The Curious Incident of the Pizza in the Night-Time
Vindication's Day

MulletWatch 2007: OVER

Or, the Return of the Littlest Mormon Republican.

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We opted to get his hair cut for reals, at a for-reals hair cuttin' place where you can git your hair did up right, mostly because Jason instinctively wrapped his arms around Noah's head and shrieked  GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD whenever he saw me approach with the scissors. Whatever, the shaking totally stops once I get some vodka in my system, but Jason insisted.

So FINE. Fifteen minutes and seventeen damn dollars later, Noah's hair is all business, no party, and 37% less likely to contain hummus from last night's dinner.

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Pros: Dora the Explorer on television to stave off meltdowns.

Cons: They made Noah sit on the lap of some random goober in a striped sweater the whole time. Yeah, her level of excitement over Dora's goddamn backpack totally creeped me out too.

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We brought the lip gloss from home. It's his most favoritest thing ever, especially when I give him all the various lip glosses that I carry around in my purse at the same time. Then he gets to build a fort!

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I am posting this one only because I want someone to explain what the hell that other stylist is doing in the background.  I say either: re-enactment of an awesome slow-motion bikini-carwash movie montage, or: the non-stop video loop of Spongebob has finally driven her around the bend and she's attempting to drown herself very, very slowly.

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Jason seriously said the words "ORIGINAL HAIR" about four times during the haircut. They gave it back to us in a plastic baggie stapled to a certificate, because once you have a baby you become a big fat sentimental weirdo.

(But am I keeping this? OF COURSE I AM KEEPING THIS. IS PRESHUS.)

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After. I admit I'm a little sad that our bath time shampoo mohawks are much less impressive now, but at least I haven't had to comb a booger out of his bangs in days now. Ah, sunrise, sunset. And snot.

Comments

Sarah Marie

Wow, looks like Noah handled it pretty well! I remember my brother's first haircut...he screamed like the woman was trying to decapitate him.

What a cutie!

Occidental_Girl

He is adorable with his new 'do!

The stylist looks like she's testing out the pump action of the spray bottle. WHY she is doing that is another question.

Mrs Butter B

You're so right- preshus.

I bet you have his first shoes bronzed and sitting on the mantle in a perfect setting of whitetrash suburbia, too.

But he does look adorable!

Christine

Can I just say, you are quite awesome? I found your site very randomly because I did a google search one day on "Gap dog sweatshirt." (Yes, I too wanted one for my dog). I came across a posting with a photo of your puppy Ceiba wearing one. The rest is history. Your writing is so very entertaining. Keep it up and thanks for the laughs =).

~ Your newest reader

Meg

Aw! Totally love the new do!!! And of course you keep the hair, heck, I have the lifesaver my dad choked on (he lived, it's on a necklace, that I really don't wear, cause Ew). If we're keeping life savers then you totally have to keep hair.

(I've just proven that everyone else is normal and that I'm totally insane, great)

anne nahm

Aawww... Super cute!

Heather B.

Not gonna lie, I kind of miss the...uh...mullet (It wasn't that much of a mullet, just pseudo-mullet).

Heather

Aw, little Noah looks like such a little boy. So cute!

Ange Paton

What a little man!

I still have my first lock of hair from my first haircut...from 1978! It's so preshus!

jodi

Cartoon Cuts, love it! We go there also, except I think I go to a different one than you.

Congrats to Noah on his first haircut!

Jaime

What a sweetie! He looks like he actually had fun getting his hair cut, unlike the pea who shrieked and clung to me almost the entire time- until she got a lollipop. Don't know what was in it, but it did the trick. And od course I kept the preshus bag of hair stapled to the certificate.

I think I have that lipgloss....

Maxine Dangerous

Lip Gloss Fort. Totally a band name.

Dana

I need some of that magic lip gloss because my toddler goes all howler monkey whenever I attempt to get his hair cut.

Ivie

The certificate is so cute! That is so much better than the snack-sized Ziploc baggies I have around (somewhere) with a bit of each kids' hair!

Queenie

My husband is pushing and pushing HARD for a haircut, but our mouse is only eight months old and she has the fauxhawk/smullet thing going. He's like, "but we just need to trim the pointy thing, or it hangs in her eyes!" and I'm like "NO! DON'T TOUCH!" and I get kinda twitchy. At least you got to the hair-cutty place with minimal parental squicking. Minimal, not nonexistent.

Missie

Want to hug The Clipped One.

jules

Is that other lady trying to be funny for that little girl getting her hair cut? That's the only thing I can come up with...

Starbuck

Could it be that Jason had hair plugs as a child and now has imitation hair? Didn't think so, but that was all I could come up with to explain "original hair".

And while I loved Noah's original hair, I think the new and improved hair looks great, too.

Also think the random goober is lovely.

Jenny H.

OMG!! Could he be any cuter? Must try the lip gloss thing. My youngest is getting his first haircut and I need a distraction. My oldest screams like a girl every time. Then, when he is done? He actually says" there that wasn't so bad now, was it?"!! I HATE HAIRCUTS. And, wouldn't ya know it- they both need one! Must drink wine, BAH!

heather b

that lipgloss looks delicious. also so does that sweater. i need a rocking striped sweater like that!

Jessie

I typically have enough lip glosses in my purse to build a fort too, but am now down to one due to a recent trip to Minnesota and paranoia about the new flying regulations, along with uncertainty if they consider lip gloss a liquid or gel.

Kris

Why do they always look so much older when they get that first haircut? It's like it ages them 6 months in ten minutes. Sigh.

Cute, though!

tori

Such a cutie pie your guy is!

Maybe the little girl was scared and the stylist is showing her that spraying the water is not so scary? Otherwise it's just a little creepy.

amanda

This is the third first haircut entry I have red in a week. I am beginning to fear Kate Hudson weirdness if I don't get my daughter's hair cut soon. In my defense, though she is 2.5, she didn't have hair until about 18 months. Her sister, at 9 months, has more hair. Maybe I can get a twofer deal...

amanda

This is the third first haircut entry I have red in a week. I am beginning to fear Kate Hudson weirdness if I don't get my daughter's hair cut soon. In my defense, though she is 2.5, she didn't have hair until about 18 months. Her sister, at 9 months, has more hair. Maybe I can get a twofer deal...

earlyduckie

Totally sitting here with tears welling up... They grow up WAY too fast! My family keep telling me that Will needs a hair cut too - of course he only has 5 hairs!

Jem

I don't comment often, but I had to comment to say he is just SO cute!

Marcia

The first time my brother got his haircut, the barber cut his ear. There was blood everywhere. He seems to have turned out ok, though. Glad to see Noah made it through unscathed.

whoorl

Holy shit, he's a man!

Fairly Odd Mother

OH! That first little boy haircut just kills me! He looks so grown up all of a sudden, doesn't he? If you miss the longer hair, no worries---it will grow back so fast. You'll get used to parting with $17 over and over and over again.

Rachel

See? This is why I enjoy your posts so much! Thank you for taking me all the way back to my first son's first haircut, Amy. You are wonderful. And that little boy of yours is pretty fabulous, too.

MMM

Cute.

Also.....I think she's taking care of a hot-flash, perhaps??!

MMM

Cute.

Also.....I think she's taking care of a hot-flash, perhaps??!

MMM

Cute.

Also.....I think she's taking care of a hot-flash, perhaps??!

Elizabeth

This post reminded me that I have no idea where the certificates are from the boys' first haircuts! Waaah. Noah looks absolutely ADORABLE.

That stylist in the background is spraying water(?) on the kid's hair, but she's craning her neck to keep her face out of the spray. WHY? What the hell is actually in that spray bottle?

Lisa

Awww! I'm a new reader, and I love the fact that your husband didn't want your little boy to get a hair cut too soon. There is something so precious about the first head of hair! Maybe the stylist in the background is keeping an eye out for UFO's.

cate

What a cute little man! Love his new haircut :) and he sure looks like a happy boy.

Kyla

You+Noah=Twins

I cannot believe how much he favors you.

The hair looks lovely, err, handsome.

jonniker

The idea of his "original hair" never ceases to slay me every time I read it. Like it's some sort of specialized coin printing from the Franklin Mint.

Martha

Awww.

And why is it that they instantly age about two years after getting a haircut?

Treena

How handsome, your little man.

I'm not looking forward to the first cut for my little guy. I haven't come across any specialty children's hairdressers here in Sydney but that is a great idea. I want a certificate and his 'original' hair in a little bag too.

Not sure with the stylist, maybe she's been working with kids too long???

Black Belt Mama

That's the thing about having a boy. You can get their hair cut and not have to deal with the hummus/booger issues. With a girl, it's not so simple. . . because the goal is to get them to look like a girl so old ladies in grocery stores stop saying how cute "he" is even when SHE is wearing pink. . . which means long hair, which means, booger, cream of wheat covered bangs non-stop, all the time, 24/7.

Maria

Love Noah's new 'do!

I think the stylist is howling from the agony of non-stop cartoons.

thejunebug

coming from a mormon democrat, he really does look like a mormon republican. ;) you should fix that, STAT!

and awww, he's really cute. *smoosh*

BOSSY

When Bossy's son was four his hair was long enough to collect into a ponytail. One time he had four-hour play date with the new kid up the street and when Bossy's son said goodbye the new kid turned to his mother and said, "Gee - she was really nice."

Christie

awwwwwwwwww

Léonie

Oh he looks so sweet. I like the idea of him being able to build a fort out of your lipglosses, as well.

Hillarie

Hey Cartoon Cuts. We go there- we love Christina, if that is the one in Rockville. Oh and the lollipops are a great distraction.

I still have my son's first haircut photo on my cell phone. We went to Whole Foods to celebrate with a muffin.

Noah looks very sweet.

averil

holy golden nutsacks you've BUTCHERED HIM, BUTCHERED HIM I SAY!!!!! *raaawwwrrrr*

nah, just kidding, i actually like his hair shorter, more like when he was an iddy widdy widdle babycake! =)

Johanna

I got my son's first haircut this weekend too! I really miss my baby, he looks all grown up and stuff now! I envy you your Dora though... I heard The Wiggles on a constant loop! I guess if it works....

Congrats to you and to Noah!

Wacky Mommy

Preshus moments!

Tripping Daisy

I would totally vote for the Littlest Mormon Republican.

warcrygirl

SQUEEE!!! He's so cute! I just now got my kids their first "real" haircut a few months ago and they are 8 and 5. What have we done for haircuts the last 7 years? We got ourselves one of those fandagled hair trimmers. Can you say "summer buzzcut"?

Mo

He looks absolutely adorable. Totally puts my mind at ease about cutting my monkey's "original hair" which looks almost identical to Noah's mullet!

lynn

Toddlericious! just adorable...
brings back memories of my little blonde boy
and I was the one not wanting to cut his "original hair" in mint condition!
(gets me every time I hear it btw)
My sister-in-law made me cut his bangs so he could see, I would not touch the back, talk about mullet watch. This happened while we were on vacation without a decent scissors, no cartoon cuts in sight, luckily I did take pictures to show his future girlfriends.

wordnerd

Awww -- he did great! What a doll -- and what a big boy he is now.

And I happen to like little Republicans, so there's that!

Robyn

Cutie pie! I had new baby's hair cut just before Christmas. I didn't even try to do it myself. I paid my dues with old baby, now it's the professional's turn!

Tirzah

How cute! Atleast he wasn't crying and freaking out, that would have been bad! Of course your keeping that certificate, it's one of the "firsts!"

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