My Weekend, Or Why I Am Still Very Cranky On Tuesday
Are You Ready For Some Real Estate?


Could someone please tell me why everything has to be such a goddamn hassle all the time?

(takes deep breath)

(Internet rolls eyes, refills coffee and sits down, because HERE WE GO AGAIN)

So I signed Noah up for Gymboree. I don't think I can adequately describe just how jazzed I was about starting Gymboree. It just sounded so...parental, you know? So very responsible. So very concerned about my child's enrichment activities, which prior to Gymboree have involved chewing on books and breaking into child-proofed cabinets.

Also a pantsload of television.

But Gymboree! Fun! Socialization! And...I didn't really know what else, because the Gymboree website wasn't exactly helpful. It placed Noah in the Level 3 class, which is described as follows:

Children this age are adept communicators. They show what they want or need through actions, such as pointing at a toy or leading you by the hand to open a door for them.

Um. They do? Noah still takes a more...vocal approach to demonstrating his needs, although I suppose his ability to throw his arms up in the air so his armpits or any other grippable part of his body disappears into a single slippery, dead-weight torso is a form of communicating through body language. (TRANSLATION: WOE. MISERY. I HATE YOU.)

Level 3 it is!

Anyway, all week I kept telling everybody about Gymboree. "I signed up for Gymboree! We're going to Gymboree!"


If Noah understood a single word I said, he probably expected Gymboree to be some kind of magical candy boat ride to outer space, where both Steve and Joe from Blue's Clues live, where every bath is a bubble bath and no one ever makes you get out because you are pruney and the apple juice flows like wine.

So I hope you can understand my state of mind when earlier this afternoon, when we were ready to depart for our very first class, my car wouldn't start.

My car (WHICH I JUST PAID OFF, BY THE WAY, HOW AWESOME) is dead. I don't know if it's the battery or the oil or the engine or the hooziwhatsit manifold, but it is supremely dead.

So after attempting to start the car (WHICH I JUST PAID OFF, ALL FISCALLY-RESPONSIBLE AND DEBT-FREE AND SHIT) several dozen times, I finally gave up and got out of the car (THE CAR I JUST PAID OFF, IF I DID NOT MENTION THAT PART).

I looked at my watch and realized that Gymboree started in 15 minutes.

A normal person would probably just skip fucking Gymboree that day, right? Call and bump her enrollment to the next week? Take the baby inside for an afternoon of Noggin and Cheerios?

It would take at least a half hour to get there by Metro and required two bus transfers. So instead I hauled Noah to the street corner and hailed a damn cab, because I am determined (TRANSLATION: INSANE).

$8.50 later, I released my white-knuckled grip on Noah and extricated us from the elaborate seat-belt set-up I'd rigged around our bodies, and got to Gymboree just in time. I was sweaty and disheveled, and the outfit I'd carefully selected (yeah...shut up) was really just super gross by now.


The good news is that Noah had an amazing time. He smiled and laughed and rolled balls and climbed slides. There were bubbles. He's clearly a little behind the experienced playgroupers in his socialization, since every other baby there was indeed using hand gestures. The pace is fun yet frenetic, so I thought he did really well despite being a bit overwhelmed at times.

(I mean, I was freaking overwhelmed, what with all the songs I didn't know the words to and apparently I do the hand motions for Itsy-Bitsy Spider TOTALLY WRONG, so I guess we both have a little catching up to do.)

(And of course, there was the inevitable encounter with a little girl who smacked Noah across the face when he tried to give her a hug.)

(Whatever, it was totally just a pity hug, as she was one homely looking child. He can do better and he knows it.)

(Yep. I'm about ready for Noah to bring home a girlfriend. Meow!)

The bad news is that as an actual mother there with her actual child, I was clearly in the minority. (This is bad news because you KNOW I was hoping the Gymboree tuition money would also buy me a brand-new BFF.) Most of the women were nannies and babysitters, and the only other woman there with her own son mentioned that he had a Spanish class the next day and I thought she was joking and laughed, because haaaaa those crazy overachieving types.

Of course, she wasn't joking. God, I'm such an asshole.

(An asshole who took a taxi to Gymboree and then had to figure out how to get home now, and you know damn well she wasn't getting a ride offer from Ms. Perfectly-Coiffed-and-Manicured-Latin-for-Toddlers.)

Luckily, while I typically don't demonstrate the good sense God gave a fly, I at least had the presence of mind to grab Noah's stroller from the car (THAT IS DEAD) (YET PAID FOR!) before hailing the cab.

So I got a lot of exercise walking back to where I could catch a transferless bus (I don't do transfers, although I have no idea why), although the exercise was probably rendered moot by the Frappuccino I stopped for halfway through, especially since I ordered a tall (TRANSLATION: GRANDE) and they made me a venti. Which I took. And drank. Because the universe owed me.


I prepaid for 12 more weeks of this. We are all super excited.





So funny!!
Are 1 year olds supposed to like be all spanish speaking and stuff? Wow, I am going to be at a serious loss when I have a kid.

P.s Am I the first delurker??


Yep, sounds like you're learning all the lessons a first time mom learns...Gymboree/Kindermusik/insert baby-child classes are dope. At least for me they were. We tried Kindermusik with my first, and it was a wash because while he really liked the instruments he got, and the songs we learned, the other kids were not his cup of tea. And the moms and I just did not get along, I don't know why. *innocent look*

So with my second, we're forgoing the classes and putting the money towards diapers. And Starbucks. Because dammmit, I have priorities.


I'll be your BFF, I have an 18 month old-let's have a playdate! I'm not psycho I promise, I am sooo normal! (but maybe a little stalkerish).


I would have hailed a cab too. I can be very determined! Full of moxie! Also I don't know how to find that obvious point where a rational person would give up!

(At least Noah really seems to like Gymboree, if the wretched screaming upon arriving back home is any indication.)


That really sucks about the car, but is so very Murphy's Law-ish.

That girl that smacked Noah? Total lesbian. :P

Ms. Huis Herself

Delurking to say that my 2 year old daughter and I love our Gymboree class.
Of course, we started it after leaving the USA for Blarney, Ireland, so we didn't know anybody, and since I wasn't driving yet, Pumpkin and I could only visit places within walking distance, so we were definitely in need of some outings! (So it could have been horrible and we would have kept going.)

Now we are having actual play dates and stuff with the other moms/kids there, so don't give up hope for that new friend yet!
Best of luck!


What are you trying to say there, Michelle?


Seriously. Why does everything have to be such a hassle ALL THE DAMN TIME? Like, if the exterminator says he's going to come between 10am and noon, why can he not do so, and allow you to enjoy the rest of your day off of work? And after he arrives at 1:15pm and finishes his work and leaves, why must he LEAVE HIS CELL PHONE in your house, and then call you from his next customer and say "please don't leave! I will come back for my cell phone! In an hour or three!"

And then! When I finally did leave the house, my car broke, even though I just put $500 into it 2 months ago and it was supposed to be "good to go" for at least 2 years.

And then? The fucking Safeway grocery cart LOCKED ITS WHEELS and I had to drag it across the entire parking lot, which was about as much fun as dragging my cat out from under the bed for a trip to the vet.

But at least it wasn't Gymboree, I guess. I totally would have gone too. I cannot skip anything, ever, no idea why I am neurotic like that.


You continue to amaze and amuse me with your posts. You also make me so excited to be a Mom! Just 26 more weeks to go.


God. This is totally something that would happen to me. I mean, if I had a kid. And a car.

I fear groups of women, so I can only imagine what a group of women-with-children would be like. What with all the potential for judginess. And for finding out that other people's toddlers are already enrolled in foreign language classes. BAH! Note to said other people: get a grip!


I spend way too much of my time laughing at people who are totally serious. Your dog goes to petcare? And does art projects? BWAHAHAHA! Then I notice the paper plate with a blue pawprint hanging behind the desk of someone sending a very large scowl in my direction.

But, cab - excellent idea! Venti anything - even better idea!


I love Noggin!
My daughter hated those classes so after a year of $50 a month for a public tantrum, I vowed never to do anything "Mommy and Me" again. Ever.


Damn, you're a dedicated mommy.

I'm just impressed that you said Itsy Bitsy Spider right because some moms called it Eensie Weensie Spider and, dude, that's just plain WRONG.

Also wrong? A 41 year old woman saying "dude". Wrong. Just wrong.


wow - the cab thing, you are brave! and yay for getting out of the house. it takes effor but is totally worth it.


As a former Gymboree instructor, my hat is off to you! (And if you want the dirty little secrets of Gymboree, lemme know!)


I am sure the classes will get better. Good vibes to your car, that sucks! Maybe you need to find a good Mommy group to find a BFF. Too bad they do not have some kind of match making service for new moms that need to meet other cool new Moms. Well a good friend of mine found a great one through craigslist... Good luck!


Aww sorry your first Gymboree trip turned into such a nightmare. But at least it amused the internet, am I right?

And the woman with the Spanish class? Erm, WHAT? That is just crazy and stuff.


And Spanish, for a 12 month old, are you f-ing kidding me... Just wow.


LMAO... you never fail to crack me up...


i would so have been eating chocolate and saying the eff word way too loud to be acceptable in front of a toddler when the car would not go. and i would have said that my child couldn't go to spanish class because his shakespeare theater company and volunteer work take up most of his time and we only squeezed in gymboree so he'd keep in touch with the little dumb children.


This post is too funny! Especially the part about the mom whose kid is in Spanish classes already. A friend and I were talking today how someone we know has a 2 year old in Montessori. Who comes home with homework. Our big question is: what do they study? Block building? Pooping on command? Huh?!

Congrats on paying off your car!


No, Amy!! MEEE!! I want to be your BFF. I make awesome cheesecakes and people hire my husband and also beg to work for him just on the RUMORS of my delectable home-baked goodness. So please, let me be your BFF. (I also do free childcare, though the ticket to WA kind of nullifies the free-ness.)


Rosetta: Only a joke. :)


Is it sad that I immediatley spotted the Coach bag above Noah's screaming self??
Sorry that happened-but yay! Getting out of the house!


That was a pretty funny post. I felt your pain yet I waited for the next blunder. Is that wrong? Probably is. I hope you get your car situation figured out. No more cab hailing and bus transfering!!!


My niece is nineteen months old, and her mother started her on Gymboree a few weeks ago. Anna loves being around the other kids, although she's usually too shy to play with them. Thus far she's managed to escape slap-free.


I'm so glad you had a great time once you actually got there! We LOVE Gymboree. We've been going since my son was 3 months old (he's 7 months now). It's always the highlight of my week! Sad, I know.


This reminds me of that ancient movie, Baby Boom, with Diane Keaton. You know, that scene in the park where she realizes all the other mothers/nannies have signed their kids up for Advanced Latin, Level III, and her kid is eating sand?

For some reason, that other mother really irked me. Have we all lost our minds? Can we not let babies be bloody babies and let them enjoy Gymboree without planning SPANISH CLASSES for them?


Hey, I also go to Gymboree. Well kinda. We were going for a while, but after the first couple times it gets kinda, er well the moms here in Boca, Fl are not all young and cool and hip! like me, they are stuck up and blah. Plus the class is like the same thing everytime. I'd rather hang out with Joey and Moose A. Moose. Plus we bought the Gymboree Bubbles and he is getting a slide for his birthday. But good luck! Hope Noah has lots of fun. P.S. My son got Roseolla from Gymboree. Not a biggie, but you know germs..

Wacky Mommy

That's what I'm saying! Parenthood just sometimes turns out a little tiny bit different than what you thought you signed up for.


Ahhh, the fast-lane of the urban child. Start fillin gout Noah's pre-school essays now!


Oh, it will get much worse. ;)


If you had time to read, I would totally recommend the book "44 Scotland St." which has an overbearing mother character who makes her son learn Italian. And take saxophone lessons. And do yoga.

But, you're a mom, so you don't have time to read. So, I won't recommend it. :P


If you had time to read, I would totally recommend the book "44 Scotland St." which has an overbearing mother character who makes her son learn Italian. And take saxophone lessons. And do yoga.

But, you're a mom, so you don't have time to read. So, I won't recommend it. :P


Sorry about the double comment! I must have hit the submit button twice! Gah!


AAAAAHHHH! I am soooo stalking you now. But I'm a nice stalker, I bring you Starbucks when I worship outside the window. Because me? I totally would have gone BALLISTIC at Gymboree. I cannot physically sit through more than one rendition of kiddy sing-a-long without demanding it be broken up by a little Bela Fleck or some old skool Prince.

As for "Raising A Capable Neurotic" lady, I just can't buy into the whole kiddy language class thing. Kids are sponges, especially at this age, and putting them in those courses just seems.. well... redundant somehow.
Shoot, after a few episodes of Dora, we had to bust out ye old Babelfish to figure out that Jack was telling us to put the window down when he started yelling "Abajo!" from his car seat. Now THAT is some schoolin'...


I totally wish there had been Frappuchinos when I was doing Gymboree. Although what I always found myself wanting was a martini. Or just a few shots of tequila.

What? WHAT?


*frowny face* hopeful and encouraging thoughts to your car.

Can I just say, as a person thinking of starting a family in three years or so, I consider your blog obligatory reading. Kind of like nutritional guides about folate and stuff, but way more fun.

Seriously, sorry about the car. Good luck.


that happened to my car once....I think it was the flux capacitor.

Heather B.

That ending was classic! I'm laughing hysterically.

And vocal? Yes, very, very vocal. But I'd be screaming in someone's ear while gripping onto their shoulder if my bottle wasn't heating up fast enough, as well.

It's just how he expresses himself.


Please let me tell you that your blog is daily required reading for me. I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old and it's so nice to know that there are other women out there who indulge in adult beverages, drop the F bomb occasionally, and ROCK as moms. THANK YOU!


Amy, you are a much better mother than i.
i would have sworn like a sailor, played hookey from gymboree, and gone on a date with my good friends ben and jerry.


Okay - I gotta say it. I think the language class thing is a great idea. As some other commenter said "Kids ARE sponges" (emphasis, mine.) I - all 34 weeks pregnant and with no realism on the subject, so please don't laugh or put me in my place - would LOVE to do that. Actually, the kid is already going to be trilingual (English from me, Urdu from daddy, Arabic from those we allow our children to gleam religious education from) so I was thinking, "Hey, throw a Spanish tutor in there and that kid will always be able to get a job as a translator - even if it does NOTHING with its life!" I think job security at 3 years old sounds great!
Now, maybe I'm just being idealistic and the reality of having a kid will come smack me back to reality, but let me have a last remaining six weeks, please!


that was hysterical. "homely girl symapthy hug"-- hahahha. Amalah does the Itsy Bitsy Spider hand motions wring-- hahahaha.


That was hee-larious. Well, except for the Dead Car. And the Smacking Little Girl. And the Overachieving Mommy.

Although we have done an unstructured-type playplace to great success, I haven't done Gymboree yet. I was trying to save the Horror for the winter months, when the playground is cold and gray. I will have to remember this post, though. Yikes.


If you move to NoVA, you can go to the free Gymboree at Fairfax Corner movie theater every other week. My friend and I took our kids there every chance we could get until we realized that our children would rather die than allow us to drink Starbucks, eat muffins and watch R rated movies. But those first 10 months--that was heaven... My son, the whore, tried to make out with every girl there. The other moms thought it was cute. I knew that I would be cleaning out his air passages with a bulb syringe thanks to yet another cold passed down. Girls are nothing but trouble.

Black Belt Mama

If it makes you feel any better, I never made any friends there myself. Once I realized that the college nannies and I weren't going to "hang" I just concentrated on my daughter and pretty much ignored the other people.

I highly preferred the music class to the play class. Just something to think about for the future (if you can stand it.)


I am dying from laughing here (that last pic just described your stress so well..LOL!) I gotta say, in the best 90's phrase ever.. "you go girl!" It is truly a hard thing to get a baby out (no matter how old it seems)..out, dressed, changed, then re-dressed because their diaper leaked, then remember to bring their favorite duckie blanket (if you can find it..but then again the smell of that thing should make it easy for me to find diaper bag, snacks, etc. etc. and more etc. ...and get out the door. LOL
And I keep hearing how awesome Gymboree classes are. Maybe one of these days I'll grab James and try those out.. ya know, cause he's probably already seen all of the episodes of Wonder Pets twice.. LOL! Thanks for your post.


Personally, I liked just hanging out at home with my girls when they were little. I only put my oldest in a program when she was 3 and I realized she was pretty awkward around other kids, yet, surprisingly charming around adults. Plus I was pregnant with daughter #2 at the time and I sensed I may need a break.

Don't buy into what others say you should do, Amy. If Noah is happy at home, just hang there. Stress is no fun for baby or mom.


Not to overlook the leaving the house with toddler in tow saga but...the week after I paid off my car (my first car OH-how-I-loved-it-car) It was stolen. And burned. BURNED. I got the title inthe mail as I was filling out the insurance papers. Sometimes the Universe is Ironic...but not funny.


Man that kid is cute! I love the look on Ceiba's little face in the corner as if to say, "Can't you shut that thing off?!"


So I randomly feel the need to insert a disclaimer that I really enjoyed the Gymboree class and am looking forward to going next week. Partly because OH MY GOD OUTSIDE PLACES, but mostly because of the look on Noah's face when I set him loose amongst the padded mats and e-z grip balls and whatever the hell.

I will take cabs or multiple-transfer buses or solar-powered rocketships every damn week if that's what it takes to see that happy little face.

(Oh my lands, someone punch me for that, please.)

(Also: Was dead battery, nothing more, although we're baffled as to why it randomly died.)


well, this certainly qualifies as assvice, but please give gymboree or any other related activities you have signed up for a chance. i found the first few gymboree classes with my now 17 month old difficult, but he really enjoyed it and that overrode the nannies and hyper-mommies. you may not recognize us, but we only slightly more normal mommies are out there. and more importantly, would love to meet someone as funny, smart and sassy as you.


I think that most of us my age (37) got along okay without Gymboree. As in, mom stayed home with us and we socialized by going to nursery school at ages 3 and 4 (if you were me) and 4 only (if you were my sister who refused to be toilet trained until then, which was a nursery school requirement). Point what works for you.

My sister works four days a week and then, ostensibly, has one day "off" at home, on which day, the chilluns (5 and 2) are home with her. She loves that day, but she equally loves daycare. Because they are socialized. Very different from our upbringing, but it works for them. And her kids are the best--funny, and they know more, I'm guessing, than we did at their ages.

I mean, we're all demented in some way, but I'm willing to bet you can't trace it back to whether or not we had organized socialization time before the age of four. So, I say...

Do what works for you. And Noah. But mostly, for you and what you're comfortable with. Because he's one, and you're not going to fuck him up either way.


Wow! Noah seems so excited it looks painful. It must have been such a special day for y'all.


Hey, I can't find your email address anywhere, but I'm watching Criminal Minds right now, and I was wondering? Is that you?!? There's a woman on it and the picture they show of her looks JUST like you.


hey. i feel your pain. and i have a 15mo and live in DC. do the metro/bus/cab thing every day. currently combing the "DC parks and rec" schedule for the cheaper versions of gymboree, art and, yes, spanish. but that is a longer story. i burst out laughing at my first visit to gymboree. and it wasn't only because my husband was wearing purple floral socks he had just paid $12 for at Ann Taylor so that he could participate. anyhow--long story short (too late)--not sure what nabe you're in--but i am in a playgroup in cleveland park and i make a daily pilgrimage to the zoo and/or walter pierce playground in adams morgan. otherwise my dd would starve because i don't serve wood chips at home.


I love how Noah is peeking out of that left eye... just to make sure you're paying attention. Hilarious!


Amy, be MY friend!! My son is 12 days younger than Noah. He vigorously shakes his hand to say "no", but doesn't point or talk. And my son has lots of girl friends to introduce Noah to--and these girls wouldn't be smacking Noah around! (My son has kissed or held hands with some of them. Their mothers are cool with it!) You would always look fabulous beside me because I dress like a dweeb and haven't lost my pregnancy weight yet! (Then again, maybe you won't want to be seen next to me...) Oh, and I live in DC!!!


Love how uneasy Ceiba looks: "Oh no, was it me? What do I do now? Do you still love meeee?"


Are you going to take your camera on your next visit? Your fans would love to see Noah's happy Gymboree face too. ;-)

Glad your car only had a dead battery.


When we signed up for Gymboree nearly 2 months ago now, I was afraid I'd be stuck there with a bunch of snooty ass moms, since it's located in the snooty part of our city. After two visits I realized that the moms (only a small handful of which were actually snooty) probably envision me as one of those moms because I never had time to answer their simple questions ('How old is your son?') before I had to run off to chase him down.

Anyhow, Gymbroee is our most favorite hour of the week.


At least there are KIDS in your play class. I signed Will up for a playgroup at our YMCA. Several times it was just Will and one other little girl who cried the whole time... And what's up with trying to teach a one year old spanish?? At one they don't even speak english yet!


Cars suck.

You deserved that Frappuccino -- a super duper tall one, at that.


I laugh at your pain. But in a good way.


If you go to Gymboree on Saturdays, there will be lots of moms there. My son is a going to be a year old this weekend, and he isn't that into the singing part, but loves the parachute, the bubbles and the running around on squishy mats. I've met a couple of nice moms, but they tell me the classes during the week are usually attended by nannies. The key question is, did you get your GymBUCKS when you signed up?! :)


I tried... I really TRIED to like Gymboree but I found the same thing - a LOT of nannies and babysitters ..... and crazy kids! I was DERSPERATE for adult interaction and prayed that I would find a friend or two with a child similar to Julia's age.... didnn't happen.

Save your money and try to find a local moms group in the area - CLOSE TO YOUR HOME.

BTW - if you do start becoming a regular at Gymboree, those damn songs will be stuck in your head. You will also purchase a life time of bubbles....



Sounds about right with the car thing. One week after paying off my husband's car, the transmission stopped working correctly. Oh, and the cost to have the transmission fixed? More than the damn car was worth. So we hopped back on the car loan train. Damnit. We're both still pissed and this was over 6 months ago.


Gymboree. It sounds so parentally professional.

Or, perhaps just responsible.


Okay, I find it sad that kids are being given Spanish lessons before they can speak English. We don't have Gymboree here but we do have KinderMusik, which I loved and recommend.

Dude, you took a taxi? You are one brave chica.


Looks like it will take four cheers to turn Noah's frown upside down. Or maybe he's just upset about your car. It being PAID FOR and all...


That picture is hilarious! Sorry for your less than stellar experience. Um, it'll get better? I hope?


But did you save the dead battery and is it next to the tire? I'm sorry the first official Gymboree day was so crazy. We've never done Gymboree but I say if Noah loves it, go for it. And you'll be glad you signed up for it when the weather starts getting too cold to play outside and you've watched Blues Clues for the one millionth time too many.


Hey, my just paid off car's battery died too (this was a year ago), while I had my then baby boy in the back seat and automatic windows that were then impossible to put down even though it was like 90 degrees.

The battery died because the car was paid off. I think it's the car manufacturer's way of getting in the last laugh. Just to remind you that even though you are done paying for it, you've only started to pay for it in another sense. Now begins the lifetime of little noises and annoying problems that will make you want to trade that sucker in for another new car.

Sarcastic Journalist

Everyone here does Spanish classes, too. I found, personally, that more "normal" people do the cheapo classes at the local Rec Center...NO NANNIES!

Also, I would say that at Noah's age, my daughter's only commands were screaming at the top of her lungs and biting. So, he's ahead of her.

And now, she only plays with her poop half of the time, so we've made progress!!!

feithline Stuart

I was my kids Gymboree. As exciting as it all sounded, it also sounded like I might have to actually DO MY HAIR! So I never went. ;)


The things we do for love.

And I wonder exactly how much $$ Starbucks has made from stressed-out moms who are on their way to or from some kind of social event for their child?

Love the pic of Wailing Noah.


Sorry about your car THAT YOU PAID OFF.. In my experience, those classes always kicked the tar out of me (granted, I took twins)... so after my first attempt, I didn't try it again until this year (the girls are 4). Be strong!


i have a 7.5 (yes, that .5 is key) month old and i have felt that similar pressure to leave the damned house.
alas, gymboree?
you're in DC, right?
there's always jammin' java in vienna, va.
they have childrens shows every day of the week.
and it's way more relaxed and nobody will beat you up for not knowing gestures, etc.
just a thought.
i love it.


I went to Gymboree. Once. My kids had fun, and I kind of liked the parachute part (maybe), but the songs! The scary puppets! Chasing two little, not so much fun. I'd rather spend my money on their overpriced clothing.


Dora the Explorer = spanish lessons.


you are a trooper for taking a cab.

and Noah probably had more fun there then he would have at home with cheerios and TV

and because this is one of the cutest babies ever [ besides Noah ] - please look at this site of a hot canadian mamma who if you also look - has a link to Amalah on her site.

She has a VERY adorable baby


I did the Spanish lessons with my daughter for a while. Actually I signed her up for the Spanish lessons once she turned 3. That was because the 3-5 age group went on their own and the lessons were from 4 to 5:10 Saturday afternoons. Perfect happy hour time for her father and me.

Silly Hily

My sister's car died the day after she paid it off and I thought she was going to go through the roof. It also ended up being her battery.
I have one cute little girl. She just turned 2 in July if Noah is into older women. I just put a video of her singing A Whole New World so you can go look for yourself. Or let Noah look. You know, if he doesn't have anything better to do like go to Gymboree.


The 1st time we went to Gymboree I nearly died of embarassment singing the songs, but then I realized my daughter LOVED the damn place and we went every week for a year. I learned to love it becuase she did and it forced me to put makeup on and dress cute to keep with the other women... :)

Sarah Marie

A study in contrasts: Coach bag versus cranky baby.

Methinks the cranky baby wins this round.

Another Anonymous Mom

How shall I say this, at Gymboree you will either find lot of nannies or moms very freshly pressed khakis. These Stepford Moms have nothing better to do than to escort thier child to class after class (Spanish Lessons were just what she was doing tomorrow, Jr probably had Fencing class on Friday). "Don't you know how difficult it is to get into the right pre-school, dahling?" Take it for what it is and have fun. It's just great to get them (and you) out of the house!


What is the deal with paid-off cars, anyway, and anything else that JUST passed its warranty expiration? Why does shit stop working at the WORST times?


I only take my son to swimming lessons--most of the other kiddie classes are either scheduled when I'm working, or are too expensive for me to even consider. But we love our swimming lessons--1/2 an hour on Saturday mornings, just us and 3 other families (all with boys!), and Dylan takes an awesome nap afterwards because, you know, that's what water does to a person.

Don't know what we're going to do about naps after the lessons end. Maybe I'll throw him in the tub for a swim on Saturday mornings. (hmmmm. . .)


I hear you on the car thing! I just bought a new car, because I was sick of the one I paid off nickel and diming me! Hopefully it's just a minor issue and it won't cost much to fix.


Ooh, just wait until Nate starts taking our kid to Gymboree and he's not just the only parent--he's the only man there.

That'll be a fun one to write about.

There's got to be some greater karmic reason for the car dying. You'll see. You'll find a hundred dollar bill in the next cab you take or something. (One can hope.)

miss cavendish

A very sweet post.

Amy Jo Momma

Don't scare me...we were going to sign up for gymboree this week!

The Cranky Miss Hannigan

I love that you laughed at the Spanish for Tots mother. The kid is one year old and she's got him in a class? Sigh.

RockStar Mommy

Everything really IS a fucking hassle and I don't care how much the Internet rolls their eyes because, whatever, I've got bitching to do.

And Gymboree. Yes. There's a reason why we went once 3 years ago and haven't been back. Good luck with it!! :P


Spanish for tots? What the fuck?! Of course, I feel the same way about baby sign language. (I mean c'mon, teaching them alternative ways to communicate doesn't eliminate the meltdowns when they're too young to control their emotions in the first place.) And what's wrong with teaching your kid the basics on your own? Who doesn't know how to say adios, hola, uno, dos, tres? Professor (or should I say Maestro?) Dora will teach them the rest! So while I think the thought is nice, I'm a firm believer in simply being their parent - we'll learn their language of finger pointing, screaming and words like baba (ie bottle).

As for the little witch that slapped poor, sweet, lovable Noah...please tell me that her mother (or nannie) saw that and at the very least acknowledged and/or apologized for it! Because if not, that little girl will inevitably stop the slapping but she'll morph into the agressive, hand holding chica that Y is dealing with!!


Did you see Entertainment Tonight yesterday? They were talking about Matt LeBlanc's divorce settlement. Not only must he pay $15,000/month in child support, the settlement specifies that he must pay for Gymboree. I guess it's popular with the jet-set.


I have yet to go to Gymboree for that very reason-it seems like overachiever central. Maybe I'm wrong and just snobby. Oh wait. I'm also cheap. That is probably the real reason we don't go.

Spanish? For a one year old? Ok.

Wacky Mommy

Noah's birthday = T minus 8 days? Do I have that right

Is the car fixed yet? Same thing happened to our car once it was paid off. It was a Saturn, though, so figures.

Wacky Mommy

Do I have that right? that should say. Not, "Do I have any rights here?"


We did the Gymboree thing. But after the nine thousandth playing of the Gymbo song? I was ready to set that damn puppet on fire.

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