The Devil Wears Last Season's Pink Prada Sandals
August 07, 2006
(NOT PREGNANT, PEOPLE. IF YOU DON'T STOP TELLING ME TO PEE ON ONE MORE STICK I WILL MAYBE COME PEE ON YOU.)
You know, the stuff Internet people choose to rag on you about never ceases to amaze me. Yes. I own a pair of pink Prada sandals. I bought them off-season at Filene's Basement for 40% off, and later saw them on clearance at Bluefly.com for double what I paid, and thus consider them the pinnacle of my bargain-hunting career. I did not wear them at BlogHer or anytime during our vacation. I mentioned them in my packing post because I like saying the words "pink Prada sandals." I did not realize that by doing that, I was giving someone the evidence they needed to make sweeping declarations about my character, of the I could never be friends with someone who owns Prada sandals variety, because judging people by their footwear is okay as long as you discrimate upwards, and also I never wanted to be your friend either, so nyah.
Ahem. What? Oh, here are the pink Prada sandals. Jason thinks they are ugly. He is usually right about these things, but if I did not own them I would never be able to work the words "pink Prada sandals" into conversations.
They cost less than your average pair of Nine Wests, they match absolutely nothing I own, but God help me, I am powerless to resist the seductive meow of kitten heels.
Anyway, I would love to be able to defend my shallow brandiness with some kind of declaration that I am not really THAT girly. That pink Prada sandals aside, I'm actually quite grounded and refreshingly down-to-earth! I don't give a shit about my hair and regularly enter professional belching contests! I'm perfectly qualified to parent a son! MONSTER TRUCKS! BOO-FUCKING-YAWWR!
But the thing is, I'm incredibly girly. I own 34 lip glosses and won't kill bugs that crunch.
And I love pink shoes. Specifically, pink plastic flip-flops. Nothing makes me happier than pink plastic flip-flops. I buy them "for the pool" or "for walking the dog" and then the next thing you know I'm wearing them to Starbucks and shopping and then Jason is casually raising his eyebrows because I've somehow convinced myself that Pink Plastic Flip-Flops Are The New Stiletto Heels and am trying to wear them out for dinner.
I develop a very deep attachment to my pink plastic flip-flops.
All this rambling is just to help you understand the horror of this past weekend, which is really the thing I set out to write about this morning before I got all het up about those damn sandals of the pink and Prada variety, and trust me, I actually deleted a WHOLE OTHER RANT about them and I think it concluded with the lyrics of "Why Can't We Be Friends?" so consider yourselves lucky, but anyway, SHUT UP A MINUTE AND LOOK AT WHAT MY DAMN DOG DID:
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Behold, Amy's loves, hopes, dreams and like fourteen bucks down the drain.
If she were not so cute, she'd totally be a pair of boots right now.*
*OMG, i could never B friends w/ someone who wears shoes made out of dogs! that is like so wrong!
Pink Prada wearing show-off beeyotch! How dare you assault my eyeballs with your uppityness? What's next, a marked down Hermes handbag?
(just doing my part for drama-creation for Kate up there).
So, does this mean you will not be buying me last seasons pink prada sandals?
Can we still be friends?
OH MY GAH! Laughing at all of the chewed up sandals.
The pink Prada's are def. a keeper! :)
I once had a dog who chewed up my favorite pair of wedge sandals.
That dog is long gone.
I think that's my new favorite exclamation. As in, "Pink Prada Sandals, that's good wine!"
(Along the lines of Holly @ Nothing But Bonfires genius war cry, "Sweet Cracker Sandwich!")
This lesbo is laughing her ass off! All of this drama over shoes...seriously fucking shoes!? I mean I wanted to kill our dog for eating the remote to the VCR (I never could get the fucking thing to stop flashing 12:00 afterwards) so I understand Amalah's anger there! But actually deciding you don't like someone because of the brand of footwear they purchase seems utterly imbecilic. Maybe you should send blackbelt mama over to teach whomever it was a lesson....
So I am not going to tell you to pee on a stick, although that was my first thought with the other post... I am however going to tell you to FIX YOUR LINKS PAGE!!! Thanks!
haha...great camera angle on the flip-flops.
Um, I completely agree with Jason on the pink Prada sandals being ugly. heh. I calls 'em like I sees them. ;p
AND! won't kill bugs that crunch.
hear! hear!
OMG, too many comments and I have a migrane. but. Pink Prada Sandals are totally cute and OMG, they are Prada. So who gives a flying fuck what crazy internet people (like me) say.
And they are totally like dressy flip flops. I think jeans and a pink shirt. Just go get any pink, plain shirt. Doesn't matter if they actually match the shade of pink.
I have pink flip flops and I love them. I also love the flip flops from Old Navy because they have heels to them and a wedge=dressy, right? like I can wear them as a dressy shoe? Whatever, I can't hear "No" only "Yes." I went as far as getting tabi socks so I could wear them year-round. Yeah, that's pretty bad and totalyl the product of a migrane that I admit these things.
I feel like I'm too big to wear kitten heels... but I think your Pink Prada Sandals are cute.
wow, i'm really confused.
i always knew that being a woman = being judged a lot, but i thought we were supposed to be aiming for the expensive shoes.
shit.
*looks into closet. sees designer shoes. comes to realization she is now unfit for marriage, motherhood, and any sort of friend having. sobs. but then puts on a pair of the lovely shoes and is happy once again*
Ahhhhh what a bargain! I like ANYONE who can find a deal like that - especially on shoes!
Hmmmmm, totally suspicious. I'm thinking you've been set up. While you were occupied with something else, Jason sabotaged the pink flip flops and is blaming your innocent dog. Come on! The pieces add up! Talking smack about pink flip flops....and then this????
My heart goes out to you......I know how you must feel b/c I'm wearing my pink plastic flip-flops at work even as I type this!
I was all set to scorn the Prada. (Why, my flipflops from the $1 aisle at Target are kind of cute and quite functional.) But then I got an actual LOOK at those PPS's, and damn! Those are some CUTE shoes!! I'm not normally a pink sandal kind of gal, but I really love those. Like, really love, like "I might have to go buy some of my own" like.
Oh how I know the pain of the destroyed perfect flip flops. The only thing worse is if said flip flop meets its demise while you are actually wearing them and some distance from your abode.
I'm wearing my pink plastic Havaiana flipflops (I HAD TO PUT HAVAIANA IN THERE! IT MAKES THEM WORK-OK IF THEY ARE A BRAND!) to work. Right now. And um, every other day too. Although sometimes I trade them out for the orange, or the green metallic ones. Flip flops are TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE work attire. No one can convince me otherwise, damn it!
maybe your pink prada sandals and my ever so useful Manolo Blahnik Fuschia Patent Leather Slides
(purchased "on sale" at Neiman Marcus--although "on sale" at NM is kind of a misnomer) can be BFFs.
The green eyed monster sure can be ugly, so ignore those impervious to the call of overpriced
but strangely appealing shoes--they are just jealous
I will admit i got bored with the 100 coments, but i did want to say i don't think nylon with stop Cieba. I have a minpin too, and she has already killed my reef and teva flip flops, 2 pairs of leather shoes and several pairs of tennis shoes.
Bitter apple you say? Not my puppy she likes the taste of it! GRRR!
http://www.nataliedee.com/051806/not-leaving.jpg
haha that made me think of you :)
wait, to clarify...that made me think of people giving you their unsolicited opinions, not you giving people unsolicited opinions. yeah.
You really made my day. Thank you Amalah. I needed that.