September 06, 2006
So let's say it's been brought to your attention (thank you, Interpid Internet People! I owe you a Coke.) that some loser on MySpace (I know! A loser! On MYSPACE of all places!) is stealing your writing and photos and manufacturing a nice little fake life for her fake self.
Let's say you report a couple copyright violations to MySpace. Let's say you didn't initially realize just HOW many entries she's copied because...well, it's a MySpace blog. Have you ever tried to navigate through those things? Do they make anybody else feel as old as I do? Or am I the only one who gets a headache from trying to read a red font on a black background floating over a photograph? While the Black-Eyed Peas are on auto-play in the background? Just me then? Fine, moving on.
Let's say you realize she's been posting your writing pretty regularly since at least June, which is when her entries suddenly disintegrate into day after day of cut-and-pasted song lyrics and seriously, if she's stolen shit before that you almost don't care, no way are you scrolling through yet another Elliot Smith song that just perfectly captures all the complicated hurts and feelings of some teenager for whom the fake life of a fake live-in nanny living in Vegas is pretty much the coolest and most glamorous thing EVER.
Let's say you also notice stuff that's not your writing, which obviously means she's plagiarizing multiple people because...please.
So with all that said, do you:
Break down and create a MySpace account so you can contact "Claudia" directly and ask her to take the offending posts down. Girlplease. Not happening.
2) Report the additional copyright violations. Wait a reasonable amount of time in patient silence to see if MySpace takes care of it. This would obviously be the most adult reaction, because while it's creepy as ALL HELL, she's not hurting you or anything, and really, it's fucking MySpace.
3) Take Yvonne up on her offer to "comment and go all Latina on her ass," because Yvonne has a MySpace account, HAAAA LOSER.
4) Stomp around in a petulant fit , post a link and unleash the Wrath of teh Internets on her. (She stole a picture of my TIRE, people. MY TIRE! I feel so violated.)
5) Stomp around in a petulant fit, post an entry without the link because you don't want to be some kind of Big Bad Blogging Bully, which accomplishes...pretty much nothing except to let "Claudia" know that you know and that you know she knows and that MySpace knows and seriously, knock that fucking shit off this instant.
I'm just wondering what you would do. In case, you know, this really happened instead of being entirely hypothetical.
Confidential to "Claudia:" There are no IKEAs in Las Vegas. Or even in the entire state of Nevada, dumbshit.