Weekend Report: I Just Never Learn
More than words

From the Management

Hi! Guess what! I'm not posting anything here today. Because I have decided to move all of Noah's furniture from the small green bedroom with two windows to the not-quite-as-small blue bedroom with one window. By myself. Because I have decided that this is terribly important and must be done immediately and I know Jason will totally argue with me and say that Noah is FINE in the green bedroom and that we are NOT moving his furniture when we just paid people to put it there less than a month ago, so this way, I'll have all the furniture moved before he gets home and then he will have no choice but to help me paint over the blue this weekend.

I'm thinking a soft green would look nice.

Anyway, that's what I'm busy doing right now, but I'm taking a break because the changing table is currently stuck between the doorway and the stairway banister and I am kind of not sure what the hell I'm supposed to do about that.

However! There are nice long personally-type posts over at ClubMom (the three-day-a-week posting schedule? is nice. lets me wait until I actually get sort-of inspired to post. muy happier). AlphaMom is doing some server-maintenance stuff but hopefully the Advice Smackdown will resume later this week for all your most desperate queries, and hey! Tonight I'm going to liveblog the American Idol premiere for MamaPop.

I haven't watched the show in a couple seasons, but I am flipping OBSESSED this year, because a girl from my high school graduating class keeps showing up in all the commercials for the new season, and I am SERIOUSLY hoping she gets some additional airtime or makes it to Hollywood. Why? I have no idea. It's not like we're still friends or anything, since I don't think we even acknowledged each other at the reunion, and Google tells me she went on to achieve moderate success in the Central Pennsylvania beauty pageant circuit, while I clearly have found my calling as a combination Internet Rock Star and Bored Furniture Moving Housewife.

You know what? Screw her. I hope Simon makes fun of how tall and skinny and blond she is. And tells her to eat a sandwich. Which I'm going to do now. Anything besides deal with that changing table debacle I've gone and created upstairs.

(Seriously, stop by MamaPop tonight. Or at least submit some ideas for the Official Drinking Game, because dude, I'll need to be at LEAST as high as Paula to sit through two solid hours of this horseshit.)



Liveblogging? AI?


Liveblogging? AI?


Drink every time Simon says "that was the worst/most dreadful/horrible thing I have ever heard"?

Or every time he starts an insult with "I'm sorry but..."?

Or you could get drunk off your ass in the first 5 seconds by drinking every time Randy says "DOG"... that'll do it.

Amy H

um, didn't you post something about the movers wanting to put Noah's furniture in the blue room and you arguing with them about JUST. PUTTING. IT. IN. THE. GREEN. ROOM.?? I think I recall that.

I think it is much more fun to pay someone to do something and then go back and do it the hard way the next month. :-)


The last time I tried moving something by myself to do it before my husband could protest, I put my back out. Now I have him do it and ignore his protestations, which he is also going to have tonight because I'll be watching American Idol too, and he hates that show. It's so trainwrecky and wonderful, though.

Heather B.

Wait, why are you doing this?? and you'd probably need someone to help lift the changing table and maneuver it around that area. Again, why are you doing this?


Is it possible you want the little room for something (or someone) else?

Just a guess, although I hate when people always assume women are pregnant, but you did say you were trying!


Maybe this is the year that I actually watch American Idol. I feel like the only person in the world that doesn't love it.

I am such a follower.


hint: there are little things you can put under the furniture called moving men...they have them at Home Depot - and it makes the really heavy furniture just slide along. This will come in handy when you decide to switch the dining room with the living room. Trust me; it's bad when the Mr. comes home mid -switch to find you sleeping on a couch placed nicely between rooms.


You are quite a bit like me I can tell. I always get the idea to do something and then do it myself cuz either my husband isn't home or is too busy doing something else to help out, or just plain doesn't want to, but he usually has to come and help me fix something that I messed up or that I can't do, and then we get into an argument about it and all that funness! I'm sure the bigger room for Noah will be good, that just means more room for the turtle! :]


My friends and I used to drink everytime Randy laughed at someone, because seriously dawg he does that a lot... or we would chug for however long the person sang for that was really really really bad... (not just by Simon's standards). OOh! or everytime someone sang a song by certain artist that was chosen before the auditions started. That worked well last year.

Good for you for moving the furniture! "I do what I want!"


Isabel, I don't even WATCH the damn show. Tory, your AI version sounds like what we used to play in college, back in the Eighties (when Amalah was in a playpen). We played "Hi, Bob." During the Bob Newhart Show. Anytime Suzanne Pleshette or Fannie whatever or that guy with the White Boy Afro who played the dentist said "hi, Bob!" we drank.
This happened many times per episode, and is probably responsible for my cum laude instead of my magna cum laude.


Hmm. The only advice I can give on the stuck changing table is this: Kick it. Seems to work for me when I get the "moving furniture bug" (which is a lot). And also when I get things stuck (which is also a lot).


i'm preparing a screwdriver as we speak (err, i type). let the drunken blogfest begin!

creative-type dad

I can't watch that show anymore - too many people talk about it.

Unless, of course David Hasselhoff becomes a judge. Then maybe...


I was going to get on the treadmill during AI, but now I have an excellent reason not to - must read MamaPop instead. That is a far better idea than exercising.

I hope you will be TiVo'ing Gilmore Girls, though. They start back with new episodes tonight I believe.


testing, testing...

You being a bitch to mah peeps, Typepad? Do we need to tussle?


This is what makes us all amazed our husbands haven't lost their minds (Or maybe they have and that's why they stay).


Leave the changing table there. Build a catapult.

I spent most of yesterday morning sitting on my ass, watching people I paid to move my crap back into my apartment, and then I spent most of the afternoon moving my crap again, by myself this time.

I got everything where I want it until I change my mind again, but not before breaking my finger.

I might check out MamaPop just because my cable hasn't been hooked up yet, even though I haven't been able to stand to watch AI through audition time in the past.


I understand so well.
Yesterday I re-arranged all my bedroom furniture. ALL of it.
Bed, dressers (that's right, plural) bedside table, desk, etc.
Today I hurt. All over.
Could I have waited for help? Of course. But I am not smart.


I have so done the I'll-just-move-it-now-before-The-Husband-gets-home-and-argues-about-it thing.
And also: I painted my kitchen less than a month after paying somebody to paint it. What can I say - I'm a good planner.


If you figure out how to get as high as Paula please let me know. I'm not sure that's even possible...


Amy, you brighten my day without fail every day.

Also, had I known about the drinking game, I'd have run to the liquor store. So I will be joining you in spirit.

And my choice for your game is whenever Simon says, "What in the bloody hell was THAT?" I think that is just too funny!! Anyway, have fun. I imagine you are starting to get tipsy already.


I don't watch American Idol, but Danni, the winner from Survivor Guatemala was from the same town where I went to high school (her brothers were nearer to my age, though, and I had both of her parents as teachers). It totally made watching that season fun, fun, FUN. So, for your sake, I hope that high school gal of yours is a contestant!


Dude! I read your first paragraph to my husband and he said "You are all the same" because the other day he came home to find that I had moved all the living room furniture from one side of the room to the other and then I said to him "this room could use some paint." Spooky.

Wacky Mommy

It is almost as if I am RIGHT THERE for every minute of this excitement. Cool.


I hate American Idol. I'd never watch all that horseshit.
But so cool you know someone shown on the audition circuit. Way cool!


if you've still got energy after moving noah's things, you could come help rearrange my bedroom :)


Wouldn't it be easier to paint the blue room green before moving all the stuff into it? Or would that perhaps tip off Jason a little too early?


Ha, Lori, I played HI BOB too. Did you also play beer traffic?

I second the recommendation for those little furniture mover things. They really work!


Maybe I misunderstood, but you are moving all the furniture into the room you wish to paint?

Wouldn't it be easier to paint it first withuot any furniture in it and then move it in after? I mean you can just mention to jim, jason, or whoever the "boy" is "Hmm the blue room looks so tacky, why don't we paint it a soft green while its so empty and easy to do?". Then after the paint dries you can pull the switch.

Maybe I got mixed up somewhere while reading it thuogh.

Anne Glamore

You get really invested in American Idol when people you know, like your secretary's stepson, or haircutter's neighbor win or come in second.

You are totally doing the right thing to move the furniture. I'd stick everything but the bed in the middle of the room and cover it with a sheet then RUN to the paint store and slap a few greens on the wall so you're committed to painting.

AG, from the land of Taylor Hicks, Bo Bice and Ruben Studdard


Seriuosly, Paula was MEAN last night! Did ANYONE else notice that? Simon was nicer than her, SIMON WAS NICER THAN PAULA!


Are you doing the live blogging thing again tonight? Last night you cracked me up.


Oh, sorry, I see that you're not. My bad.

Black Belt Mama

Almost died laughing reading the first paragraph. I did the EXACT SAME THING with all of my daughter's furniture when we moved into our house, by myself, because it needed to be done NOW. Good luck with the banister. By now, you've probably figured it out, but you can always unscrew it from the wall and take that sucker down too. Good luck with the painting.


Hi, i'm kat. i've been lurking and reading forever, just thought i'd finally stop and say hi. so "hi!".

i like your writing a lot. you always make me smile.


I so totally always do that. The worst experience I had with moving things that I should not move was when we lived in an old, victorian house.. and I decided it was a great idea ot surprise my (then) husband by removing the window A/c. OMG. A) those are really heavy. B) our windows had lost their ropes and weights so they slammed down, randomly. C) this window was about 8 feet off the ground. WHich meant I dropped it out the window, broke it, and also? Slammed my hands in the window. So awesome. So did you know it's hard to lift a window when both of your hands are stuck in it? But the threat of shame and tons of screaming works well.

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