Packing Diary IV: Live on Ice
Dispatches From the Wee Small Hours of the Morning

Das Boot

Or, From the Department of Yes. Yes! This Right Here is Totally What I Need Right Now

We interrupt (okay, "mercifully kill") today's liveblogging spectacular (okay, "spectacularly boring") with some breaking news:

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Son of a bitch.

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No, seriously. This is so totally awesome of you, District of Columbia.

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Okay, yes. We probably deserve it. In fact, it's probably a bit of a goddamned miracle that we've never been booted before, but...but...

*looks down, kicks a rock and mutters some profanities*

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to have a margarita or four and really get this packing party started, and by "started" you know I mean "shot straight to hell, ensuring that I will arrive in California with a suitcase full of sweaters, ugly shoes and diamanté pasties."

Comments

Rachel

Damn, those kind of boots are no fun at all. If only they made one in a bright orange, metal stiletto...

Colleen

Man, that sucks!!!

Sadie

wow, what's a girl got to do to get one of those? I bet it's something real naughty-like.

Erica

Just drive on it like good ol' Homer Simpson did!

HollowSquirrel

suck city, sistah.
I hope to Hasselhoff that you are drinking a margarita by now.

pumpmom

Um, what does a person need to do to get one of THOSE THINGS?

anne nahm

Nice Smurf-mobile

:^) Anne

Brian

Those boots are made for walkin'. (Because now you can't drive.)

Sucks.

Erica

Oh, and who knew pasties were going for $14 a pair? I guess theys them fancy ones with the diamante and all.

Sarah Louise

I breifly mention DC in my post...breifly. But still! You live there! I went there..once.

Kate

Parking tickets, I'm guessing?

slyeyes

So it's been booted for parking illegally --- and has a sign in it "Do not move"??

Julianna

I once watched a guy in a parkinglot at my undergrad college take OFF the boot with his own tools, and then leave it in his space as he drove away. Tempting.

sweetney

fyi, i'm bringing ONE pair of flip-flops, tshirts and jeans (give or take). so you need to quit this prada shoe talk PRONTO.

JustLinda

I blogged about a vehicle fiasco too. I'm depressed and want to drink many many pina coladas with someone who will make me forget that my engine died with no oil - NO OIL - and now I have to sell a child in order to repair it.

Damn cars. They're almost as much trouble as the damn children are.

If only I could run away to BlogHer.

Kate

One of my friends at college actually took one of those boots off with his bare hands because he had to get somewhere. University security was less than pleased and I do believe he got a double fine for the boot AND destruction of property.

DC parking authorities do suck...maybe they should spend their time doing more important things, like, oh, fighting crime...

Sue

The suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Jaime

Poor Amy...

s@bd

sucketh.
large.

Y from the internet

Dude. I think you need a hot cup of hoffee.

(THaaaaaats what you meant by a "boot" on your car.)

Rocky

Bastages! I lived in DC for 2 years and although I did not have a car (I lived at Ft. Myer) they booted enough of my friend's cars to piss me off. We'd go trolling downtown to some of the seedier goth clubs, walking past obvious drug dealers, the neverending homeless family reunion, and once? once? a dead guy...and all they can do is boot cars?

Someone has to pay for the ex-Mayor's crack habit.

Wacky Mommy

Great timing, boot-installing a-holes. Move to Portland, Ore., where we have no boots, just Birks. "But, it would be, like, rilly cool if you would pay your parking tickets? Cool!" (They do tow, though.)

Heather B.

Duuuuuude. My worst fear realized. Seriously.
Your first drink (or four) on me.

Chris

Ouch. Ouch twice.

Annie

Just had to comment because, hee hee, everytime I see a booted car I say - "das boot!" So when I saw the pic I said it, and lo and behold, you and your title read my thought!

Katie

I agree with Annie...Love the das boot title. Very catchy!

Hot Wife

Don't pack sweaters! It is hotter than hell here, at least in Southern Cal.

Starbuck

The only boots around here are cowboy boots. But tickets are plentiful. That's because in an effort to boost local economy, all downtown parking is 2 hours. The only parking lots are grocery stores and if you go to a day spa or salon for anything more than a quick wash and trim you will get ticketed. Because that boosts the local tax income.

Mona

Why do they have to make those boots bright mutant orange? I'd be pissed off the whole time walking to my car after spotting that behemoth in the distance.

Jen Jen

It really is f-ing hot here!

Sucks about the car. You'll forget your worries while you are here.

Aly

*pets*

Once again, no words.

You're so busy, that I'M starting to feel panicky!

-Aly

jomama

Damn! That sucks ass. I hope you didn't collapse in the street and curse and cry, because that's what I would've done. Good thing you have this mini vacation to get your mind off of it.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a dream with you in it last night. You were in the audience at this horrible Christmas play that I was in. Afterwards, we were talking and you had this short, wacky hair cut (while in the audience, your hair was normal). You were really soft spoken and sweet and you and your husband invited me to a party that night. We were in Maryland, but after driving for an hour or two, I ended up on a one way road to Mexico and I had no idea how to turn around and I was completely lost. The End.

Jenny

That totally sucks. Was it at least for something good - like unpaid tickets for taking up 3 handicap parking spots at a time?

Megan

Damn, what a pain in the ASS. Das boot, indeed.

dawn

I don't dare ask why you got the boot. But if you're moving to Virginia, just know that they will tow you for anything. And I mean anything. It's always nice to wake up, drag your ass out knowing you're late for work, and not see your car anywhere. Especially when you know you forgot to pay the car payment and you also have no short-term memory and wander the zip code because maybe you did park two streets over. *shakes fist at Dominion Towing, which trolls the streets at night for fun*

Tara

Motherfuckers.

Sorry you got the boot. I am hoping this is something you can resolve before you have to leave to get on the plane? Where, given your luck, there are likely to be snakes?

CroutonBoy

I never understood the boot. If the car is violating something, you can't very well do much about it with a giant bear trap latched onto the wheel. DC sucks. At least the cops and the parking rules do...

Janel

Major suck. At least they didn't take it to the pound...they do that in New York.

Andrea

Suckitude! But this doesn't mean your not going to BlogHer, right? You're still going, right? Because I have to live vicariously through you.

Black Belt Mama

The real thing that sucks is how much it's probably going to cost to get it removed. How far in the hole are you?

And as a light at the end of the tunnel: just think, there are no boots in VA, at least not in the suburbs.

sardogwill

I have a cutting torch, and I'm not afraid to use it. Just saying.

fellowmom

So, so sorry about the boot. There's never a good time for that, but right before you're leaving town? really sucks. Also, found the liveblogging truly spectacular, as advertised. Kept me amused at work, at least.

Larah4u

Just floating thru...we don't have those in CA..are those for parking somewhere you shouldn't have? What do you have to do to get it off (the legal way)

OMG that sucks anyhoo.....good luck :)

Kirsten

Ok, so that just totally and completely sucks. They boot cars in my hometown as well, but not here in smalltown KS. Not that it matters. My vehicle got reposessed last week.

Liza

When I lived on 3rd & Q, I once got booted Tuesday afternoon and towed Wednesday before 8:30 am. In spite of the fact that right around the corner on P, a car had been sitting booted for 5 months. It took all of my money and more patience than I have ever had to find my car and get it back again.

I hope that doesn't happen to you.

abogada

Wow. How many parking tickets does it take to get a boot?

bad penguin

Oh, that sucks! Stupid parking police.

Ursula

Long, long ago in a place called D.C., people were allowed to park on the street no matter the color of their license plate or their job title.

D.C. has changed, people. Changed in the Wrong Way. And I get a "temporary permit" every two weeks. Except I still get tickets. Why? Yeah, no f'ing idea. I think it is because the throw-backs the government hires as ticketers are too LAZY TO LOOK ON MY DASHBOARD. Because that would require the enormous task OF LOOKING THROUGH CLEAR GLASS. I developed this hypothesis when I noticed I would get more tickets when I parked with the driver's side flush to the curb.

My spreadsheet of tickets weeps when I open it. Weep with it my friends, for we live in an unjust world.

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