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Thank God y'all are so easy to please...

...because the past few days have gone like this:

Snot. More snot. Allergies? Zyrtec! Snot. Hmm. Sinus infection? Snot snot. Snot. Ear infection? Oh. Well, crap. And also snot.

Poor Noah. He is not well. And he has to deal with parents who call him "Snotface" in public, to the horror of other people in line at the Target pharmacy. It's a term of endearment, honest! Just like Pinchy McSquishbutt.

Don't ask.

Hey! Look! Here's the tire! It's still down in the basement.


Shut up, Tire. You're obviously drunk.



Could I borrow that tire to wrap around the tree at the end of our zip line. Had a neighborhood first grader hit that tree at mock speed on Saturday, breaking her arm and causing us much concern over lawsuits and other such unpleasantness. Good thing for us her parents are kind and understanding people with four children and therefore little time or energy to consider lawsuits OR unpleasantness. I think they're on a valium drip over there...whatevere it takes to get through the day.
Hope you all get rid of the sniffles soon.


suburban targetites have no sense of humor.


It's been so long ago that I've forgotten..... but how did you first get the tyre lurking about?


Ah yes, we have also had the running of the snot here. Did you know Triaminic makes those thin strips for toddler? Of course the trick is getting the toddler to actually open their mouth wide enough to put the strip on their tongue, and then keep them from immediately scraping it off with their fingers.

It was nice of you to leave the tire with both beer AND Coke Zero, for when it needs a little sugar-free caffeine pick up.


Tire: "I'm in ur base mint, drinken ur beerz!"


Wait, I still call my son Chunkmaster Flex in public. Is that wrong??


it's a spare tire!


My very favorite part of this is that apparently, your "tyre" thinks it's British. As if changing the spelling makes it sophisticated or something. Of course, the beer gives that sweet talkin' piece o' rubber away - even Madonna can do better!


The story of the tire, in a nutshell:

Jason bought it as a spare for his car, but his car is too small to hold a full-size spare. So he brought it inside and left it in our condo's foyer. FOR MONTHS. FOR AGES AND AGES.

So I started a TireWatch on the site and took pictures of it every day in a passive-aggressive attempt to shame him into moving the damn tire.

Finally he stuck in the storage locker we rented when we put our place on the market. And then after we moved he brought it to the new house and left it...sitting in the foyer.

He finally moved it to the basement on Valentine's Day.

Anyway, a lot of readers became very attached to the tire during TireWatch, and ask for updates occasionally.

The end!


Yay! Tire!


I'm thinking of starting a similar series of posts called BrokenTVWatch because the TV that broke LAST August? is still sitting in our laundry room. Next to the broken recliner.

I think we are one garden gnome away from being able to hold a barbecue down there.


Drunk on Lager? How much did it have?


Poor Noah!

The Tyre needs to stay away from the lager ;-)

Amy H

Tire! Yessss.

sorry Noah still has a case of the yuks. I know it feels like it will never end. Maybe just ground him and see if he can straighten himself up. "You go to your room and think about what you did!"
doesn't work on a toddler? well then maybe YOU should go to YOUR room and hide.


There is enough snot in the 1st paragraph to make *me* feel sick!

But I love Pinchy McSquishbutt.


I ALWAYS call my son snotface in public! People in line be danged! Snotface is the most loving of terms, it ranks right up there with my other long term favorite; stinker.

Wacky Mommy

In these uncertain times, it is nice to know that some things don't change.


I am jealous of the tire because Yuengling is my FAVORITE beer but they don't sell it in CA. Maybe the tire will share????


Amy's Valentine's Day present: Jason moving tire (tyre?) to the basement!

*I* think Pinchy McSquishbutt is a perfectly lovely term.

One of the Amy's

The tire lives, IT LIVES!!! Let us all pause for a moment and reflect........okay. Moving on.

Sorry for the snotfest....here's hoping it dries up in no time.


Yuengling...mmmm. Philly Pride! Or something to that effect.


Tire: *hiccup* *Sneeze* "Shite, snot".


I too have a spare tire in my garage. It used to reside in my Jeep. Said Jeep was totaled by an asshole drunk driver going 100 mph. The tire was so nice (a full-size instead of a little donut)that we took it out and kept it. Now my current Jeep only came with a donut, so I feel very secure knowing that I have that backup. Donut spares suck.
Of course I haven't had a flat tire in over 10 years...before either Jeeps even came into existence, but hey, the tire is necessary!! Luckily it now calls the garage home where it's kept company by all the broken electronics my husband can bear to part with.


That tire is a lager-faced McDrunky Pants and I don't care who knows it.


Snot has become a permanent residence at our home too, I'm afraid. I blame the community's germy swamp playground (YMCA).
Aren't colds supposed to disappear in warm weather? Sheesh.


Ok, all I ask is that if your child is snotface, and you choose to call him such, that you WIPE the snot OFF his face from time to time! Two weeks ago I went to coo over this adorable baby, only to notice this huge crusty snot all over her nose. You know - even for the cutest baby on the planet? The snot is not a good look. I would imagine even Shiloh Jolie-Pitt couldn't rock that look.


You're so good to your tire-- look at the assortment of refreshing beverages. If I had a tire, I fear I would only give it Bud Light. I'm evil.


Even the tire looks TIRED.


Hah! Pinchy McSquishButt! I love it! I may have to start making up my own Mc names for people other than the guy that I'm seeing. (He gets to be McHotness.)

Sorry to hear that you're full of snot ... I have been, too. Has the Zyrtec been helping you at least? I didn't start it soon enough so it only made my nose run more!


On the subject of topics, this is a serious one. I know you don't post very often about your family, but I think you should do a post about advice on how to handle a cancer diagnosis in a loved one. My mom was diagnosed recently with stage I breast cancer, and she is having her mastectomy tomorrow. I would love any advice about what I can do to support her. I live 1800 miles from my mom, and I want to be there for her, even though I cannot be there physically. I would especially love your advice about gifts that might lift her spirits, and advice about what to expect, and also about how your family's experience may have changed you or your outlook on life.

Thanks for your posts.


Yay! Tyre!!

I, too, have a spare tyre that lurks story. I was "spared" (lame pun totally intended) from having the thing inside my house. Unfortunately though, my lurkey-tyre is not just a tyre, but an en"tire" (ha! twice!) rim and tyre combo. Because a tyre was simply not sufficient. It's for my husband's "baby," that seriously never gets driven, EVER, but just in case it ever does get driven and pops a tyre, we have a spare! tyre! with rim! on top of our keg-r-ator in the garage. Our tires should get drunk together, haha.


Ella is also a giant ball of snot right now. But she had a classic phone moment last week when she got on the phone with my mom (Queen of Southern Propriety) and said, "Nanny, I got boogeres!" Ha! That's my girl! :-)


Yay! Tire!!

Boo! Snot!!

Y from the Internet

I think that we need to go on a World Tour with Tire.


velocitygrl: I wish I had great advice for you. Your comment really made me think. While I've never been in the same situation, I've dealt with illness from afar

Call her every day and tell her the stupid stuff that happens--the driver who turned left from four lanes over in the right turn lane, or the person behind you at the grocery store who bought four cans of spam and a cucumber. Just short little talks about normal things.

Send her real mail. Email is great, but there's nothing like getting actual mail. Not sappy sympathy cards but letters on stationary or cards with cute animals, beautiful flowers, or funny sayings. You can even clip comics out of the paper to send.

Carepackages: something small like a pretty color of nail polish or one of those soothing eyemasks. or something bigger like a lighthearted book or a pair of slippers. or something compeltely random that just makes you think of her. Maybe a tyre. I definitely find the tyre saga amusing. (or you know, not)

Food-wise eating can be a big deal. If you know family or friends in the area, getting them to do grocery shopping or bring over a meal would be great. Even if your mom doesn't feel like eating, she might be the person normally in charge of making meals and having something there for others will keep her from worrying.

Don't worry (too much) about not being able to be there physically. Your comment shows that you love and care for you mom.

sorry it's such a long post!


oh man, my comment was entirely too long! I didn't realize it was so huge. Sorry to co-opt the comments


The tire, it lives! And keeps watch over the drinks!

*makes mental note to buy similarly handy tire*


Seriously. You need to start dressing the tire up for holidays and special occassions.

May Day is right around the corner. I can totally picture pretty pastel ribbons and some wee flowers.

And the beer for the tire? It's totally not digging on the beer...it really wants a nice Pinot Noir.


Poor little snotface. Hope he's back to healthy, clear colored mucus in no time.


Brid- Thanks for the ideas and taking the time to post. I've been kind of alone with my feelings about my mom's breast cancer. I feel like I should limit sharing some of those worried feelings with my mom, because she has enough worries right now.

But, the internet is a great tool for telling random strangers about your life. And for checking on the drunk and deserted tyre trapped in its basement dungeon.

Here is a short public service announcement- 90-95% of the women who get breast cancer don't have any family history (like my mom!). And, the biggest risk factor is age- so check your boobs for lumps- preferably with a margarita in your free hand, and tell yo' mama to do the same!

Sorry for hijacking this entire comments section! Amy, I hope you can find some great blog ideas from the comments. I love the blog.


Yuengling! YAY!


I heart Coke zero.

And I think I found Tire's twin. Around my mid-section.


Again, I thank you for introducing me to the wonder geniuses at I Can Has Cheezburger. It works so well on the tire, and I think I like the tire saga even more than the lolrus. And I do love the lolrus.

heather b

that tire has excellent taste in beers.

heather b

that tire has excellent taste in beers.

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