Stop me before I start carrying around wallet-sized photos of my house and forcing strangers to look at them.
Blink

Hopefully we can all agree that this counts as updating

Or maybe we can't. I say it totally counts though.

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This is a waaaaay belated birthday shout-out to reader Clark, at the request of his girlfriend Karley (right down to the wording of the sign, and I really excel at following directions and spelling five-letter words). Karley was actually super on top of things and asked me for a photo plenty of time before his actual birthday. Which was last week. Ha HA.

I was feeling so super generous and in love with the real estate community, so I was all: SURE! AND I WILL GO YOU A STEP FURTHER AND POST IT ON MY PERSONAL BLOG-TYPE WEBSITE FOR ALL TO SEE, FOR HOW EASY OF AN ENTRY WOULD THAT BE, MWA HA HA! GOD, I AM SO AWESOME AND NICE.

And then I didn't, for many many days. It's a long story, and one that I actually omitted from the already long-ass story I told you on Tuesday, because I thought I was just being neurotic and whatever, the sale of our condo is totally NOT in jeopardy, chill out. Everything is fine!

Except that our sale kind of was in jeopardy for awhile, and I was a total spazz this entire week about it, and I'm about 99% sure that the potential crisis has passed but I don't want to talk about it until that last 1% is settled, plus: SUPER BORING. LIKE THESE WORDS I AM TYPING NOW.

ONLY SORT-OF BORING ASIDE: There is currently a bird in our dryer vent. It is...flapping around in there a lot. If I turn on the dryer, would that possibly encourage it to fly back out? Or would that cook it? Or reduce its changes of static cling?

Anyway. Happy belated birthday, Reader Clark. 

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A misguided attempt at "goofy."

(I have Big Plans for next week, people. I am thinking VIDEO BLOGGING. I am thinking ILLUSTRATED CRITIQUES OF HOLIDAY CATALOGS. More photos of MY DOG WEARING FUNNY THINGS. And responding to the MONTH-LONG BACKLOG OF EMAIL. Because I have HIRED MOVERS TO PACK MY SHIT UP FOR ME.)

(I am totally a CAPS-LOCK CRAZY SPOILED WHOREBITCH.)

Comments

me

More pictures of dressed up doggies!

seriously

Clark Rocks Socks!
woooo hooooooooo!

g-man

Nothing better than movers packing up your shit! (Except for, well, moving your shit to your fabulous new house.) Congrats again on your move, Looking forward to doggie pix.

Julianna

OMG! You could post a blog entry where you show your movers. That would be easy.

Video blogs rock, I did a few but wow I was surprised at how long they took! But in the end people like them!

Your misguided attempt at goofy kinda looks bondage.. hmmm... LOL! But it made me laugh!!

I totally don't want to go to work today. I am already 2 hours late. But snow! And ice! Do I have to go?

Julianna

PS-- Your hair? Looks fabulous. I have always wanted bangs like that, but with 2 atrocious cowlicks, I think I am doomed.

Frema

First of all, not only is Clark rocking socks, but you are rocking the hair, Amalah. Did you go a shade darker?

Also, a big HELL YES with the paying of other individuals to move your shit. When I moved for a job last year, I asked my boss for help with moving expenses, and I was so surprised when he said yes! It's the best thing ever. Except for the guilt of watching other individuals to move your stuff and you stand idly by, twiddling your thumbs.

kel.

tee-hee!

you're cute.

BeLinda

Your hair looks lovely! I have really enjoyed the feirce dog picture-my three year old daughter loves to look at it and talks about how "sweet and cuddly" the puppy looks. ummm yeah.
And at the risk of sounding sappy and stalkerish..I love your blog. You entertain me well. good luck with the whole moving/Chrsitmas thing. SO GLAD IT IS NOT ME.

Jen.

Oh, no... you can never be too guilty watching others move your stuff... usually because you're still preparing everything to be moved!

Having movers... very nice to do; that is a good move. Don't forget to tip AND check with them about payment PRIOR to them showing up and loading stuff on truck.

YOu'll do just fine and love getting everything together (and pulling the little stickers off everything -- Noah will have fun!

Theresa

I'm ALL FOR more pictures of the dressed up dog. Can't get enough of those.

Lori

But you are a CAPS-LOCK CRAZY SPOILED WHOREBITCH with phenomenal hair. And your skin is glowing!

Patchie

Hiring movers so totally rocks socks. I have only had that luxury once--right after we were married, my husband's company paid for a free move, and we used it to pack up my apartment. Oh, the luxury of having big, burly men pack up my crap! Oh, the excitement of wondering in which box they put the books, or the clothes! Oh, the sheer horror when i realized they had packed the garbage!

Still, it beat the hell of out doing it MYSELF. And they moved all the furniture for me, too, and put it right where i asked them to while i pointed my dainty finger there, and there.

bon

At the risk of big loads of assvice... maybe put the dryer setting to cool and turn it on?

Follow the air currents wee birdie... just follow the air!

Jen

Your hair rocks socks.

Sarah Marie

Amalah, you rock socks for being so reader-friendly!

And I don't think the dryer heat would cook the bird, but you might scare it into having a heart attack. Then again, birds are a resilient lot. Are Max and Ceiba going nuts over the flapping?

Tara

An update! Yippee! Happy belated birthday, Clark.

Paid movers are God's gift to humankind. SERIOUSLY. We hired movers for our move to our current house five years ago, and. . . (from "Gone with the Wind": cue the Tara theme and the scene of Scarlett in the field, shaking her dirt-clutching fists at the sky):

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I'LL NEVER MOVE MY OWN SHIT AGAIN!!

Because having someone else do that--someone who was bigger & more muscley (sp?) than me, someone who did this for a living and knew how to do it efficiently, someone who actually APPRECIATED that I drew maps of every room and used color-coded stickers to show where they should put everything--well, that was pretty damn awesome, and magical, and worth every penny.

So glad that everything seems to be working out. Can't wait for pics of the new digs. In the meantime, pics of Ceiba in Noah's hand-me-downs will suffice. :-)

Ang

I have to say that you inspired me to get an Old Navy t-shirt for my cat.

Also, plenty of birds nest in dryer vents so I think they must be able to take the heat. But I hope your bird is not trapped in there! You don't want it to die in there.

Movers? Fancy.

Amy H.

...and hence the term "bird brain" is born. How is the world does a bird get into a dryer vent? I guess it was enticed by the warmth and stayed for the free lent. who knows....

love the hair. nice that you sent a birthday shout-out.

are you going to dress Ceiba up as Santa and make her pose for pictures? that would be great.

Amy H.

oh--and is that lip-gloss I detect? wow. Getting dressed and putting on actual make-up! awesome. I don't think I could motivate myself to do that if I worked from home. I barely get lip-gloss on now and I come to an office every day.

bluepaintred

pfft you arent spoiled. if you can, always get movers to pack for you. who needs that extra stress on top of mortgages?

and did you say more photos of the clothing covered pup? like hats and scarfs and wee booties?

that sounds great


hop to it girl!

Clark and Karley

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, AMY!!! (LOOK WHO'S BEING THE CAPLOCK WHORE NOW, MISSY!!)

Clark saw this and just giggled like a little school girl.

You are the most AWESOMEST (new word) Amy, ever!!

Good Luck with the move... I'm sure it'll be the best thing ever!

LaLa

Wow, I get to post after the famous Clark and Karley who are so famous they got mentioned on your site.

Movers are fantastic, they took 2 hours to do what would have taken us all day.

I have no upper body strength.

Mouse

My wife and I are all about paying other people to pack and move our stuff, especially the assloads of books. We once--when her company was paying--had them do the "unpacking" too. But that wasn't worth it. Unpacking involved piling all of our clothes on top of our bed and putting all of our CDs and DVDs on the floor in front of our media center. We had to put all of our clothes away before we could go to sleep that night, and couldn't do any of that until late, and had to move a bunch of our music and movies out of the way so that we could reach the media center where they belonged.

rascoagogo

I just paid movers to move my apartment last week and it was EFFING AWESOME! Last time took six people all day, this time took two guys two and a half hours. One of them picked up my queen-size mattress and put it on one shoulder LIKE A BOOMBOX!

Movers are the best money a girl could spend on moving-related things. The idea of having them pack and unpack everything as well makes me all tingly with the joyous prospect. You may need a scepter for pointing them in the right direction and everything.

Amalah

Aw, thanks for all the compliments about my hair. I totally did it up special for photo-taking purposes.

I didn't intentionally "go a shade darker" though. That's just many many inches of root grow-outtiness because it's been that long since I had it done. HA.

No lip gloss though -- that's the new love of my life, Rosebud balm. I am so full of trickery!

jonniker

HA! This is hysterical. And dude, you look awesome there. Is your hair darker? And the make up! Looks fab!

You may be a caps-lock whore, but you are a STUNNING CAPS LOCK WHORE HOW ABOUT THAT?

HollowSquirrel

Your hair looks gorgeous. Nay, you look gorgeous. And hiring movers is the smartest thing you could ever fricking do. It's well worth the money and save money on therapy in the future. I swear.

Mandy

I thought your hair was darker too, until I just saw your comment. It, and you, look very especially-for-Clark's-birthday-shout-out pretty.

We also had a bird in our dryer vent back in college but I don't remember how we got it out. Using the dryer didn't seem to bother it but since that was over 10 years ago, maybe I shouldn't advise you about something that could unintentionally fry a bird.

starrynite

Looking very fine!

And I really hope things are all going smoothly with the move. I think I'm too much of a control freak to let other people pack my stuff, but it sounds like a sensible idea.

Erica

Yay for dogz in clothez and people to pack your stuff up! I am getting a new puppy tomorrow for my birthday and will be pre-ordering the Dogg Father hoodie thanks to an Amazon gift certificate I also received for my b-day. Your commenters are the DEVIL for posting such things to tempt me. Maybe Snoop should start advertising on your ad space.

jodi

Movers will pack for you? Really, I so never knew that! When we move, if we ever move, I am sooo doing that!

Jessie

The paying people to move you thing? Awesome. I told my husband that's what we're doing the next time we move because I totally can't stand his neuroses when he's packing/moving and we fight a ton. So yes. Hooray for other people doing the hard work!

Contrary

I bet Clark does rock some socks. Happy Birthday Clark!

jes

Amalah: You look so.o.o.o pretty in the birthday pic for Clark.

Just thought you should be told.

Patchie

Oh--Rosebud Balm is awesome. I discovered it this past week. Use it on your cuticles--totally rocks.

missbanshee

Whiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!!!!!! Someone come pack for me for freeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Seriously, I'm moving in a month and the only manpower we have is my 67 year old dad, my 70 year old dad-friend, and me, holding a glass of wine. This will not end well.

Lawyerish

Purrrtay. Sideswept bangs, glossy lips. Clark got quite the sexay birthday greeting! And I love the dark(er) blonde, outgrowth or not.

I'm amazed you can do anything in the midst of contracts and packing and whatnot. I would be found clutching a blankie and rocking back and forth under a large piece of furniture.

sweetney

fucking spokesmodel.

snort.

Christy

Hey! I had to do a quick post about the bird in dryer vent thing - turning on the dryer doesn't scare them! They just move closer to the place the warm air is coming from! I know from experience - in my old apt they nested in the vent & I ended up with several half grown birds in my (almost brand new) dryer. One bird died when I turned the dryer on (for the record, I thought my next door neighbors owned a pet bird that was making cheeping noises, not that one had moved in with me). I pulled out the dead one (gross!) but the maintenance guy found two more live ones in the dryer. Don't know too much about getting them out - maybe unplug dryer hose & clang around the pipe? For the record, the dryer works fine & the apt put a mesh cover over the vent. :)

Kiki

Am- you're great. Whorebitch is my favorite word. Thanks for making my day.

Starbuck

Well, that was a pleasant sight, seeing you for a change!! Though I always got melty inside when I checked and saw Noah every time.

Glad everything is progressing well with the sale. Love that you have people doing the work for you, just as it should be!!

bad penguin

The next time I move, which will hopefully not be for a while, I am totally paying the movers to pack my stuff up. Watching them move our stuff was awesome last time, but not having to pack it all would be truly amazing. So I guess I am also a spoiled whorebitch.

Teeny

I just moved twice in two months - I wish we'd thought of paying a moving company. D'oh.

tracy

I think in that second photo you are totally flipping the bird behind the paper. Yes, yes I do.

Jem

Oh my gosh you look so hot in those pictures!

Alyndabear

You totally need to take a photo in Ceiba-style.

Because that picture was fabulous.

cate

i freaking love you.

Nothing But Bonfires

Add me to the "your hair looks fabulous" side. So swoopy! So chic! I bet you're rocking a chignon or something. THIS is how you sell condos, perhaps. With your shiny locks. All done and shit.

DebbieS

Update rocks sock, too ;) Although it would also have been very cute to have the next picture with Ceiba holding the sign in her teeth too!

Amen to the movers packing your stuff for you. Enjoy it!! And video blog it for all the idiots like me who have always packed up their own sh*t and lived to regret it!

Gillian

Movers will give you years of stories because they pack everything they touch without discernment. Like packing machines. So, you get the unwashed teacup smothered in paper and a pile of soap slivers you were going to use in a crafty sponge thing nestled in among the silverware. And They Do It All. Which is the best thing since chocolate but it feels a little like multiplying brooms toting water buckets for Mickey Mouse.

AnnieLSU

your make-up looks so pretty!

Belinda

You rock my socks, too, and I don't think I've ever told you so.

There. Yet another long-procrastinated item crossed off my list.

Amy

You're rockin' the fabulous in that top picture! Well done.

Anastasia

I made the grave error of moving MY OWN SHIT Labor Day Weekend. Which stil makes me a CAPS-LOCK CRAZY SPOILED WHOREBITCH, just a STUPID one. Yay movers! And yay for very cute pictures.

Kyla

You are my FAVORITE caps lock whorebitch, by the way. *lol*

Mom101

I'm going to email you my list of all the people in my life who need personal messages, what needs to be said, and what the dates are. You don't mind, right?

Maria

You look so very pretty.

Happy belated birthday, Clark!

heather b (the other one)

Oh! Oh! PLEASE critique the J Crew holiday catalog.

the one with the lady in a BALL GOWN SKIRT, SKIIING.

ball gown. skiing.

JP

You look really pretty in the first picture. Not that you don't in the second but, ya know, it's kinda scary. ;) Anyway, I think you should totally include the picture in your next "Fight the Frump" report on ClubMom.

obabe

hell to the yes for paying the movers to pack your stuff. when we were relocated by my employer, the movers they hired almost saran wrapped me and the husband to the couch we were sitting on, since we sat there ALL DAY LONG watching other people cart away our stuff. totally awesome (and free for us- awesomer!)

Darcy

Huh. I read your sign as "CLARK SUCKS ROCKS." And I don't even know the guy. I'm a bad, bad person.

My hubby and I moved into our new home on -- no kidding -- New Year's eve. We didn't bother decorating for Christmas, we just enjoyed the Christmas tree at my parents' house. If you decide to go that route, that could one less thing to worry about.

We paid people to move us, too, which was fabulous. But I'm a bit of a control freak, so we packed our things ourselves.

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