Did you know beans fit into a healthy lifestyle?
I did, because the large can of Pork & Beans told me so.
This statement was later corroborated by three other cans.
In fact, you can make beans an even more important part of an even more healthy lifestyle by adding onion (vegetable), ketchup (also a vegetable), mustard (yellow is the new superfood), maple syrup (part of a balanced breakfast) and lemon juice (totally counts as fruit).
Feel free to balance out all that crazy healthiness with some brown sugar. Go on. You deserve it.
Lots and lots of bacon.
Heat oven to 350F and bake the shit out that bizzitch for an hour or so.
Then, in an effort to promote healthy serving sizes, take beans to picnic but leave serving utensils at home, forcing picnic-goers to use twee little plastic spoons to partake of the beany goodness.
Congratulations! You are an idiot.
Luckily, you are also delicious and do not require a spoon.
(Full set of picnic photos and other assorted weekend lameness up at Flickr. Like you care.)