Alternate Reality Blogging
It's Snot You, It's Me

Weekend Report: I Almost Electrocuted Myself

Dear Everybody: If you ever decide to replace one of those little wall light socket things, please pay a visit to your friendly household fuse box and cut the power to the socket in question, preferably BEFORE going after the old one with cordless drills and screwdrivers.

Dear Amy's Hair: Lie down! Down!

Dear Amy's Weekend: You are ON NOTICE


JASON: Do you think we should keep this folding table?

AMY: We own a folding table?

Apparently so, yeah.


JASON'S MOM: Did you say something about a folding table?


AMY: Stick it out on the curb. We don't need it.

JASON: Are you sure? I mean, we MIGHT NEED IT.

JASON'S MOM: That's a nice folding table.


JASON: I think we should keep it.

AMY: Name one instance when we would need a folding table.

JASON'S MOM: I could use that for a buffet table!


We...we might need a buffet table! You know, for parties.

AMY: We don't throw parties.

JASON: But we MIGHT throw a party when we have a bigger house.

JASON'S MOM: I throw parties!


AMY: We know like, five people. We will make due without a folding table.

JASON: But...maybe...the...basement?

AMY: Put the folding table on the curb. We don't need a folding table.

JASON: *clutches folding table frantically*

JASON'S MOM: *eyes folding table frantically*


*grabs folding table, marches it out to curb, where it vanishes 15 minutes later and I swear to God, if I find out Jason somehow snuck it into the car bound for the rented storage unit I will bludgeon him to death with one of the four sets of skis he also refused to give away*


1) Broken baby gate
2) Stepstool, used by me to reach top kitchen cabinets, that he used to trip over all the time and complain about why I had to keep that damn stepstool out all the time Jesus Christ
3) Some random IKEA shelf insert belonging to an IKEA bookshelf we no longer own because I made him throw it out last year to make room for the crib
4) A poster that got rained on when we moved last time
5) Four pieces of tile from first kitchen floor we had installed but was installed wrong and had to be re-done, which was okay because we changed our minds about the tile color anyway and yet we still kept this stack of extra tiles on the dining room floor for over a year Jesus Christ


1) Seven Blue's Clues plates, four Blue's Clues napkins and one deflated Blue Clue's mylar balloon from Noah's first birthday party
2) Every item of clothing that Noah has ever worn
3) My collection of fancy shopping bags
4) My collection of gift boxes and tissue paper because I sometimes ask for boxes even when buying stuff for myself because you can never have too many gift boxes. Seriously! 37 gift boxes is not too many!
5) The broken TiVo because nooooooo we can repair him! We must repair him! Don't you realize what the Wednesday night line-up looks like these days?


"We don't need to hire a painter. I will paint our kitchen myself. In 30 minutes. Watch me. Right now. Well, right after I patch the walls. And then sand the plaster down. Okay, and I guess I better tape around the cabinets. Oh wait, do we have primer? Okay, now I'm ready. I will paint. Just watch me."


"Now where the fuck is my stepstool?"



Holy crap. I've elecrocuted myself before. I blame it for all sorts of current weird behaviors, though I'm quite sure that particular instance had or has anything to do with them.

Le sigh.

Good luck finding that step stool.


The only time our house looked just like I had always meant to make it look ... was right before we sold it. Amazing how much "higher asking price" can motivate you to do something about all those nagging home repairs.


I think I see it behind the folding table.


Oh, I am a fancy shopping bag hoarder. I think because it reminds me that I *once* bought a tie at Christian Dior. Gone are those days of non-baby related spending. Now all I have are plastic bags from Target.


I am so showing my husband your blog today. Because he totally thought I was the only one in the world that kept fancy shopping bags (but it's from the FRENCH QUARTER! I don't care if it's a plastic bag!).



I am home today with sick kiddos and I literally just this morning purged my gift bag collection that was breeding under our bed. And the painting itself is not so bad. I kind of like just painting. It's all the damn prep work that sucks!


Baby things are sacred... folding tables? Not so much.


One word: declutter. :)


Let me just say Moving totally sucks!


My son's first birthday "theme" was Elmo,and I still have some napkins,plates and the candle!! Which for some strange reason was Big still makes me crazy to think about it!! Why is it that men always wanna throw out the good stuff?

I also have almost every item of clothing EITHER of my children has EVER worn. It might be a sickness,but I don't give a rat's ass because I gots a basement and an attic!!! You know you are jealous of my storage capacaties!!! OMG-I just realized that I can get more stuff!! WOOHOO!! the blog
Always do...
Rock on,my Sistah!!


i'm with you on the gift boxes and bags, man. 37 gift boxes? why, that's a trifle!

[in voice of Roy Scheider:] i think you're gonna need a bigger house.


I electroculted myself bad enough that it knocked me on my butt. Twice. The same project!


Bwah ha ha ha ha! I never give in to Dave and he never gives in to me. However I win because eventually he always puts the stuff I want to keep in the attic, and I deliver the stuff he wants to keep to Goodwill while he's away at poker night. So far, so good. He's only ever reported one thing missing, and it was a shirt that I eventually convinced him he had one time painted in and ruined. The truth is that it is in perfectly good condition at Goodwill. Perfectly good condition except for the condition of UGLY, that is.


I have a collection of fancy shopping bags!!!

My husband is talllll talllll and has promised that when we live together, he will help me take things off the top shelves.

He also is saying when he moves here, he will not being anything other than a few outfits and HIS FIRST TOWEL which MY GOD has more holes than actual towel.


But why is Mount Rainier on notice? What did it ever do to you?

Heather B.

I used to keep all of my Stuart Weitzman bags and then catch all the (other) pretentious women staring at my bag wondering how I could afford Weitzman's then I'd give them an evil death stare because YES! I can (ok, could) afford Stuart Weitzman's and then I'd show off my cute ballet flats.

SO! I totally understand the keeping of the fancy store bags. I also have a Tiffany bag from lord knows how long ago and the Kate Spades that i've been collecting over the past few months.

It's just affirmation to others and it makes you feel better about yourself. And no one else knows that you actually got stuff on sale.

Y from the internet



Why are you painting? I loves the blue kitchen.


Ah, purging is always fun.

It's also fun watching the stuff you put on the curb disappear within minutes. People are vultures, you should set up a sting to see the crap people take because it's free.


You look extremely pensive in that last picture--sort of like the modern day Thinking (Wo)Man.


Ahh, moving is SUCH fun.


Oh lordy, Amalah. You do not even need to speak of the packratty husband...mine is driving me ca-RAZY right now. We bought new bedroom furniture last month (I know! and after only 6 years of sleeping on a plain old mattress, with scrounged dressers!), and that would be great, except that said scrounged dressers are currently sitting in my dining room, because, you know, we might want them someday, he says. I say: UGLY! WITH BLUE BUNNY DECAL!! AND MISSING KNOBS!!

I didn't even want them when I didn't have OTHER, PRETTIER dressers, and I sure as hell don't want them sitting incongruously next to my dining room table.

Jesus Christ, I get one room of the house looking decent, only to have all the junk shift to another room.


Mt. Rainier is apparently acting in semi-suspicious-volcanic ways, with earthquakes and shit. ON NOTICE.

As for painting the blue kitchen? Well, with a purple front door, an orange living room and a flipping oak tree in the baby's room our realtor suggested that maybe, JUST MAYBE we should paint the kitchen a nice, non-seizure-inducing white.


I have one of those husbands who has problem letting go of his stuff. Once, he didn't talk to me for a whole day because I took a set of whiskey glasses to the Goodwill, granted "I" had won them at his company Christmas party and they were nice but, A) He hadn't worked there in like five years. B) They had been packed in a box for two years and never asked where they were. and C) We don't drink whiskey. The way he carried on you might think I had sold the cat.


I recently had to clean out the nursery closet (read holding cell for crap we never use and haven't seen since we moved in). Thank goodness I had the foresight to do it when my husband was at work! Any advice on what the hell to do with my wedding dress?


When my husband and I were married, I moved into his home and proceeded to get rid of 12 years of CRAP he had in every closet and cupboard. He was happy to let me do this (since he obviously was not going to) but I had to do it when he was gone or I would have had to keep every box that everything he ever bought came in.

Because who knows if you're ever going to send it in for repairs?

Here's a clue: You're never going to send in a 12 year old VCR in for repairs. Ever.

My name is Contrary and I married a packrat.


You should call Tivo about the broken box. Ours broke recently (devastating; it was the morning before the Grey's Anatomy season premiere). I happened to call to ask about how the rebate worked when you bought a new Tivo, and they offered me a completely free Tivo, with free shipping even, despite the fact that I had no warranty, just because they are really nice. I love tivo so much that I took them up on that offer, and went out and immediately bought a replacement dual tuner tivo also (which was only $80 after all the rebates). Now, we have tivo everywhere. You too could have free tivo.


I love fancy gift bags! My husband is always trying to throw them away. They get used eventually- I swear!!! And don;t even get me started on wrapping paper, gift boxes and tissue- don't even look under my guest bed! You will be eaten by the boxes!

Lisa Ann

Nary a mention of the tire?


It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who saves fancy shopping bags... They're so pretty! And useful! Not that I'll used them or anything because then they may get damaged.

I was cracking up reading Jason's Dad's responses :)


Sounds like we all had moments of domestic bliss this weekend.

I got electrocuted from an electric pencil sharpener. And I wasn't even shoving metal things in either, just the dam pencil.

Have I mentioned IT WAS IN MY CLASSROOM? And the KIDS are supposed to sharpen their pencils? Hell no.


Er, damn. I can spell, I promise.


The conversation about the table is one I know all too well. My boyfriend's entire family are huge packrats. I once witnessed a fight over a cat dish they got at a garage sale years ago. His mom asked one sister if she wanted it, then the other sister said no, SHE wanted it, then it got offered to us, I declined, and the original sister got it.

I am the only one who actually has a cat. And the bowl was ass-ugly.

Salsa Queen

He throws away your stepstool, but keeps the tire??!! I still think the tire is the new toilet seat.


That photo of you is super cute and very funny! Post more pictures of yourself, Amy! :)


Sorry about the hair. Also the baby clothes. My husband made me get rid of practically all the baby clothes and now I wish I had the outfit my girls wore home.

Also, I think you have inspired me because my house is becoming more orderly, too. We've made trips to the dump and Goodwill. I feel tidy!!

A tip: Just make sure your neighbors have a folding table you can borrow. That way you don't need to store one yourself. That's what we do. ;-)


OMG! It is such a man thing (I think) to keep such stupid stuff. My husband seriously has keep every magazine he has EVER bought. Like he may someday "read" that 1975 National Geographic. Seriously! I have hidden stuff in the trash to go out and he knows! He has some kind of radar and will dig through the trash!! Drives me crazy. So good luck with that, and I will just bet you that when you move you will find a lovely folding table!! Ha!


I SO have this same conversation about the same items with my husband every six months.

He secretly dumps my fancy shopping bags. Usually right before I need one to lug a bunch of stuff to the cleaners.

And I agree with Mona. I don't have quite as many cool shopping bags now that most of my purchases come from Target--oh wasteful pre-munchkin shopping!!


There are too many hilarious things here. I don't even know where to begin. So instead.....

Ahhhh, pretty blue walls.


And my husband wonders why I totally refuse to call a realtor.

PS: I, too, am convinced--CONVINCED--that I can do ALL the necessary painting. Convinced.


When we moved, I was forced, FORCED I tell you to not only throw out the giant fancy shopping bag stuffed with carefully folded smaller fancy shopping bags, but also to throw out ALL the pretty baby shower gift bags I had received. The gift bags! That contained the first gifts I was ever given for my preshus first baby! And I had to throw them out! Okay, so there were a LOT of them, but still.

Bozoette Mary

Oh, I can SO relate! "When did you last use that?" "Oh, I can't remember, but I need it!" "No you don't!" "Yes I do!" And then it all goes downhill from there.


Ugh...we're contemplating the moving business...and this makes it seem even LESS appealing. :P Glad you survived the electrocution. :)


Hah! That conversation could have been between me and my husband, except reverse the roles and make me the pack rat. He threw away so many (good! useful!) things when we moved the last time.

PS -- why is Mt. Rainier on your hit list? Just curious. ;p


Dear self,

Please read the comments on Amalah before you post yours, because chances are she's already answered the question you asked.



I'm at a loss for what to say, as I have lived this exact scenario (right down to the damn electrocution) far too many times. And uh, seeing as we're moving too, the paint sitch is eerily familiar too.

So I guess I just have more pity, I mean sympathy, for you than anything else.


Mount Ranier? I take personal offense to that, seeing as I live so close to it. It being a freaking active volcano. And oh yeah, you have that thing about volcanoes.


Don't take personal offense! It is ON NOTICE because I care! It is ON NOTICE because I am giving it a stern slap on the wrist with a ruler to CALM DOWN SIT STILL and STOP WITH THE ERUPTION NONSENSE.

It is ON NOTICE because I don't want y'all to die in a fiery storm of ash and lava and oh my god, this isn't even funny anymore i need more wiiiine wah fucking volcanoes


How about this one?

I'm selling my house and most of the CRAP I have to get rid of is broken stuff left behind by my ex-husband. Also included in the CRAP are two tall file cabinets full of his collection of manuals for synths and keyboards.

Also credited to him is the complete lack of yard (but not land), random shelving installed in a closet which will now only around 3000 CD's, and the faucets in the bathroom (yes, sink AND tub) turning a complete 360 degrees after he fixed them. Hell yeah, he fixed 'em good.

Mrs. CPA

I have wine and no volcanos in Alabama. Would you like to come over? You can visit Zoot in her natural hobitat along the way.

Are you scared of hurricanes and mosquitos? What about St. Bernards (she doesn't eat small purse dogs)?


HOLY SHIT!!!! I actually sat here and read this post to my husband. And we died. We died laughing. I totally owe you something. Like a folding table or a step stool.

Mrs. CPA

Zoot's not a hobit. Sorry - habitat.

Note to self: don't drink wine and try to comment.


And I almost forgot - I live in the best neighborhood for getting rid of your crap on the front lawn. Quickest to go: a set of kitchen chairs and a lamp from K-Mart. Longest to stay: a stand alone freezer that I labeled "FREE-zer."


I'm almost too ashamed to ask..... but how does Tivo work? Do I need cable for it to work? It seems that I only watch the three main networks, so those are the only channels that I record.

Wacky Mommy

The only way anyone's getting my gift bag and box collection is by prying it out of my cold, dead fingers. It constantly evolves! It grows like Amish Friendship Bread! Give one away/get three in return.

Don't sweat the volcanoes. I don't, and I live right across the river from Mt. St. Helen's. My mother-in-law e-mailed me from Europe a couple years ago: "Is the mountain erupting?" I e-ed back: "Huh?" They were worrying about it abroad. Those Europeans are so sweet that way.


I never give gifts. I give gift cards or really good liquor. But gift bags? Oh yes, I have gift bags, in all sizes and shapes.


I followed a strict rule last time I moved: If I hadn't used it in a year, it wasn't kept. I wonder what I would have done if there were things I didn't even know I had (like a folding table). I probably would have brought it with me and considered it a sign. From whom, I don't know.


Can I ship yur father-in-law up to Lawn Guyland to help me get my parents out of their too-gawddamn-frickin'-cluttered house? Huz and I can always use an ally.

Sarah Marie

So did the Blue's Clues stuff and shopping bags actually end up in the trash??? I'm guessing from the wording of your two lists that you got to keep what you wanted. As it should be.

Now we have a support group for hoarders of fancy shopping bags too! It is fitting somehow that the demographic should overlap with the toe-shaving support group.


So what's the status of the tire? No more Tire Watch 2006?

la dolce vita

OMG, I am so happy to see that someone else's husband is a box freak! Why, why, why?!?! My husband insists on saving every friggin box that anything we purchase comes in "just in case" we have to return it. Our porch literally teeters with empty boxes poised at the ready for the return of any faulty merchandise we may have purchased over the last year. Thank God the town we live in has an annual put out day where we can haul whatever and however much crap we have out to the curb and they will take it away. Every year there is a MOUNTAIN of cardboard at the curb in front of our house...only to begin the year a new. This year's put out day is NEXT MONDAY...which should give you a idea of just how dangerous our porch is at this moment.

It is a comfort to know that I am not alone...


It's funny you post about putting stuff OUT to the curb when just last night I was stalking the house down the street- lying in wait for the kids hanging out front to go home, to bed, whatever- so I could take thier chair! The chair they had put out to the curb. They never went to bed. Today was a holiday and I had no clue. My boyfriend was supposed to get the chair in the morning before he left for work. Is the chair in my house? no.


I love this post. Mainly because it totally reminds me of ME! I'm the letsjustthrowthisshitoutwedontneeditanymore kinda person and my husband is the weshouldn'tthrowitawaywemightneeditsometime kinda guy. So yeah, I totally understand. Wanna borrow a stepstool? I have a couple in the garage that we don't use anymore!


It sounds like you did more in a couple minutes during the weekend than I did the entire weekend. Good job! Last weekend I cleaned out my closet and now have 6 trash bags full of clothes to take to the Salvation Army. It feels so good to declutter.


oh i loves me some fancy shopping bags too!

no way would i ever just throw them away.

and why didn't your mother-in-law just ask for the table?

you guys are awesome... *grin*


I have the reverse problem with my in-laws. Every time we visit them we depart with a car loaded full of gifts and hand-me-downs that I haven't found a way to politely decline.

Which explains why I own a set of novelty Christmas cheese spreaders. And a jello mold.


Dude. That folding table thing? That would be my family. My Mom wants to keep *everything*. Last time they moved my Dad gave up trying to thow things away and started packing everything up and labling the boxes creative things like "dried up paints only a mother could love", and "More stuff we don't need". Heh.



A story: My boyfriend, with whom I live (being a grammar nazi makes for some strange sentence construction in a casual setting), and I are both packrats. We have a very small apartment. Sometimes, we really do TRY to weed things out. A recent conversation:

Him: (holds up a free lanyard from a baseball game) "Do we need this? I think I'll throw it away."
Me: "Uh...maybe...but...I guess we don't really need it."
Him: "...I think I'll keep it. We might need it sometime."



A story: My boyfriend, with whom I live (being a grammar nazi makes for some strange sentence construction in a casual setting), and I are both packrats. We have a very small apartment. Sometimes, we really do TRY to weed things out. A recent conversation:

Him: (holds up a free lanyard from a baseball game) "Do we need this? I think I'll throw it away."
Me: "Uh...maybe...but...I guess we don't really need it."
Him: "...I think I'll keep it. We might need it sometime."


And another one: My dad is famous for justifying hanging onto things because "We might need it when we're destitute." And my parents are nowhere near destitute. Yet he needs things like a cot "mattress" from 1981. He also won't let my mother toss toys that my brother and I played with 20+/- years ago because he thinks that when he retires, he'll have time to get them all out and play with them for old time's sake. I love my dad.


Moving stinks! Good luck w/ it all.

Becca, you can donate your gown to Your dress will be resold & all proceeds go towards "making wishes and dreams come true for women and men diagnosed with terminal breast cancer." I found this site recently. I don't know anyone who has donated or purchased through this program, but it looks like it is worth the research if you are committed to getting rid of your gown. Good luck!


No Tire update?


We must know the fate of The Tire.


I am so impressed you changed anything electrical! I always freak the crap out of myself when the hubby goes anywhere near electrical stuff, so I sure won't be going anywhere near it. And what is it w/ the curb stuff? I love how it all magically disappears. Poof!!


I hate to break it to you, but a folding card table is one of the best things to have around the house.

Good luck with the packing!


Ah yes, the pain of selling a house. I do NOT envy you. Wait til you actually have to move.
It sucks donkey balls and I've never had to do it with a baby. I'm not looking forward to it this time.


Ah yes, the pain of selling a house. I do NOT envy you. Wait til you actually have to move.
It sucks donkey balls and I've never had to do it with a baby. I'm not looking forward to it this time.


Uh-oh - white paint over dark-ish blue? Been there. Trust me - hire a painter! I don't mind painting, but after the third coat on the same wall it gets kinda old.

My house has been on the market for 9 days. You know what sucks? Making the bed, picking up stray stuff, and cleaning up the kitchen Gah!


Amy, stand your ground on those fancy shopping bags! You NEED them. Just like I NEED all the fancy shopping bags I've ever saved. I kid you not, I have a Ralph Lauren shopping bag that's nicer than some purses I own.

Oh, and the Wednesday night TV lineup is starting to make me all twitchy. There is simply too much TV goodness all in one night.


HOw long did it take for the feeling to come back to your hand? It takes a while, doesn't it? Jason sounds like my Hubby; he almost cried when I threw out a bunch of empty computer game boxes stored in yet another empty box. Seriously, why???


Ah, the joys of moving. We fight b/c I want to keep most of the moving boxes b/c it's hard to find good boxes & he doesn't believe in packing things correctly anyway. Don't paint the kitchen yourself - despite the relative smallness of kitchens & bathrooms, they're way more pain-in-the-ass. Then again, it should make for some great blogging. ;) Regarding the step stool, my hubbie told me that I (5'3") didn't need one b/c he (6'3") would just get down whatever I needed. Yeah, that works great except he's Never around when I need his tallness. :)


Oh, yeah, forgot about the shopping bags. I have loads & use them constantly - nothing like an old Coach bag instead of brownbagging lunch; I use jcrew bags for my shoes (which always travel in their boxes) for weekends at the folks. They're also great for moving (if you're do-it-yourselfers) - I packed all my shoe boxes/shoes in them last time. Which is incidently, the time my hubbie said, for sure we won't be moving for like, 5yrs so you don't need to keep boxes. Guess what, its been 2yrs, we're moving in June (Lord willing) and will need every single one of those boxes. Vindication is mine! ;)


I just ordered more gift boxes and tissue paper because it was a school fund raiser, so I kinda HAD to. Plus, like you said, there's no such thing as "enough" because you might need to give all your girlfriends a little somethin' and need some really cute bags w/ paper to match. I'm with you!


So, yeah, I have a confession to make...I'm a maybeIshouldkeepthisbecauseitmightcomebackintostyleorImightneedit gal...but I'm going through the 12 step program mandated by my throwtheshitoutyouhaven'twornitsincehighschoolandreallyhowmuchtupperwaredoyouneed boyfriend before I move across the country to live with him. I have to admit, dropping off an old computer, two fishbowls, ten bags of clothes, and assorted appliances has been liberating...I can actually see the light at end of the tunnel I've made in the Tupperware cabinet.

By the way, want a step stool? I've got one I need to get rid of...

And what happened to the damn TIRE? You're keeping us in some serious suspense here...


What I love is that as I was reading this I thought "The stepstool! Not the stepstool!" Because I am a shorty and I also cannot reach the top TWO shelves of our kitchen cubbords and my husband curses me out everytime he bonks his shin on it. And then. . ."Now where the fuck is my stepstool?" almost made me spit coffee on my computer screen.


LOL - This so reminds me of my hubby. I'm a not-so-sentimental kind of gal: I come from a long line of pack rats and the habit to hoard WILL stop with me! My hubby will find things in the trash, dig them out and bring the fact that they shouldn't be there to my attention. 'Send it to goodwill, Jen.' For cripes sake, I married a martyr.

I, too, almost electrocuted meself. Sparks flew. It was kewl.

Your site is so fabulous, dahling.


Where are y'all moving? Have you decided?
As former loyal DC residents/mild snobs who once yearned for our 650 square foot box atop a piss-filled dog park in Dupont, I can honestly tell you we're strangely happy in Ellicott City ( in Howard County, 35 min from DC). We can still walk to the bars, restaurants and cute little shops. We paid the same for our 2,500 sq. ft. town house as we would have our little slice of mice-filled heaven. Check it out if you're still thinking about Maryland.


Wow. I thought that I had moved on from our moving adventure of a month ago but, no. You just brought it all rushing back.

My husband? Refused to throw anything out. I went through the entire house, leaving him only the basement--full of his sundry items--as his responsibility. I had to go out of town and he kept saying, "I'll take care of it before you get back."

He moved ALL OF IT. Every box of trash, every crate of every stupid thing he's ever collected, every beaten up piece of furniture that he swears he will restore. He didn't toss any of it. It is now sitting in our NEW basement. And we still don't know what's down there, but he's convinced that he can't live without it.

Pack rats of the world, I ask you: what is the bleeping point?


I can tell I must have some sort of OCD problem about skin because the only thing I was left thinking at the end of your post was - "uh, you really shouldn't be touching your face with your hands like that" -

Not that the rest of if wasn't very entertaining, as per usual.


Oh, the folding table wasn't one of those nice little card tables. No, this was a BIG ASS FOLDING TABLE, like the kind your church used to use for potluck dinners.

And...tire? What tire? What's all this crazy talk about a tire? Have you all confused me with some other white-trashy redneck blogger or something?

Jason took the tire to the storage unit, where it is bound to come in super handy when he gets a flat tire like, tomorrow.


Jesus, this one's brilliant! It's right up there with the Company Cookbook.


My husband has a huge plastic bin full of cords and wires from old computers, electronics etc. It started 7 years ago in WA, followed us to Chicago and now to HI. It has grown substantially of course as new cords and wires replace the old. Into the bin the old ones go. I can think of exactly 0 instances where one has been used, but heaven forbid we throw any away because you never know...(Also it would be impossible to find something if you actually did need one because there are so many stuffed in there.)

And he gives me a hard time about my old clothes. I will fit into them again, someday.

Miss S

awesome. sounds like my weekend of house buying and wedding planning jesus christ.


I electrocuted myself once. I was reaching underneath the entertainment center to unplug something and I stuck my finger in between the prongs and got a pretty good jolt. My hair didn't stick up, but my heart was beating funny for a few minutes.

I throw some of my husband's stuff away when he's not home.


My high school sweetheart dumped me (in part) because I got mad at her when she deputised herself to help clean up my room, and decided to throw away my massive collection of catalogs full of cool stuff. The lesson I learned was the greatest gift that b**** could have ever given me! Now my wife gets to declutter whenever she wants, and although I might feel pangs of regret over all the cool stuff she is throwing away, I'm so scared she'll leave me that I don't dare protest...

Comment people -- that's a NICE tire! You can't seriously be advocating throwing it away???? That's gotta be 17", 18"? ZY speed rated, got some tread left. sweeet!

Finally, Amalah -- I hope you are moving to VA in time to help us get rid of our moron senator.


I save the baby things. I like to freak my husband out by saying I'm keeping them "just in case." His usual reply is, "I hope you and your next husband are very happy."


I was the consumate pack rat until I dated another pack rat. I got over it, right quick. Of course, I am no one to speak, as I packed my shit up for grad school almost three years ago, and 90% of it is STILL IN BOXES, OH GOD KILL ME.

jess howard

Holy shit comments woman!

I just wanted to say that i lurve you ( that's what jenB says to me.)

I'm all better now.


I think I puked in my mouth over the electrocuting. Ditto what Y said.

The rest of the entry was quite funny.


Ha ha ha ha! The tire is in the storage unit. No pictures?

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