave my 6 year old a mohawk for Spirit and Pride day at his school. I also spray painted it gold. I was bald until I was 18 months old so my mom had to be satisfied with sticking bows on my head with tape.

I kid you not.

Leah

Chloe is FINALLY getting some hair. Soon you'll be pulling gum and god knows what else out of his, so hang on to the bald while you can! :)

jomama

Happy 1st mother's day!!!

Starbuck

I second that, Happy Mother's Day, Amy!!

Maggie

Happy Mother's Day!

cate

Happy Mother's Day to you! xoxo

kate

happy mother's day amy! noah is a very lucky little guy!

Jules

I hope you had a very Happy Mother's Day!

I love the hair :)

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