On having a boy


Ok, so it really does not take much to make me cry. Am hopelessly weepy and sentimental and I may be crying RIGHT NOW just from trying to think of an example of something lame and ridiculous that recently made me cry. Like that Free Hugs video. Or those Kleenex commercials with the couch. Or the heartbreaking beauty of my pizza bagel.

All of that setup to say NO FAIR WITH THESE COMMENTS. All the honesty and bonding and gorgeous tributes to your boys and your girls and Christ, my eyes got all blinky and shit while reading them. (ALL of them, plus the emails, every one, yes.) So...thank you.

In a similar vein, thank you to everybody who recommended the Ellyn Satter book after the OMFG MY KID WON'T EAT GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH IF I DON'T MURDER HIM FIRST post. (Uh. This one.) I finally went out and bought it last Friday (and bumped into reader Krista* while there, in a overwhelming confluence of Internetness) and spent the entire weekend reading it while slapping myself in the forehead.

A couple of the big mistakes I made:

1) Caring, obviously.

2) Doing the short-order cook thing, where I'd whisk away a rejected food and make him something else, and then something else after that.

3) Trying to force a spoon into his mouth because I figured if he'd just TASTE it, he'd LIKE it.

4) Entirely too much juice and milk between meals.

5) Completely unrealistic portion sizes.

6) Did I mention the caring? How very desperately I cared? Which resulted in hovering and hand-wringing and the renting of garments and probably some liver damage?

Wow, that's way more than a couple mistakes. I am a freaking moron.

Last night Noah ate chicken. And fresh fruit. And lentils. He gobbled up matzo brei (also known as the Hangover Special in our house) without even hesitating. Today he ate a meatball and applesauce and part of my pizza bagel. The Squish Test is no more. We smile at each other during meal times now.

I honestly cannot believe how quickly Ellyn's advice turned things around. He refused to eat a bite of about two or three meals, but I refused to care. I fought the temptation to make up for those meals with cups of milk or juice. And then...boom! He started eating. Tasting foods he's refused to even try for months now. Eating everything on his plate and then asking for more.

I'm just...dude. THANK YOU, INTERNETS.

Don't get me wrong -- he's still kind of weird. He eats his applesauce off the tip of his index finger because he refuses to use his spoon. I have to check his nose after every meal because of his penchant for shoving food up there. (THANK YOU to wilddreemer for the plugging-a-nostril-blowing-into-mouth trick: that saved us from at least two trips to the emergency room and/or having to explain why my son has a lentil plant growing out of his nose.)

Yesterday we gave him a little Easter basket -- I filled it with some cute Easter-related toys he has owned and ignored since being in utero and a few of those plastic eggs full of snacks. Cheerios, puffed rice and what I figured would be the big hit of the day, a couple Hershey Kisses. He tentatively licked the chocolate, smiled politely and then handed them back to me. The puffed rice was his favorite.


That's just weird. Luckily, I have no problem eating pre-licked Kisses.

Because that's not weird at all.

* And one final THANK YOU to Krista, for leaving out the truly SCANDALOUS detail from our meeting in your comment, which was that my hair was most decidedly un-pink. I feel the need to confess it anyway. I don't know whether the dye is losing its potency or my hair is getting resistant, but I'm having a slut bitch of a time keeping the color in. And after noticing that the full-head applications were turning my hair into crunchy straw I backed down to just a couple pink streaks. Weird suspicious looks from the neighbors are one thing, but crunchy straw hair is quite another. (Also: I am sorry, fuck cancer and all, but there was no way I was going spend the next five years looking at hot pink hair in my driver's license photo.) If I don't apply the color about every other day it washes out almost completely.  It's a messy and time-consuming process, and with a fragillion blogs to update and the gentle soul of a child to nurture...yeah. Every other day doesn't always happen.

Anyway, we're a mere $990 away from our goal of $7,000 and my release from pink-zebra-stripe-hair-hell. I'm almost out of aluminum foil and my cuticles look like I've been marinating them in beet juice. (Yes, gloves would be smart. Remembering to buy gloves AT THE STORE instead of the minute I get home would be EVEN SMARTER.)

I apologize for all of my many hair-related deceptions. Here's a photo of me right now, freshly re-highlighted.   


As always, I am incapable of getting my entire forehead in the frame. Brilliant.



I think I actually like this particular variation of your pink hair the best. :)


the hair still looks great in pink, whether it's just a few streaks or not!


I have to say... the pink tips are VERY rock star. I kind of love it.

And I'm so very glad things are going better with Noah and the food. A friend of mine is dealing with the same thing with her little boy right now but he's like... three. And he's just learned that if he doesn't like it, he can just fuss and she'll keep fixing him something until he gets what he wants. I kind of want to pinch him every time we're in a restaurant together. So yeah... best to avoid that whole thing.


Dude. You're still brave to be doing the pink, no matter how much or little.

And Noah is so dang cute that if I didn't already have kids I would want kids because of him but because I already have two that are driving me nuts and are coming of Easter-Related-SugarHigh-Syndrome..His little scrunchy happy look like, "Dude! Plastic Eggs! Score!" is just so sweet.


Yay Noah! Yay Amy! Happy mealtimes, wu-hoo!

And I agree with Kris, I like this version of pink hair best. Not that you asked. But it's reminiscent of Gwen Stefani's wedding dress, not that I'm a big fan of Gwen Stefani or her wedding dress. I'm just saying.


Glad to hear Noah is eating better now. Thanks for the confession - you are very honest. I like the pink highlights.


Did you ever take reader advice and get a button or something that says 'ask me why my hair is pink'

I wonder how many donations you wuold get from that?!


I dont know if anyone has told you yet... but all those punky hair colors only stick to processed hair. And it does wash out quickly because its a stain and not actually a dye, (thats why you dont mix with developer). And it gets on everything. My whole head is fire engine red, and so are my pillows, my white shirts, and occasionally my cat.

So worth it.

Jenny H.

Am totally loving the hair. It's a glamour choice!

Good luck on getting the rest of your moolah!

That picture of Noah was adorable! My youngest was totally unfazed by the eggs-both real and plastic! The candy? He likey!

Maxine Dangerous

Like many, I like very much the pink-tipped hair. You remind me of that chick from Berlin. The band. Not the city.


Kids are weird, period. My oldest doesn't like fudge, most kinds of cereal, or frosting, but loves Frank's Red Hot on most things that you can put Frank's Red Hot on. My daughter eats tomatoes like they are candy, and the baby will eat nothing but carbs and drink nothing but water. But hey...no cavities!


I am starting to turns the tides of the food battle with my daughter. She ate AN. ENTIRE. MEAL. last nite!!!
PS Your hair look better this way!

Fraulein N

Love the hair! I agree, it's very rock star.


Amy, if you are renting your garments, please let me have the first crack at your shoes.
You are the best writer extant, just so you know.


The hair is very Gwen Stefani, I like it. I love the ever present Ceiba in the picture of Noah. She looks like she's just waiting for him to spill the contents of that egg.

mr nice guy

wow, the hair. i'd totally marry you if it weren't for the you're-already-married-with-a-kid thing and also if my wife would let me.


I still do the short-order cook thing not because I want to cook three meals a day but because if I try Hubby just goes behind my back and makes Jr a sandwich. Why bother? Also: the pink rocks but I think bright blue would rock even harder and it may stay in longer. But I just color to hide the grey so what do I know?


Yeah, Bossy approves of the pink tips too - they exude wit.


Wow that last picture of you, Noah actually does resemble you A LOT! Glad to hear you managed to avoid a lentil farm, i'm just shocked your kid eats lentals. wow your lucky!

shy me

OOOH, I likes the pink tips!


Love the pink! It looks excellent. Blonde hair is notoriously hard to color anything other than, uh, blonde, so I think this new tips thing is a good move. Looks healthy. And so punk rock.

Congrats on the food thing. I'm wondering if this Ellyn Satter writes any books on canine separation anxiety? Because it sounds like she's a miracle worker. Or just really plain smart.


As Slater commented, you'd need to bleach your hair to get the color to stick for more than a couple of days. It'll still wash out, but pink especially fades nicely from Hot Hot to Easter Bunny over the course of a few weeks.


Um, on a different note, is that a Digital Rebel? I'm jonesing for a digital SLR...


I totally dig the pink ends. In fact, if I looked like you, I would do it to my hair, too.

And don't beat yourself up over the food stuff. Noah now thinks he is selecting his own diet and all these yummy foods were HIS idea. And that was the goal all along, right? That makes you a very *smart* mommy for asking for help.

Also, I so love the hair!!! Love, love, love it.


I can't believe I teared up watching the Free Hugs video. A couple even escaped down my cheeks. At work. I'm so profeshunul.

mama speak

on the candy thing--my husband's like that. not so much on the candy, especially the chocolate. I wish I could be like that. Now ice cream, a whole different story...Noah has his weakness just give him time.

Glad to hear things are better on the food front, just remember, it's almost always a power struggle and he who cares least has the most power (just like dating).

Love the hair, you've inspired me to do the same only my stylist suggested extentions instead so that I don't damage my hair. (I'm 38 & don't dye it, cause I have no grey, why mess with a good thing.)


Dude, those pink highlights are bangin cool- WAY better than all of your hair being pink.

BTW- I have three boys. I also wanted a girl: JUST ONE GIRL, damn it! But these boys melt my heart. And, according to them, I am their Queen. It doesn't get better than that. :-)


Amy -
an old friend from PIR here. I thought you might like to check this kick ass little woman out!




yeah, ok, the hugs video made me cry too.


Never tell people you cannot get your forehead in the picture - tell them you are incredibly creative and have artistically cropped the picture to look like that.


Tonight my two year old wouldn't even sit down for dinner! And I yelled, and put him in time out. So bad, Iknow. I need to get this book.

And matza brei? Non-jews eat that? That's my favorite passover breakfast.

stay-at-home mommy

Thank you so much for the hugs video! Loved it. :)


Because of your earlier post, I also looked into that book, and might I proudly say my 16 month old is eating TONS better too. You guys rule! Love the hair.


That photo looks like Noah in a rockin pink and blonde wig. *lol* That is to say your adorable son is the spitting image of his mommy.

PS: Glad Noah is eating! :)


You look so Gwen Stefani with that hair. I, on the other hand, would look like a block of Neopolitan ice cream. And...no one wants that.

Amanda Cowan

My daughter has the same "finger-tip" eating thing. She will open a pb&j, and scrape the pb&j up with her index finger and eat that..then fold the bread back up and eat the sandwich.. minus the pb&j.. weird. And chocolate? She's pretty much the same. unless they are choc. covered raisins. For some reason she loves choc. covered raisins. Where did she get the choc. covered raisins? Um.. I plead the 5th.

Vaguely Urban

Hair so pretty. And it even looks soft!

So glad Mr. N is no longer in danger of wasting away. We need him to continue to supply us with squishy goodness.


Blond with pink ends is really cute on you. I like it a lot better than the other picture you posted.


I must get that book NOW! My little one willeat with a vengence on some days and barely eat on other days. I am stressing about what he is eating, if he is getting enough nutrients.... And the pink tips are the BEST!


I agree about the pink tips -- the contrast is much more striking and impressive than the allover pink. Rock on. I'd love to do the crazy color thing, but I'm still stuck in the suity pantyhose office job, so I'll stick to growing it out to donate it.

A friend did the Avon walk last year, and it's a lot harder than you'd think. So fund this team, folks! Help the sistas out! (No, I don't know them.)


I like the new hair. =) It looks good having the bottom parts done! And you can always cut it out afterwards, if need be.

Glad to hear Noah is eatting better~ ^^


The hair looks hot... reminds me of the lead singer out of "Berlin"... "take my breathe awaaaay", but different colours of course.

Now, the Free Hugs man, I see him ALL the time and have always avoided him, because I am not quite comfortable with hugging strangers in Sydney's Pitt Street Mall. But that video, is beautiful and I am so going to get a hug next time I am shopping on a Thursday night.

Krista Gipson

About a minute after you left, I thought "hair pink not" then that thought was shot down as most are as I chased after Becca. It was cool to meet you, although I must admit I saw Noah first. He is a rock star. I am glad the book is helping. If Noah needs a "peer mentor" for the eating thing, Becca can help. She especially loves eating other people's food making me look like I NEVER feed her and/or give her anything good.

I sent an email also, but it is to the advice smackdown one even though I am not asking for advise in it. Please don't shun me!

Oh, and I also like the current look. I would love to do the pink highlights, but my hair is too dark and I am too lazy to maintain.


Just wanted to add my own two cents about the boy v. girl thing. When I first got pregnant, I just expected to have a girl. I'm an only child and had little to no experience with little boys. My husband and I picked out a beautiful, strong girl's name - then found out we were having a boy.

Now, two boys later, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. They tell me I'm beautiful, they want to marry me, always live with me, etc. - all the things everyone says.

They make my heart break with joy every time I look at them - well, almost every time. And I'm going to raise them up to be the most awesome of men. Their wives will adore me!

Mrs Butter B

Just wanted to share a funny:

Since we moved to the East Coast from the pits of redneck hell, I've found many more blog readers. Heck, its nice just not having to explain what a blog is now.

Anyway, someone the other day told me she loved the latest post on the Gwyneth Paltrow-looking lady's blog. The one she can't pronounce with the dog whose name she can't pronounce.

The one who recently died her hair pink to help save breastesess. (Yes, that's how she said it).

Guess what? Through my amazing investigative skills (thank you CSI: Miami), we determined she meant you.

So do you get told you look like GP a lot? Because now that she pointed out the resemblance, I kind of see it too.


Oh, kid totally housed a pb&j sandwhich and then that really lovely green bean/TJ's green plant mixture. Which to me looks a bit like vomit, but he drinks it the way I drink a vodka tonic; very quickly.

Oh and I totally forgot to mention the pink. And is it just me, or does it look a lot brighter in person? Either way, it kicks ass.

Wacky Mommy

The eating thing is enough to drive you bats, isn't it? I thought it was bad. Until we got lice.


You had me at "slut bitch of a time".


I still don't understand how to make sure my son eats enough that he isn't WAKING UP AT 1AM TO EAT. I tried to read the book and it gave me a headache, although I think I got the gist of it. Congratulations to you!

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