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June 2006
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August 2006

The Nanny Bloggeries

Well, I officially have a nanny. Me! Next I shall get a butler, or perhaps a stable boy, and then I can finally put my feet up, make some spa appointments and lament how terribly stressful managing one's domestic staff can be and honestly, if one more chambermaid gets knocked up by the gardener I may have to huff some opium and lie down, my heavens. I actually placed an ad for a part-time "babysitter," but everyone who replied called herself a "nanny." And since I have personally seen what happens when some old businessman calls his administrative assistant a "secretary," I am going with "nanny." (Also because I am beyond obsessive re: semantics, like this one time? We took my brother and his family out for dinner here in D.C., and they kept talking about their trip to the "Indian museum," which was really the Native American museum, which, okay, but we were at AN INDIAN RESTAURANT, where one would THINK the distinction would be at its most obvious, and aaaahhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee.) ANYWAY. I now have a nanny three afternoons a week. The constant white-noise buzz of rising anxiety that I've had humming in my ears for the past two... Read more →

Let's Go to the Zoo. Let's Go Right Now!

Amy: The fuckin' zoo sucks, dude. That Weird Kid From Jerry Maguire: YOU SAID FUCK! Amy: Fuck yes I did, fucker. Anyway. Hi. We went to the zoo today. Why did we go to the zoo today? I DON'T KNOW. It sounded like a good idea at the time, which was while Jason (who took an impromptu day off, or maybe he got fired, I do not know nor do I care, all I know is he woke up this morning and vacuumed the house) and I lingered over a lunch of wine and stinky cheeses, gazing at our angelic sleeping child. The zoo (which was just a few blocks away) definitely seemed like a good idea right then. Jason: Noah loves animals! He'll love the zoo! Amy: (thinking) Noah loves animals on the TV, just like he loves anything that's on the TV, including commercials for erectile dysfunction aids and So You Think You Can Dance. Amy: (out loud) That's a great idea! Yes, let's go to the zoo. So we went, and for several hours we wandered around the heavily-under-construction-completely-all-fucked-up National Zoo. Because it's the law, and because we love America, we went to see the pandas first.... Read more →

Oh Hell, Please Don't Make Me Write Sentences Yet

Because I cannot DEAL with writing sentences yet. With the verbs and subjects and participles and shit. I may no longer be at the beach, but in my mind, I am still on vacation. Except for the housework and the Advice Smackdown and the Clubbing of Moms and the full-time job of keeping Noah from sucking on various household items, from the dog food to the mail to the business end of a USB cable. Yes. Other than all of that I am still totally on vacation. (At just barely nine months old, he's standing unassisted now. UN. ASS. ISTED. I could pretty much die from the pride/horror/sunrise/sunset-ness of it all.) Anyway. Here are photos from the beach. (More will be over at Flickr in a bit.) (Except for the ones Jason took of me walking away from our blanket and down to the water. Those photos are going to be destroyed, right after I stop crying about them and finish this pint of ice cream.) Noah, sampling the regional delicacy. Eh. Gritty. More sand eating. Tracey told me to prepare for Noah eating a lot of sand, and while I laughed and pretended to be all down with the... Read more →

Gone Beachin'

I kind of forgot to mention that we were going away for a few days. So um...guess what! We are away. At the beach. With this lunatic. Whee! Mina & Noah: A Portrait in Mutual Baffled Fascination Noah loves the Big Kids more than life itself, the Big Kids enjoy tickling the Baby (Mina, for the Three Hundredth Million Time: HI BABY! BABY, WHAT IS YOUR NAME BABY? BABY!) and the Very Big Kids enjoy chocolate donuts and tequila for breakfast. Life is good. So very, very good. Read more →