July 13, 2006
Stupid TypePad was down for most of the day yesterday, leaving me unable to post or even to comment that I couldn't post. Trust me, I was just as sick of that nanny entry as you were. Oh, she has a nahhhhny now, a nahhhny for her one whole child, ain't life just grahhhhnd for her, the stupid spoiled whore.
(No, I don't know why I imagine y'all with bad British accents either, but I kind of do.)
(You are also prone to pinching imaginary monocles when you talk.)
Hi. Yeah, I may still be drunk. Because I was last night, obviously, because when I woke up this morning I found the following typed up in a Word document:
TypePad hass been down for hours an hours an OUR. ERS. now. Want to write a durnk post about about Soyouthinkyoucan (beat) DANCE! Boom chicka wow! Exspecially about what's her name the judge with the face that DOESN'T MOVE and you can ALWAYS SEE HER BOTTOM TEETH and when she tallks it's like her actual vocal cords are the ONLY thing not Botoxed all to hell. Can you imagine being known as the middle judge on a Simon Cowell produced show that makes Paula Abdul seem totally grounded and sober? Duddes.
Hmm. On second thought, maybe it was a good thing that TypePad was down.
Although you also missed out on the THRILLING news that Noah has an ear infection -- ear infection number two, and I can't even blame daycare this time. I will blame the pool. Or his crappy ear-related genetics. Or maybe I will rock it old school and blame my boobs.
However, Noah's infection is a pretty mild one, so we're skipping the antibiotics (thankGodthankGodthankGod) and and hoping he'll fight it on his own (pleaseGodpleaseGodpleaseGod), with some help from Motrin and Hyland's earache tablets.
And whiskey, of course. Which is how I came to be documenting my deep thoughts about Mary Murphy's teeth.
Oh my God. Ear infections are boring. This entry is boring! Why am I still typing ? I am boring!
QUICK! CUT TO THE PHOTO ESSAY.
TODAY'S THEME: "DOOMED"
Various, sundry plotting.
10 whole seconds later.
Deadly, dangerous levels of cute.