Entirely Hypothetical
Into the Smoke

Roll Credits


Well, there you go. I am totally sure Claudia will never ever plagiarize again. In fact, I bet we've eradicated the problem of Internet plagiarism altogether.

Except that I am also pretty sure poor, put-upon Claudia and her Kicky Flat Mary-Janes have probably already created another MySpace account and this one is like, at least 37% gothier and contains 45% more Morrissey lyrics and you know what? She's GLAD this happened. WHATEVER. She's way too hardcore to like, care and shit, especially since her freelance writing is like, going SO WELL and she's totally making $1,000,000 a year now because she is AWESOME and she RULZ! PISS OFF H8TERS!

The end.

Thanks to Mrs. CPA for finding Claudia's page in the first place, and then taking valuable time out of her cRuiZing 4 MySPAcE hOTTieS schedule to tell me about it.

Thanks to Mr. Nice Guy and MetroDad for also writing stuff worth stealing. Claudia's blogroll kicks ass!

Thanks to everybody who chimed in with advice and pointers and offers of legal help and dummy MySpace accounts. Oh, and the righteous fury. The delicious, buttery fury.

But mostly, thank you for keeping the comments section at a football-in-the-groin, clown-car fender-bender level, instead of letting it escalate to the five-car pile-up it easily could have become. Thank you for not being all, "I'll see your plagiarism, Claudia, and raise you a DEATH THREAT, MWA HA HA." I really hesitated to say anything about...well, any of it, because good Christ, you know how these things can get.

(But of course you know I HAD to say something, because I am totally Fake Internet Drama's bitch, and also I pretty much had NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT, EXCEPT PERHAPS THAT I AM INORDINATELY FOND OF MY NEW TOASTER.)

Basically, thank you for not being totally monkeyshit crazy. If I had a MySpace page I'd like, totally friend you.

Now I must figure out how to make sure I never, ever use the word "friend" as a verb again, and to cleanse the images of dozens of seizure-inducing MySpace pages (white text on a zebra-print background, people! ZEBRA PRINT!) from my brain.

I'll probably need bleach, don't you think?



good going!

erin rae

I'm not sure bleach will do. More likely a frontal lobotomy, to get rid of the flashing images and midi files that will not go away.

Thrilled to have been introduced to Mr. Nice Guy though!

So... the toaster? Is it like the MySpace antidote? Just white and plain and only serves one function?

Mrs. CPA

I was just out on a friendly technorati search with your name in it and lo and behold, there was your post, and two down was her post, WITH THE EXACT SAME WORDS. I think that was the first myspace page I have ever encountered, and it was enough to make me dig out the blunt knife I reserve for my mother's visits and gouge my eyes out.

Anyway, you are very welcome. I'm glad I could help spawn 40 kazillion comments.


Glad there seems to be some resolution. Being copied can suck, but I just have to say thanks for keeping me entertained for the entire day yesterday - all the comments were really fun.


Weren't they fun? Even I kept commenting so much I felt like I was trolling my own site.


The end. Yay. I kept getting mail to my personal e-mail from a site like MySpace and turns out a 13 yr. old girl in Detroit had my e-mail linked to her acct. I was much more nefarious than you. She can't get into her acct. now. MySpace is the devil.


Brain Bleach!!!!


I have that toaster. It is awesome. It makes up for all the sucky toasters I've ever had in my life. Love the bagel feature too.


I was just about to write to you and tell you that goth-chick "Claudia" has left the building. Not before, naturally, calling me a FAT BITCH with NO LIFE in response to my "stop plagiarizing" comment. Hmmm...way to use your words, Claudia.

In any case - your 300+ comment made me realize that if you really wanted to Internet-Stalk or terrorize someone, having Amalah on your side is the way to go! Not that I'd ever thought about that...


woman. this shit happened to me before. some gamer.. SOME GAMER CHICK took all my pics and my name and was me. PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. ONLINE. as ME.

anyone who has a clue knows that bitch wasn't me. and apparently, someone did. and they told me. and i had the lying whore killed. not really.


It was kind of an awesome "Interactive Amalah" post--I feel like we've maybe gotten to the next level. The one where you get to save the princess. Yay!


All I can say is she had good taste in bloggers, despite her lack of ethics.

Very nice toaster, by the way. I got a new toaster for Christmas, a new dishwasher with the tax return, a vacuum for Mother's Day and a super heavy-duty KitchenAid for my birthday. Now a new refrigerator is all I ask. That and maybe a good mop.

Y from the internet

I LOVED the comments yesterday, but only because people kept saying my name.

Now, about that toaster. Was it really necessary to bring it up, with it's FORTY DOLLAR price tag? I could never be fwenz with someone who spends THAT much money on a toaster and then BRAGS ABOUT IT on The Internet.

I'm going to start a website to talk about you and your toaster!1111111!!!!!!!


Sidebar note -- Only a horrible monster would hire a plaigarizing Goth nanny, who also listens to Hanson, to care for their preshus baby.


Perfectly delicious boy child,Posh toaster, posts copied by little girls. Tire inside the house.( I'm english and I so want to write Tyre because that's how it spelled, would hate for all your american readers to think I was completely dim though, tire it is)300 comments?? You just like showing off really don't you? Some people have it all. Can I be you please?

Wacky Mommy

I'm so glad that site is down because I really was starting to dislike that dingo and her stupid-ugly graphics. But I was enjoying feeling the love and Amalah protectiveness amongst us. Everybody now, "You just call/out my name/and you know/wherever I aaaaaaaaaaaam..."


That's my toaster! Why must you plagiarize my toaster?

I'm glad the situation has been resolved though, if for no other reason than google is going to brand me an idiot for repeated checking the spelling of plagiarism (it just doesn't look right!)


Yeah All hail the Amalah followers!

40 dollars for a toaster? I hope that it makes good toast.


Yeah All hail the Amalah followers!

40 dollars for a toaster? I hope that it makes good toast.


you love your toaster, i love my new hard drive... whatevs.

Vaguely Urban

Since I turned 30 last year, I've welcomed others who've turned 30 with the consolation that "when you're 30, you don't have to have a MySpace page!" It never fails to bring cheer to the aging process.

Heidi T

You don't really have readers, per se.... more like thousands of vigilantes out for justice.

Behold..... don't piss off the violent hordes of Amalah's blog. LOL.


So, would you say Claudia's MySpace account is . . . TOAST??


OMG Jenny! Hee. Taht was the worst (read: funniest) pun ever!

So glad the saga ended well - I believe this was the first time that I actually read all 300 comments on a page. Some of you are very funny!
Thanks for being so worthy of the plagiarizing, Amalah!


Yes. Bleach. Clorox's Spring-scented version...or something equally capable of taking you to an olfactory happy place whilst cleansing your memory of the stain that is anything reminding you of Claudia.


I'm glad she was shut down so quickly. I also found it amusing that so many were willing to out themselves as myspacers to come to your assistance!

And do I have a myspace....oh lordy yes, I do.


Nobody tells you that even plagiarizing Goth nannies like listening to Hanson.

(Thanks for the mix CD, Frema! Lila Nobody Because I Don't Have Any Real Friends! OMG!)

And for the first time EVAH Amalah made me pee my damn pants. At work.

That person's blogroll was too good to have come from an 18 year old. I bet mizz thang was not 18 much less maybe not even female. Could someone fedex some pants to my damn desk now? Thank you. *the shame*


Yay! And there was much rejoycing! Trumpets sound. Confetti blasts abound. And so on.

I'm oddly ecstatic that this little mess got cleaned up so quickly. Amalah lovers unite!


I borrowed the phrase "totally Fake Internet Drama's bitch" for my myspace headline but only temporarily because it was perfect for the stupid bullshit drama thing I got myself into somehow. (Fucking Myspace!) I'll give it back when I'm finished, I promise. For the record, I've borrowed "Oh helllll no. Except yes!" from you because that shit is just funny. I'll totally credit you and link to your site if you like. Just wanna be straight-up with you.

Also, an interesting dynamic occurs when you're sitting on the couch on a Sunday morning reading about Amalah's tire and your boyfriend asks why you're laughing and you have to come up with an answer that doesn't sound like you're reading the blogs of NASCAR wives, because you know, saying, "Oh this girl has a tire in her foyer..." will earn you the look of concern for your sanity. You try explaining it! Oh wait, you're actually living it. Nevermind.


Damn. Now what are we going to do? I'm bored.

One of the Amy's

You know, there are many times I read someone's blog and think "Man, that's exactly what I was thinking." But you know what? I don't cut and paste it and change the name or shoe description and call it my own. That's wrong. Wrong like we learned in sixth grade English class wrong.

You handled it like a champ, Amy! Not likely many of us would have been as classy!!!


Glad the drama is all over. Though, boy, it was fun while it lasted. I think I got repetitive strain injury from all the refreshing I did yesterday. What? I'm a student and don't start back to uni for another month. Do I look like I have better things to do than repeatedly refresh, refresh, refresh? Lol.

Amalah, you rock. You kick major butt. We love you! And we will fight crazed MySpace teenage goth plagiarists for you anytime, honey!


Myspace continues to baffle me. I found out the girl in my office has a myspace page, and I told her I didn't like them because they were all so "busy." And she said, "Oh, they don't have to be busy and flashy - here, look at mine, it's nice!" And she proceeded to show me this hideous blog with graphics in the background that caused you to not be able to read the text, etc. What is wrong with these kids today?

Yesterday's comments were highly amusing, and I am glad the overwhelming powers of the Amalah readers helped to shut Claudia down.

(The new "nobody tells you" is freaking hilarious!)


You have my toaster and the bagel feature is nice. Enjoyed the whackedy-drama and it had a fast paced interactive quality. I think we all enjoyed joining in (perhaps too much) You should think up another game for us to play.


This whole ordeal kept me entertained all day long yesterday and increased my web traffic by 900% how sad is that? Seriously I love your page and now, I too shall steal it

G love

Huzzah! But the real question that I have that hasn't been answered yet is...

Who went to Arby's today? Let me see your hands.


Seconding erin rae - I also found Mr. Nice Guy due to all this MySpaceOddity! So, cool in the end, sucky up till then.


I have to think that Claudia is something like Hope. It's just funnier that way.

Also, your toaster has nothing on my coffee maker. :P I'd link that, but JI'm not that kind of blogger ;)


Mmm...delicious, buttery fury...*drool*


I think it's incredibly rude of you to just post a link to your new toaster. You should really post a picture of it so that someone can post it to their own blog.

I'm glad it was taken care of quickly. Behold the power of the internet!


I learned a couple things yesterday.

1) There are at least 37 reasons not to have a mySpace account and Claudia is only one of them.
2) Amalah's peeps, they scare me, with their Samuel L Jackson great vengeance and furious (delicious, buttery) anger.

oh, and um, when I click the link to that toaster it's $50, not $40. HAH! Even teh interwebnet knows when it crosses the Connecticut border to jack prices.


I am glad your ordeal is over. And, it's refreshing to know that MySpace took it seriously and handled it so fast. Nice toaster BTW. Looking forward to many bagel and bread stories as only you can tell them!


For the first time, I (lurker) actually read all the comments you received on "Claudia", one word. Wackjob!

Lucky for her (or maybe Y) you didn't sic Y on her ass!


All hail the mighty power of Amahlites. Amalahtarians?

I know I have a MySpace account but I could not for the life of me remember what the logon was. This is how I know I am too old for MySpace.


More Fake Internet Drama, please. And a side of toast.

Mmmmm, toast . . . .

Silly Hily

Like totally.
I knew MySpace would do something once they figured out the loyal Amalah readers were ready to defend their leader's honor in any way, shape, or form.
And Mrs. CPA totally rocks my world.

But wait, what in the hell am I going to do for drama until Grey's Anatomy starts back? Seriously.

Heather B.

I know two people (you being one of the two) who have their very own serious-will-kick-haters-in-the-gonads type followings. It's amazing the power a few hundred (or thousand) people have. And even more amazing that your particular brand of followers come up with 24 hours worth of entertaining comments to keep me boredom free for a day.

Mrs. CPA

I have spilled the TrUe H0llyw00d St0ry of the MySpace thief, to the tune of the Brady Bunch song, no less.


Oh thanks everyone. I shoo'd Claudia out of an Ivillage board I frequent (land of Trolls and other evil innerwebnet oddities) and now she's gonna come back. She was so quiet for a while.

And Suebob? I think we're called Amalahmadingdongs.


Oh, and for $40, that toaster better do windows.

At least you didn't get one of those Yuppie-Bait toasters that both toasts your bread AND poachese your eggs!!

*Yuppie-Bait...noun...any totally useless device that's bigger than a breadbox, costs more than $25 and seperates Yuppies from their retirement account.*


Hey now. Not everyone has zebra stripe on their myspace page. Mine is simple. And mainly is just there to pimp my blog to my other non-bloggy pals.

And look! No plagirizing!


Wish I saw her page. Then again, I don't. Claudia, whoever you are, you got the attention you itched for. Pathetic. And um, I do have a MySpace acct., and it's active, nice to see what my HS Jr son and his buddies chat about!


why must I lurv you so much?


the silver lining when it comes to internet plagiarism is the fact that, as in this case, the content comes from a page vastly more popular than the plagiarist's site, so the vast majority of people whose eyeballs come across the words will know who it was really written by. that, and once the plagiarists are caught, there will be "delicious, buttery fury".

the thing that's crazy to me is how, in my case and the case of some other commenters who were plagiarized in the previous entry, a simple "cease and desist" was enough to make the plagiarist shut down the site right away. if they're THAT aware that what they're doing is wrong, then WHY DO IT?!? i'll never understand.


oh my god! she stole a picture of your tire! why is that the part that stands out most in the whole story? i think that is really very funny. your tire. who would have thought your tire would have such an interesting virtual life.)
and those myspace autoplay songs make my skin crawl.


Apparently she was scared of the beef-log.


Blah blah blah blah. I hate MySpace. Am I the only one that just does not get it? Why can ordinary people call themselves someone famous and then they are not, they are just regular people? And it looks like shit (sorry myspacers for lumping you all in together there, I am sure there are some good ones but my eyes hurt after the first one) and burns my retinas.

Anyway, Amalah, you inspired me to blog, so if you can take a couple of positives out of this it's that you are so hellacool that people will rip off your blog (there's a word for people like that in Australia but I will refrain for now) AND you have managed to inspire a whole lot of other (really pretty people) to start their own blogs.

I love you like pumpkin.

Black Belt Mama

I'm so glad to hear she's been taken down properly. It's nice to see the "good guy" win one here and there.


Well, you got to admit, at least Claudia didn't discriminate based on gender. Equal opportunity copycat. Still WRONG! Wrong and BAD!


Dude. Amalah. MY myspace had a sweet background. It's pink and grey argyle. I Rule! It doesn't hurt your eyes, I swear...go look! You can rock out to a little Justin and get your sexyback...not that you don't already have it...I'm jus sayin.


Mmm, sweet buttery fury. I would have commented yesterday but everyone else pretty much covered it for me. Plus, I get so righteously indignated at stuff like this I don't type things so good...
But! I can comment now because have a toaster I spent EIGHTY dollars on! It' s yellow.
(did I mention I have baby brain?)


Score one for the good guys! Yet another reason to blacklist MySpace and everything they stand for. I wish I could say this is the first time something like this has happened but it is common practice with MySpace (SEE: http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2006/05/ma_myspace.html). Regrettably, they may be around for a long long time after inking deals with NewsCorp and several other big wigs (SEE: http://www.newscorp.com/news/news_311.html) and GOD HELP US they are working with GOOGLE now so Blogger may be the next News Corp/MySpace victim (SEE: http://www.newscorp.com/news/news_309.htm)


Wow- Talk about friends. You've got an army. Way to go!

I hope this sends a message to all of those stupid kids who think it's perfectly OK to steal.

for Joke!

Riddle me this everyone: what is so great about that toaster?


Yeah! Her blogroll was awesome though.

No bleach. Windex cures everything.

Also, I'm curious. Why does everyone seem to be rounding down to $40 when the toaster is $49.99? Enjoy your toast.


I have a KitchenAid toaster and I totally hate it. I would chuck it, except my mother paid WAAAY more than $49 for it and believe it or now, asks "how it's doing." Let me know how yours works out, okay?


Claudia - 0
Amalah's Army - 1



More TIRE!

We want more tire!

Or not, if it bugs you.

Glad your Myspace issue was cleared up. Personally, I don't go there. Ever. It makes my eyes bleed.


(Oh hell, I'm defending my choice of toaster now. Am such a freak.)

For many years I was a compulsive buyer of cheap appliances (toasters, irons, vacuums, etc.). I would buy the cheapest one available, no matter what. And then they would break/not work/otherwise suck ass, because dude. Toasters are not supposed to cost $6.99 at TJ Maxx.

And then I started adding up all the money I've spent on cheap-ass appliances that would barely last a year and realized that I needed to make a change in my life. That toaster is the first step in this major life change. Plus it has a bagel button.

And it matches my KitchenAid stand mixer and makes my countertop look all kinds of coordinated.


The only thing bad about buying "good" appliances is that they won't die when you want them to. I'm still waiting for my coffee maker to die so I can get a new one. *pouts*
But I got your back on the KitchenAid toaster. It rulz!

Black Belt Mama

I just noticed your "Nobody ever tells you that. . ." and am cracking up. I think you've coined a new term, "Goth Nannies."


I think you'll want the bleach alternative - OxyClean - wouldn't want to accidentally get full strength bleach on anything worth keeping....although I don't know if myspace has anything worth keeping.

Nice Toaster


For me, the expensive vs. the cheap goes for cookware and cook tools and bakeware and so many other kitchen things.

I'm green over the KitchenAid mixer.

I'm still curious about the rounding down vs. the rounding up. My husband drives me crazy when he does it and can't explain why.


Hey, Amalah, which color toaster did you get? As for expensive vs. cheap appliances (or anything, really), there is a character named Sam Vimes in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of books who has a "Boot Theory of Economics." He says that rich people are rich because they spend less money than poor people. See, rich people can afford the $200 boots that last for twenty years. Poor people have to buy $20 boots that fall apart after one year, and so they have to buy them again. Thus, in twenty years, the poor people have spent $400 on boots and the rich people only $200. So I hear you.

Silly Hily

The reason you bought that toaster is the same reason I finally broke down and bought me a Dyson. And it's fabulous and I love it with all my heart.

Y from the internet

Oh my God, you know I was JOKING about the toaster, right?

Please tell me you know that.

The Muse

Yeah, thanks to the two Amalah commenters that sent me the link. It provided much hilarity at the office.

Oh, and Amalah - I covet your new toaster, but in red to match all of my other matchy-matchy KitchenAid appliances that I love so much. (Seriously, my boyfriend thinks I'm going to leave him if someone were to promise me unlimited access to red KA products.)


Girl, you get WHATEVER toaster you want. My rallying cry has been "less stuff, better stuff". If I can't afford something nice, that I want, and that does the job, I will go without until I can.

And, I have to tell you, while I think the entire plagiarism thing was the complete shit, it was as effective at finding cool new bloggers as a "Mom's Daily Dose". See - you are working even when you are not working. Excellent. I hope ClubMom pays you for this one.


i am totally with you on the toaster. we are all kitchenaid and LOVE it! Totally worth it! and if not a fancy toaster then what?


Bleach and sage, baby. Bleach and sage.

Real Girl

Hmmm...Am I allowed to go back to the subject of lost Amalah.com threads? How's the search for a new life in the suburbs going?


Amalah rulz!


Writing about a toaster is the perfect way to keep from ever being plagiarized again.


Never ever use "friend" as a verb again, ha! So glad you're taking that stance, b/c that kind of poor grammar is what's wrong with America (or something). I also hate that people use party as a verb, but apparently my one-woman stance against this isn't having any impact. Sigh.

Bonanza Jellybean

I just noticed over at Technorati that you made it into the Top 10 searches today, mostly based on the world discussing the Claudia situation. (And because some guy in Thailand(?) has linked to you REPEATEDLY, but I couldn't read a word to see if he was just seriously in love with you or debating internet ethics.)

So without counting the Thailand stalker, Claudia made you a hot topic! Maybe we should all go thank her now? Oh wait, she's gone. Too bad. :)



"Indoor Playtime for the Preschool Set"

I think you were asking about play groups, etc. Good luck!


Hey, found you through Metrodad.
1) Great stuff, and yeah, that Claudia had good taste.
2) I believe Brain Bleach = lots and lots of your favorite adult beverage.
3) Metallic chrome. =)


HIYA! Take that, you thief, you!

I have a myspace account...eeeeep.

I'm 28...does that still count as "kids these days..."?

I hope so.

Yay to Amalah...dont fuck with her army, yall...


That toaster makes me kinda hot.

Mrs. Flinger

Oh good holy hell. Just now seeing all this and I'm glad people will watch our backs.

And is it wrong that I have a draft of my toaster waiting to be published? No? Yes?

Well. It's a lovely toaster, either way.


that's the thing that's weird about bloggers offended by their blog-readers. they tend to give these offenders *SO MUCH PRESS* on their sites! it's insane! you're totally validating them. as far as your online life: just.ignore. it. and deal with it offline.


PS - for you and anyone else worried about content theft check out http://www.copyscape.com/


Bleach is needed, definitely. And some gasoline probably, too. ; )

Glad all is well again. People can be so strange. And well, thievish.


Hey anon ... (who has left an invalid email address, too). Sure, this incident got press. Sure, we talked about it a lot.

Maybe you could consider this, if you come back. Amalah here has opened part of her home, her life, her writing to us. She's shared.
This internet, its not just a bunch of anonymous people posting anonymous crap. It's how many of us make our living, whether it be blogging, writing, advertising, publishing, ecommerce, banking. Whatever. The internet is part of reality now, whether you want to participate in it or not. Sure, be a lurker. Maybe that's how you live your own life, lurking, anonymously, without really participating or coming clean with who you are. I hate to tell you, but I think we get one life ... it takes shape both online and offline, and how is that different than the persona each of us has at work, or at church, or in a specific group of friends? People stealing other people's stuff is wrong. It doesn't really matter where it happens.

I applaud the people on the web who are honest, who are open, and who embrace this place for what it *can* be.


Woo! Go Neomi!


See what happens when I go to the beach and leave the internet at home...I miss all the hott internet drama. Crap.

Good thing sillyhily e-mailed me as soon as I got home to tell me all about what I missed.

I also don't understand myspace. I blogged about it a while ago. It totally makes me feel old!! (But I did find my ex-husband on it and remembered why I divorced him in the first place!)

And I have the same toaster. But in black (of course). It's been good to me.


There's a quite good blog called Plagiarism Today that has relevant material.




To a person who enjoys the creative process, a plagiarist can seem like an alien being. Someone who can feel satisfaction from a falsehood and the most uncreative of acts is a strange notion to many. Yet, everyday, thousands of people do just that.

Even the Web 2.0 crowd, with their love for mashups, compilations and remixes, often don’t fully understand plagiarists. Plagiarism runs counter to the ideals of the community, including cooperation, respect and sharing. This, sadly, has caused some to lose sight of the bad guys that are out there and fail to take simple precautions to guard against it. This is a sad, and often frustrating, element of the latest trends.

Despite this, plagiarists are actually simple to understand. All one has to do is be willing to crawl inside their mind for a bit. While doing so, for most, is neither pleasant nor easy, it’s an important step not just to understand why plagiarism occurs, but also how to combat it.




Previously, I reported on Myspace changing its DMCA contact information. I can now report that the new contact information, which can be found on their site, is valid and does generate a response.

While I am a bit unnerved that it seems to take significantly longer to receive a reply, the delays could have been due to the changeover, a large volume of notices or just the fact it is summer and many people are likely on vacation. The important thing is that the information is valid and Myspace is still cooperating.




During my own copyright battles I have had the opportunity to work with dozens of different hosts and providers. My experiences have been extremely varied in nature, ranging from outright pleasant to deathly abysmal.

Please note that all of these ratings are based upon my personal experiences. Your experience may vary and, if it does, please contact me. I'd like to hear about it. Also, since my other site (the one that's plagiarized from) is a poetry/literature site, please note that most of the places I list will be similar in nature. I will list other sites as I have experiences with them or receive reliable reports regarding them.


Bye Claudia. *lol*


Holy shit, that sucks. Glad you are done with this saga.


At my bachelorette party this May, I received thirty dollars worth of cheap lingerie two sizes too big from Kohl's. I traded all of it for an equally priced toaster. Worth every freakin' penny.

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