Molarball
Alternate Reality Blogging

Ouroboros

Noah is still sick. I am still sick. Jason claims to be feeling better, but I think he just got sick of changing Noah's never-ending stream (ew) of sick diapers and decided going back to work was a good idea.

I'm sick of writing about Noah being sick. I'm sick of reading about other people's sick kids. The ClubMom gig has led to some serious mommyblog burnout, which makes me feel like an asshole, what with all the eye-rolling and God, can't anybody write anything that's not about their preshus boring baby, and also YOU! YOU THERE! GET OFF YOUR GODDAMNED PARENTING HIGH HORSE, CHILL OUT AND MAYBE THINK ABOUT GETTING A HOBBY THAT IS NOT CHILD-RELATED OMG.

(It just got verrrrry meta in here, didn't it?)

I guess I've veered into a blogjam, and I'm kind of stuck. I'm burned-out. I'm in a rut. I'm bored with myself, my writing, my whole "schtick" or whatever. Run-on sentence, lots of commas and modifiers, caps lock at the end for emphasis, rinse, repeat. Day after day. Over and over. Without the freedom (see: sellout, dirty whore money) to take a break or even (gasp!) walk away entirely.

Which is something I never would have even THOUGHT about doing until...I realized that I just plain couldn't.

Ugh. I feel ridiculous even writing this. "Hi readers! Thanks to your readership, I'm living the dream! The paid blogging dream! And now feel sorry for me while I whine about it, because oh, the pressure! 'Tis unbearable! Ack, alas, woe, bah."

Dear God, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Hell, I don't even feel sorry for me. I actually wish it were possible to deliver a backhanded bitchslap to my own damn self, because GET IT TOGETHER WOMAN.

(See? See that? Caps lock at the end. What makes me do that? Why can't I stop doing that? Why is it taking all my strength from letting my pinkie finger hit caps lock RIGHT NOW?)

(My pinkie finger! Is posessed!)

Yesterday I decided to write about something different. Something besides Gymboree or Blue's Clues or moving or yet another entry about the endless all-consuming joy that is motherhood or blah blah tire blah baby snot poop blah.

I thought, "Hey! I want to write about what a not-so-secret nerd I am. I want to write about how I spend my days refreshing Lonelygirl15.com in hopes for a new episode (damn you Sweetney!). I want to write about hunting for cassieiswatching ARG clues because seriously: am uber-nerd. I wonder if anybody else out there wants to go geocaching (damn you Sundry!)? I wonder if anybody else is obsessed as I am with all these YouTube vloggers all of a sudden? I wonder if anybody else knows how to pronounce the word vlog?"

And every time I tried to write something, I froze. I mean, Alternate Reality Games on a mommyblog? What if people had no idea what I was talking about? What if people just whined because I didn't include any baby pictures? What if I really can't write anything that's not about my preshus baby?

Somewhere along the way this stopped being fun. Somewhere along the way I became too aware of my audience, my critics and their expectations. Somewhere along the way I stopped doing this because I wanted to.

The other night I dreamt I emailed my old boss and asked to go back to work part-time -- just a couple days a week. He said yes, and the feeling of pure relief -- the feeling of an enormous weight being lifted off my shoulders -- was one I still vividly remembered when I woke up.

Bah.

Comments

Mary

Amy,

I love you blog, but I can understand where you are coming from...if I didn't work.. I would go crazy..

Good luck with whatever you decide!

foodmomiac

I love reading about non-baby stuff on so-called mommy blogs. I think the best blogs of ANY genre are blogs that let through the personality of the writer, even when that means we get posts that aren't always exactly in-tune with what we expect. My favorite David Lebovitz post of all time (a great food blogger, I'm sure you know that though) was his post about shopping for Levi's, and all the cute gay boys at the Paris Levi's store. It had NOTHING to do with food.

Mona

Oh the caps lock is a fickle mistress, but I LOVE IT.

And for the burnout, how about a break and a bottle of wine? Mad Housewife is one I've found to be fun and fitting.

Zoot

I don't get paid to blog, but I know what you mean. I have to really try to force myself to write about things other than THE BABY. I even set little challenges for myself - like, "Only write about the baby ever three entries" and see if I can do it.

God. I'm a loser.

Maxine Dangerous

I feel you. I don't get paid to write -- well, nothing creative, anyway -- but I understand falling into that icky muck of writer's blah. Not block. Blah. I think being paid to blog would be difficult. I reread my old entries on my blog (that I write for, oh the horror, FREE) and wonder who let me ramble on about my cats and going to the YMCA. You know, because cat hair and chlorine are OH MY GOD SO INTERESTING. (Hee! I'm Amalah! Just kidding. :])

Keep your head up and happy belated birthday to Noah. :]

reluctant housewife

I don't know if this will mean anything to you, but I read you because of you are a fantastic writer. Not because you are a "mommyblogger". You have the talent to make anything funny. Please don't feel obligated to only write about your gorgeous baby. We come here for it all.


Lisa V

I really like it when people write about things in their life that are unusual. Or maybe they are usual and we just don't know because they don't write about it.

Seems all I write about is kids, ER, Grey's, adoption- but this week I broke free and wrote about my underwear- now there is cutting edge for you!

Letterboxing is a lot like geocaching, but without the pesky GPS. Plus you do stamps which are cool. My friend says there are a ton in the DC area.

sweetney

you ungrateful bitch. heh.

I FEEL YOU. YOU KNOW I DO.

it'll pass. until then, take a break or whatever you need to. no one's going anywhere, lady.

Tamara

Although I seriously, seriously have no idea what you are talking about, this is your blog and you should write about what you want to write about, IF you want to write at all. Children just tend to consume as many aspects of a mother's life as they can get their little hands on. It's hard to maintain the other (nerdy?) part of you.

Zoot

Also - remember this: You have a a solid readership because you're a good writer. I care NOTHING about cosmetics - but I love reading your smackdown, even the cosmetic entries , because the writing is GOOD. So - at least over here at amalah.com - you know we're with you, cute baby pictures or not.

And personally? YOu know I love geocaching, right? And I thought it was just a geo-geek think until Linda started writing about it.

Higgy

I can totally understand your feelings. While reading about Noah and the tire is fun, I know that constant feeling of HAVING to write about them can really suck the joy out of doing so. No suggestions, just empathy.

Chase

Wait. You use your pinky finger for the caps lock? All automatic-like? I still have to stop what I'm doing and poke at it with my index finger.

Well, I guess that's why you're the paid blogger, huh?

I SAY, PRACTICING MY PINKY-TECHNIQUE.

carla

amy,
you ought to just do what brandon does...let the booze do the talkin' HA! www.onechildleftbehind.com
You are just experiencing SAHM burn...and it is painful & debilitating...I've been there. get the job~get some air!

Karen Rani

We all hit the funk.

*bitchslap*

Lonelygirl.com and cassieiswatching is exactly what I video-blogged about the other day. You should video blog! I bet you'd be very funny and cute. It's fun!

Hillarie

I work with the media and I am always amazed that (for the dailies anyway) they have to write something new everyday! But then they have an editor giving an assignment or perhaps their beat is Congress and then Oh happy week for them.

Anyway, I can't imagine writing something new like you do though I get excited when I visit (everyday) and there is a new post. You add to the Mom community that is out there and I think it is ok to write about where you are right now in your life. But what the hell do I know.

We could all talk about the PR reunion show last night and what a tool Vincent is. Or the super high shoes Laura wore- I mean, my GOD woman- they were high!

Tirzah

You're the bomb. Even if you can't see your creative blissfulness, we can! We see it in even the slightest of entries. Keep on-a-truckin'!

kathy

It's like a slurpee, Amalah, the whole, maybe I should go back to work thing. It looks great, and the frist few sips are fab, but then all of a sudden you get a big fat headache that won't go away, your tongue stays red for a week and you end the day with a stomachache. Then again the checks? from big company with comfortable chairs and surroundings that aren't your house? don't bounce.

Whatever you decide, more power to you!

Rahn

Everyone needs a break from the everyday, endless life trials we go through.

You have no obligation to your readership, only to yourself and your family.

Blog once a week, instead of once a day. We don't NEED to know the details of your every movement, each and every day.

We are not your stalkers, nor dime-store detectives who are closely watching your every written word for syntax errors.

OK, maybe some of us are, but not the majority damnit.

Take a break and live life.

We'll peep in from time to time to see how it's going.

pghgirl

delurking to agree with zoot...
i have no babies, don't own a house, don't buy expensive cosmetics
USE MY HANDS to put on my makeup
but i read all three of your sites because you are hilarious and an excellent writer

you could write about your kitchen sponge and i would probably still refresh 8 billion times/day

Brigid

Delurking to say that I like your writing. I don't care what you write about. That's not why I keep coming back. I don't use a purse if I can help it, I don't wear make up, I don't have a baby and don't plan on having one any time soon... most of the stuff you write about doesn't have anything to do with my life or how I live it. But I still enjoy reading about it because you are a very evocative and entertaining writer. Write about what you want to write about. Write about video blogging and lonelygirl15 and geocaching (neerrrrrrrrrrrd) and anything else. You have the skills to make it an enjoyable read. Thank you.

Starbuck

I concur -- I, too, am here for your awesome writing. I really don't care what it is about, I just like what you have to say and the way you say it. And I like you, Amalah.

I'm sorry for the pressure you are feeling to blog in a most spectacular way. Don't feel pressure from me -- I will be content to read your archives because they ARE spectacular.

Now, take this assvice -- have some wine and watch the Brady Bunch Movie. You know you'll feel better!!


e.

I've been reading and not commenting much for a while now, since before your were even pregnant! Like others, I don't read for the mommyblog aspects, I read because I like your writing and your personality. I like the caps lock. I like the baby pictures, but I also like the Ceiba and Max pictures.

Maybe you could bring back the haiku smackdown to alleviate the blahs :)

Heather B.

OMG!! I would totally do geocaching. Seriously.

Feel Better!

(P.S. let me know if you need a break or something. Next week that is...)

ali

it's not pronounced vee-log??

um...want to write children's books??? i'm looking for some grade 4 writers right now (writing for grade 4 kids, not writers who are in grade 4...just to be clear...)

Miss A

I used to have a blog, but I stopped for the reasons you cited: I became too aware of my audience, constantly wondered if/how they judged me, tried to write with them in mind. It's hard not to. But I will tell you that my favorite Amalah posts in recent history are the ones that were the most personal. They don't read as if they're being written for an audience. They make me feel like I've stumbled upon someone's private journal -- a journal I feel like I should maybe put down, but can't. Maybe this is an impossible suggestion, but it might be worth it to think of ways to tune out all that reader feedback for a while and spend some time thinking of personal issues to tackle through writing (provided you feel comfortable sharing, of course.) You might find that the stress isn't as much from the obligation to write as it is from trying to be an entertainer. If you can eliminate that aspect of it and make it intensely personal again, maybe it will go back to being intensely rewarding.

Starbuck

Ooh, Haiku!! I left a haiku yesterday because I missed out on the Smackdowns.

Also, LOVE THE CAPS, ((())), and !!!, not to mention gah, bah, and all the other Amalah-isms I have started to using daily.

Jessie

Um, yeah. After reading Linda's site about geochaching I totally stole my dad's GPS, and we're planning on maybe heading out this weekend.

I get the "must quit blogging" urge every once in a while - more so as of late. I think it's normal. I'm sure you'll get through it, and if you need to take a break from here, you know we'll be here when you come back, because your writing is just that entertaining and addictive.

divrchk

Um, yeah. I am a Geocacher. Have you been? The kids love it. They call it Treasure Hunting. It gets us out of the house and into nature.

Ruth

Who says this is a mommyblog? Last time I checked it was Amalah.com, not Babalah.com. Write about whatever you like. We'll read it because we want to, or we won't. We're not here just for baby pictures or momminess. We are here for Amalah, whatever that consists of today.

April

Whatever you write...I'll read. I was reading before you were even a "mommyblog". And I'll continue to read for as long as you keep this up. Write about the ceiling or the weather for all I care. The point of this whole thing (blogging I suppose) is that you write about your life and your experiences. The readers have the choice to click the little X at the top of the screen. But, who knows you could surprise yourself and find there is an audience for everything else you might want to say.

Don't feel bad though. I find it difficult to maintain a blog for a month. I can only imagine the burnout factor.

Sarah

Have you ever had that experience where you suddenly become intensely aware of the seeming arbitrariness of words and spelling? As in, why do we call food "food"? Who ever decided that Eff-Ohh-Ohh-Dee was a good way to represent that stuff we have to consume to survive? And then the word "food" will weird you out for the rest of the day. But you get over it.

I think everyone has moments of disenchantment and un-inspiration with their chosen lives and occupations. No one can successfully be "on" all the time, and that's ok. Do what you need to do to get through it. I love your writing style, I love your use of the caps lock, I think you're one of the funniest writers I've recently read (right up there with Dave Barry in my book) and for my part I'd read your blog if you decided to post about your hair, and DC traffic, and housecleaning, and never mention Noah at all.

Heather

As others before me have said, I obsessively refresh your site because you're a great writer. NOT because you're a "mommyblogger." I enjoy reading about Noah and think he's just about the most adorable thing ever. But I read you before you were a mommy and would read you even if you didn't write about being a mommy. I'm sure there are some people who are here for the baby pictures and parenting discussion, but I'm not one of them. And I definitely don't think I'm alone. I think that most of us would read you even if you were writing about watching the grass grow. We're here because you're a great writer. So you write about whatever you want to write about. I, for one, would love to see a post about YouTube and vlogging, and....some of that other stuff you mentioned that I've never heard of (but will immediately be checking out!). And if you need to take a break to get re-inspired, then by all means take one. We'll stick around.

Krista

I agree with Ruth. (Not that you care what I think, but I thought I would throw in my 2 cents anyway.) Your pre-Noah writing was great too! I'm not here just for the mommyblogging!!

CK

At the risk of being hated by every single commenter to follow:

I've recently been glancing through your archives just to enjoy the Amalah of old. Who wrote about anything, and made it funny. Whose entries varied widely in length and topic and who (apparently at least) didn't give a rat's patootie. Something happened, you wrote about it in hysterical detail, we all laughed.

I like the Noah posts. I like the non-Noah posts too. Maybe better, as I am not a mommyblog reader. You shouldn't feel the need to feed the Internet's obsession with babies, especially your baby. (Frankly, I am occasionally disturbed by all you "I want to eat Amalah's baby" people. Um, ew.) You owe us nothing.

I will be yelled at for the rest of the comments, I suppose. But you wrote a very honest post, and my first reaction was THANK GOD (caps lock!). So I am trying to be honest in return.

This is not a mommyblog if you don't want it to be. Take a stroll through your own archives, and try to remember what you enjoyed about writing. Because that's why 99% of us are here: the writing, not the topic.

meleahrebeccah

I read your blog everyday and I never post a comment, because I am not as "snarky", smart, clever, or witty as you or the others that comment / write here in blog-o-sphere, however, I am commenting today, because I enjoy your writing so much. I agree with ZOOT, I dont use/ware cosmetics either, but I read it because YOU WRITE IT. You are extreamly talented. The CAPS LOCK and all your punctuation tricks are GREAT, I, as a reader, can FEEL what you are saying. Your blog is so much more than a mommyblog or just words on a page with really cute baby pictures. Thank you for writing ANYTHING!

A

I am constantly grateful for you willingness to write on this site, to share your life and family with us. I am owed nothing, and expect nothing, and every new entry - whether about Noah or anything else - is a treat. If it's not making you happy, whether today or this week or this month, take a break, and come back if and when YOU want to. No one's going anywhere. (and feel better!)

starrynite

Jumping on the bandwagon to agree with everyone else. I LOVE your writing. I don't have a child but I do adore the pics of Noah because he is so totally unbelievably cute. But I would read you no matter what, because I like the way you write, not necessarily because I have a huge vested interest in what you write about.

I hope you feel better soon and not all pressurised. :)

Amber

I also get paid to blog, and OMG do I get the burnout. And don't get me wrong: I love what I do, and I would never want to go back, but sometimes, just sometimes, when I wake up in the morning and realise that I have to find new things to say about the same things AGAIN, and then do it all tomorrow, and the next day... Well, it gets old.

Anyway, wine helps, I find. And hey, I'm one of those awful childfree people who doesn't have a maternal bone in her whole body, but I LOVE reading your entries about Noah, and I don't think of you as a "mommy blogger". I'm also really impressed that you use your pinky for the caps lock...

123Valerie

Aw, A. I've got some premiums that could use jazzing up if it will help. They're even tech related so you could work your "nerdy" stuff in there, too.

If it makes you feel better, you're totally in tune with the heavens. There's a full harvest moon tomorrow, which leads to increased awareness of personal issues. There's literally a huge stress-ball build up right before (oh, right about now), and the full moon will offer a release tomorrow night. Hang in there.

starrynite

Also, do you get the British sitcom Red Dwarf over there, because ouroboros always makes me think of that, when baby Lister is found in a cardboard box and they think it means his name is Rob or Ross. Lol.

Amalah

*sniff sniff*

You guys are great.

I'll get back on track. I know I will.

Probably around the same time these motherfucking molars finally cut through my preshus baby's gums.

Kristy

I am another reader without children. I have to think many readers are, especially if they were around pre-noah!

So, I wrote something similar to this on my blog 2 weeks ago. I had blog block. Literally, my sister-in-law called me to see if I was okay! I just didn't have anything great to say, but felt bad saying nothing! Lose-lose, man, lose-lose.

And not sure what geocaching is, but if it has to do with getting lost and then found...sounds cool!

Clink

I don't get paid to blog and yet I still sometimes find myself resenting my audience. I feel as if they have boxed me in and if I don't write about my relationship, my trust issues or how I sometimes don't eat, I've let them down. It happens to all of us, all across the spectrum.

I'm just kinda hoping that you continue because, seriously, you're awesome. You have the distinct honor of being one of the only bloggers whose archives I dive into on a regular basis because behold! The brilliance! And the CAPS LOCK! And the gah! (Also, you have the cutest child on the Internets so therefore you MUST blog, even if only for the photos of him.)

TB

I don't get paid to blog per se, although my blog has made me about $6000 in the last six months for various things I've written or reviewed, which is really really nice.

But the thing I promised myself from the very beginning is that I would always do it for me first. That if I found myself censoring for an audience I would call myself on it. It's hard and I only have maybe a tenth of the audience you do.

So I guess what I'm saying is I feel you, but truly it stays fun for me when I do it for myself. People out there want to be supportive for the most part. Take advantage of that.

And now I will stop presuming to give assvice to someone who has been doing this longer and better than I could ever hope.

Jennifer

Everyone needs a break, no matter what they are doing. I don't have a baby and I don't wear makeup, and use (gasp) grocery store hair products... and yet, I love your site.

I think you should write about the cat more. Just kidding, cat blogging is my schtick.

Beth

sorry you've got the bah feeling. I'm not a dedicated blogger (maybe once a week if I'm lucky) but I know when I experiment with my style or voice or whatever, it livens things up for me. I'm boring as hell, and I think we all think we are boring and geeky to some extent.

I love the geeky side of Amalah, the mommy/baby side, the anxiety/depression side, the relationship side, the sarcastic side. When you had Noah, I wasn't sure I would keep reading because I didn't think I'd connect with the whole having a child thing. I was surprised when I still loved your blog just as much. It's not what it's about, it's not your Amalah-isms, it your honesty and humor (and talent) that makes me check your blog every day.

Having said that - I know you will take the time you need and do what you need to do. Blogging is about our own stuff, not our readers. I'm preaching to the choir now so I'll shut up.

But - I'll keep reading if you keep writing.

Phc

I hear you. I've been in a blogging funk since Blogher! How many months is that? Three?

I'm totally bored with myself as well.

Maybe a re-design of the template would help boost your energy.

jonniker

MeleahRebeccah has a point. Not that I haven't enjoyed what you've written every day - because oh oh OH, I have. It's that you shouldn't feel that just because you've been dropped into the "Mommyblogging" genre, you should feel like you have to keep up with that.

Write about what you want to write about - write to crack yourself up, write a monologue of whatever you're thinking, but write what you want to, not what you think other people want.

I get this. I don't think you're sounding like an ungrateful whinebucket at all. Anything gets taxing after a while, and writing isn't an exception just because a lot of people want to do it.

Kelly

As with all things, this too shall pass.

And if it doesn't, it's your life and you should live it the way you want to. I'm sure there are alternatives/options if you really need them.

Also, to reiterate what's been said... I read you because you're funny. Not necessarily because you're a Mom, or have a delicious baby. I'm a Mom, I have a delicious baby, I can manage. Write about whatever you want. We'll enjoy it.

Amy

I'd kill to work from home and be able to blog about my baby... although I suppose the grass is always greener. But seriously, I love your blog and sometimes even share it with my husband. Our son was born 9/9/05, so as crazy as my husband thinks it is talking about people we don't know who don't even live here in South Florida, he also enjoys your posts!

Patchie

I discovered Amalah.com shortly after you had Noah but I read all the archives. I enjoyed every single post, the non-Noah ones, the non-pregnancy ones, the ones where you complained about your job--even though I don't have a job, as a stay at home mom, and one would think I can't relate--because your writing is funny and clever and you don't mind taking a potshot at yourself every now and then.

That said, we all get into ruts. And need to take breaks every now and then.

Peyton

Amy, maybe you SHOULD (see, caps lock) take a break. I don't know how you stay home day after day...I could never do it myself. And taking a break from blogging means you'll have tons of stories when you do decide (and I mean WHEN) to start again. Even a week or two would be a nice break, hmmm?

Just don't take away the WAS.

sonia

Echoing reluctant housewife here to say I also think you're a fantastic writer. I'm not a mother, not a blogger -- not even an avid blog reader. I just tune in because I appreciate your writing style (caps and all) and your humor. Especially your humor. Do what you need to do, but just know there are people out here who hope it includes still doing this, too. And hey -- thanks for doing it this long.

Lizzie

I don't have kids and I have no immediate plans to get kids, and yet I love your blog and check it every day because you write so well, you make me laugh and I find what you say interesting, because of how you say it.
If you didn't write a baby-related post for a month, I'd probably notice, but I wouldn't mind in the slightest. Anybody can post baby pictures. I come here for the great writing.

Megan

I deleted my blog a few weeks ago, and it was the best feeling. I didn't get paid to blog, and I realize there is a big difference between "blogging is something I do to kill time at work" versus "I get paid to post my shopping list." But...it was nice to free myself from the blog. I started to resent it - I didn't *want* to write every day, yet I felt I should.

In other words, once something is no longer fun and becomes a chore for you...do something about it.

And maybe do a Club Mom post about parents who blog who do things *besides* write about their kids? I'm sure there are bloggers who also have posts going about *their* latest art project, or a new hobby, or whatever.

Leah

Just look at what happens when what you love turns into how you pay the rent. I can barely stand to read a book these days. Woe, misery, and yes, how goddamn lucky we are.

baileyswedishfish

Geocaching is DA BOMB. My team (Team Swedishfish) has a couple of geobugs going around the world right now. Launch a Noah bug and chronicle it's travels. It'd give you something to laugh about when Noah is older! :)

Do you still have a dog? What about the cat? And the new pet tire? ("Adventures of Spiffy the Whitwall!") Can you say something about them? Even dust bunnies make for great stories.

Amalah-babe, I think you could write about watching paint dry and I'd still enjoy it. It's what's in your heart that comes out thru your words...

The grass will always be greener on the other side unless you're living on a beach somewhere.

statia

I've been blogging for close to 4.5 years. I so feel your pain. Take a break and step away if you need to. Most of the time bloggers always come back, but the break can be refreshing to recollect your muse.

Zoot

By the way - I would like you to ignore everyone telling you to take a break. If you take a break, what will I have to read? No. I'm sorry. You will have to work this out in ways that continue to provide me entertainment.

Because in the end - it's all about me.

Heather B

all i ever blog about is feeling fat and my boy problems. i think perhaps i am the only one interested in these topics.

i tmakes me feel better to get a lot of the stuff i whine about on the internet off my chest without boring my friends. then again, i'm not getting paid for it or being criticized.

i don't know, maybe I would feel differently in that case.

either way, most of the time, you crack me up.

Sadie

Aw shit, I worried this might happen. Especially when I saw you typing things like "oh my heck" over there on your ClubMom blog. Amalah does NOT SAY things like "oh my heck," no, she says "Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker!" And I worried these gigs were going to suck the life out of you, just a little bit. I know everyone is offering alternative topic suggestions, so I will just add this: use more public transportation, that's always comedy gold & excellent blog fodder for you. ;)

Nancy

You know I've been to this bad blog place before. Take a break if you feel so inclined, or try something new. Haiku? Poetry? Graphics?

And hang in there.

Jezer

I really hope you write about those things that I've never heard of, because I am a nerd, and I need other people to turn me on to non-nerdy things. Also, I'm just plain buried in all things baby and snot and poop and holy-hell PINKEYE related, so yeah, if there's something non-mommy that would distract me for a minute? Please share.

Or whatever, cause you're still the coolest kid on the block.

Amy M

Love your writing regardless of what you write about! Everyone needs a vacation from work, regardless of what their job is: programmer, stay-at-home Mom, blogger, whatever. Go on sabbatical if need be. We'll be here anxiously awaiting your return.

I understand how you feel you've become a mommy blog. Since I had Niblet, I can't have a conversation anymore without him coming up! I've become one of THOSE moms! *runs away screaming*

Lisa

I'm a lurker...
A friend of mine sent me to your blog a while back because I was looking for people who are good! When I don't have any new posts from my favorite bloggers, I go back through their archives - methodically - 'cause I am a closet obsessive !
I'm at Feb 2004 in yours.
You don't start out as a mommy-blogger, and your initial posts are just as entertaining. In fact, you barely talk about babies (even though I think it was eating you up that you weren't preg-o). At this point in your archives, you are just starting to get non-family comments, and I notice with interest how your style starts to change - a little. Because of this, I noticed your paragraph above that starts "Somewhere along the way this stopped being fun. Somewhere along the way I became too aware of my audience...."; because you know... you haven't really changed that much. You still express yourself in pretty much the same way, your posts just got longer, and instead of talking about work and coworkers and commuting, you talk about Noah. You should go back and take a look at those old posts!
I am not a mom, and momblogs just IRRITATE me, because of all those things you say above. But, you are THE MOST ENTERTAINING blogger about being a mom! You could write about Noah's poop, drool, screaming, puke, and gymboree EVERY DAY, and I would come back ! In fact, when its all driving you nuts the most, is when your writing seems to be the most creative (like the naked running after the repair guy); and when you write a post like the one above? questioning yourself? I wonder, who should really be questioning themselves...?
you, based on your post?,
or me... the lurking voyeur who uses your personal admissions as entertainment? !!!

Velma

WHAT? WHAT? You mean to tell me that mothers have interests other than their preshus woogie-uggums children???!!!??

Seriously, I *love* reading about all the different facets of people's lives and personalities on their blogs. Geocaching and/or letterboxing is awesome, something my daughter has recently gotten interested in trying. As far as alternate reality games go, what mother WOULDN'T love learning about an alternate reality she could escape into?

Kiki

Amalah,daawwwling, I am right there on the fence with you 1. Because I am a nerd. 2. Because the pressure to produce writing worth reading is a rare form of torture in some countries. I don't have a mom blog or a baby, but I write about a specific topic (Alias- that is where the nerd part comes in) and even though show is dead and gone, people believe I have the answers to all their questions. Um, no. I still get about 100 hits a day, which is nothing, but 100 people care. They check and I feel butt-stupid if I can't produce something for my little cult to read. I even put the damn thing on hiatus and they still can't get enough. Okay, long comment, but I just wanted you to know- you could seriously write "I had a bowl of Captain Crunch for breakfast" on your blog everday for a month and I would think it's entertaining- and probably check in everyday.

Maureen

Hey, it's your blog. Write about whatever you want. I think you're always entertaining, whether it's about Noah or not. Me, I intersperse entries about pregnancy with entries about engineering. Sometimes I worry that the engineering entries will make me lose the few readers I've gained who I'm pretty sure came for the pregnancy and home improvement stories, but then I think, "Tough. It's my damn blog." I hope you don't quit, though, because I think you're hilarious.

Erica

Why not have a guest blogger every once in awhile? You have tons of commenters with lots to say so pick one, let them write a post, edit with an iron fist and post it to your blog. Voila, something new and different. You'll be the editor. You don't have to do it often, maybe just once or twice. While your "reporter" is blogging away you can drink wine, trip over things and have new fun stories to tell us later.

e.

Just a thought... I think you totally deserve a pumpkin spice latte. Quick, before it rains!

callistawolf

Forget expecatations. Write for you. If you wanna write about alternate reality games, you write about them. I can't help you with the whole contractually obligated mommy blogging, but on your personal blog you get to say whatever the heck you want, so please do. Try not to worry about your readers, we will still be here, Noah pics or no. :)

madge

DAMN! Here I was just lamenting the state of my beat-up Coach Hampton tote and thinking, "I should ask Amalah for some handbag inspiration!" But, alas, that's part of your schtick and, therefore, boring to you now. Or is it?

So, how 'bout it? Got any ideas for a hot handbag that can fit a wallet, phone, some snacks, two diapers and travel wipes?

Sharon

For what its worth, I find all of your blog endeavors to be quite entertaining and uplifting. When I started to really read your blog I was pregnant, and when I lost my baby this summer reading about Noah and your struggles along the way gave me hope (and I cant say that about too many things…to say it about a mommyblog? Seriously.). I know you aren’t looking for compliments with this entry but it seems like a good time to tell you that amalah.com does an enormous amount of good.

Don’t feel silly for posting an entry like this – if I never wrote about the times that my job drove me crazy I would probably be left with about 10 posts. :-)

Tere

So do it. E-mail your ex-boss and work part-time. You can only write best about what you're living (or have lived, if you want to do a flashback series or something), and so if you want new material, you'll have to do new things. Or get out of the house alone more often.

My diagnosis is that you're addicted to the computer and feeling a bit stir crazy. So shut the bitch off, dump Noah with a babysitter, and go have fun by yourself. I know, it'll feel weird. But then you'll have something different to write about.

Natalie

Amy,

I'm delurking to say that I'm a 23 year old (very) single, career oriented female who probably won't have children until she is 40, and I've been reading your blog for over a year now. You could write about your big toe and I would think it was funny.

So whether you write about baby snot or coach bags or watching paint dry, I will continue to read what you have to say, because I think you are great!

Miss W

I'm feelin' ya, Amy. I kind of don't actually blog all that much anymore because my whole point was the "I want a damn baby already!" and having that...well...cue the crickets chirping.

And of course there's the fact that you're paid to mommyblog and damn!

Write what you want. You know you'll still have readers.

Noelle

aw, i have no advice. i sometimes post daily on my blog and i sometimes pretend i don't have a blog. i love that i have the freedom to do that, so i certainly don't envy your position. hope things start to look sunnier soon! i think you're completely hilarious no matter what you write about, if that helps at all.

Mamo

I'm just finding it interesting that not one person has expressed support for your idea of going back to work part-time. I think the last two paragraphs of your post are very telling. Maybe you are becoming bored and uninspired by blogging. There's nothing wrong with that. I think working part-time outside the home can be the perfect balance to have the extra time with your child but also a life separate and apart from that. And you could still blog on the side if and when you feel like it, but it won't feel like a forced chore. And Noah could get social interaction in a part-time daycare program without you having the stress and frustration of Gymboree.

amanda

Amy, I love your blog because it is real and it is funny and it is HUMAN. (Your pinkie-finger possession is contagious!) I wish that I had known about you and Sweetney when I was living in the DC/Baltimore area. But back to the human thingy: people change, ideas change, feelings change. If going back to work part-time and reducing or altogether ending your blogging is what will make you happy, then go for it. Life is too short to spend it being unhappy.

el-e-e

Agreed with the previous commenter -- I think part-time work with a little paid blogging on the side would be the perfect setup. and that's pretty hefty dream you had.

I'm feeling the blog blahs, too. Not really wanting to even READ any today. Maybe it's just the season? Post-summer, pre-holidays? :)

Hang in there. You can write about CAPS LOCK and we're all riveted,so there ya go.

Amanda

word. to the mother.

shawnessy

I should say something supportive, blah blah, but everyone else did. I really just wanted to say LORD I LOVE lonelygirl15 and I've been watching her videos all summer and you just reminded me to check and see if there is a new one, cause I kept checking and checking and there was never anything new since the one where she and Daniel got into another (weird) fight. I'll go check now. Love Lonelygirl!!!

Liz

Same here. I'm another non-makeup wearing fan who's kids are teenagers so I have no interest in babies anymore (cause I'm closer to being a grandma than I am to having another baby, and that thought is too overwhelming), but I keep reading all your writing because I like your style.

Heatherg

You could always write about Y's boobs?
lol

lizpres

Yesterday Hashai asked why people always say "I'm the first to comment!" Someone said that it was because people are racing to win something, even though it is: "one of the most stalkerish behaviors I can think of." I immediately panicked and thought: Oh no! Then I am stalking Amalah.

I don't MEAN to stalk --- I just really like what you say, and want to hear how you say it. I'm not married, not a mom, I do live in DC, I'm 32 ... and you are just funny.

I know what you mean about getting tired of writing things in the same manner, because it gets repetitive in your own head, but out here on the World Wide Interweb, your writing is charming and entertaining. Sorry you are having a sad day.

Gretchen

Don't beat yourself up. Why shouldn't you be able to hate your job (whatever it may be) just like everyone else does from time to time? Just a classic case of burnout. You'll survive. Now hut 2, 3, 4 missy, write something funny!!!

Kyla

When you start blogging, it is about you writing about what you'd like to write about and people read it if it catches their attention. Once you are established, there is a tendency to write to the audience instead of write for yourself. You have to remember that the reason you have so many readers is because they like you, they enjoy your writing, they like the way your pinky can't resist the CAPS LOCK...you didn't start the blog for them, you started for yourself and we are all just along for the ride...don't let all the people reading keep you from writing for yourself...it is why we love you.

KJ

I'm delurking to say I luurrrvvve your site! I do come for the writing and the utter hilarity of it all. Who knew a tire in a hallway would be great material? Or a baby on a TiVo?

I don't have a baby, but I have sisters that do and that are both stay at home moms. And I know that hands down they do more work in a day than I do (me? I've been reading your archives all week!) So you do what you have to do for you and that awesome family you have!

We? Will still be here when you're back. In the meantime, I will continue to catch up on the archives to get my daily amalah fill.

Maeven

" I wonder if anybody else is obsessed as I am with all these YouTube vloggers all of a sudden? I wonder if anybody else knows how to pronounce the word vlog?"

Maybe there should be a new word... You-log

Mmm. Yule Log. Christmassy.

hehehe

OneSmartCookie

A few other people have made some good suggestions that I feel compelled to act upon.

Good suggestion #1: More Haiku

We love Amalah
We hope she will keep writing
Or else we'll be sad

Not a mommyblog
Write what you want, woman
and we will read it

Drool is not much fun
Neither work and meetings
Lottery is good

Good suggestion #2: Guest posts

The Many Loves of Amalah Readers

Amalah readers love her for her ability to laugh at herself and the world as a whole. They love the snark with which each day is approached and they especially love the tire.

They love hearing about Starbucks and the hated zoo and they love Amalah because of the fact (or perhaps inspite of the fact) that she has a yappy purse dog. They love Amalah for being a city loving yard hating urban chic on the outside and a mom willing to take bus transfers to take her son to Gymboree on the inside.

They love her for her absurd fears (volcanos - in DC!) and her hair and makeup tips. And because she loves wine and burritos.

But most of all, they love Amalah for herself. For the whole collection of things that came together along with a hell of a lot of good writing to make her witty and sarcastic and the proud owner of a site that has all us folks hitting refresh approximately 1 billion times per day.

And even if someone wound up here simply because Amalah writes about Noah, or her dog, or volcanos, or WHATEVER - that's not the only reason that they stayed. They all stayed because they heart Amalah no matter what she writes about.

Good suggestion #3: Do whatever the hell you want.

'Nuff said. It's your life - we're all just lucky to have a little glimpse into it and be entertained by it.

jes

You've tapped into my inner-nerd, what with all this talk of geocaching and lonelygirl15.

Anne Glamore

Hey-- Don't be so hard on yourself. We all get in ruts whether we get paid to blog or not, whether we work at home, out of the home, or for the home, and whether we have a PRESHUS BABY or boys with stinky feet. People tune in to your site because of YOU (caps lock is catching!) and the way your writing seems effortless. It's fun to see what you and your family are up to. I'm pretty sure you could write about taking a leak and we'd all read in wonder and appreciation. We even like reading when you complain. Which you're entitled to do.

As my mom would have said, "You get a star in your crown" just for doing what you do so well.

The pix of Noah are gravy!

Robbie

i am not laughing at your pain, but that entry was a delicious read- better, i think, than you might realize, and in and of itself, a nice change of pace and so damn easy to connect with.

Mrs X

Obviously you're more than just a mother writing about being a mother. You had this blog before Noah was here and you managed to write non-baby related posts that people loved. I think it's fairly safe to say that you aren't going to lose your readership if you decide to add in something new.

Kristina

OK, so I'm really selfish and my first reaction to this post was all "Aack! OH MY GOD! No, no Amy don't leave us! No sabbaticals - no breaks! Just no!" And then I pulled myself back together and realized that I often don't blog for 3-5 days at a time because I feel like I don't have anything to say (and my blog is all about my child/family because my family all read it) so really, who am I to freak out? I love your writing, read all 3 sites, and will still check in daily (or multiple times a day if I'm honest) even if you post sporadically. Your writing is just that good.

Asha

This blog (and to a lesser extent, the ClubMom blog) is yours to make of what you will. It will change as you change, and the readers who know and love you will either stay or they will go (most will stay).

best of luck as you refresh...

Kate

I'm not a mom but I have no problem with mommy blogs. I actually would have to say that I consider you a mommy blog, but that's not a bad thing! As at least one other person has said, it's not so much about the topic as it is the writing. I read you because I like your style.

That said, what hooked me on your blog was your Advice Smackdown. You can write about makeup and hair products until your fingers fall off and I'll still be reading. Seriously.

Y from the internet

Take up Aerobic Dancing. You'll have assloads of shit to write about. Because wimmins be getting CERAAAAAZY in Aerobic Dance class.

Also? I feel sorry for myself because you never write me back.

And I miss you, goddammit.

Maddie

I think that in blogging, like in pooping, if you have to push, you don't have to go.

Let it flow, darling!

P.S. If you work, you will make us working fools feel way better about our logs, er, lots in life.

margalit

I'm so with you, sistah! At least you get paid to blog about something interesting. I have to blog about internet security. Can you actually believe that people want to read constant updates about identity fraud. It gets old fast. I'm thinking about a part time job myself. I wish I could do kitchen design. Now that looks fun!

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