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Weekend Report: I Got Drunk & Fell Down a Hill

Specifically, this hill:



And specifically, I was this drunk:


No. Really. Look at how cleverly ironic I thought I was:


"Klassy! With a C! Or a K. I don't know. Whatever the fuck."

We were at this vineyard:


"Look! We're on the label! It's the Mythical Three Drunk Girls!"


Please note the variety of spit receptacles available to us. We did not use them once, but lo, they were festive.

This was my wound. From the hill. That I fell down.


"Pour some wine on it!"


I would write more, but I am too busy attempting to edit a financial newsletter which needed to go to print about 20 minutes ago, but as it turns out, a contoured changing pad actually DOESN'T make the greatest home office workspace, because even if your clients can't smell the Diaper Genie, YOU TOTALLY CAN.


Please don't ask.

(I really, truly am no longer drunk, I swear.)



I say that was definitely Klassy with a K.


I have a similar wound, from a run in with a bitch of a picnic table that attacked me.

I don't even have the excuse that I was drunk. Though, I'll probably start saying I was, because I'd rather be known as a lush than as a clumsy dork.

I hope your boo-boo feels all better soon!


Sounds like a good time was had by all. For sure.


Yeah, I never saw any purpose to the spit recaptacles either. Sorry for your fall. But if I had been there, I totally would have lost it laughing at you.

Looks like you had a fun time, though!


Holy shit! I was first!

Why the hell do I get so excited about that?


And also? You are totally rocking the long shorts, which make me look like I'm about two feet tall. Yes. I am jealous.


First, by 4 seconds! WOOT.

I'll shut up now.

(Maybe I am drunk as well?)


For a second, I couldn't figure out why all your friends were still wearing those yellow Livestrong bracelets. I mean, if the people in Wisconsin have figured out that those things are over, your clearly amazingly stylish and clever friends must know.

But they're tags from the winery or something liek that, right? (Please?)


Look, I'm drunk and can't spell, too!


If wine doesn't work for wounds, I've heard Windex does. Oh...wait...that's in a movie and probably not real. Does the changing pad come with a chair for sitting down? Because, otherwise, the inconvenience of standing up, along with the smell, would make me not so productive. And dizzy.


What's with the beads??


Spitting is for wimps. Falling down is for tough chicks who know how to have a good time.

Kisses to your boo-boo.

Lisa V

I've never heard of the amazing healing powers of wine, except with a broken heart, and windex would sting no matter what that over-rated Greek movie said. Go for urine. That's what they would do on Survivor.

Y from the internet

We're going to be so much fun whilst drunk at blogher! Seriously, I'll be on the floor doing doing the worm, exposing various body parts. You'll be falling down, cutting yourself, bleeding on people.

I can't wait!!!!


Oh Amy with a 'y'. You are klassy with a 'k'.

I fear for your safety at Blogher. You know there are STAIRS and also ELEVATOR SHAFTS.


Yeah, falling down a hill is never good, no matter how drunk you are. But it is proportionately funny to how drunk you are. So I'm assuming you all thought it was pretty funny.

Well, at least I laughed (after you assured us you were okay, of course).

Heather B.

And sadly there is no picture of your ass covered in chocolate covered espresso bean.

(wait, was I not supposed to share that?)

Nothing But Bonfires

You are totally pulling off the City Shorts.

Wait, I didn't mean you were TAKING them off..... that sounded a bit weird. I mean you are carrying the look. And please don't ever call them City Shorts. Or remind me that I just did.


Hey, listen -- you might edit on a contoured changing pad, but I know you would NEVER pull a Britney and change your child's diaper on the floor of a store someplace, then ask the poor store clerk to dispose of it. Hard to anyone who has less class than that.

Glad you had a good time at the reunion and at the winery.


Ok so what is the big deal about Britney changing her baby on the store floor? Other than the store floor being dirty, maybe she would rather do that than run him into the bathroom where there quite possibly isn't a koala chaning table deal, I mean REALLY BBIIIGG DEALL!!!!



Your poor owwie - did you use a can of Diet Coke for it, aka Noah?

Looked like you had a nice stressfree weekend, or at least, drunken romp down a hill. Those are good times!



I have a huge scar from GETTING INTO MY CAR!!!!

Klassy with a "k" for sure!


I think all of that behavior is just *required* at a vineyard, no matter how classy they claim to be. I live some version of that nearly every time I visit one. Perfect.



What type of laptop do you use?


Irony Queen

I'm LOVING the City Shorts! I own several myself.

Also loving that you're back to posting about drinking wine and falling down! I miss those days! (Which is not to say that I don't love the Noah stuff, too, just...you know.)


That vineyard is totally hilly. They give you lots of wine and then 'spect you to walk (??) back to your car. ha. I sympathize totally. But Breaux is awesome!


But you fell very graciously, didn't you? :)
And at least you weren't wearing a skirt!


You know what is so strange is that a) I was staying at a vineyard this weekend and b) I fell down a slope too! But mine was in the dark and I tumbled off the patio of the outdoor washroom in the pitch black, into the garden of sharp grasses and landed face (& hands and knees) first in the gravel driveway.
I have wounds also, but they were made better by tequila (internally administered)


I love it! Especially your pose in the group photo! You crack me up!


Amalah - let me make you feel better - I fell down drunk on the weekend, only I faceplanted, grazed my face, and chipped a tooth - hows that for Klassy eh?


Ahhhh, but did you spill the drink?

I got drunk and fell down a hill once. Barefood, in a pale yellow bridesmaid's dress, none the less. I was actually so drunk that I thought it was a great idea to go to the bride and exclaim "these bm's dresses are awesome! I fell down the hill and didn't even stain my dress!"

You should have seen the look on her face. Good thing we're family.


I tried to get drunk this weekend for the first time since being pregnant--sadly, I just fell asleep


Right, so I never comment on anyone's blog because they make you register and such, but HEY! you don't. Hooray!

The real point of commenting is not to tell you that I can, but rather that I really really love your blog. I'm trying to hold back on reading all your archives in one long sitting because once they're gone. . .they're gone. And then I'll have to go back to searching for new blogs.

Motherhood Uncensored

How in the hell did your cute white shorts remain unscathed? That is talent, my friend.


I like how coupley the group shot is - only, I'm confused by the threesome on the left. :)

Didn't you know, falling down is a sign of a successful outing?

a Random Person

If it helps, I, too, have fallen down a hill, recently (today).

Except... I wasn't drunk. I blame new shoes.

But I think the hill was very slopey and quite dangerous. That I am the person who fell down a hill not drunk (but it was STEEP! and my SHOES! they were NEW!) shouldn't effect the weight of my opinion at all.


I felt drunk just reading this.


Known worldwide for fine wine.


ya'll look like Charlie's Angels in that photo. (You're Jill.)

Bozoette Mary

After all, wine IS antiseptic!


Yeah, what IS up with the beads? Did you flash a vintner to get them?

Allison Malady

I like the beads!


Klassy? Amy, do you UB?!

Sarah Louise

I've had "Pour some wine on it!" moments with the corner of a glass coffee table...covered in empty beer cans. Ow.

"Alcohol is an antispepticmic..antiseptichtic...how do you say that?..."

Matt in London

I want to know what that Bud beer is that you are holding...never seen it before... Am hoping it's stronger than the usual p*ss that they serve??

The spit buckets are just for show...never known anyone to use them, but they add a touch of 'class' simply by being there don't they?


People, people, they are not "spit buckets!" They are "crachoirs." Doesn't it sound MUCH klassier in French? Ptui!


I already can guess because I've done the same thing: The nursery is the closest room to being "child-proofed" so you can turn your back for a second while Noah plays without having to worry about him chewing on electrical cords or cracking his head on pointy tables.

At least, thats how I end up with my laptop on the changing table.


I may need to get a contoured changing cushion for my desk.


Getting drunk every once in a while is a good thing!!! Looks like you had fun!!

Her Bad Mother

To the rhythm of Jack and Jill:

Am'lah so chill
Went up the hill
Drinking wine but not water
Am'lah fell down
But blogged it - wow!
And I bust my gut with laughter.


I though Miller High Life was the champagne of beers. *That* would have been Xtra Klassy!


Amy -- I am proud of you for attending your reunion. And having the courage to write about your high school experience. I'm glad you survived and realize you are better off!


Also, who is the poor guy that didn't have a durnk girl hanging on him? He looks lonely!


Did one of the other drunk girls push you down the hill? Some people get violent when they drink.


Hey Matt In London-

How is American beer like having sex in a canoe?



I love me the Monty Python as well.

Matt in London? Well?

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