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May 2006
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July 2006

Pool Boy

Still have not made a final decision about the nanny. Still have not even started to write an entry about the nanny. Decided to go to the pool instead. Here. Have some thighs. Does that make up for it? No? Then how about some delicious beefcake? We had a wonderful time. Noah adored everything about everything -- the water! the big kids! the community toys! -- and I forced myself and my HIGHLY DESIRABLE FRIENDSHIP on another mother with a boy Noah's age and then tried to poach some poor defenseless babysitter who was totally having none of it and... Read more →

Money For Nothing and Your Links For Free

1. The Wednesday! Advice! Smackdown! 2. Speaking of the Smackdown, did you know that our own Intrepid Amalah Commenter and Friend of the Smackdown Real Girl has a book? An absolutely fabulous and delightful book? A book that you can buy from various reputable purveyors of books and book-like substances? She does! And you can! 3. Speaking of nothing-related-to-this-at-all, but as I mentioned over at the blog about blogs where I say the word blog a lot, I have been busy this week interviewing NANNIES. Nannies who will occasionally come to my house and look after my preshus baby so... Read more →

Weekend Report: I Got Drunk & Accosted Ted Allen

So this weekend we continued our pattern of pawning off our young on the sober and attended the DC International Wine & Food Festival, which was very much about the wine, not so much about the food, although there was an entire table devoted to Irish butter, and I have never been so proud of my Irish heritage, because that shit was DELICIOUS. I am proud to say my wine snobbery has come a long way, as I was able to say shit like, "Hmm, I taste peach with a hint of earth, however, there's entirely too much alcohol on... Read more →

My Own Private Paparazzo

After noting Noah's affection for the remote control, we took the batteries out of a couple remotes we never use anymore (aside: what, do these things BREED or something? is the "Sanyo" remote the bastard lovechild of the Sony and Panasonic remotes? because we don't OWN anything by Sanyo. remotes! cease with your fornicating!) and gave them to Noah to play with. We thought this was terribly clever of us. This morning, Noah was chowing down on what I thought was one of the battery-less remotes until suddenly, the sounds of Dan Zanes' Catch That Train! (best kids-ish CD EVER,... Read more →

I Love New York, Mostly

One week ago today, I was in New York with my sister and my 11-week-old nephew Nicky. And I convinced her to take me and the two babies shopping in Soho. I know. I should probably go to jail or something. I am a threat to all of decent society. "I took Noah out all the time at Nicky's age!" I told her, clearly hallucinating about SOMEONE ELSE'S MATERNITY LEAVE, because unless Jason was around to carry the stroller and the diaper bag and...I don't know, a spare rubber band for my hair, while I staggered sloooowly behind, clutching my... Read more →

Weekend Report: I Got Drunk & Fell Down a Hill

Specifically, this hill: "SHUT UP. IT'S DECEPTIVELY SLOPEY." And specifically, I was this drunk: No. Really. Look at how cleverly ironic I thought I was: "Klassy! With a C! Or a K. I don't know. Whatever the fuck." We were at this vineyard: "Look! We're on the label! It's the Mythical Three Drunk Girls!" Please note the variety of spit receptacles available to us. We did not use them once, but lo, they were festive. This was my wound. From the hill. That I fell down. "Pour some wine on it!" I would write more, but I am too busy... Read more →

I have no need for anger with intimate strangers

I really can't write the entry y'all want me to write about the reunion. There are a million reasons: I have no anonymity among my classmates. My email address is listed in the alumni directory. I have to assume everything I write will get back to pretty much everybody. But more than any of that, who the fuck do I think I am to judge anybody there? That's not to say that I didn't judge the hell out of everybody. I glanced through the directory and snickered at how so few of us ventured beyond the Bucks County cornfields.... Read more →

Live! From New York!

It's me! Redefining the phrase "OMFG!" So there I was, in a conference room at ClubMom, with my back to the door, yakking about blogs and bloggers and blawwwgs and out-of-the-box synergistic capstones, and when I finished talking I realized everyone was staring at me. So I thought, "I have enraptured them! I will KEEP TALKING." So I did, and then I kind of realized that they were actually staring at a point just behind my head. I turned around and BWAH. Andrew Shue was right there. I SHRIEKED, people. And it was not a cool shriek. It was a... Read more →

Further Correspondence, Perhaps Actual this Time

Actual email that I sent to pretty much every person on the planet yesterday: From: Amalah Subject: omfg andrew! Andrew Shue likes my blawwwwwwwwwwwg! Actual email I received regarding this Saturday's reunion: From: Person who was apparently our class president, although I don't remember voting Subject: Reminder! Class of 96! Reunion this Saturday! 6:30 pm! Attire: Casual - What you feel comfortable in - no fancy dresses or ties. *shakes fist* *twice* But...what if I AM comfortable in fancy dresses? What if my husband looks particularly hot and out-of-my-league in a tie? Bah. So after the reunion on Saturday,... Read more →