The Kind of Thing I Should Probably Keep to Myself


Gah! The cursor! It blinks! The page! It is very white and blank!

Lately I have been suffering from the deadly combination of Writer's Block + Unbelievable Laziness. I have topics all picked out and lined up neatly in my brain (Things We Have To Fix Before We Can Move, or the Ballad of the Sort-of-Broken Toilet; Adventures in Homemade Baby Food That I Made, At Home, and the Various Manners In Which It Was Rejected; and finally My Dog: Do You Want Her?) and then I go to write about them and...and...huh.

I wonder what is on TV? (HINT: PROJECT RUNWAY.)

I wonder if I could beat my top score in Hexic? (HINT: I RULE! PWNED!)

I wonder if I could take a nap? (HINT: YES.)

And I wonder if I could mightily abuse the whole work-related purpose of having a part-time babysitter by spending all of Friday afternoon getting my hair cut and colored, which combined with babysitting costs meant the whole afternoon cost a bloody fucking FORTUNE, despite being just one  day after I learned that my highest-paying freelancing gig is gone, over and done with, andwhile I don't mind the "less work" part, I was shocked to hear that they will no longer be sending me checks. Checks of money! No more! That hardly seems fair at all.

(Oh right. I was supposed to end that one with a question mark and an all-caps HINT. Um. HINT: MY ASS IS BROKE, BUT MY HAIR NO LONGER MAKES ME CRY.)

So I end up not writing anything at all, beyond my cheerful sunshiney and contractually obligated blather over at the ClubMom blog, where I have to say things like "bullcrap" instead of "horseshit" and "heck" instead of "hell" and "oh fudge" instead of "fuck you, whore." 

And...yeah. That's all I've got for today too. Except for (glances around the apartment, franctically looking from something not too dusty to re-gift)...a video! Yes!

Although it's not a NEW video or anything, because that would require me knowing how to operate our video camera. And it's...well, not really even an actual video either, now that I think about it. It's more like "photos you've mostly seen before, only in a jazzy order and set to music."

My (other, non-New-Yorker-stroller-adventure-in-the-subway) sister made this for me last Christmas, and since Noah has offically turned into some kind of HUMAN CHILD, WALKING UPRIGHT AND ALL SORTS OF SHIT, I absolutely CANNOT WATCH this without turning into a nostalgic, snuffly mess.

So here. Gaze upon the baby who once was, and weep for the smallness, yet also rejoice for the thick-waisted mother who no longer looks like that either.

Flashback Noah! on Vimeo


Heather B.

Wait, so more importantly, what does your new hair look like?

Nicole much he has changed! He just gets cuter every day! And what a wonderful Christmas gift. Something I'm sure Noah will get a kick out of when he's older.

You are a very lucky woman, you are...a great husband and perfect little baby. Noah makes my uterus ache!!

anne nahm

Your life has changed a lot in the last year or so. My world was totally FUBARED* by SAHMing, mostly because I didn't *really* believe that SAHMing was work, so I couldn't justify taking time off work. But it is, and you must. Even the suckiest of minumum wage jobs gets an hour lunch every 8 hours and two fifteen minute breaks. Don't forget this.

Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition


I think we need a picture of the hair.

And did you say Noah is walking upright? UM, WHAT? SINCE WHEN?


The hair looks exactly like it always has, really. Just less rat's-nesty and dark-rooty.

Oh, and while he's not walking UNASSISTED, we did get him some kind of plastic wheeled contraption this weekend that he can push and toddle behind, and yeah. Toddling he does, at the speed of light. Weep.


Jesus, I must have PMS because I watched that little photo montage thingy there, and it started getting really dusty in here. Doesn't anyone clean the vents in this filthy office?



Great update, but I can't see your media. All I get's the horrible green puzzle piece and "additional plugins required" message (which always means they will not work) :( *sob*


I swear Noah was bigger at three months than Jack is at 5 months.

It's dusty in here too, sniff sniff.

I was watching with the ba-by in my lap and he looked at Noah with interest.


Sorry to hear one of your freelancing gigs is gone. I hope you are able to find another SOON!

That video is adorable.


Looking back at those baby pictures and videos is so bittersweet. I was actually in tears over the weekend when I came across some of my favorite chubby Donovan baby pics.


That was all beautiful and mushy and I totally loved it. Noah will surely appreciate it when you play it for his senior graduation party.


That made me tear up! And I don't know any of those people! Boy, I remember those days. They were mind-numbingly exhausting and hard, but look so damn good in pictures!


I'm so fucking jealous that you can say "Fuck you whore" on your blog.

Would it be okay with you if I just vented my "fucks" here on your comments Amy? Thanks. You're a dove.

And Noah? So adorable! Makes my empty uterus CRY!


HAHAH @ the whore comment. you HAVE to read what i did this weekend. get to my blog now. do it,whore. or i'll make you cry.

Amy H.

geesh. took you long enough. I am now 5 days past my due date and the one thing I look forward to each day is looking at your blog and seeing what it is that you have to say that day. I checked...and I checked...I was starting to wonder if you were even going to post. THANK GOODNESS you did. Otherwise, I might cry. Don't set me off. Have you ever been 5 days overdue and carrying a child that is at least 10 pounds? Well let me tell you, you cry a lot!
Thanks for the baby montage. I loved it. And also, I will take your dog.

yet another from the legions of Amys

Ack! Why can't I see the movie?!?!

Oh, and Amy H, it could be worse. My friend just had a baby this month...23 DAYS OVERDUE! Sorry, that was mean. My baby is just 2 months old; I remember how it felt at the end! (even though my little munchkin was just 53 minutes overdue)


What is this about getting rid of your dog?!?

How much would I love a purse dog of my very own?

Oh yes.


Ah, you're blogstipated. It sucks when Life gets in the way of your Blog, eh?

We have one of those walker thingies, too. I laughed my ass off the 1st time he used it because of course, he got SO excted pushing it that he went too fast and then fell flat on his face. What's that they say about laughter through tears?


Ok, I read blogs while I pump. I just pumped an EFFing gallon watching the Wee Baby Noah footage. It's so sweet to remember their teensy-weensy-ness, yet so very sucky that they grow up so damned fast.


Blogstipation? HAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Well, I tried watching Noah but was informed by Vimeo that there are 144 people ahead of me. Therefore, I will attempt to view it later because, "Resistance is fu-tile".

Sorry about all of the changes, unless you are happy, then YAY!! I would be more than happy to send you big fat paychecks, but they could only be in Monopoly money, which doesn't really help.

BUT!!! So happy you updated inspite of everything (WALKING?!?!). You're a peach!! ( in case you didn't know, I totally *heart* Amalah)


What good is having a blog if you can't say 'fuck you, whore' when you want to?

Of course, I might nor might not utter those very same words out loud, to other people, on a fairly regular basis.

I'm just saying, if you're ever riding in the car with my kid and he says something like, 'Oh, nice turn signal, Dickhead', he got it from his Dad! Hah!

Also, I would take Ceiba, but I already have three of the furry little buggers running my life.


That little boy of yours is so obviously loved. You and Jason are phenomonal parents, and I just want to say that I'm pissed you didn't include a photo of your hair.



I hope I'm not the only one who cried. A couple of times.


OMG. I totally just called my Dh and told him you had a video montage of Noah. After we established what the word montage was, he was pretty excited. Said he would show it around the department and give them something to think about other than having the crap accidentally bombed out of them.

Noah is too cute! And you all look so happy. You can tell he is really loved.


So special - it is amazing how fast our little babies grow into toddlers. Watch out - he will be a preschooler before you know it. Kudos to your sister that video is one of the best presents I have ever heard of -- definately should be part of oprahs X-mas list for 2006.


That made me lose my shit, the weeping!

I wonder if I had believed the people who said the first year would go by so fast...would that have made a difference in the amount I cherished Nolan's teensiness?

Probably not. But I can't believe how quickly the babyness is over.

Liberal Banana

Awww, that was so cute. Makes me want to go figure out how to use iMovie right this moment. And get a camera that doesn't suck a$$. Thanks for sharing! And yes, we would all like to see the hair please and thank you!


Amazing video. Is it wrong that I cried and I don't even know you personally? I mean, that was so cute and touching. Tear. I'll blame it on pms. Yes, that's it. PMS.

So cool....


He's so great! And so are you and Jason, and your sister for making that.


That was so sweet.


What was the music in the background? Can anyone tell me? What a lovely, lovely video.
Thank you for sharing it.


I've had the baby bug for awhile now (my first is 2 1/2 now) and this just made it worse. Noah is SO freakin' adorable!

Yes, hair pics.


Bless his wee little heart. I was looking at pics of my 8 month old on the weekend. And after I cried my eyes out at the tiny wee baba that he was, I had to go squeeze the cheeks and eat the chubby little thighs of the baba he is. But oh! they grow so fast.


I had to fight back tears while watching Noah's video so my husband wouldn't think I was totally insane for crying about a baby I have never met...meanwhile my own offspring is cranking to be fed (baby girl--just a mere month younger than Noah, I might add. Arranged marriage, perhaps?? No? Ok...).
So sweet--what is it about pictures set to music that makes me weepy??


Awwww, you have one cool sister.


I hate to say this because people ALWAYS say these kind of things when kids are around but that boy has a lot of your looks. I never really paid attention before but since his laughfest video, I can see you in him A LOT.


Ok, just as I'm snorkeling in my own tears from watching the video with that song that always makes me cry anyway you throw me that hilarious dog picture. Bless you.

Also, Project Runway is an addiction I don't want to have cured.


I think having fabulous roots is totally worth any ridiculous amount of money. Because really, if your hair doesn't look good, what's the point?

(don't look at my hair)


Okay, I just saw the video -- after several tries. Oh. My. Word. It was so worth the wait. That is such a great gift to your family.

And I rarely get mushy or weepy but that totally did it. Especially your mom holding Noah with Ceiba on her lap. Ceiba was beaming with pride.

Also, you mentioned in the pregnancy posts about not having the glowing skin. Well, let me tell you, the glow came after Noah was born. You look so beautiful and so happy, filled with contentment (and glow!!) in those pictures.


Lori-- The music in the background is 10,000 Maniacs-- "These are the days."


Sniff. I want a sister. Or someone else in my life that would make lovely things like that of my child.


Writer's Block + Unbelievable Laziness = My site for the last 6-8 months. I'm working hard to change all that.


I can't believe you just actually made me cry. Because I got to thinking about what it will be like when my sister one day has a child and how much I will love her child, and WAAAAAH....

Nothing But Bonfires

I love these videos to death but I always find the accompanying dialogue slightly awkward:

-- "What are you doing, Holly?"
-- "Oh, nothing. Just sitting in a room by myself watching a video montage of a stranger's baby on my computer monitor and bawling my eyes out. You?"


Thanks, Julianna!


!! I got all teary and weepy and I don't even have kids. Tell Noah thanks for making my mascara run right before work!


So many pictures of Noah's turtle days. Too cute! Where did the time go?

Silly Hily

Is it a bad thing that I'm looking foward to the next couple of months b/c you are going to blog about being an emotional basket case and freaking the fuck out b/c Noah is fast approaching the 1st birthday mark? ONE! He'll be ONE before you know it. Before we know it! Let's all cry together now.


What's wrong with the dog? maybe I can help?

I found you through Thora, BTW. I've been readin for a while and although I don't have any children I'm really enjoying your posts! The whole "how I got my nanny" instance was great!


Gawd. I'm pregnant with number two. And my hormonal ass is a blithering, crying mess after that video.

Thank God Joe is at work...LOL LOL LOL


I cried.

Watching it was like watching my life right now. And I can't imagine my little guy getting bigger like Noah did. Plus, I'm just not ready for that yet.

What a beautiful gift from your sister. Thanks for sharing that with us.

(now we want to see pics of the new hair!)


They grow up way, way too fast. In fact, someone took my preshus baby and left a thirteen year old in his place. *cries*

Real Girl

The kid is like the reverse of the Dorian Gray portrait. He just keeps getting cuter and cuter with age. I awwwed out loud too many times. Noahlah and Jason sitting on the couch? Awww. Noah being held in his puffy jacket? Amalah holding up Noah for the camera? Smiley Noah on that Bethiclaus blanket? So scrumtious!!

Seeing your mom made me wonder how she's doing these days. Is it okay to ask?


It isn't fair to show pregnant women videos like that, with adorable babies and so much love and weepiness. Or wait, maybe the weepiness is not in the video but is instead over here.

Too cute.


Thank you for the video - the song that goes with it is 100% perfect.

Am sobbing now.


Hair is very important though! And we are all entitled to being lazy every so often. It's cleansing. Plus, Project Runway rocks. And it's addictive. And they've been having marathons.


WEEEEEP! For Noalah and for my own little ones, who are suddenly tall and skinny and my oldest is FIVE. When did that happen? That song is so perfect, too. Those are the days to remember, and while they are SO HARD, they are so beautiful, too. Happy almost birthday, Noah!


Awwww I love the crying picture.....too cute.


Beautiful and man you have mad skilz with the video making. Also I love the live version of that song. It makes me cry.


Wonderful video!

Yes they grow up way to fast.

Get him a protective pad for his forehead......walking and gravitational forces always result in a perpetual bruise in the middle of their foreheads. ;*)


THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I love reading your site, and seeing that beautiful baby Noah. Thanks for sharing such a special gift with all of us. Hoodie


Oh sweet jesus! I need to have a baby immediately!


Yeah. What Stacy said.

Also, "These Are Days" was one of the songs used during Luke's and my wedding reception slideshow, so now I can associate with memories of my lost childhood as well as Noah's. Like I needed more reasons to hold my non-pregnant pooch and sob in agony.

Bettie Bookish

Damn these innernets and their plugins. I don't even know what that means, except that I'm not allowed to see what is, by all accounts, a film that would make even me ovulate.


Ok this is the best thing to read when I want to reflect and think about my son when he was this age. When I get a break at work I am soooo ready to look for a new page here. Thanks gosh the Nanny page is gone... sooo old!!


OH. My. Gawd. That video made me boo-hoo for a gazillion reasons, some of them being that Noah really, really reminds me of my son as a newborn, and I used to dance around with him to 10,000 Maniacs, and that was one of our favorite songs, and they grow so fast, and before you know it you're watching a complete stranger's baby video and crying like an idiot because suddenly, overnight, your own son is 14.

Gotta go. NOW.


Hee, Hexic! Hubby and I are all addicted to that on the XBOX 360.

Also, cute!

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