Giving Thanks for the Whole "Not Going To Be Homeless" Thing
Hopefully we can all agree that this counts as updating

Stop me before I start carrying around wallet-sized photos of my house and forcing strangers to look at them.

Hey! It's my blog's anniversary! Three whole years of this nonsense.

To celebrate, I thought I'd do something really unique and wild and crazy and actually...wait for it...update my stupid blog. I know! Stand back, for we do know how to party around here.

Don't even get me started on the barn burner that was our Thanksgiving.

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Hey there, good-looking. I'm a venture capitalist from Vermont. I have an emerging maple syrup conglomerate. Wanna dance?

This past week has been a blur. Everything got kick-started into crazy fast motion last Sunday when we officially accepted an offer on our condo. Our real estate agent neatly shuffled the papers and glanced at her watch, noting that it was 3:30 pm and we had exactly 30 minutes left of Open House time. And then we were all, BREAK! GOOOO ESCROWS! and high-tailed it over to see a couple townhouses.

We actually thought we were lost and almost turned around. (And by "we" I mean "I thought we were lost and demanded Jason turn around because THIS ISN'T RIGHT AND WE ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE OPEN HOUSES CLOSE OH MY GAWWWWD" and Jason reminded me that it's not like the realtors lock the doors PRECISELY at 4 pm and like, hiss at you through the mail slot to go away after that, so we kept driving.)

We saw two townhouses. The first one was cheap and had a lot of potential, provided you were willing to spend the next six months of your life scraping wallpaper off of every flat-ish surface in the entire house.

The second one was a 2,600-square-foot end unit with a remodeled kitchen, three bedrooms, a den, a finished basement rec room and four remodeled bathrooms. It was not as cheap.

Guess which one I liked. Guess!

For the first time since we started looking at houses, I got that weird little fluttery feeling in my stomach as we walked around. They'd knocked out a wall in the kitchen to make it big and open and bright. The basement wasn't basementy at all, but was more like a real part of the house. Was that a pantry? And is this ANOTHER closet?

Then I went into the master bedroom, turned a corner and saw the little sitting room. They'd set it up as an office.

"This is it." I told Jason. "This is the perfect house."

(And that was BEFORE I saw the remodeled master bath with two goddamned sinks oh my holy lord.)

It took all my willpower to refrain from throwing myself at the brick exterior to give the house a hug as we left.

We went back on Monday night with our agent, who confirmed the awesomeness of the house and the neighborhood.*

Then we found out that the sellers had received an offer from somebody else already.

I was crushed yet took it all in stride no, mostly just crushed. But the last thing we wanted to do was get into a bidding war in a damn BUYER'S MARKET, especially after being lowballed by our own buyers. So we went out again on Tuesday to look at a slew of other places, each more disappointing and laughable and fucking EXPENSIVE then the last. (Highlight of the day: the 1920s farmhouse with ceilings so low that Jason took out a light fixture with his forehead.)

Then! (Why is this story taking me so long to tell? Even my mom doesn't have this kind of patience for the minutae of my life.)

It turned out that the other offer on the townhouse was not very good. Were we still interested?

Yes! And then we lowballed them anyway. HA HA.

Anyway, after some frantic back and forthing on Wednesday night, when we were supposed to be on our way up to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving, our offer was accepted. We left for PA around 8 pm and got there around 2 am, oh my God.

We still had both home inspections to get through before we could consider everything officially cool, so I ate a lot of extra stuffing. You know, for the coping.

(ALMOST DONE, I SWEAR.)

The inspections were yesterday. We spent several hours at the new house in the morning (the place is perfect and I love it more every time I see it, even though we don't have nearly enough furniture and will have zero money for new furniture, so hello guests! Pull up a box and stay awhile!) (also I forgot the camera so I don't have any pictures I can post yet). And then we were kicked out of our condo for mannnnnnnnnny more hours in the late afternoon.

At one point we stood forlornly on the sidewalk outside our building, watching the inspector walk up and down and up and down our stairs through the window. Jason kept reminding himself that our stairs are in great shape, while I kept trying to forget all the times I'd walked up those stairs naked, because Jesus CHRIST, you can see RIGHT IN FROM DOWN HERE, WHAT KIND OF CRAZY PEEP SHOW HAVE I BEEN RUNNING THESE PAST FIVE YEARS?

Our agent called this morning with the good news: the inspection went perfectly. No issues, no repairs, just smooth sailing until settlement.

We move in 20 days.

There's really only one thing I can say about that...

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(I'm sorry, but this photo is pretty much the BEST EMOTICON EVER, and conveys more than all the exclamation points in the world.)

*I'm going to keep that info to myself, if y'all don't mind. I'm simply going to say I live somewhere in the MD-DC-VA metro area. Look at me! Learning lessons and defining boundaries! And it only took me three years!

 

Comments

Lori

Happy anniversary and congratulations on your new home! You deserve it. Now, I'm off to click on all the ads in your sidebar so that you can get some new furniture!

Jamie

Congrats on having a place to live.

I'm still curious whether you wound up in VA or MD (nothing more specific, just which state). It occurs to me that you COULD still be in DC, except you mentioned the house is in a good school district.

Jonathon

You rock! Rock that new house-tastic.

Word.

And stuff.

Seriously, congrats on the new place.

Johanna

Noah is SO, SO, SO, SO adorable and such a little man!

Congrats again on the new house, it sounds amazing. Don't worry too much about the furniture thing. We lived with half the rooms in our house completely empty for over 2 years... just more room for the kids to play!

CC

So happy you found a place. And it blows you sat in traffic all that time! My friends came up from SC and it took them 17 hours! 17 hours.
And Noah looks so big!

Kate

And how special that I have just discovered your blog for the first time on your blog-iversary! I know, I'm so late to the game... Funny pic of your dog. I love it!

jaelithe

AWESOME!

May both your move and my own impending move also go smoothly . . .

mothergoosemouse

Even in a buyer's market with lots to choose from, gems like your townhouse can go quickly. Congrats on snagging it!

And the line about the sinks - "two goddamned sinks oh my holy lord" - made me giggle in particular, considering some of the comments I got earlier this week on a post I wrote about taking the Lord's name in vain. Did you know that if you do that - or worse, allow your kids to do that - then they will do drugs and have sex in their bedrooms, under YOUR roof? Oy.

Boutros

Happy Blogiversary and new housiness! Also, Noah is looking exactly like you these days. The comparison to your upper-left photo is UNCANNY.

Her Bad Mother

can we just pitch that awesome emoticon back at you, because, um, YAY YOU!

Meg

Huge congrats, Amy. May you make amazing memories in this new beautiful place.

Old Boss

Congratulations on the house -- that's great news! One question...what's the yard situation? Can you build a real fence or dig to put in an electric one? There's nothing like booting a whining pooch out the door late at night or early in the morning and staying inside. Worth every penny.

Jamie

Congratulations on the move! I was reading your last post because lately I have been as bad at reading blogs as I am at writing them. In any case, I am also the proud owner of multiple bathrooms, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but toilets get dirty ALL ON THEIR OWN. My boyfriend and I use two bathrooms, the other ones have little demons that sneak out in the night and colour black lines around the water level. I receommend that you buy stock in 2000 Flushes, just not blue, because ew. It helps a lot. Also, installing your toilet paper underhand makes the water stain gods smile...might buy you a few days.
Congrats again on your new, wonderful space.

halloweenlover

Congratulations! Sounds like a fabulous place, and I can't wait to see pictures. Offices and basements and remodeled kitchens, oh my! Hurray!

heathabee

Congrats on your blogiversary (ew, did I just write that?) and your new digs! The new place sounds gorgeous! I'm with everyone - I'm excited to see the pictures too!

Also? Noah? Why is he 14 in that picture? He's grown so much since his 1st birthday!!

Anyway, congrats again on all the great news! And the dog's facial expression? Priceless!

Mitch McDad

Hey...I'm a Venture Capitalist from Vermont with a maple syrup conglomerate...tell that kid to go to New Hampshire.

creative-type dad

Congrats! Sheeze- that's a big house.

SammiJ

delurking to advise congrats and wouldja pluleaze git to POSTING since we NEED to live vicariously withing the life of ze GODDESS !!!

Bethany Coffey

OMG, Amalah. So excited for youQ My husabd and I just bought a house and went through inspection yesterday. Isn't it exciting. Your new place sounds amazing!!!!

Robbin

Congratulations!

Zandria

That is fantastic! I'm so excited for you. And, of course, happy blogiversary!! :)

MotherPie

Happy BlogDay to you, Happy BlogDay to you...

Three years is a big deal...

Happy Blogday to you.

Laura

one hundred freakin twenty-two comments! YOu'll NEVER read this :) But Amy...first off. I love you. I love your adorable, gooey baby boy. I love your blog. I read your blog all the way through my pregnancy and loved it even more when my own preshus baby girl was born in June. They are little miracles, these babies.
Anyway...I have an actual real question for you which is this: What software did you use to build those amazing slideshows you posted a few months back? I want to make one for my husband for Christmas but I can't seem to find the right program (ie - that lets you use your own MP3). LOVE your input if you have time! Good luck with moving and congratulations on finding a house!

lildb

It's interesting you should put that very picture up to express your general joy/pleasure/etc., because right before I scrolled to that point in the post, I was thinking about how you must feel exactly the way a smallish canine would smile in the funny, not-exactly-a-smile-but-still-sorta-smiling way that smallish canines have, only they probably are thinking about bacon, but dude, if I were thinking about bacon and I were a smallish canine (or any other kind canine, really, or even just me, because dude, bacon), I'd be jumping straight out of my flesh at the thought.

So. congratulations. :) two sinks in the master bath. you have officially

lildb

wow. thanks, typepad. I don't remember saying I was finished with my post before you decided to preemptively publish for me. please. do all of my thinking for me. my brain needs a break.

maybe, typepad, while you're at it, you could take care of some of my laundry? and the dishes are just *sitting* there, staring at you.

exactly.

meleahrebeccah

i need to know about the barn burner....

(and double sink bathroom action is great!)

Amalah

Laura - I DO read all the comments! Which is why I'm too busy to actually update again. HA!

Anyway, I use Windows Moviemaker to make the montages, which is so super easy a drunk monkey could do it. Then I upload it to Vimeo.com. Ta-da!

anna

How awesome that you found a house you love so quickly! Hope the move goes well.

Bethany Coffey

What I want for Christmas...A comment back from Amy:) I know, I'm lame but it'd be really cool. I adore Noah and really miss the Flickr pics of him:(

Natasha

hey thats an awesome Happy Thanksgiving present! Its also great news about your house! Im very jealous. And you have a beautiful son - Lucky! :-D

Natasha

Michelle

Hey, congratulations! Sounds awesome!

Is real estate fever sweeping the internet or what? We're going through the process as well. Have put in an offer on the house and are waiting for the inspection to be done so we can move out of this leaky rental.

Izzy

Now that the market is shitting the proverbial bed, we, too, are considering selling our nice little shoebox for a larger one. A bootbox, perhaps.

I am slightly green with envy that you've found something so perfect. All we keep finding are homes in "transitional" neighborhoods which is really just a euphemism for "almost GHET•TO"

Congrats!

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