Well, there you go. I am totally sure Claudia will never ever plagiarize again. In fact, I bet we've eradicated the problem of Internet plagiarism altogether.
Except that I am also pretty sure poor, put-upon Claudia and her Kicky Flat Mary-Janes have probably already created another MySpace account and this one is like, at least 37% gothier and contains 45% more Morrissey lyrics and you know what? She's GLAD this happened. WHATEVER. She's way too hardcore to like, care and shit, especially since her freelance writing is like, going SO WELL and she's totally making $1,000,000 a year now because she is AWESOME and she RULZ! PISS OFF H8TERS!
Thanks to Mrs. CPA for finding Claudia's page in the first place, and then taking valuable time out of her cRuiZing 4 MySPAcE hOTTieS schedule to tell me about it.
Thanks to everybody who chimed in with advice and pointers and offers of legal help and dummy MySpace accounts. Oh, and the righteous fury. The delicious, buttery fury.
But mostly, thank you for keeping the comments section at a football-in-the-groin, clown-car fender-bender level, instead of letting it escalate to the five-car pile-up it easily could have become. Thank you for not being all, "I'll see your plagiarism, Claudia, and raise you a DEATH THREAT, MWA HA HA." I really hesitated to say anything about...well, any of it, because good Christ, you know how these things can get.
(But of course you know I HAD to say something, because I am totally Fake Internet Drama's bitch, and also I pretty much had NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT, EXCEPT PERHAPS THAT I AM INORDINATELY FOND OF MY NEW TOASTER.)
Basically, thank you for not being totally monkeyshit crazy. If I had a MySpace page I'd like, totally friend you.
Now I must figure out how to make sure I never, ever use the word "friend" as a verb again, and to cleanse the images of dozens of seizure-inducing MySpace pages (white text on a zebra-print background, people! ZEBRA PRINT!) from my brain.
I'll probably need bleach, don't you think?