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« From the Management | Main | Curtains »

More than words

January 18, 2007

Noah doesn't smell like a baby anymore.

I don't know when it happened -- but at some point, despite using the same old lavendar soap and powder and Desitin, he lost that baby smell. His head smells like hair, and his skin has taken on a new scent -- one I can't describe, because it's just his smell now, a combination of lotion and detergent and body chemistry. In a way it's even better than that baby smell, because it's Noah, the fully-formed little person version. It's like the way I can sort of smell Jason just by thinking about him, and the way I remember what my mom and dad smell like, and exactly three of my ex-boyfriends.

He doesn't look like a baby anymore either.

He's still got a round little belly and dimples on his fingers and elbows, but everything else is lean and undeniably boyish. His little bow legs have straightened out and the chubby thighs have vanished into muscle, and a thin coat of blond hair is growing in. I look at photos from just a few months ago and am floored by how different he looks now.

I want to dress him in feetie pajamas and onesies with teddy bears on him, but the only things that fit him have monster trucks and dinosaurs on them. So I let him run around naked instead, just so I can be reminded that his butt still has dimples on it.

He points at everything, and talks non-stop, but I never know whether he's trying to tell me if he wants something or if he just wants me to help label his world. "Mmmmeh! Eeennnneh!" he shrieks, pointing at some vague spot above my head, as I flip through the possibilities:  You want up? You want to go over there? Upstairs? Ceiling? Light? Crown molding?

I don't think I ever get it right. He'll stand before me and talk very emphatically, with hand gestures and everything, and I hand him some juice and hope I was close. He'll sigh and accept it, while his eyes remain fixed on the refrigerator, envisioning the thing he really wanted instead.

I've never been good at understanding little kids -- to me even the Bilingual Sign Language Genius Child at Gymboree sounds like "Be ba be uh," and everyone around me shrieks and translates it as "Bye bye baby," and then I wonder if I'm missing words in all of Noah's chatter.  I've heard mothers brag that they're the only ones who can understand their toddler's speech, and I always hoped it was one of those things that you just instinctually figure out, so in a way it's comforting to tell myself that he's just not talking yet.

The other night he woke up around midnight. I went into his room expecting some cranky crocodile tears but found the real thing. His face was wet and his shoulders shook while he sobbed. As usual, I didn't have a clue and flipped through the possibilities -- bad dream? teeth? fever?  -- until I just gave up on the whys and took him back to bed with me.

He curled up next to me and sniffled and sighed for a bit. He didn't want me to sing or speak, but after a few minutes of spooning together he went back to sleep. I smelled his hair and fell asleep.

One day, very soon, it will take a lot more than that. I'll have to explain why we have bad dreams and why we get sick; why people are cruel and why people we love sometimes die. I'll have to explain why we don't say certain words and figure out what to tell him about the book of Bible stories on his shelf.

I don't what I'm going to say when that day comes, so in a way it's comforting to tell myself that he's just not talking yet.

Chatter on Vimeo

Posted at 03:00 PM | Permalink

Comments

He is just the most adorable little boy! As Austin sits here next to me eating him lunch, I'm reading your post and nodding my head in agreement. Sometimes it seems that people just don't get it, that time goes by so fast. Our little babies become little boys before they become men...so atleast we have that to look forward to! Beautiful Post Amy!

Posted by: Tirzah | January 18, 2007 at 03:09 PM

It's certainly not English, but who's to say it isn't something more exciting, say, Mandarin?

Posted by: Leah | January 18, 2007 at 03:10 PM

So what I do is just pick up my son and put him close to the refrigerator and say show me and then he points to whatever he is trying to verbalize. Works like a charm. I do it everywhere, point to the ceiling fan, molding, ect. By the way thanks for making me go smell my son and see he doesn't smell like baby anymore either.

Posted by: wilddreemer | January 18, 2007 at 03:14 PM

You can do it! Pretty soon he'll be making more sense and then you'll have to start saying "No" a lot more.

Posted by: Erica | January 18, 2007 at 03:19 PM

That is too cute. My son is about the same age and does the same thing. I can't understand alot, but I'm starting to pick up phrases from the movie "Cars." Can you say addiction? Don't you love babyish?

Posted by: Kelly | January 18, 2007 at 03:21 PM


that was seriously beautiful.
again.
as always.

Posted by: tiffers | January 18, 2007 at 03:23 PM

I feel you. I have an 8YO boy, and now, a 5 wk old boy. I've got tons of explaining to do (and have done) with the 8YO about life. Then...gonna explain it all again.

Noah's not talking yet. Well, he IS. But it's Noahspeak. Just wait! For me, that's when things get really interesting, and stimulating, and scary, and FUN.

Posted by: HMFT | January 18, 2007 at 03:28 PM

I feel you. I have an 8YO boy, and now, a 5 wk old boy. I've got tons of explaining to do (and have done) with the 8YO about life. Then...gonna explain it all again.

Noah's not talking yet. Well, he IS. But it's Noahspeak. Just wait! For me, that's when things get really interesting, and stimulating, and scary, and FUN.

Posted by: HMFT | January 18, 2007 at 03:28 PM

Very sweet. I'd actually sort of forgotten that phase of baby language. We speak teen speak at our house now!

Posted by: Liz | January 18, 2007 at 03:28 PM

No matter what, even if you don't know what he wants (or can't understand), you will always be the one that will be able to fix it. You are the all powerful Mommy. :)

He has grown up so much. I started reading your site when you were about 3 months pregnant...amazing how time flies. He is a very cute little boy!

Posted by: Laura | January 18, 2007 at 03:31 PM

You have a very smart little boy there he looked at you like you were crazy telling him night night when he can clearly see it is still daylight outside. SOOOO CUTE!!

Posted by: Lisa | January 18, 2007 at 03:32 PM

So stinkin' cute!! Love it!!

Posted by: Amber | January 18, 2007 at 03:35 PM

dang it. I was hoping that understanding what kids say was instinctual with your own child. sigh. I can never understand kids either so I guess I will be in the same boat when Avery starts talking.
This is a beautiful post. I sniff Avery's head every day and soak in her baby smell. I am not looking forward to the day that i sniff her head and it doesn't smell like baby anymore.

Children's Place sells footie jammies up to size 4, I think. At some point, though, I think they start to look like Ralphie from A Christmas Story. :-)

Posted by: Amy H | January 18, 2007 at 03:39 PM

SO cute! It seemed like when you asked 'Night, night? Noah turned around and looked outside like - "Ma, what're you smokin'? It's still light outside!"

Posted by: ktbug | January 18, 2007 at 03:39 PM

Luvre hearing his voices.

Posted by: Maria | January 18, 2007 at 03:51 PM

He's still so cute I could eat him!!

Posted by: RebeccaB | January 18, 2007 at 03:51 PM

Felix speaks exactly the same language as Noah! I have no idea what he is saying most of the time, and like you, I do my best to guess. My husband and mother-in-law seem to understand everything but I just think they are making it up...

Either way, I love the sound of the babble.

Posted by: Sarah | January 18, 2007 at 03:52 PM

De-lurking to say that Noah is beautiful, and I'm sure in all his chatter he is saying how much he loves you, and that you are the prettiest mommy at Gymboree, and you are his own Queen of Everything!

Posted by: *emily* | January 18, 2007 at 03:53 PM

So sweet. And there are so many times that you don't know what they are saying. You have to read the mystery that was chicken wipes and peemo boat at Antique Mommy:

http://antiquemommy.typepad.com/antique_mommy/2006/12/a_peemo_boat.html

It took me a MONTH to figure out that do-drah was for drawing which crayons! My son is 2 1/2 now and the words come faster than I can absorb. Most days I am floored that he knows a particular word and how to use it.

Posted by: Hillarie | January 18, 2007 at 03:56 PM

Beautiful post.

And, on a lighter note, I love how toddlers always seem like they're a bit tipsy. Love it. Want one.

Posted by: Clink | January 18, 2007 at 03:57 PM

He's awesome. You should be very, very proud.

Posted by: jonniker | January 18, 2007 at 04:00 PM

I understood every single word. To translate:

" Help! My name is Noah. My Mother doesn't understand me, my dog dresses weird, I have been stuck behind a dressing table for days in a blue room that I hate, and the gate....oh, don't even let me start on that gate! Please send reinforcements before she takes me back to Gymboree one more time"

I can't figure out why you didn't get all that.

Posted by: Avalon | January 18, 2007 at 04:02 PM

I love how at around :19 he tapers off the chatter as a person would when they realized no one was paying attention. Like "So yeah, I got these new shoes and you're.. not.. listening OK then! Moving right along!"

Ok, that probably didn't make any sense at all. But I swear that's what it sounds like.

Your child is so freaking awesome. Everytime I comment I say that, but seriously, it's true. Also, I doubt you get tired of hearing it so I'm just gonna keep saying it.

Posted by: Ashley | January 18, 2007 at 04:04 PM

Too adorable!! I noticed too how he turns around to check out the daylight when you want him to say "nigh nigh" to the camera. What a smart little cookie he is ;)

Posted by: DebbieS | January 18, 2007 at 04:14 PM

So your post got me thinking that 'wow one day he'll even question such fun things as skin color and that will be a treat' and so we won't go there.

But yeah, so far so good, he's a joy even when he gives me the look of death and hatred, I still love him.

Posted by: Heather B. | January 18, 2007 at 04:34 PM

I came here to laugh so why am I now almost crying? I'm going to go snuggle my chubby, cooing 2 month old boy while I still can!!

Posted by: Becca | January 18, 2007 at 04:35 PM

I was late this week and had the brief terror of thinking I might be pregnant. But my period came this morning. Posts like this let me see the magic beyond the terror. Now reading this is making me kind of wistful.

Posted by: Theresa | January 18, 2007 at 04:35 PM

Beautiful post. I love his range of low to high and back, meandering through the octaves...just chattin' away. And yes, he totally said "night night!" Brilliant!

Posted by: HollowSquirrel | January 18, 2007 at 04:37 PM

Oh, the transition from Baby Smell to Little Boy Smell! I remember those days. Enjoy them, because not far away is the transition from Little Boy Smell to full-blown Big Boy Smell.

And it's not pretty.

Posted by: Lisa | January 18, 2007 at 04:38 PM

and watching the video DEFINITELY makes me wistful. Please stop posting videos of your adorable child until after I finish grad school (May! May, you can post a video in May)

Posted by: Theresa | January 18, 2007 at 04:39 PM

He's adorable!

Luckily, he won't ask those all in the same day and you get a breather (usually! I have no idea!) in between them!

At 12, a snuggle still soothes my son. I'm still waiting for him to outgrow it.

Posted by: melissa b. | January 18, 2007 at 04:41 PM

Just wait until you tell him "night night" and he tells you "no", like mine does. Sigh. I miss those sweet baby days.

Posted by: Jaime | January 18, 2007 at 04:50 PM

that was an amazingly beautiful post, and why you are such a good blogger. I feel the same way about my son, but could never say it in those words.

If it makes you feel any better, my 22 month looked at the screen and said Baby. So he is still a baby to some.

He'll talk, and you'll understand, and it will never end. Every 5 minutes I get, No Mommy, I play cow, (his stuffed rocking horse), when we need to leave, when we need to eat, when it's bed time. Sometime it is better to not know what they want.

Posted by: jodi | January 18, 2007 at 04:55 PM

Very, very cute.

Posted by: Kyla | January 18, 2007 at 04:55 PM

It would be worth making a trip to DC just to cuddle that little punkinhead. How stinkin cute is he, huh?

Alison and I watched the video several times during which she said, "baahhhbeeee", which means baby, and "er-gluh- mee-ahh-dooooo" which means Noah is totally cute even with the owie by his eye.

Posted by: Missie | January 18, 2007 at 05:11 PM

And if you just slather him up in the Country Bunny Baby Lotion, you can delude yourself a while longer that he is still a tiny tot. That's what I do with Alison.

Posted by: Missie | January 18, 2007 at 05:12 PM

He's gorgeous! I was hoping the Mommy instinct kicked in for translating. Thanks for ripping that dream away from me! My 11-m.o. says "deedle deedle" a lot. I was hoping for a baby-English dictionary for Christmas.

Posted by: Amy M | January 18, 2007 at 05:15 PM

We took some video of our son when he was a little more than 1 year old.

About 8 months later, I was watching the video.

You could hear me and my husband saying, "Hi there! Hi!" n the background.

And our son, who was in the frame of the video, was saying clear as day back to us, "CHEESE!" because we were holding the camera.

"Cheese! CHEESE!" he kept saying.

And we just kept saying, "Hi there! Oh yes, hellooooo!"

We couldn't understand it at the time, but it was clear as effing DAY to me when I watched it months later.

So yeah, maybe Noah is saying lots of stuff and you just can't tell yet. :-)

Posted by: k | January 18, 2007 at 05:25 PM

He's definitely saying "Mom, I know you miss your job. But, I'm glad you're here." Definitely.

Posted by: lena | January 18, 2007 at 05:28 PM

What even he is saying he is adorable. I just started understanding what my toddler is saying and I am like 3 months ahead of you. It will come with time.

Posted by: Emily | January 18, 2007 at 05:30 PM

*sobs*

Posted by: Jules | January 18, 2007 at 05:32 PM

Your voice sounds eerily like my own.

And also I really loved this entry.

Posted by: Kristin | January 18, 2007 at 05:34 PM

I couldn't have said it better!
Having this walking talking person is so strange!
My daughter also talks all the time. She is now 20 months old and I can understand about 80% of what she says, but those 20% that I don't get could be in Chinese for all I know. I hate it when she looks at me so expectantly and I have NO clue what she said.
You'll understand him soon enough, and then you can be that mom who "translates" for him in front of others. But then you won't be able to pretend you didn't understand what he asked for!

Posted by: Jessica | January 18, 2007 at 05:38 PM

That was precious!

And I am so with ktbug, he totally turned around, saw that it was light outside still, and clearly said "no night, night".
Little dude!

Posted by: jody2ms | January 18, 2007 at 05:40 PM

was that the Declaration of Independence he was reciting?

Posted by: seriously | January 18, 2007 at 05:43 PM

He is so cute!

Posted by: Arwen | January 18, 2007 at 06:05 PM

Want. To eat him. With a spoon.

Seriously, the Cute, it burns!

Posted by: missbanshee | January 18, 2007 at 06:19 PM

What a sweet post! My son Payton is only 15 days older than Noah and he's at the same cave-baby talking stage.

Actually, Payton's mostly a pointer. And when he points he goes, "eennnhhhh?" which always comes out sounding like a question. Or like he's British. So I usually get the impression that he's either asking if he can have whatever he's pointing at or he's asking what something is called. It can be frustrating for both of us.

I've also noticed that his legs are no longer baby smooth because of those little blond hairs and his morning breath no longer smells like baby breath. :(

Posted by: Cara | January 18, 2007 at 06:23 PM

Goodness, he's beautiful! Why can't the aging process just SLOW DOWN.

But y'know, I'm pretty sure at the 26 second mark he says he would "love a brownie".

Posted by: heathabee | January 18, 2007 at 06:50 PM

I love baby chatter. And look on the bright side -- as long as he isn't talking, he isn't talking back.

I did always love figuring out the secret baby language. Then I knew what they were saying and no one else did. Next time, carry him over to where he's pointing and ask him to show you. Then you, too, will learn the secret language of your baby.

( I do agree that he was saying you are the prettiest mommy at Gymboree and he is the luckiest boy to have you and Jason.)

Posted by: Starbuck | January 18, 2007 at 07:15 PM
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