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September 2006
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November 2006

Would You Like to Hear All About My Dog's Bladder Functions?

Well gosh darn goodness, Internet, I've been so consumed with real estate and cat pee smells and posting a hundred times a day at Mamapop that I COMPLETELY neglected to tell you what's going on with my dog's urinary tract. I am sorry for this oversight. I know how you care. Deeply, is how you care. On Saturday afternoon we had our windows washed, which was 1) completely thrilling, 2) an example of the violent turn towards boring my life has taken, just like the time I countered Jason's offer of pointlessly fancy shoes for Christmas with a request for... Read more →


Signs & Wonders

And on the first day of the first open house, God said, "Let there be ugly." And it was so. Our open house was extremely well-attended by lots of people who absolutely loved our condo despite having absolutely no intention of actually buying our condo. Plus one lady who complained about a "cat odor." CAT ODOR? OH MY GOD. I know I joked about living in filth before, but...I meant I never dusted my baseboards, not rancid cat urine. I can't even tell you how paranoid I am about it now, walking around and sniffing everything because I don't smell... Read more →


Preserving the Evidence

A CHORUS OF LIKE, AT LEAST THREE OR FOUR PEOPLE, MAN: Um, where the hell are all the baby pictures? Bah. Okay. Issue #1: My Flickr photos (and yours, probably) are now being republished at Bitacle. I cannot express how much this bugs me. (Read this and this if you don't know what I'm talking about; if I try to explain it in my own words I'd have to include so much profanity that I'd get kicked off the Internet.) While Bitacle is being a little less douchey than they were a few weeks ago, when they had ads and... Read more →


Blastoff

Hours Our Condo Has Officially Been On the Market: 5 Minutes of Notice Given Before Very First Showing: 27 Number of Showers Taken Before That Moment: 0 Number of Beds Made Before That Moment: 0 Number of Toys Strewn Across Spacious, Light-Filled Living Room: 4,278 Number of Naptimes Officially Fucked With: 1 Read more →


Confessions of a Gymboreeaholic

This week's Insurmountable Odds Standing Between Amy & Gymboree: 1) No car. Still. We've had zero time to take it in for repairs, so just to let the poor useless thing know we haven't abandoned it entirely, I like to go outside and kick it occasionally. 2) No stroller. In Jason's car, despite the three separate reminders this morning to put it in my car, plus the way I chanted "stroller stroller stroller" as he walked out the door. He rolled his eyes and got all kinds of testy with me, because OKAY. GOD. And then he walked outside and... Read more →


Project Sweet-Ass Revealed!

So what do you when you're feeling burned out and hostile and generally fed up with the whole blogging scene? What do you do when you're tired and stretched thin and falling behind your deadlines and suffering from writer's block? What do you do when you're getting ready to move and you're stressed out and all you really want to do is curl up in bed and eat cheese crackers and never look at the Internet again? You start another damn website, is what you do. Duh. Introducing Mamapop.com, where I get to geek out and talk about television. And... Read more →


A House This Clean Is Not A Home

Hey, remember when I first said we were moving? That was...a very long time ago, when I first said that. In my delusional little heart, I thought we'd have moved by now. I thought we'd be out in the suburbs, trying to figure out if any of the neighbors were the poison-Halloween-candy types and doing suburban shit like...I don't know, apple-picking or whatever the hell. Our condo goes on the market this weekend. THIS WEEKEND. Who moved my cheese crap? And it's being offered at a price that hurts my heart a little bit. Although I imagine it will hurt... Read more →


It's Snot You, It's Me

(*rimshot!*) Soon after I posted The Entry That Proves Amy Could Probably Discover The Fountain Of Youth And Still Find Something To Complain About, Like Maybe The Fountain Is A Tad Over-Chlorinated For Her Tastes, I got an email from the always-eloquent Blue Poppy: Listen kid, you are ill. Your baby (okay, he's a toddler, but I'm not ready for him to grow up so fast so baby it is) has been SICK SICK SICK and all of that is deeply wearying. Deeply wearying. It can cause a loss of morale and energy. It can cause you to think everything... Read more →


Weekend Report: I Almost Electrocuted Myself

Dear Everybody: If you ever decide to replace one of those little wall light socket things, please pay a visit to your friendly household fuse box and cut the power to the socket in question, preferably BEFORE going after the old one with cordless drills and screwdrivers. Dear Amy's Hair: Lie down! Down! Dear Amy's Weekend: You are ON NOTICE JASON: Do you think we should keep this folding table? AMY: We own a folding table? JASON: Apparently so, yeah. AMY: Huh. JASON'S MOM: Did you say something about a folding table? JASON'S DAD: No. AMY: Stick it out on... Read more →


Alternate Reality Blogging

Oh my God. I can't even look at y'all directly. I'm so embarrassed. Let me stare at my shoes instead. Ah. Pretty shoes. Don't you know I have issues with taking compliments? Now I feel compelled to like, insult myself a lot. Or scan my junior high yearbook photos. Or maybe just go ahead punch myself in the eye. Anything to balance out the niceness, that I swear (POSSESSED PINKY-FINGER SWEAR!) I wasn't fishing for, nor did I ever expect in such massive quantities. Anyway. Yesterday was one of those things I just needed to write down and throw out... Read more →