Day of Days
Roll Credits

Entirely Hypothetical

So let's say it's been brought to your attention (thank you, Interpid Internet People! I owe you a Coke.) that some loser on MySpace (I know! A loser! On MYSPACE of all places!) is stealing your writing and photos and manufacturing a nice little fake life for her fake self.

Let's say you report a couple copyright violations to MySpace. Let's say you didn't initially realize just HOW many entries she's copied because...well, it's a MySpace blog. Have you ever tried to navigate through those things? Do they make anybody else feel as old as I do? Or am I the only one who gets a headache from trying to read a red font on a black background floating over a photograph?  While the Black-Eyed Peas are on auto-play in the background? Just me then? Fine, moving on.

Let's say you realize she's been posting your writing pretty regularly since at least June, which is when her entries suddenly disintegrate into day after day of cut-and-pasted song lyrics and seriously, if she's stolen shit before that you almost don't care, no way are you scrolling through yet another Elliot Smith song that just perfectly captures all the complicated hurts and feelings of some teenager for whom the fake life of a fake live-in nanny living in Vegas is pretty much the coolest and most glamorous thing EVER.

Let's say you also notice stuff that's not your writing, which obviously means she's plagiarizing multiple people because...please.

So with all that said, do you:

1) Break down and create a MySpace account so you can contact "Claudia" directly and ask her to take the offending posts down. Girlplease. Not happening.

2) Report the additional copyright violations. Wait a reasonable amount of time in patient silence to see if MySpace takes care of it. This would obviously be the most adult reaction, because while it's creepy as ALL HELL, she's not hurting you or anything, and really, it's fucking MySpace.

3) Take Yvonne up on her offer to "comment and go all Latina on her ass," because Yvonne has a MySpace account, HAAAA LOSER.

4) Stomp around in a petulant fit , post a link and unleash the Wrath of teh Internets on her. (She stole a picture of my TIRE, people. MY TIRE! I feel so violated.)

5) Stomp around in a petulant fit, post an entry without the link because you don't want to be some kind of Big Bad Blogging Bully, which accomplishes...pretty much nothing except to let "Claudia" know that you know and that you know she knows and that MySpace knows and seriously, knock that fucking shit off this instant.

I'm just wondering what you would do. In case, you know, this really happened instead of being entirely hypothetical.

Confidential to "Claudia:" There are no IKEAs in Las Vegas. Or even in the entire state of Nevada, dumbshit.

Comments

Stacy

I'm just glad she cares enough for the kid's privacy that she wants to use a fake name. Touching.

Adair

OMG Amalah! Had to delurk and make comment! So so very sad! Not in the boohoo way but in the "seriously?" way. But on the upside was starting to think I was sad because I have been refreshing all day and reading comments, but now that I have seen the C's MySpace I feel much better about myself.

Nonny

Go kick her stupid buushit fake name (like Claudia, yeah right) ass. Hell I've got PMT, I'll come help you!

Nonny

It;s the PMT (PMS to my American sisters), I can' t type....bring me some chocolate. NOW

JuJuBee

Wow. Just...wow.

Sarcomical

well, YAY for loyal readers, then! seriously, poor girl probably had a million-to-one shot of someone finding her out but she didn't figure on the other amalah fans out there.

honestly, i don't know what kind of mental place someone's got to be in to come to the conclusion that "hey, this stuff is kind of funny and smart...i think i'll steal it".

Audra

Sorry, you are right, you are total punk rock....hey wait did she steal the post about your last season pink Pradas? :)

JuJuBee

Not sure how much help this could be to some of you who are worried about your stuff being stolen, but worth a try...

http://www.copyscape.com/

Ms. Jen

Even with the CSS turned off, it was a painful MySpace read. She should have submitted her page to Ze Frank's MySpace contest...

Amy, contact Typepad and see if they can put up an anti-hotlinking .htaccess for you. I have one on one my sites and it saves on bandwidth.

Lisa

this chick is totally lame and more than a little psycho. I got goosebumps "re-reading" all of those blogs. I'm spreading the word on myspace to report her to the myspace folks.

Courtney

Another de-lurker, here... Amy, I love your blog (so much so that when I found it (through your adorable husband's site) I wasted a whole day at work reading the archives, ha) and I am APPALLED that there are people who do this (posting other people's entries, not wasting days catching up on someone's blog).

I found her by following the advice of previous posters, thanks ya'll

Here's another question, who are these weird MySpace friends of hers who comment on her stolen entries with things like "good job on this one"? Good job stealing? Good job being so damn f**king crazy? I don't know, is this a new form of identity theft or what?

Alexa

OMG this is horrendous! What a cluster! And what an idiot girl to think that she wouldn’t eventually get caught on this one. It’s like one of those Lifetime movies where some crazy girl probably played by Tori Spelling decides she must take on another person’s life (probably played by Melissa Gilbert or some other form of badness).

You know I meet a lot of 18 year old freelancers from the City of Sin with a penchant for blatant plagiarism and problems using a color wheel to determine appropriate colors for online use. . .I’m sure they have classes on this stuff at the local alternative high school.

My eyes hurt.

Take her down!

Meg

Hint on reading that myspace crap (sorry, but that's what it is), highlight it all... it makes it WAY easier....

Cathy

Ha! She's also stealing stuff from stand-up comedians' four-year-old Comedy Central Presents routines. ("You were named after a sandwich I had. Now go get your brother Reuben." ~Jim Gaffigan) Pathetic, little girl. You'd think, with all the effort she makes to plagarize from different sources and then to go through and hide all the details, she'd be able to at least write one real post.

a Random Person

2, 4 and 5 sound LOVELY.

Actually so does letting people go latina on her ass, but seriously. People like that thrive on attention and drama. Good or bad!

I almost - ALMOST - feel sorry for this hypthetical plagiarizer. Who needs to LIE on the internet, but not even really lie! no - steal from someone else and pass it off on her own. She's misrepresentin' and can't even come up with unique lies, she has to take someone else's truth and pretend it's her own!

hypothetically, of course.

Lindsay

I can’t believe this! As I'm reading Claudia’s posts (at work, nonetheless – this is breaking news and can’t wait until I get home), I'm remembering when I read them for the first time here… and this was one that totally caught my eye – if she’s lying about her entire life anyway, why change something like this… (to keep her bad-ass image, I suppose)

Amalah:
2:23 Okay! New shirt! Pretty pink boho shirt! Matches fabulous pink Prada sandals!
2:25 Dilemma: Pants too long for pink Prada sandals. Pants make ass look not huge.
2:26 Kicky espadrille wedges it is!

“Claudia”:
2:23 Okay! New shirt! Pretty black sparkly shirt! Matches fabulous black boots!
2:25 Dilemma: Pants too short for black kick-ass boots. Pants make ass look not huge.
2:26 Kicky flat Mary-Jane's it is!


Ugh – Claudia, if you‘re reading this: you suck, seriously.

MappyB

Wow, I think I had a seizure looking at her site. Wow. Wow. She's one classy gothish teen. And why would she be stealing mommy posts? Maybe she is a mom and has been on Club Mom, etc?

How did you find out about this?

DD

I think you need to copy and paste from her, because WOW! she's making $250,000 being a "free"lance writer.

e.

God, seriously, her site is just sad. As an 18 year old baby-sitter, does she actually think the anxiety of a real mother sounds REAL coming from her??

"I've always refused to ever hold a baby in the kitchen, what with all that hard ceramic tile and countertops and food processor blades and other assorted hard surfaces that I could smash their head wide open on."

I mean.. no. I have neither a child nor a prospect of a child any time soon, and I can honestly say that would have NEVER occurred to me.

Amalah

I bet Claudia would never be friends with someone who owned pink Prada sandals.

kylie

Whoa. Very weird, very very weird. And sad.
Do you think she really is a nanny? Is she somehow trying to pretend that she babysits for Amy & Jason?

dckatastrophe

This whole business makes me think she was a loner who underlined meaningful passages in her Babysitters Club books, and since she longed to be well-liked, creative and good with children she picked Claudia as her alias. But she wasn't creative enough to make decoupage jewelry, so she stuck to copying and pasting on the internets instead. I bet she's wearing jellies with stickers on them RIGHT THIS MINUTE. WITH SOCKS.

jubes76

That is horrible, no wonder you feel violated.

I am relatively new to blogging, what should I do to potect my blog? (Sorry the answer is probably above but, please, there are like over 200 comments there!)

Alexa

I doubt she is friends with anyone who can afford pink Prada sandals. . .unless they were Prado. . .or they stole them :)

hiss hiss scratch scratch

MappyB

Sorry! I had this comment page up too long at work and missed the lot of them talking about how you found out, another Goth claim, etc. Clearly I am not trying to thieve your other comments! :)

Carrie

Amalah, I know you made up the whole Claudia thing just to drum up a little business around here.

Tartine

What is especially hilarious is that she changed the bit about pink prada sandals but left in "dread fear of roving groups of teenagers" and "don't look teenagers directly in the eyes. it challenges them." WTF? Isn't she supposed to BE a teenager?

Ack! Have spent too much time refreshing these comments today and blinding myself on that horrible myspace page. I swear I'm just going to back away from the computer now...

Allie

Lulz dckastrophe.

Oh my God. It's all coming together.

/I had the Claudia Babysitter's Club doll growing up.
//I didn't want Claudia, I wanted Stacy. Sigh.

mrscrumley

I am really sorry that this has happened to you. I hope she gets help soon, it sounds and looks like she needs it.

I also agree with switching the images that are hotlinked. Maybe Zoot can help?

I would go with the lawyer. You really have to take a stand for your writing. I don't think MySpace is going to be very helpful.

Hope your evening gets better.

charlotte

www.icerocket.com
it will allow you to search for virtually any blog, anywhere.

TB

Hey Amy, don't know if you knew this what with all the other drama, but you were published on the Fearlessness page of The Huffington Post today.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/becoming-fearless/story/2006/09/05/amy-corbett-storch-amy-vs-self_f_28390.html

I noticed because I'm right underneath you. Great writing by the way.

PaintingChef

Okay. Damn. Now we have to worry about INTERNET single white female crazy claudias? Good times. I always miss all the fun.

Also? MySpace scares me. And kind of makes me throw up a little in my mouth when I see pages like hers. Not good at all.

Lynda

Wow. After sitting here for an hour (now with a headache) I've finally figured out how to read her site without feeling like I'm on some crazy drugs and I'm speechless. It's pathetic. And creepy. What a loser! I hope they shut her down and give credit on her main page to all of the people she has STOLEN from.

Sarah Louise

Probably the only thing that she actually wrote on all those entries are the OMGs LOLs and J/Ks, which is SO creative. I can't believe how creepy that is, pretending that she is the nanny and bitching about kids she doesn't know. its all tooooo wierd. i'm sorry that happened to you.

Megan

Scary and freaky. I'm sure myspace will shut it down..

Nicole

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

What is this, the month of the bat-shit crazy stealing fucking nitwits? For real. Obviously, here, I feel your pain. At least she didn't post pictures of you, as her, and say "My hair looks terrible here." Or, you know, "I look so fat here."

desiree

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I WILL KILL HER.

KILLLLLLLLL HER.


I'm sorry, plagerizing upsets me more than people who kick puppies. And I hate people who kick puppies. Please tell me where this mfing bitch as ho is so I can hurt her.

I can attest to the fact that there is no IKEA in Nevada.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr and FUUUUUUUUUUUUck

bon

Has anyone thought to go and visit all her little MySpace "friends" and let them know she's a fraud? That's prob'ly the thing that'd sting the worst for her. Oh, that and the knowlege in her own sad, sad heart that SHE IS a fraud.

Personally I can't bring myself to do it... I'm just sayin'.

Mega

Nicole, that is so scary. What the heck is wrong with "Angela" wow. I really hope flickr shuts down here account. Who would do that type of thing? Ugh.

Megan

obviously I mean her ^

Emma

I'm a Southern girl with a penchant for FURIOUS ANGER when something isn't going well with people I like, so I can proudly select option 3 and hope Latina anger is just as good as Southern anger. I also do think that option 4 is a good one, too, so we can laugh at it. Bless you for reading that blog on what sounds like the worst possible HTML ever--oh, it's not, though, now that I think about it. I'm a teen myself, so I know a lot of people who "decorate" their Myspace profiles/Xangas with similar HTML.

aimee

My theory is that Claudia and her friend "rotton" who responds to every one of her posts, are the same person. Just a hunch I have.

nicole

undoubtedly some techno guru will have helped you out already, but if you take the tire picture, back it up somewhere, then make a new picture file* with something like "CLAUDIA IS A BIG FAT PLAGIARIST" or, you know, something like that, and save it with the same file name as your tire picture, upload it, well theoretically it should work. Just hit reload on Claudia's blog to make sure your browser isn't looking at a cached photo.

*of course this means your blog will also say this, but for a day or two? probably worth it. ;)

bigfatjerk

Delurking. Because I can't look away from the train wreck. I like reading your blog and looking at your pictures and stealing your whole using.punctuation.for.emphasis thing, but that's where it ends. How f'ed up do you have to be to steal someone's blog? Wow.

Janel

Wow...girl, that's just totally messed up. I can't believe that someone would be such an idiot and do something like that.

My jaw is on the desk...

Kate

Ahh, please stop the googling and use Ask.com! Why? Because one of your most loyal readers works there. That's why. Also: I am off to send her mean comments because I totally have a MySpace. Yes, one of your most loyal readers is TEH LAME. :(

Ursula

Okay, it's 6:49 EST and her MySpace page has changed to say that she is online now...wonder what will happen.

Michele

1. I have a myspace account as well, minus the music and migraine inducing "decoration" thankyouverymuch. So I'll back anyone up if given the link.

2. I know someone at MySpace. A director. Let me know if you want me to see if he can get involved.

Lisa Ann

I couldn't imagine why my hit counter went crazy today (for me anyway). When I checked my stats there were like 50 people searching for "Claudia Amalah" and my blog came up in a post where I talked about Claudia Salinger -- I was all WTF? And then I read today's post. So thanks for the unintentional boost to my stats -- I promise never to steal a picture of your tire.

P.S. Curious about what her caption/explaination to go along with the picture of the tire was?

Laura

I sent a message to the MySpace folks too. Hopefully, if they get more than one complaint they'll move a little faster.

Jolene

Hi Amalah-
Have they taken her down yet? I tried to get the link but I can't find her. I do not have mad skillz. Good Luck!

Emily

And the page is set to "private" I think someone got the hint.

G love

Whoah, Amalah, I love you and your preshus tire so so much. But not enough to go totally batshit over it and lose my damn mind on myspace. Creepy.

And Nicole, that is just so wrong. I am sorry you had to experience that, it was hella disturbing for me. Who *ARE* these psychos???

But people, please. Let's not call her names like Single White Female. Let's be adults about it. I hereby nominate her for Batshit Crazzeee Innernet Stalker.

Maeven

hehehe, well, you can no longer click on "view all blog entries" to read a few of her stolen entries, she has set them ALL to "private"

Too late claudia, we know you are a lying, thieving little biotch.

Jessie

Has it been noted that she has now set her profile to Private?

All I can say is WOW!!!!1

k

Aimee--that is EXACTLY what I was thinking. "Rotton" is just a little too, shall we say, desperate to get "Claudia's" attention. They are totally the same person. I wish I was more myspace-savvy in order to check this theory out. Because clearly Claudia really isn't all that great at covering her tracks.

On a completely unrelated yet previously mentioned topic, little Suri totally doesn't look like Tom. I'm just saying. And that cover shot might just be the cheesiest family photo ever taken. Give me Noah in the lobster pot any day.

Tirzah

Guess what "dumb ass bitch" told me??? She said "shut up Fat ass.. go eat a twinkie "

Veronique

Delurking to say:

La petite tabarnak!!!

You guys have never seen a Québecoise get mad, eh? I did send her a message with all the links from Amalah and Bonnehomme she copied and i did send the same message to all her friends "all 2 of them". At the end of the messages I put a little note saying: "get a life... your own!"

All I can say Amalah is that you brighten a sad canadian winter. Thanks a bunch for sharing your life even though it gets "stolen" sometimes.

Jeez Louise

My friend likes to replace all stolen images with goatse loveliness. Unfortunately she can only do that when they are too dumb to save locally and upload. But imagine their faces as they discover that their backgrounds have unexpectedly turned into massive gaping anus.

Exiled to Canada

Ok, this loser has a MySpace account too and I just sent them an e-mail reporting her theft. I hope it turns out ok for you and the other people she has stolen content from.

Princess

Rotten wrote back to me and said that she was just shocked that her "friend" would do that.....

Not sure if they are the same person, but I have got no response from Claudia.

I do know that shes read both emails I sent her though.

margalit

Are the photos hotlinked to your site, or did she copy and host them herself? If she's hotlinking, then go and change the photos to some 'creative' and they'll change on her site as well.

Secret Agent Josephine just had something similar happen and she found a great solution: she changed all the backround beach photos that had been hotlinked to her site to Hello Kitty photos. It was pretty funny. Just DO NOT change the photos to porn. That's illegal!

Eileen

Longtime lurker here who must sadly admit to having a myspace account (I do think myspace is lame although I doubt that redeems me too much). I came to this whole topic too late though, Miss Writer Of The Year made her profile private! I hope myspace deletes her account for you Amy, thats ridiculous.

:D

Best post ever :D

jomama

I wish I had found her blog earlier, but alas it is private now. Drats. I love a good train wreck. I can't think to say anything that hasn't already been said. This chick is pathetic.

kalisah

well I'm sorry that I don't have the patience to read all 265 of your comments b/c it seems there's a lot of good stuff going on. I was going to ask for the link b/c DAMN. But now it appears from the three comments ahead of mine that I DID read that you can't get to her site any more anyway. Rats.

Kyla

How nutzo!!! Give us the link! We want the LINK!!

Monica

While it is very sad, at least you can take comfort in the fact that your life, and your writing about it, is interesting enough that weirdos actually want to steal it!!

Lindsay

While I'm sorry this happened to you, your entry on it has brightened my day. Hilarious!

If I knew anything about MySpace, it'd kick her virtual ass for you.

Wacky Mommy

I still can't believe a wild dingo tried to eat your blog.

Ivie

I also made an "inappropriate content" report to MySpace on behalf of you and Mr. Nice Guy and anyone else that this girl decided to steal from. Hope it helps!

kim

So which is sadder? "Claudia" or the fact that I clicked a trillion links in your comments to find her blog, then googled it, then clicked the cached link so I could read it?

Okay, the latter might be sadder but at least it's honest.

laurie

wanna know what's impressive? 272 comments, all talking more-or-less about a specific web page, and not ONE LINK to the page itself. nicely done amalah lovers. nicely done.

BoopShoop

oh link that bitch already...im armed and ready.

Real Girl

Wow! What a comments dialogue going on! MySpace has actually been a great help in getting the word out about my novel, so I'm grateful for that, but boy there are some nutters out there. Claudia, alas, should be on YourSpace.com.

If anyone wants to say hi, www.myspace.com/zoerice.

John

Hola Amalah!

I am a lurker every now and then. My wife informs me that I need to read a post here and there. As a matter of fact she brings you and your family up fairly frequent at our dinner table. :)

I love your writtings and think you are extremely talented. I find it amazing that someone actually stole your work. This should be extremly flattering on the flip side of the coin. Once the dirt settles and her profile is deleted you can think that someone out there is actually trying to possibly, be you?

Anyways, take care and creep up the great work.

Husband of one of your greatest fans...

leslie

Using our Myspace powers for evil, we messaged her.

on Myspace we are /postonbarber, Sports Racers.

And yes, copyscape.com is a wonderful tool to fight tools that plaigarize.

Sarah

A little OT, but I've just discovered that two lovely Amalah readers sending me the link had their mails filed into my Junk folder. I shall be having stern words with Mail - the cheek!

Aly

Hahaha. *does not have a MySpace* **shifty eyes**

-Aly

Island Girl

Ugh- post the link. What a dumb ass she is.

Audra

Interesting tid-bit for you. Just leaving a comment on your site with my URL, increase the traffic to my page by double, which is sad because it still only brings it up to 20 hits or so for a day

Mrs. Harridan

I found "Claudia" through a link on a commenter's blog, but now her profile is set to private. BUMMER!

Kymba

Update! We need to know what's going on in the saga of Amalah vs. Interloper.

ali

oh my god. this is hilarious.

Amalah

Nothing new. Her profile is set to private and she's only accepting friend requests from people who know her last name and/or email address. Foiled! That Claudia, she is a clever one.

Obviously, her profile hasn't been deleted yet and I've heard nothing from the MySpace Powers That Be. Sigh. So what are we thinking? Time for a Cease & Desist? Some stern phone calls? Arby's?

Kim

I could definitely go for some Arby's right now. Mmmmm, melted cheese....

Mrs. CPA

Damn, now that giant Arby's hat is going to be following me around for the rest of the day.

Thanks a lot.

Carrie

Don't hold your breath for the MySpace PTB. Hubs had someone set up a myspace account with his email address (we think the guy forgot to finish out his address because his name was close to hub's), and it was a week and a half before we heard anything more about it. In the meantime, he spent what seemed like hours deleting friend requests and other stupid emails from the little sk8r boi's friends. P~

Kristin

Cease & Desist. It'll scare the everloving crap out of her. Plus she'll probably have to explain to her parents why she's getting mail from an attorney. ;)

Adair

bacon, chedder, curly fries. Bacon, chedder, curly fries.....

*pixie*

Add me to the list of those who have reported inappropriate content to MySpace. Hope the rally for amalah's rights helps.

wordgirl

Didn't one of your commenters say she had a friend at MySpace? Also..didn't one of them e-mail her? Get that e-mail from her and start talking legal action unless she responds to you AND dismantles her site...whether or not it's actually feasible. She's eighteen! For the love of God, how smart can she be?

Carole

First: Arbys. Then the Cease and Desist letter. And can I volunteer to be your attorney? Because, dammit, if I have to fly out to Vegas and spend a week there trying to personally serve the letter on her I will. I am that dedicated to you Amalah : )

Nicole in Pgh

Holy comments! This is really silly, she is a dumbass. I had something similar to this happen to someone I know. MySpace PTB didn't do anything then - I hope they help you.

I do have a myspace, but I'm not a loser.
Well, maybe a little.

Nicole in Pgh

Holy comments! This is really silly, she is a dumbass. I had something similar to this happen to someone I know. MySpace PTB didn't do anything then - I hope they help you.

I do have a myspace, but I'm not a loser.
Well, maybe a little.

e.

Don't you have a Cease and Desist letter of your own lying about that you can rewrite to send her?

Meleah

I am NEW to BLOG land, I have enjoyed reading YOUR blog every day since. It is a shame that someone STOLE your WORK. I can't imagine what that must feel like. I hope myspace or some crafty internet person finds a way to DESTROY "Claudia's" page.

Y from the internet

You mean "Tom" hasn't taken care of this shit yet?

It's going to suck if I have to Fuck A Tom Up.

Ursula

No doubt she is reading all these comments as well. At least, I would be if I screwed up as much as she has.

akaBrandi

Amy! Not to change the subject, but I've found your Black Chuck Taylors. Behold...

http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/09_07_2006.html

Yes, I'm a tattletale. My sister can confirm that.

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