I am already out of ideas

The Great Return

Motherfucker. The tire's back.


It's been safely stashed in our rented storage locker all this time, but in light of Paris Hilton's recent troubles I decided that was no place for our scandalous personal items like Noah's infant car seat and our spare broken Ikea lamp. Oh, Paris. Always teaching us such valuable lessons.

I was ready to just roll the tire down the basement steps, which is pretty much my solution to everything (laundry, boxes, Christmas decorations, toddlers), but Jason said he actually needed it, since he noticed a nail embedded in one of his tires.

That was a week ago. Sigh. And so it begins. TireWatch 2007: New Year, New House, Same Old Rednecks.

Also on the docket for February:

SpackleWatch, or Why Today's Luxurious Quilted Double Rolls Require Wall Anchors:


MulletWatch, or I Know, I KNOW, But My Husband Won't Let Me Cut It, Even Though Please, I Totally Rock the Home Haircuts:


And finally, BrokeWatch, or Lucky Us, We Get to Upgrade Our Electrical Panel Because Blah Blah Overloaded Circuit Blah Melted Plastic Doohickeys House Go BZZZFFBBT and Up In Flames:


It's been an interesting weekish or so. Thanks for your patience, and it's good to be back. Ish.



Welcome back.


So glad you've made it back! I missed your posts, but COMPLETELY understand the need for a break.

Rock the mullet Noah! Rock it! Business in the front, party in the back!

Amy H

omg. I am so glad you are back. Sorry you had a tough week, but it's nice to see something familiar (hello, spare tire!)

The mullet needs to go. Do you think an internet poll would help your case? "But Jason, the internet said so!" :-)


Thank you for finally coming back!


Love, love, LOVE the mullet. I say give him some pigtails and have him wander around the house. OR threaten to take him outside with his new do. Maybe that will give the hubby a kick in the pants.


In our house? When we need to spackle something? We just move furniture in front of the hole. This has occurred in... let's see... one, two, three... okay, in EVERY ROOM IN OUR HOUSE.

Also, please at least tell me you don't use the Charmin double roll. I am boycotting their toilet paper until they take those commercials featuring bears shitting in the woods off the air.


I missed you! Glad to see a new, cheery, picture-filled post!


Yay! You're back and so is Tyre Watch! You have SO made my day!

Wacky Mommy

Oh, I love a mullet on a baby boy!


Welcome were very very missed!


Oh, Mullet watch. That's what I've been waiting for. Sweet. You should take wagers on it.


Oh thank God. 'sabout damn time. And you're back with a vengeance...mullets and tires and the whole hillbilly lot! Sweet!


Yeah!!!!!!Amalah's back!!!!!


Noah's hair is CU-UTE! I wouldn't cut it just yet either :)

Merry Jennifer

Hooray! I'm so glad you're back --I missed your entertaining posts. Hope you had a nice rest. Hope you GOT some rest.


Hooray! I am so glad you're back. :)


when we bought our house seven years ago we got in trouble because we have two electrical boxes and it needed upgraded. something about not being grounded properly? hell if i know.

homeowners insurance costs us an arm and a leg (i asked if they take children. they answered no. bastards).

have we gotten ours upgraded? hell no. i'm waiting for a small fire first.


The tire is so necessary --- Noah can use it to safely roll down the stairs. Glad to see you back.

Chelsea Croteau

Welcome back! I missed your humour, but I don't blame you for needing a bit of a break.

It's funny how attached I am to someone when I've only read about you. I guess you really are a celebrity huh? :-)


Welcome back - to you and the tire. Glad to see you're getting life back to normal, despite the new living quarters.

Mrs. CPA

At least you have a toilet paper holder in this house! I think that totally balances out the reemergence of the tire.


Tire! Mullet! Amalah! Yay!!!!


Hope that the break brought some peace, but DAMN! welcome back.


Somehow i got so excited by reading that entry that i spilled coffee all over my desk, cleaned it up with an inappropriate object (paper, lined paper- shaken not stirred) and then, low and behold, ended up putting a bleach like product in my hair. and its not even noon yet.


Dude...You are letting the Toddler Owen Wilson turn into the Toddler Billy Ray Cyrus.

Not cool, man. Not cool.

Lucky for you, he's cute enough to carry it off.


Welcome back! We missed you and the tire ;-)

Did the Tivo overload your circuits?


I'm so glad you're back. It was quite sad to check in every couple of days and see the word "Curtains" up there. Am drama queen. Wlcome back.

Perhaps you could convince Jason to turn that tire into a tire swing! Because you have house! And yard! In suburbs! And that's what we all do!



Welcome back! What exactly did you have to turn on all at once to melt plastic thingies? We blow a circuit if we run the toaster, microwave and diswasher. Took us five times to figure that one out!


I missed you so much!!!!
And I am so pathetic!!!
It's hard to believe that someone I don't even know can make me so happy!! Here, have some more exclamation points!!!!!

Suzy Q

You wanna talk Jason out of that mullet? Show him a picture of Kate Hudson's boy. Because that is what can happen.

Nice to have you back!

Silly Hily

Did you get Noah's shirt at Gymboree? My son has one just like it and the cutest little pair of overalls that go with it. Oooooh, overalls. Now those would give a nice touch to the mullet. Yes? My son is 9.5 months and is already is serious need of a haircut but my husband doesnt' want me to cut it yet. What's with these men and not cutting hair?


Just cut it while Jason is out of the house. ^_-


Hiya! Good to see you back in the ol' non-contractually obligated 'blogging saddle', as it were. I hear ya on the toddler hair--I'm afraid to cut my daughter's continually lengthening hair (OMG, it GROWS), yet the flyaway wispiness is driving me batshit crazy.

Long live the tire!


So did you miss us?


So happy to see that you are back! So do you have to wait two years to cut his hair like Madonna and Kate Hudson?

The Yap

THANK GOD! I keep checking your site and then cringing hoping to see something new! Welcome back!

I second the vote for Noah pigtails! I bet he would look so pretty!


Um ... you are NOT a redneck until you part the broken IKEA lamp and tire, along with a broken fridge on your front porch .... right across the yard from your broken down 1978 chevy on blocks.


with the mullet, i gaurentee one time in pigtails will have your husband racing to the kiddie salon


Love the tire! Love the baby mullet! And I totally feel ya on the wonky electrical system. We blow a circuit if we try to use the Foreman grill and the microwave at the same time. And some genius put half of our kitchen and all of our office on the same circuit. Hello? Running two computers plus various other electronic gadgets in there!


Good to see you made it back. Hope the blog vacation was restful. I'm actually happy to see the return of the tire, because I think I actually kind of missed it a little.


welcome back tire.

Anne Glamore

Two of my boys are rocking mullets, but I don't have the "he's a preshus baby" excuse because they're 8 and have braces and stinky feet. Really I've been too lazy to make a hair appt and they run fast when I go for the scissors.

Reppin' the rednecks here in Alabama!

Noah, on the other hand, can get away with this for a while in a Ryder Robinson kind of way.


De-lurking to say that it's good to have you back. I have been at a loss as to what to read at my desk during lunch. So thanks for the entertainment.



Oh, gol, you slay me.


I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you are back. I missed the wonderful posts! As for the mullet? Tie his hair with a nice pink ribbon... Jason will be begging you to cut it!


oh my god! I have missed your posts so much!
It was like Christmas when I saw the picture of the tire. Of course, it probably doesn't feel that way for you! Did you ever get money for your babybeat referral? I totally put you down for a referral when I rented a doppler!


Missed you and I'm glad you're back!


YES so happy you're back but still very supportive of your need to take some time for yourself. Hope things stop catching fire in the new house...unless it's the tire and you can roll that flaming thing right on out your door.


I am so glad you are back!! My seven year old loves to see pictures of Noah! I have to admit this, almost every night, he asks to see "the baby movie" (Noah's birthday vimeo post)and just loves it!
So glad you and your tire are back! My seven year old will be so happy tonight with new pics!


Welcome to the joys of home ownership. Our toilet paper holders weren't anchored either. What is with that?

I hope you never have to deal with the types of problems we're having with our water.


We're on mullet watch as well over here. But seeing as my kid is a girl, and has very little hair to begin with...turns out I am the holdout on getting it cut.

But it's still a mullet. It's like living with tiny Kid Rock.

Miss Britt

I'm trying to figure out what kind of furniture you could move in front of the hole caused by the non-anchored toilet paper holder...


Thanks for coming back. :)


As an homage to Haiku Smackdown on Thursdays:

How I missed the tire;
photos of cute noah too.
so happy you're back


glad you're back!

Miss W

Welcome back, Tire! We have missed you so!


oh, how i've missed that tire.
shall we warn the neighbors about you and your redneck ways?!?


I missed you!!


Thank you for coming back, I thought maybe I should send chicken soup. Long live the tire!

Oh and by the way, Noah is damn cute!

Mrs. Q.

Missed ya, redneck. And the tire.

And I totally don't know what to do with the Little Man's hair. I love long hair on little boys, like on Cindy Crawford's son, by my guy's is growing in very strange- half mullet, half comb-over. Um...

Sally Reynolds

Just to be the gazillionth person to say it - Welcome Back!

No, no, no to long(even -ish) hair on boys - just cut it when Jason is out and say that you washed it using water that was just a little too hot!


Yeehaw! Amalah's back! (We missed you!)

I swear, that tire is stalking you.


It's been so dull without you, Amy! Really, it made a crappy winter drag by even more slowly! We never TIRE of you! Keep the hair a while longer--you'll be glad you did!


Glad you're back! And sorry you have to deal with expensive electical troubles...


Good to see you and the tire again!


Yay you're back! I took a "mental wellness" day off from work yesterday and hope you obtained seven or eight times as much satisfaction as that from your week-ish off. Reason #24565 why I married Brad - totally USEFUL with electricity! Installs extra breakers in the breaker box on demand! Installed outlets for Christmas lights! On the downside he mourns the loss of his own mullet so I can only imagine the haircut woes any sons we have will experience...


So glad you are back!! MIssed you so much!

Katerkins VonTabletop

I'm so glad YOU'RE back!

Y from The Internet

Dude, I'm nervous for you with the electrical thingy because...Electrical explosions!

Missed you. So glad you're back-ish!



Oh. My. God. Withdrawal is finally over. Thank effing Jesus.

My daughter's wall looks like your bathroom. My husband attempted to hang a shelf. Six times over the span of two weeks. Several screws (not the fun kind), wall anchors, plastic doohickies, lots of cursing (by me), and some spackle later, it's hung. Now I have to paint over the spackle. Oh joy.

I kinda like the mullet.


I was going to say welcome back, but everyone already beat me to it. I will just say hello.


I'm going to let KayTar take over the comments on this one.

Regarding the awesomeness of your home haircutting skills: "Pre!" (which means Pretty!)

Regarding the back of Noah's mullethead: "Bay!" while signing Baby.

There ya go.


Tell the truth Amy. You intentionally didn't photograph the bottom half of the toilet paper roll because you didn't want the OCD over-hand toilet paper hangers to terrorize you.


I missed your entries, Amy! I'm glad you're back! I know you feel that what you say is boring, but truly, it's not! Exclamation point!

The hair cut thing reminds me of the episode of Full House where uncle Jesse refuses to let the boys get a hair cut, and finally they end up at the barber shop, and while he and Becky argue over whether or not to cut the hair, the barber (Joey, dressed up as someone different) cuts the hair... and they look even cuter than before! :)


thanks for returning!


ah! so glad to see you are back. i now have fun things to read at work.


thank goodness you're back.
i had to do crazy things while you were gone--like look for other blogs to read.
it was exhausting.


It's good to have you back. Ish.

(Okay, okay. I totally missed you and checked everyday, you know, just in case. Much as I enjoy the Quaalude Blog and Swearing Blogs, they just aren't the Amy Blog and I heart the Amy Blog the most.)

Salsa Queen

As the Internets breathes a huge sigh of relief. The tire is back! So is Amalah! So is Noahlah! All is right with the world. You've all been missed.




You are smart to get the tire out of the storage unit. Now please tell me how come Paris wasn't smart enough to pay her storage unit fee? Dude.

Welcome back. The internet missed you.

Heather B.

Hell, even I missed you. ;-)


Welcome back, glad you made it. :)


welcome back! i broke my butt over the weekend and i'll have been looking forward is for your return. it's been a slow week in daytime TV.




I almost busted out laughing when I saw the tire.

Hugs from us internets


Be sure to shape the mullet to form a nice rat tail.Those are awesome. So glad you and the tire are back.


I think Jen-Again's Haiku says it best-welcome back!


Thank god you're back.

My aunt let my younger cousins hair get like that and now its a BIG CURLY MESS. But it's his signature...


I agree with Traci. Rattails are cool. Also? Sweatband and Ray-bans, please. Let Noah rock that look like it's 1989.
Glad you're back. Hope your break gave you some well-deserved rest.


Oh so glad you are back. BigDaddyFish and I joke that wherever we go, we bring down the class of the neighborhood by at least 40%. So glad the tire is still hanging on.

And my kids think Noah's cute with the mullet, for whatever that's worth...


God, what a comeback! You AND the tire!

You should set up a thing were amalah readers mail something of yours to each other and take pictures of themselves with that thing to send to you. It could get quite hilarious.

Don't ask what made me think up that idea because it did NOT come from wanting a picture of myself with the tire. Because, that would be silly.

(I love you amalah's tire!!)

Abra Leah

Same thing happened to our plastic plug protecting thingy a few weeks ago!


Yay you're back! Woohooo! And so's the tire...oh crap. lol


Love the mullet. Eh, I usually don't give my boys haircuts till they're about two and the fluffiness + food in hair really gets to me. Plus I'm not ready till then to see them looking older.


Since your kid already has a mullet, you could just hang that tire from the living room ceiling and make a swing out of it. You know? Pop the tab on a Pabst Blue Ribbon and get to swinging the toddler when you hear Jason open the door.


So glad you're back!! I've missed your posts.


This has nothing to do with your post. How do you feel about the recent articles talking about how the keepsake 3D/4D ultrasounds are now bad for your baby? I want to get one sooooo bad, and I know that you got one of Noah.


So glad you are back. You were missed!


Welcome back! Glad to see you're still surviving.

Ms. C

I nearly pissed my pants when I saw the tire at the top of the post.
Thanks for that, and for your return.

The comments to this entry are closed.