Ties that bind.
Parenthood = Redefining Hell on a Daily Basis

Back from the Brink

Bleh.

So while no members of my family showed up at my house to kill me after that last post, my preshus son certainly gave it a sporting effort. I once again fell victim to that parenting phenomenon where your kid gets a single solitary ooky diaper and then BLAMMO, you are beyond violently ill for the next 24 hours, crouched on the bathroom floor and praying for the sweet release of death, or at least begging your stomach to GIVE IT UP ALREADY, YOU ARE COMPLETELY EMPTY YET CONTINUE TO PUNISH ME, WHY, WHYYYYY?

Ahem. What? Enough with the vomit talk? Okay!

(Shall I shake you down for some more money instead? We're at $5,430 [dudes! awesome!] -- 78% of our goal. I have a wine-and-cheese cocktail party this weekend with our community council and neighbors and really don't want to go with pink hair. Especially since I think they may already not like us because ours is the only recycling container with so many glass bottles instead of plastic, not that I would ever check and maybe dump a couple wine bottles into someone else's recycling container and then deliberately put our empty milk cartons on top or anything. No. I would never do that. Anyway, Stacy and Heather still need your donations. Thanks!)

Anyway, thanks for bearing with me as I attempt to claw my way back to health and sanity. I was going to reward your patience with a hilarious video of Noah throwing a terrifically pointless and snot-nosed little temper tantrum -- the kind of video that would generate a lot of tsk-tsks from people because HOW DARE I MOCK MY CHILD'S PAIN FOR SHINY INTERNET NICKELS -- but there's something wrong with the file and I can't get it to upload correctly.  Damn it.

So here, you get this instead.

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Comments

Shelley

HAHA! HIGHlarious picture! Hope you're all back to feeling 100% soon!

Secha

Love the pic! Hope you're feeling better soon. =(

heather b

YAY for ceiba and her butthat. Is that like an Asshat? Is this the actual definition? I always thought it was an ass to the head, like a hat, but perhaps it really is a Hat for the Ass.

heather b

YAY for ceiba and her butthat. Is that like an Asshat? Is this the actual definition? I always thought it was an ass to the head, like a hat, but perhaps it really is a Hat for the Ass.

Maxine Dangerous

First thought: Conebutt. :)

Aimee

Yuck! I hope you're both feeling better soon. That does not sound like fun. (especially when the tummy pyrotechnics are accompanied by a snotty toddler).

Love the asshat. It's so Ceiba.

Tuesday

God I love that dog. What kind of dog is she anyway?

Amalah

I cannot believe I did not think to caption that photo as Asshat. Am slipping, yo. I blame dehydation and exhaustion.

Tuesday - Ceiba is a Miniature Pinscher, which means she's supposed to look like an itty bitty Doberman. I think she looks more like a snausage.

Starbuck

Sorry you've been sick but glad you are feeling better.

Also, Ceiba?? Love it. Made me think of your adventures with the Pee-Pee Tee-Pee.

Sha

Feel better soon! I love the pic..you could probably sell those as an alternative to pooper scoopers! It could be a whole new business for you!

Kyla

I hate the pukies. Blech. Glad you are feeling better.

Jessica

Feel Better!
There is a monster language explosion just ahead for Noah -- it is incredible how fast they pick-up on words!
I gave money to Heather too -- Good Luck to them!

jodi

ARGH, stomach stuff is the worst. I had a dental hygenist accuse me of being bullimic today b/c of problems with my enamel (I'm not, but if I was I wouldn't tell her), and I thought I'd rather do anything than throw up!

At least you stayed in the same room with your toddler having a tantrum, I just leave the room.

Glad you are feeling better and you survived the home visit.

BOSSY

Thwarting you and your quest to maximize and monetize his cuteness potential? Just wait until he's a teenager.

Maria

Ceiba is such a party animal!

Feel better soon.

AmyM

HA! Asshat. That's funny right there. I love a Ceiba pic just as much as the next girl, but seriously....where is Max? What have you done with him?

Y from the Internet

My ass is in ur party hat ripping farts.

Tessa

BWAH! Ceiba looks like a strangely colored Bee! Too Cute! Glad you're feeling more alive girl. SODA CRACKERS... if you can hold those down you're golden.

Amy M

Ugh . . . sorry to hear you're feeling ucky!

I'm glad Ceiba doesn't thwart your quest to maximize and monetize her cuteness potential!
Mmmm... snausages.

mk

Feel Better wino!

I can;t wait to see the video!!! I love that you want to post it! It willmake me fell better as my daughter is really into them right now! Fun - especially in the middle of costco!

Tam.

Hope you are feeling better soon...but hey, at least you're not 40!!! I'm forty today, but it's alright...I've got an awesome 11 mos. old who is taking a kickass nap right now and my husband is coming home early so I can go get my brows done... then, I'm going to cook dinner... How exciting is THAT???!! Okay, it's pretty sad... Hope you are feeling better soon! Oh, and Ceiba's ass looks fantastic in that hat!!!!!!!!!

Tirzah

Awww Ceiba and her blues clues butt! It's so cute! You can tell she's a good tempered dog since she's not dangling from the camera!!!

teachbroeck

Ceiba shit out Blue!

karla

Asshat! Best word ever!

Chantelle Burke-Allman

I too, am sick as I write this...Flu or just knocked-up...hmmmm....? Anyways, I'm glad your family didn't give you any grief over the previous post. The internet is a tricksy thing...It allows us to vent, yet when we do- everyone can "hear" it. I've had my own troubles with public posting(thanks FACEBOOK, you bitch). Anyways, take care and get well

SunSpotBaby

ARRRGGGHHHHH!!! I KNEW I shouldn't have read any further - now I will be praying to the porcelain god since all anyone has to do is MENTION stomach flu, and I get it!! At least it sounds like it didn't last long (right?). Hope you feel much better now - and I promise I won't send dagger thoughts to you if I do get it! You make me smile when I read your blog.

paintingchef

Our recycling goes out in shifts. Because if anyone were to see just how many wine bottles the two of us put away in a week the god squad would be all over us. (I think we've just started to dent the bottles from Christmas.)

Glad you're feeling better. Off to donate!

Katie Kat

ASSHAT! Priceless. I also love the "oddly colored bee" reference. Too funny!

Sorry about the puke-fest. I've done that at least 3 times in the last 6 months, which is odd because I NEVER get the stomach flu (awwww, damns, I just jinxed myself for sure).

Just try to lie down with a cold cloth on your head, and don't even THINK about runny, undercooked eggs. Oh... SORRY (I'm so cruel sometimes). :)

Zu

Ha - Ceiba is a Party Pooper. Get well soon, I'm looking forward to the tantrum video. Drink Coke and eat crackers. It works for me every time.

Lori

You never fail to make me laugh out loud. And make my kids wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Thank you!

Wacky Mommy

Aren't all the wine bottles a tax deduction? Business expenses and all. (Cute butt, Ceiba.)

heidi

do asshats come in baby bum size 3? i bet they'd work better at containing my 8 month old's blowouts than her diapers, which merely slow the poo down on its way to her clothes. wait, did you say something about a weak stomach?

Britt

Hee! I'm going to try the party hat trick with my doxi Brat - she's going to hate me.

Susann

Is it terrible that I'm happy someone out there is sick too? I NEVER get stomach flu pukey ughs, and was convinced it was food poisoning, but now 2 days later, I'm still on the bathroom floor like you. Its like the great family Norovirus Christmas of 2006... consequently my fiance's first intro to my family. How's that for some fun?

Julianna

Awesome.

cce

Don't feel bad about your recycling bin. At our house we have soooo many glass containers by the end of two weeks that we have to drive the bins to the curve. A car full of fun you could say. AND we live on Main Street so everyone in town gets to drive by on Tuesdays and make snarky comments about our alcohol consumption.

cathy walker

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR BLOG I HAVE BEEN READING
THE ARCHIVES I AM UP TO WHERE U HAD NOAH AND POOR CEIBA FRACTURED HER LEG. FORGIVE MY GRAMMAR I SUCK. U R AWESOME

cathy walker

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR BLOG I HAVE BEEN READING
THE ARCHIVES I AM UP TO WHERE U HAD NOAH AND POOR CEIBA FRACTURED HER LEG. FORGIVE MY GRAMMAR I SUCK. U R AWESOME

Y from the Internet

So, I just noticed the new ad running on my site and OF COURSE, it made me think of you. GO MEAT! DOT COM!

Beeeeeeeflogggggs!

Heather

I cannot thank you and your readers enough for ALL of your kind words and support as we raise money for breast cancer. How incredibly cool to work together with those we don't even know for a common cause. Seriously, THANK YOU!!!!

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