Preshus Parenting Moment #7852
May 22, 2006
Being out at brunch with an impeccably-behaved Noah, sipping on a delicious wild berry mojito and holding Jason's hand across the table as we gazed and beamed at the perfect golden child we produced, through the power of our love and DNA and maybe a little drunken sex, right as Noah took a grunting, red-faced and flatulent poop while the woman at the next table desperately tried not to laugh at us.
(Jason changed the diaper. It took 20 minutes. I drank his mojito while he was gone.)
Sounds like a triple-wiper!
Ha! That's great! One to share with his girlfriend one day.
aww! get Hallmark on the horn, stat!
20 minutes! Was a change of clothing necessary?
A parenting moment to live for. :-)
Hee. My husband and I were at the library with our three-month-old daughter over the weekend. She decided the library (you know, the place where they keep the quiet) was a good spot to have a giant, grunting, red-faced poo of her own. The best part? A librarian asked my husband if everything was okay-- she thought it was my husband making all the noise! She didn't believe that such sounds could come from our sweet baby girl. Poor Jay.
Sounds totally fair. That mojito would've gotten stale... um, warm, or something if you hadn't helped him out.
Sometimes I think that they plan their poops for maximum embarassment.
So, how much did you pay Noah to do that just so you could drink Jason's mojito?
Question: Did you verify the poop by lifting the kid up and giving his butt a sniff or was the eau-de-bowel movement copiously apparent?
Um, how in the hell did you get Jason to change the diaper? Offer more drunken sex? what what what?
It could never be as foul as the grunting, red-faced and flatulent poop produced by *my* son. Of course he's sixteen.
Heh. Heh.
i don't know what's worse: a grunting, red-faced flatulent baby in public or a record breaking performance when you're alone with the baby and there's NO ONE ELSE THERE to witness the hilarity!
Just wait til he's old enough to embarass you by SAYING something in public for EVERYONE to hear. Hmmm. Such as (in the bathroom at the airport)"I see your pee-pee!" My oldest daughter has said sooo many things that have made me cringe. My youngest has yet to do so......
Hee! That's almost a Mastercard commercial, but it's ALL priceless. Except the mojitos, thank god you can put an obtainable price on the mojitos. Where are these wild berry mojitos, though? Please share...mmm!
Great Monday morning laugh! Had I been the woman at the next table, I would have been unsuccessful at censoring the chuckles.
Ah, from such moments are fond memories made -- and stories with which to entertain his future girlfriends.
Ah, babies are so innocent. Or devious, depending on what you want to believe.
Jason is totally a keeper.
Wait until you're in a public bathroom, with Noah corralled in there for safety, and he bellows, "MOMMY! WHERE IS YOUR PENIS?!"
It has happened to me. And since I still have a pre-verbal toddler, I fully expect it to happen again at some point.
Exactly as it should be and totally fair, in my opinion. Next time, HE can deliver the baby and YOU can change it's poopy diapers!
(Triple Berry? Damn girl...my mouth is watering more than my poor, teething baby's)
:-)
I thought my kid had the worst red-faced poop story, with it happening on the altar, at church, during his christening.
Nope, sounds like you got me beat, hands (and Mojitos) down.
Hahahahahahaha!!
Too funny. Kids have great timing, no?
I want you to know that I'm only laughing this hard because I've been there.
And dittto to the bathroom adventures of older kids. I've ben applauded in a public (and FULL I might add) bathroom for my Mad Peeing Skillz by my oldest back when we were doing the potty thing. And most recently she loudly announced, "I LIKE YOUR BUM, MOMMY - IT'S FUNNY!" really loudly in a very echo-y bathroom at the eye doctor. Judging by the smirks when we came out, her voice carried. Probably clear across the country.
I can FEEEEEEL the love.
Especially during the mojito part.
The most romantic part is where your husband changed the diaper.
*swoon*
My 2-1/2 month old daughter is particularly adept at producing loud, flatulent poops during church services. At least it's good for humility!
So it isn't just my husband (also a Jason) that takes 20 minutes to change a diaper.
don't you just love the universal red-faced 'poop' expression babies have? it's like their non-verbal way of saying 'Mommy, time to get that diaper out! We have a stinker!'.
I once did the same thing when I was about one, but in the grocery store. My mom won't ever let me forget it either.
Ahhh! Good times!
We had a very similar experienceat a sushi restaurant except the boy also peed on me as I was changing the diaper. Fun times.
Allie
Brunch: $18
Wild Berry Mojito: $10
Baby who lets loose with red-faced flatulent baby poo in public: Priceless.
; )
Way to score on the mojito!!
Poop. Hee-Hee! Poopy.
Why is that subject always a winner when you are talking about babies? It's funny when it's about babies! But I don't want to hear about poop when it comes to an adult's bowels. It's as if baby poop is "cute" or something. But it's not cute-- because my 1 year old girl has some man-sized STANKERS! But you take one look at her and, somehow, her poop is a funny subject. Hmmph, go figure!
POOP IS FUNNY!
Unattended alcohol is fair game in my boat... and great job paying off the kid to distract him as well. ;-)
Awesome, there's nothing like a Power Poop in public!
Hilarious.. i think they do plan it! And the mojito... good snag! Nice!
I so needed to laugh this hard today...poop trumps romance!
How has it never occurred to me to order a mojito at brunch??
Hahahaha, at least you got an extra mojito out of the deal!
Forget poop. Who makes wild berry mojitos? Those sound great.
Love it. Only recently have we started to bicker over who changes the poopy diaper. Up until this point, he would call dibs. As if it were FUN for him.
Is it 5pm yet? Can I go get a drink? The mere mention of mojitos...
20 minutes? Wow, my son has nothing like that. I am not sure I want him to grow up and produce that kind of poop.
(but Jason rules for cleaning it up. And you rule even more for taking over his beverage!)
Our oldest let fly with an audible diaper filling at a very quiet moment in church. Her dad made a bit more of a show of getting up and leaving with her to change her than was really necessary. He wanted to make sure everyone knew it was HER and not HIM.
Babies have unbelievable timing.
You never fail to crack me up! You couldn't make that stuff up!
Ha, Hhahaha! That's a good one. Damn I have never had a mojito. I've always wanted to try one.
You know you're a little *too* involved in your kids when moments like that make you feel no embarrassment whatsoever. When it happens to my kids I'm more embarrassed about my lack of shame on their behalf. Maybe I secretly wish I could be a public pooper.
I've never had a mojito, but maybe I'll start with a wild berry one sometime this summer.
Noah gives you such great stories. And the best part is, you can tell them all over again when he's old enough to be embarassed by them.
Dear Amy,
Cheers. ;)
Love, Aly.
OMGs kids do have a way of throwing a monkey wrench in those romantic moments
we always figured it was their way of ensuring their place as "king" or "queen" for a while longer
No photo of Noah smiling like an angel after doing the red-faced thing? :(
Why is it always at meal times? lol
I have to tell you, Amy -- I never had any kids, but your accounts of life with Jason and Noah are absolutely hilarious. Keep those baby pictures coming, too. That kid is cute!
Behold, the Wild Berry Mojito!!
http://www.fineliving.com/fine/favorite_things/article/0,1663,FINE_1425_3751643,00.html
mmmmmmmojito
mmmmmmmm
20 Minutes?? It must have really been a doozy! I hope he washed his hands afterwards. lol