Flush With Pride

Are You Ready For Some Real Estate?

I'm sorry I didn't post very much this week, but I've been too busy KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF MY HOUSE.


So not ready for its 360-degree virtual-tour close-up.

The tire would like someone to send help. And donuts.



Ooooh, are you having a garage sale? (Do you have a garage?) Dang it, now I want donuts...


I've wanted to pretend I was moving just so I would go through all of our junk and get rid of it.

I promise to think of you whilst eating donuts. Does that help?


mmmmm donuts.....


Will you be putting the tire in the foyer of your new house?

Friend of Mermaid

Hahaha. It's not that bad. You have inspired me to not be ashamed to post messy pictures of my house. Thank you.

Donuts do sound good, although I am fasting, so you can eat them all.

anne nahm

I know you are getting ready to move, but is this the real deal? Like you've got a place to go to and everything?


Just imagine if you had three kids. Just. We have been in our house seven years and have to move with the impending arrive of #4, and boy hell, does this junk ditching suck. Where the hell did we get all that crap?

Good luck to you, it's no fun at all.


Will Krispy Kremes do? You know, the ones nice and fresh, right off the belt?

Mmmm, donuts. *drool*


If I send a box of donuts, would you take a picture of it with the tire?

Happy packing and purging. Are you purging?


No, moving isn't imminent yet -- we're purging and getting our place ready to put on the market. Stupid buyers market, demanding our place be all "clean" and "organized" and shit. Bah.

Unless someone out there is just dying to buy a two bedroom, one bath loft condo regardless of a tire in the foyer and seventeen assorted clothing piles upstairs? It's completely renovated! And will cost you less than half a fucking million dollars, which JESUS CHRIST. I HATE DC REAL ESTATE.


Oh my weren't kidding about moving. How exciting (and nerve racking-all at the same time). Don't worry, you'll get it all together and looking fabulous and then there will be a bidding war and you'll make tons of money...and you'll live happily ever after.

(I hate to move so much. But don't even think about it!)


Oooh, then we can sip martinis together in our mutual hell. I'm doing the same thing, more or less. Actually, I've been preparing for our military move for several months, so the junk purging itself isn't so bad. But the cleaning and the frantic doing of shit to the house to make it look extra purty are making me want to curl up and sleep through the month of October. My house will be officially available for showing on Monday. Shoot me now.


I'll go ahead and start sending good vibes for the inevitable stress and shit that is about to rain down upon you.


The single best piece of advice our realtor gave us was to get a storage unit. We took all the leaves out of our table and put the leaves and extra two chairs in storage. We took all the crap out of my daughter's closet and left just a dozen or so beautiful little dresses and sweaters hanging with some lovely little blankets folded on the shelf. We filled one of those 8x8 ft units but it made our house look amazing. Seriously the best $60 you will spend putting your house on the market.


now i have the "are you ready for some football?!" song in my head. damn.


You can go on that Sell This House! show and then some dude will show up, berate you a little bit, give you money and almost do the work for you :-)

Its effective, and its TV!


But surely the presence of the tyre adds character? Who wouldn't want to buy a house with a tyre at the bottom of the stairs?

Is it wrong that I think of the tyre as something with feelings now?....


Name the tire, and adopt it as your second child. Then you get a spiffy tax deduction.


Pain the butt, isn't it? Real estate agents come to my place on Monday to take the 360 degree giz-watchy pictures for their website. All I can say is that after the piles of crap I've hauled out of here the past few weeks and the cleaning and the painting and the much other stuff I've done, it damn well better sell fast!

Good luck with your place. I hope it's a quick and easy process for you!


Oooh, ditto on the storage unit. Just put all your crap (even Mr. Tire?) there for a while, make the house spiffy, and then pull out one or two boxes from storage at a time to de-junk-ify. MUCH less stress and angst. Also? Office Depot sells their own brand of banker's boxes in 10-packs - perfect size for heavy things like books, and they are very neat-looking and sturdy. And they often go on sale, 3 packs for the price of two.

I have vowed that the only time I will again move is when 6 burly men are carrying me to my final resting place. I hate moving that much. So I feel your pain and wish you luck.

Wacky Mommy

Your place always looks great. What's a little clutter?


I hate moving, But I love ditching crap along the way. Sadly, I am not allowed to ditch crap that belongs to my husband, or the older child, but crap that belongs to me and anything that i deem unworthy to be passed along to the next kid? Mine to toss.

Still think the tire would make a lovely planter, but perhaps not the touch that prospective buyers would appreciate.

Good luck!


The tire would make a lovely Oscar the Grouch theme centerpiece that would also carry you into Halloween. Then for the holidays just stick a Santa hat on Oscar's head and maybe string some lights around the tire.


At least before, the tire had the whole area to himself (yes, the tire is a guy). Free the tire!

I'm callin' the ACLU.


Send all Coach bags my way....haha


Well, at least the tire now has some company.


If you don't get a buyer, will you rent? I'd totally be interested, and I swear I'm serious. I'm looking for someplace nicer than what I have now for the next 2 years that I'm here for work.

You could even leave the tire ... I kinda like it.


How the hell do you get up the stairs?


I totally feel for you with this process you are embarking on. The DC market sucks! I have a condo in NOVA and ended up having to take it off the market and rent. But I am hoping that you have mucho success with selling yours quickly and profitably! Very best wishes!

Melissa Wiley

Oh, honey, I feel your pain. In my lower back, mostly, and also a muscle in my left shoulder. Showing your house is just torture.


Looks like old tire-y is having one bitchin' party. Make sure he cleans up the place before you let him leave the house.


Reason # 43595563 why we're not staying in CA: I don't want to pay 700k+ for a 1200 sf 3 bedroom home.

I feel your pain. It's the reason why we're moving back to Philadelphia. Well that and I actually, I can't believe I'm saying this, I miss snow.


Oh, yeah. I feel your pain. Except. Me? I happen to own one townhouse and live in another townhouse with my husband. So? I get to go through that twice because when I moved in with the husband I left a lot of crap at my old place. I'm currently purging at the old place. And then we'll have to purge here. But "here" contains a lot of hubby's parent's crap that they left here when they moved to Texas. Can you guess where all that shit's going? Yeah, garbage.


Virtual tours are good; they spin so fast that you can't actually see most of the flaws. Not that they'd take pictures of those anyway.

Make the tyre a feature. No, wait! It's coming with you of course.. right?


Teacher Jane

I vote for an Amalah garage sale. Or at least a Purging Log (sounds vaguely bulimic) along the lines of your packing journals:

8:28 -- Just boxed up fifteen cartons of Coach bags and sent them to Teacher Jane.

8:29 -- Considered sending along the tire, too, but have actually grown quite attached.

8:30 -- May have started Tire Trend '06. Should contact avant garde artsy places to see if they'll showcase me.

8:31 -- That is, if they'll accept a Tire that has been peed upon by Ceiba.


Good one, Teacher Jane!!


Don't you dare sell that tire.


OK so this is about a week late, but just wanted to share in the Gymboree joy with you... I too take my boy every week here in the UK (he's coming up for 11 months) and I swear he adores it! He's particularly loving the bubbles and parachut ;-)


Looks to me like the house might be trying to kick the shit out of you. Good thing you've got the gate up at the end of the stairs!

The tire IS moving with you, right?

Bozoette Mary

We're getting ready to sell our townhouse in Burtonsville MD -- sure you don't wanna move to MD? We could do an even swap, because we want to move into DC so I'll be closer to work. Hey, it's Montgomery County! For less than 400K even!

Anyway... we're purging too, so I feel your pain. Thank God for Freecycle! And the dump!


I love your wall color. Especially with your floors.

You should paint the stair risers to match.

Sorry. The white, it calls out to me.

Mrs. Flinger

HA! That's my exact weekend. Complete with boxes of crap and a fucking TIRE. (I'm not kidding)


Please - just tell me that the object on the floor is a bagel rather than a plastic stacking ring!


Ditto on the storage unit- we filled a storage unit with crap and furniture so that our house appeared spacious and tidy- sold in three days.

Trust me-its worth the cost and the hassle.

Good luck!


We did similar things (steam cleaned the hardwood floors, scrubbed the showers with Comet, touched up the paint on the walls), only in anticipating of dozens of critical parents of my daughter's classmates coming to our house for her second birthday party. At least you'll (hopefully) only have strangers looking at your house! :-)


mmmm donuts....
I still love the tire!


It soooo nice to see someone else with stairs that has them covered up with random shit! Ha ha ha!


Yes, yes, yes, get the storage unit! It definitely makes a huge difference in the selling of your place. In my case my storage unit, was my boyfriend's townhouse! But it make a HUGE difference moving things out of the house, less clutter.

And I secomd the recommendation of Freecycle. It is a god send when you need to purge, especially when living in a non-garage sale area like a condo. Go to and find the DC list. You just send an email with what you need to purge, from a coffee maker, drywall, or even a tire, and folks will email you back saying they can use it and will come by and pick it up. I still donated a lot to Goodwill, but this was a great way to not have to schelp everything there.

Good luck!!!


Suhweeeet Shit, I'm so thrilled to see that cat on the wall again, dude! That was worth it just for that. I love that cat. If i wasn't happy in Chicago, I'd come through your house just to see it in real life. For reals.


Help for the tire? Check.
Donuts for Jason? Check.
Bottle of vodka for Amalah? Check.Check.Check.Check.

I have three words of advice for you(and they do not include the words "Storage Unit" although I highly recommend that, too) and they are "Frequent Cocktail Breaks". How the hell else are we supposed to make it through? Sober?? I think not.

Melissa F.

Ooooo...I want to go to an Amalah garage sale!!


Hey you and I are on the same boat! I am moving also and don't know where to begin I have decided I am just going to pack everything and live out of a suitcase...that's my husband, and three kids also. Oh what a cjhallenge that will be esp when you need something and it's already packed away amongst all thos containers that aren't labled. Lord help me, and help you too. Goodluck!


Damn I can't spell for shit, I really have to proof read my post before I post it, Duh! Where are the donuts????


You must keep the tire after all you have been through. Think tire swing.


After having had a close call last year for needing to move to your neck of the woods, I feel your halfa mill$$ worth pain. Yikes.


Looks very least there's a fence so it can't escape! I get really jealous when I see people with uncluttered houses, but then I figure they don't spend as much time with their kids, and that makes me feel better...try it!!!


That pretty much looks like my apartment after my weekend of purging, but replace the tire with a broken shredder.

Does it feel good to get rid of crap?


I hope you find the perfect house in Maryland. I have loved living here since 1988. Personally, I love moving, mostly because I love to purge and simplify. Plus I moved about every 2 years growing up and I get a bit antsy after being anywhere too long.

Please take the tire with you and take pictures of it in transit! It's got a personality of it's own now!


We have that *exact same * cabinet, and I am not making that up. Did it come from one of your parents? And they had it in the '60s? And it's a liquour cabinet and the top opens up to reveal the place for shotglasses and what not? Think it doesn't? Look under there - it so does.


How much for just the tire?


Wrap twinkling lights around the tire, hang it on the wall and accessorize seasonally - a cluster of fake fall leaves, Christmas balls, fake snow, hearts etc. Call it art. Time to embrace the tire for the permanent fixture it so obviously is.


Krisco - damn but you got me all excited. I immediately ran over to the cabinet (which we got at an antique store in Kensington) and yanked up on the top to see if there was a seekrit shot-glass compartment.

It doesn't open. I am now deeply disappointed with that boring old cabinet. (I think it was a record cabinet originally. We, of course, fill it with booze.)


I think I saw something once on HGTV about how you could turn the tire into some sort of creative planter, which would clearly add some curb appeal (er, foyer appeal?) for prospective buyers. Good luck with the whole, messy process!

The comments to this entry are closed.