But I Was Being Totally Serious About the McGriddles
August 04, 2006
INTERNET LESSON #465: Do not make jokes comparing the symptoms of hangovers, dehydration, exhaustion, jet-lag and God-knows-what-else I've exposed my poor sad sack of a body to this past week to the symptoms of early pregnancy.
Well, okay, make the jokes all you want, but then don't walk away from the computer to nap or do laundry or take your child to the pediatrician* without telling the Internet that your womb remains as barren and empty as ever before.
I really, really don't think I am pregnant. I mean, I haven't peed on a stick or anything. What, you think I maybe I should?
Okay, so I almost threw up at my parents' house yesterday and my mother was immediately all, "Are you PREGNANT?" and probably started dreaming of pink gingham crib bumpers and very small ruffly petticoats. But then I did not throw up. I went to bed and slept it off.
Deep down, I knew I was just tired and worn out and possibly getting sick. But. Still.
It's a nice thought that maybe I could just get pregnant, just like that, but the reality is that Noah was conceived using thermometers and charting and stop-watches and psychotherapy. Clomid didn't work for us. Miracles and a little dumb luck did. It's also a nice thought that maybe we'll get lucky again, but again, the reality is that my fertility problems are getting worse, not better. And I'm unsure what to do about it. We're only just beginning to talk about a second baby, we'd rather wait until Noah is older anyway, and on most days I maintain that I will be entirely happy and okay with just Noah. ("Just Noah!" I mean, please. I'm so blessed I could throw up just for the hell of it.) I don't ever want to take Clomid again. I don't ever want to cry over a negative pregnancy test again.
But. Still. I'm not ready to say never again.
So I apologize for yesterday's post, Internet People. I got caught with my secret irrational hope showing. I'm a little embarassed. I won't let it happen again.
*Noah is 21 pounds, 14.5 ounces (25th percentile), 30.25 inches long (95th) with a head circumference of 18.5 inches (95th). Perhaps I should be calling him my little Q-Tip instead of my chunkin.
I find if your "not trying" ..thats when you get knocked up. I speak from experience. Wait on the test, if your still feeling shitty by next week..then I say take one!
At least you didn't hem and haw and think about peeing on a stick thinking that you might be two days late and then discovered that in fact, you had another week left in that cycle. Not that I did that. I'd never. Haha.
I hear ya. I am 30 and had my first and only 16 months ago. Sometimes I wish for another one-diapers be damned, but most of the time, I think I'd be pretty happy with just the Pea. No worries, Amy, it'll happen if you want it to.
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better after some rest. Sounds like Noah is healthy ( and headed for being an NBA star with that length!). We have started the peeing on a stick to see if ovulation is happening...in a few months we may be peeing on the other kind of sticks...keep your fingers crossed.
pee on a stick, then we can relax already...
I know it's tough, we had issues too. I hate the very white circle of a negative stick. A few weeks ago, I did it for the heck of it, I just had a feeling. I wrapped the test up and stuck it in my drawer (at work) and waited a long while before I had the courage to look. When I opened it up, there were two pink lines...I cried right there. (and showed anyone within yelling radious)
I selfishly wanted to pregnant with you again.
Sounds like Noah is turning out long and skinny, just like my little guy. He's always been in the 25th percentile (or less) for weight, but the 99th for height. Even at 4 years old!
I'm with ya, Amy. We're discussing what we want to do. And I had myself convinced that maybe I should test because I had stopped pumping and wasn't producing enough milk to feed my son and yet wasn't reaching cd1. (Which happened a couple weeks later)
Count me as (apparently) the only one to read your words and think "Damn, BlogHer, lack of sleep, extra drinking, flights, blah blah really brought her resistance down. Poor girl's gone and got the flu!"
In all the *furore* (say that italiano-styley) yesterday about your transient symptoms *glares at fellow Internet People* I forgot to ask where you went in the Santa Cruz mountains. I went to college there and consider the redwood groves to be the best places on the planet. Hope you and your husband had a serene time. :D
You should know better than to get the entire internet's hopes up. Now you'll have to walk around with a pillow under your shirt for 9 months and then borrow a kid for photographic purposes. It's really the only kind thing to do.
Well, we were gone for a couple of days to Silverwood (the Northwest's largest theme park) where I found the cutest, most perfect gift for you but my husband looked at me like I was a stalker so I didn't get it (but will look for it online). I missed the whole pregnancy bandwagon that I may have jumped on, too (apparently it's still going). But I felt bad for all the pressure to be pregnant.
Also, how would a baby be a BlogHer souvenier since conception would have been pre-BlogHer and *most importantly* Jason was not at BlogHer? Just a thought.
Finally, while at Silverwood I saw a baby somewhere around Noah's age riding on his dad's shoulder's and my first thought was, "Oh, he reminds me of Noah." Then every other baby there made me think of Noah. All of which I found odd, since I don't even know Noah!
Glad your back.
My son is off the charts with his head size. There's no percentage for him. Kids with big heads photograph better, obviously LOL, And they have bigger brains.
Well you've been pregnant before! So i am sure you will know when to pee on a stick or not, or at least think maybe it's a good idea to rule it out :) you're smart, you know your own cycle and whatnot.
I am so afraid I will never have one! i want one so badly, but honestly, financially, it's not a good idea... also with the absentee husband? kinda hard to even try.
I meant to post this like oh, a year ago, haha... but i was wondering what you were doing to shrink back your stomach post partum. You've definately gone back, and even though under the clothes it may not be what it was before (I saw your other post :) you know? looks damned good in the pix! (and the pix are what counts heehee!)
Those of us with similarly battered and barren inner lady bits get all excited at the possibilities of other people's potential dumb luck. Sorry for the onslaught of pee stick requests.
Feel better!! Hangovers are a bitch. And when you get old they last for days upon motherfucking days.
Dude -- you have some overly serious commentators! To all of them: HELLOOOO -- I've had two kids, so clearly know the amount of time between conception and positive HPT. Thus, my suggestion that a pregnancy would be a BlogHer souvenir was a JOKE. Just as I assumed was Amalah's original observation about exhaustion, peeing and nausa = potential pregnancy.
Ok, rant over!
P.S. Nice stats on Mr. Noah, BTW. My kids are always 90% or higher for head, and 25% or lower for weight, so I know what you mean about the human Q-tip factor. We chalk it up to big brains!
P.P.S. Don't stress about the second baby thing. You'll know if and when its right for you.
I never want to act like I don't take infertility seriously, because I have a dear friend going thru it right now. But I also have a friend who tried for years and years, decided to adopt, got the beautiful new baby, and immediately got pregnant. At any rate, the right thing will happen, and in due time. We're here for you whatever happens!
Oh, by the way -- my son was 5th percentile for weight and height and 95th for his big-ass head. I called him lightbulb. Actually, I didn't...but I thought it.
Amy, I came across your blog in my new world of blogging. I just had to laugh at the onslaught of people's comments to you! The excitement of people who thought just maybe those hangover symptoms? may be pregnancy. It can happen! But seriously, I know how you feel. I got lucky with my precious daughter, but then we tried for oh, let's see, 9 YEARS, for baby #2, only to be told we would have to go the infertility route and chose not to. But I still wonder, maybe?? Take care and get some rest :)
Ugh, the loaded pregnancy commenting! I missed the commenters and also: I didn't even THINK that when I read it, seriously. Which means I am either a dullard who doesn't understand how pregnancy works, or I am just obtuse.
Anyway, it really frosts my ass when people go all "Are you pregnant?" on anyone, including me, because they don't always realize what the issues might be, etc. etc. and honestly it is SUCH A PERSONAL THING. CONCEPTION! It's not for public consumption, unless it's ALREADY IN PROGRESS and the conceptor (?) chooses to share it directly! Ack!
Well, um, clearly I've projected too many of my own issues onto the table here. Sorry about that.
It's our secret irrational hopes that keep life interesting. Here's to your happiness, whether with 1 baby or more.
FWIW, I hope my comment wasn't all assvicey about pregnancy and whatnot. It took us four years to have our second child, and I got very very very very very (times infinity) of the comments, "When is the next one going to happen?" When it damn well happens, now shaddup.
I hope you're not getting violently ill and it's just the remnants of the winebag effect.
Man, I didn't get the pregnancy thing the first time. I was thinking along the lines of brain tumors or something (in the most humorous way possible, of course, when you said "panic") which shows you how much I think about having children of my own (hint: never) This is due to the fact that I can't have kids "of my own" unless I adopt or something so I appreciate your stuggles to have Noah and your reticence on the issue of another. Noah is lovely and wonderful, as are you and your whole family, and however it works out wil be lovely and wonderful as well. Now then, more importantly, the McGriddle, surprisingly delicious yes? Especially with cheese.
Are you sure he's only in the 25th percentile for his weight? My son was in the 90th or something at his 8 month a few weeks ago and his doctor said he was in the 90th percentile, and he weighs about the same as Noah... He's also the same height, which she said was a little above the 95th percentile.
so understand the internal hope dealie. eamon is just 16months old and we are fielding the "when are you having another" question all over the place. what part of it took four frigging years to have one baby did you all miss is what i feel like saying in response... but then again... we'll see.
Glad you had a great time in California!
Starbuck...I'm headed to Silverwood in a couple of weeks...now I'm going to be wondering what you were thinking of getting for Amalah! LOL
I can understand how you must be feeling .. not only are you feeling sick and worn out but to have conflicting voices in your head, and in comments, discussing pregnancy possibilities ... your head must be spinning
it never hurts to pee on a stick, even if the odds are really slim that you conceived without intervention ... it is better to know than to drive yourself crazy wondering
mama kelly
Alas poor peesticks, I knew them well. I am familiar with the irrational hope--I have been known to test even when I know I don't ovulate on my own. I really wish your decision about a second baby could be as simple as deciding whether or not you *want* to have one.
If I were there, I would buy you a McGriddle this instant.
Wow, my 16 month old is 23 pounds!
At the end of June, I experienced bad headaches, extreme fatigue, and passing bouts of nausea. Even though Luke and I are currently using contraceptives, I thought, "I could totally be pregnant! Oh dear God, I hope I'm pregnant!" And I took a pregnancy test and cried when it showed up negative. I wanted it so badly--even though we have some financial loose ends to tie up before we can "try" with a clear conscience--that I tricked myself into believing it could be a real possibility.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not the only one who occasionally harbors irrational hopes. Thanks for sharing yours with us.
Just go ahead and pee already. Do you really want the entire internet community wondering when you're going to get your period? With stress like that you'll never start again.
On second thought...that could be a good thing.
You don't mind if I address someone else in my comment, do ya? Okay, thanks. Um, Starbuck? Jason kinda was at Blogher, unless Amy was standing next to another tall, handsome guy on Saturday. Or was that supposed to be a secret? Oops, um, no, I didn't see Jason...
I distinctly remember you saying there was some hitch in the throat, and oh, if I'm not careful, I'm going to get sick.
And then you toured vineyards.
hee hee
It took almost 2 years and some medical intervention to get pregnant with #1. When we were ready, I went off the pill and 3 months later was pregnant with #2 - with no medical help at all! Strange things can happen. I believe that sometimes pregnancy actually shocks your body into working properly.
I also have a friend that did Clomid, shots and was one step away from IVF when she got pregnant with her first on an "off", no medicine month. She's currently preggers with #2 with no help from the doctors...
I agree with the rest; it's when you don't stress over it and make it the be all and end all, that miracles happen.
And regardless, Noah is precious, Jason is precious, your family is precious and you're a very lucky lady. xD
-Aly
I think it's normal to entertain that possibility regardless of the reason for the vomiting. I remember getting sick one morning at my parents' house and thinking, "Pregnant? Is it even POSSIBLE?"
Turns out it was just my dad's meatloaf; my menopausal mother was puking too. But still.
Yay for Noah's latest and greatest stats!
Sorry we contributed to getting you all worked up. Now get yourself together already! All this having fun and drinking and stuff has made me jealous!
Ivie, can't tell!! Still trying to find it online. :-) Have a great time -- lots of sunscreen, too.
Sorry for my misinformation about Jason -- I thought he arrived on Sunday. (keeps mouth shut from now on)
Take. The. Test.
Chunkin. That's better than pumpkin or peanut. But I am also partial to q-tip.
Reading this post made me nostalgic for the old posts you made about becoming pregnant with baby Noah. So, I'm off to go through some of those sweet, touching old posts.
P.S. "Chunkin" = cutest tearm or endearment EVER.
P.P.S. I went to my HS prom with someone nicknamed the "Human Q-Tip." Wow, that sounds dirty somehow, but, all I mean to say is that you can have that name and turn out to be funny, smart, and cute! Which, we know Noah will be :)
Big head=Big brain. It's all good.
Big headed babies are the best! Alliclaus remains in the 98% for head size, in spite of the fact that she's fairly short and thin!
Awwww... it's just cuz we love ya Amy!!!! :)
I had the plumbing to my inner baby-making parts turned off a few years back, and had to do IVF to have our baby. At least I don't have to "wonder" everytime I feel nauseaus -- I just know it's a damn hangover!
I havent had a period since Nikki was born. I know the logical reasons: breastfeeding, endometriosis, uterine fibroids etc. But does that stop me from taking periodic pregnancy tests? No.
I am NOT pregnant, people.
Once I got home and looked at the calendar, I relized that it's pretty much a scientific impossibility, also, the symptoms disappeared after several naps and non-McGriddle meals.
Zorgon - you can read about all the vineyards we toured over at Jason's site Dc Foodies
Rebecca - Noah is 10 months old, not 8, so yeah, he's on the small side for weight.
Did anyone else have questions that I missed? I am still so, so tired.
I have a Q-tip child too! And when she's just gotten up, and her hair is all rumpled and sticking straight out, she can't understand why I laugh at her.
Do you have any wine recommendations? I'm always on the lookout for good wine. Or bad wine. I'm not fussy.
My baby just had his year checkup and he's only 19 poounds but he's 31 inches. I think his head is normal size though. So he's like 95th for height and 14th for weight. Lord knows where that comes from cause it's not me. Noah looks like he's in great shape and I'm glad to hear you were able to take a vacation away from him. We still haven't been able to manage that. Drunken vineyard touring sounds like a great idea.
I've been reading you for a bit (found you through Jennsylvania and Snarkywood!) and I've got to say - I have so many friends who can't conceive without at least sacrificing a live chicken under a full moon on the 3rd Thursday, not to mention all manner of medical procedures. What did the women of our age group do to make getting pregnant such a damned hassle?
hey, did you get the package i sent in the mail yet?
when you do; look at page 33 of the arbonne catalog.
that phyto prolief cream has worked for so many people experiencing infertility.
My almost-17-year old son's stats were almost idential to those of Noah. If the stats don't lie, you may look forward to:
*an aversion to reading for pleasure
*an ability to score outstandingly on standardized tests
*a really low ERA
*great hand-eye coordination
*a winsome smile
*the uncanny ability to hide bootleg alcohol in plain sight.
Mazel tov, Amalah and Jasonalah.
Just an FYI and not at ALL assvice--my friend who just had a big ole baby boy used IVF. She's 35 and they considered that a good age for it, and you're still so very young. They tried for years for a baby and are thrilled.
Aw honey, don't be embarrassed, I get that irrational hope thing all the time..and I have an IUD. I think we all got excited cuz we love you so much. Go sleep.
My guess would have been eating a mcgriddle while hungover. That's enough to make anyone projectile vomit. I won't even touch those while sober.
Aw, it may be "secret" but it is not irrational... I wish on you and your family as many babies as your heart desires. I'm sorry it's been tough.
ummm, so at my son's last checkup (at 10 months - just like noah's checkup) he weighed in at 21 lbs 13 ozs, and right beside that on the little sheet of paper it says 75th percentile. one of us was given the wrong information. hmmm . . .
My only tip for getting pregnant was to be taking classes in high school. I was notorious for that.
So if you don't want to get pregnant, please, by all means, stay away from the visitor side bleachers.
"I don't ever want to cry over a negative pregnancy test again." Amen Sister, it sucks donkey balls.
It's fully taken me a week to recover from San Jose and I don't have kids yet, so I feel ya.
After my second son, I said I was done. Then when I found out I was pregnant with #3, I was thrilled (I surprised myself). Then when I found out I was pregnant with #4, I was like "Oh crap!" but I was still excited, until the miscarriage. Now we've been trying for 6 months and nothing is happening. I thought I was pregnant in June, but it was just my body being psycho.
I've never had to take Clomid, but I can't imagine how you must've felt to keep trying and only getting negative results. :( That is how I am feeling now and I'm a little nervous that the baby miscarrying was like my body's way of saying, "You're done." :(
After 6 years of trying and 5 miscarriages, I conceived my Noah and my Bella when I just quit trying, quit paying attention. It is very possible! Buy a stinkin' pregnancy test, Amy!
You all crack me up. I never even considered the fact she might be pregnant after yesterday's post, so imagine my surprise (and amusement) at all the speculation. I totally figured it was the alcohol+jet lag+exhaustion+McGriddles.
McGriddles? Really?
I hope that, when you do decide it's time to try for another, that you have an easier/quicker time of it than with Noah.
It took us over 2 years and medical intervention to have our son, so I wonder if we'll be able to have another. But I know a couple of women who went through similar difficulties with the first, but then got pregnant the second time very easily. I'm hoping we get that lucky, if/when we decide we'd like another (or, more accurately, if/when I can convince my hubby that he would like another, because I know I do!).
Anyway--I just wish you happiness. Glad you're getting over your BlogovHer (that's shorthand for BlogHer hangover).
I know you don't want to get hopes up. I know you went through a *lot* trying to get pregnant the first time. I know you think it will be just as much or more trouble if/when you decide to go for a second.
I also happen to know tons of women who nearly gave up before they got pregnant the first time who turned around and had surprises before that first baby turned two. All I'm saying with this is just don't count out the possibility...stranger things have happened...
Remember: just RELAAAAXING and NOT TRYYYYING are as effective at knocking you up as eating McGriddles.
As is being Miss Social Butterfly for eleventeen days. Just sleep it off.
Although if you post about nausea again you best be ready to throw some urine soaked sticks at the Internet.
OK, I read Jason's articles (Wow! wow!) and totted up the number of bottles of wine he said you drank, and damn, sister, I want to party with you two. Please let us know if you make it to Santa Barbara some time with wine in mind, I know all the secret routes and will flip a coin with the wife to see who has to drive.
Oh and PS, my daughters will babysit
Totally off topic and probably not at all appealing, given recent events, but I immediately thought of you:
The Blue's Clues Drinking Game!
Mmmm. McGriddles and wine.
While potent ingredients for a fabulous vacation, they can wreak havoc with your insides.
Feel better.
i had a dream about mcgriddles last night. i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that had a little something to do with you.
My son was 21lbs., 12.3oz. at 12 months, and the doctor said he was 45th percentile. At 9 months he was 19.5 lbs. in the same percentile.
I think my doctor has been talking to ambrosia's.
I haven't read all the comments but I seriously want a McGriddle now.
(That was totally me. This is what I get for goofing around in past entries.)
ACK. *Sympathy cringe*
I swear, if I posted that I was feeling a bit sick on my blog and this many people thought I was pregnant I'd spend the entire month sobbing, because I most obviously would not be. And no amount of relaxing, chilling out, or adopting will "fix" that (hey, I'm adopting now and no double pink line). Amalah--I'm sending you a big hug. And--Noah and Maya have opposite head sizes! If they choose to have biological kids, they will have perfect head sizes! xoxo
And I am totally serious saying that you need to post EV-ERY-DAY because I am addicted.
Gimme, gimme, gimme amalah-words....;)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sajilijeli/
(((((Amy)))))