The Kind of Thing I Should Probably Keep to Myself
July 19, 2006
I just watched Blue's Clues. By myself. While Noah was napping.
And yeah. I knew exactly where the remote was.
Today's question: What does Blue want to buy at the store?
Today's clues: Numbers, lines and a block of wood.
So I was thinking, okay, obviously the lines go on the wood, although I was a little thrown by the lack of a mirror, but the continuity errors on this show do kind of drive me nuts sometimes (how many doors to the backyard ARE THERE, especially since the front of the house is approximately six feet wide, and also, on the "Bedtime Business" episode they made a huge fricking deal about the special notebook that was soft and puffy like a pillow, yet everytime we saw Joe draw a clue it was OBVIOUSLY just the regular old paper notebook, and yeah, I did write a letter, like, what are we supposed to believe it's some kind of "magic notebook" or something? Jesus.), so um. I was willing to overlook the lack of a mirror.
The numbers kind of confused me, unless they were a measurement for just how much blow Blue wanted to buy, or possibly she didn't want to buy cocaine at all, but was planning to barter with a crack whore for the monetary equivalent in sexual favors, and the block of wood was just there in case an agreement couldn't be reached and Joe needed to smack that bitch up.
OR maybe the numbers were a symbol of a mysterious universal force that has brought all these strange animated household items together in this tiny little house, from whence no one escapes, except Steve, who went to "college," despite having the mental acuity of an ironing board and regulary needing guidance from preschoolers to make it through his day. That would possibly explain why the salt and pepper shakers came from France, but doesn't further the storyline about why a fucking sidetable drawer can talk but Blue can't, unless she's in her weird little hatbox playroom, which, DUDES.
It also doesn't explain why the plastic shovel doesn't wear clothes yet still requires pyjamas, but maybe next season will get around to that. My pet theory is that Joe is actually in a coma following a bicycle accident and will awake to find himself in a home for mentally disabled adults, where "Blue" is actually his deaf-mute roommate who thinks he's a cross-dressing police detective, and then they'll all teach us an important lesson about bike helmet safety.
Anyway. Turns out Blue wanted a ruler. I was pretty close though.
God, I love this show.
Sing Along Blue, who was only vaguely purchased for Noah.