Only the Author of This Website Could Turn a Head Cold Into a Three-Day Baby-Snot Crisis
December 08, 2006
We're doing much better today. And it's thanks in no small part to all the suggestions offered after yesterday's post, which (you may have noticed) I wrote shortly after losing my damn mind.
THINGS Y'ALL SAID THAT WERE AWESOME:
1) SudaCare Shower Soothers. You go buy some of these now, holy god. So, so great.
2) No Dairy, You Stupid Dipshit. Yeah. That one was my bad, Noah.
2) Chicken Broth. Noah (of course) refused to take it from a spoon or a cup, but loved crackers dunked in broth, and ate many of them while I wept with joy, because now his body won't have to feed off that one last baby fat roll on his thigh.
3) Just Chill The Fuck Out And Feed The Child Donuts If That's What He'll Eat. After the success of the broth crackers, I felt less guilty feeding Noah microwaved Sweetzels Spiced Wafers.
My doctor echoed pretty much everything else you guys mentioned. (I did call -- he agreed with my gut instinct that it's just a virus, but didn't blame me for questioning that instinct after 48 hours of no sleep and nerve endings dulled by OTC decongestants.) So today we still have gobs of snot and some fussiness, but the fever is gone and, thanks to some weird green veggie juice from Trader Joe's that Noah inexplicably loves, so is the dehydration fear. (He HATES Pedialyte. HATES. And he HATES you for trying to give it to him.)
Oh, plus he slept through the night last night, which meant I slept through the night, which means I feel slightly better than death-on-toast.
We have all been officially upgraded to death-on-blueberry-waffles.