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November 2006
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January 2007

Crying Uncle

I spent the majority of last night in Noah's room, curled up with him in a creaky rocker while he snorted and gasped and a non-stop river of snot oozed down my chest. I felt the pestilence filling up my own nasal cavities and chafing my throat while we rocked. And I remembered all the times when my own mother rocked me all night in the same chair, and how I always felt so much better when she held me. And I wondered if she felt the same way: filled with love for the little germbucket in her arms, both... Read more →

The Road to Hell... paved with baby snot, apparently. Back when I was young and new and flush with baby-milestone-celebratitis, I was obsessed Noah's teeth. I took pictures of them right as they appeared and wrote the corresponding date in his baby book, and I didn't even think it was weird that his baby book included a creepy dental chart of crudely drawn teeth and jaws for just this purpose. I would like to report that I am Over Teeth. I am fairly certain he is too. And I am DEFINITELY over Writing About Teeth. In a no-rest-for-the-weary kind of thing (what's with... Read more →


Last year, we spent about 40 minutes in line trying to keep a small bald turtle child awake just long enough to see Santa, and arguing over why BLUE SHOES ARE NEITHER CHRISTMASY NOR MATCHY, JASON STORCH: This year, we spent 15 minutes in line (the 15 longest damn minutes of my entire life, and that's about how long my c-section took) trying to keep Noah from throwing yet another temper tantrum over GOD KNOWS WHAT (seriously, what? what do you want? what are you pointing at? why are you flailing? how do you DO that, when your whole body... Read more →

Hopefully we can all agree that this counts as updating

Or maybe we can't. I say it totally counts though. This is a waaaaay belated birthday shout-out to reader Clark, at the request of his girlfriend Karley (right down to the wording of the sign, and I really excel at following directions and spelling five-letter words). Karley was actually super on top of things and asked me for a photo plenty of time before his actual birthday. Which was last week. Ha HA. I was feeling so super generous and in love with the real estate community, so I was all: SURE! AND I WILL GO YOU A STEP FURTHER... Read more →