Hostess Cupcake
Today's Agenda

It's like being in a cubicle all over again.

Today's post is guest-authored by my six-year-old neighbor, who composed it while standing on her recycle bin so she could talk to me over the fence, as she does every day, whenever possible. I think she has a strong and unique voice for the blogosphere and a innate sense of storytelling. Mostly I admire her knack for the run-on sentence.

Hi! I am tall, see how I can see you now? This is better for my toes than just the fence plus I am only a foot away from our trampoline did you know we had a trampoline? and so if I fall like whoa! I will fall on the trampoline but only if I don't fall less than a foot which would be bad my mom says we are having chicken for dinner.

We made up a game you wanna know how to play it? It's called cracking the egg because we go like this and then we go POW like this and stand up and we make it up all by ourselves my brothers and me and my brother said we should call it cracking the egg and that's what we call it your dog is taking a poo you gonna have to pick it up?

We watched our friend's dog for awhile but she was big and so were her poos and also stinky hey look I am standing on one leg can your baby stand one leg? does he say goo goo gah gah? I used to say goo goo gah gah but not anymore, maybe like six years ago maybe, okay probably five because I am only getting started with six but I was five for a long time my birthday was just a couple weeks ago and we got ice cream and you know what? Today is my dad's birthday and we're throwing him a party but it's a surprise so shh don't tell him, okay? Well, he knows we're throwing a party but he doesn't know who is coming to the party so that's the surprise part also I cleaned my room does your baby have a lot of toys in there?

My brother claps his hands like this and he is so loud do you ever hear him clap his hands? Like this? SO LOUD. I MEAN REALLY. Boys are like that. Loud. Your baby looks like a boy already I saw him in his baby pool the other day does he go in his baby pool everyday? How many days? Does he play with your hair ever? 

I've been in your house before. My friend used to live there and I remember what it looks like. I saw it empty too after she moved out and I was sad do you think I could see what your house looks like now sometime? I am good with babies maybe we could play sometime? And when your baby gets bigger he could come to play on the trampoline and I will make sure he doesn't fall in the foot of space here okay I have to go now bye!

Comments

Theresa

I think there is a law somewhere that requires each block to have its own overly-talkative-six year-old-girl-with-boundary-issues. There was one waiting for us when we moved here. She used to leave me stickers in the mailbox, which was cute, but then she started asking to come in all the time and yelling for me while standing outside on the sidewalk. I had to yell at her finally, which made me feel bad...for a second. then I just basked in the silence.

Caroline

She's certainly got a blogger's finely honed ability to find delight and mystery in the mundane. A new protege, perhaps? At the very least, I bet she'll provide countless hours of amusement for her little neighbor Noah.

sam

At least she went away. My almost 5 year old doesn't. Go Away, I mean. And he talks just like that. All. Day. Long. I drink a lot of wine at the end of the day to soothe my frazzled nerves and tired, tired ears.

Katie

Heck, I sound like that sometimes and I'm 25! :)

Cindy

Wow. She's better with people than I am. I'm 38 and I can't find that many things to talk about with strangers.

Tracy

Actually, that's pretty much what living with our #2 and #4 children is like. So, keep that in mind while having discussions about your own #2.

Wacky Mommy

"...your dog is taking a poo you gonna have to pick it up?"

Oh. My God. I love six year olds. Go away?? Are you mad, people? Future Babysitter. Future Dog Walker. And she'll probably pick up the mail for you and check on the cat when you go on vacation. Give her some candy and a popsicle and start training her now.

Wacky Mommy

"...your dog is taking a poo you gonna have to pick it up?"

Oh. My God. I love six year olds. Go away?? Are you mad, people? Future Babysitter. Future Dog Walker. And she'll probably pick up the mail for you and check on the cat when you go on vacation. Give her some candy and a popsicle and start training her now.

Elizabeth

I watched by almost 5-year-old nephew Saturday for a few hours. My ears are still tired.

After he left, I looked at my 8-month-old son and thought "what have I gotten myself into?"

Contrary

That kid right there is going to be your best friend in the world when she gets old enough to babysit.

Man, I wish I had a teenager living next door to me.

Wacky Mommy

Damn my work internet, trying to shut me out of blogs. Sorry for the triple post.

cursingmama

Dude - future babysitter!!! You know the ones - you hire them when they're like 10 and they come over and play with your kids so you can just get some crap done like laundry and cleaning the bathroom toilet - or surfing the internet in peace.

Elizabeth

While reading that conversation I kept thinking of that Mad TV skit with Stuart-"look what I can do!" Your neighbor isn't Stuart, right?

And I missed being able to comment on Hostess Cupcake, but dude-deep fried risotto balls? I don't know what it is, but it sounds REALLY GOOD.

earlyduckie

I am a teacher and I have a student doing the exact same thing this very minute!!! It is high school and exam days and he has a free period. He is talking about video game characters and the moron patrol and who knows what else!!! HE WON'T STOP!!! (BTW I teach special ed, but most high school kids are like this too...)

wickedstepmama

Oh my lord, due to scheduling insanity I ended up driving my son's best friend (a 9 year old girl) 2 hours up to my in-law's this past holiday season. All. By. My. Self. I mistakenly thought that we would sing along to some music and chat, the way my son and I do. I was very, very wrong.

And then we all had--this is really disgusting. Ok so my teacher? Is a MAN. And he brought us all into the classroom--this is really gross--all girls of course, because that would just be too gross! And he had found--gigglewhisper--SOMEONE'S BRA up on the lockers! And he was a guy! And it was really embarrassing! And he had to take all of the girls and ask whose it was! And of course no one would claim it. Because it was so embarrassing! And....

Starbuck

That was a really cute conversation -- I guess I should say dialogue, instead.

We have a neighbor who used to wait for us to come home and would be on our deck before we even got out of the car. That drove me absolutely nuts.

Also, if she is nice it might be a nice change to have her come over to play with Noah sometime. My son (10 yrs old)really likes to play with small children that I did not give birth to. And kids love him.

Zoot

DUDE. Tell her my son and husband play crack-the-egg on the trampoline all the time! I totally know what she's talking about!

mk

wow! is your head still spinning?

lolismum

I think she is adorable. I am sure she gets on your nerves every once in a while, but as others have said: future cat feeder/ dog walker/ babysitter, so you better gear yourself up for a few run-on-monologues.

cce

I had my own enlightening conversation with a little girl, not my own, yesterday. Come see what she taught me...

Kyla

I live with a 5 year old...welcome to every day. Especially in the car. Oh my. And you can't escape from the car. I say, "Let's just listen to this song!" a lot in the car.

Sonja

Hahahaha. My nephew was just like that when he was that age. I seriously wanted to bang my head against the wall to just make. it. stop. please.
He outgrew it. Thank God.

Nancy

I've got a six-year old like that too. I secretly delight when she gets a cold that makes her voice sound scratchy because then I can tell her she needs to rest her voice. Evil, I know.

Jamie

You should let her play with your Tire.

Ross

If you didn't transcribe that from a tape recording, you are so incredibly awesome for capturing not only the dialogue but the raw spirit of a 6 year old. I both eagerly await and cringe at the thought of my daughter getting to the age where she talks like that.

problem girl

Awww, she sounds adorable! "And when your baby gets bigger he could come to play on the trampoline and I will make sure he doesn't fall in the foot of space here"

That's so cute. Although I guess it's cuter when you're just reading about it because now that I think about it we used to have a neighbor like that too and she drove me crazy.

Bunny

Welcome to the suburbs!

iheartnewyork

Oh my god. I have one of those at home. Exhausting.

zendra

Dude! I had no idea you lived next door to us! I swear you must be talking to my six year old daughter.

Kim

I have five children and I used to think the talks-a-lot stage was a stage, but guess what? It is not. My eleven year old still talks like this...although no longer to strangers because, like, it's just not kewl.

Papa Bradstein

WTF was she doing standing there talking to you? Didn't she know that she was late for work?

At least now I know where my cube neighbor was . . . and why I got so much work done.

Thanks for taking one for the team.

sarcastic journalist

Those types of children find me every day when I go out with my kid. There's something about a stressed-out mom wading through the world's deepest baby pool with a 1 and a 2-year-old that makes every child come over to tell her life story.

Except, in my land, I get to explain to these four year olds that yes, my 2-year-old is the exact same size as her but no, she doesn't understand what you're saying.

Maria

I think you should keep her around. She will sound the alarm if someone tries to get into your house while you are at Target.

smb

I feel like I am one of the only ones cringing for you. Maybe its because I have my own neighborhood 3rd grader that invites herself over via my dog... for example,'ok, radio.. yes I will come inside your house and play with you, yes I will!' My husband and I are mean though, and don't let her.

julie, again

Wow, I didn't know you lived next door to us. ;) I have two of them that assault my ears and sanity all day long. Well, not all day. Thank the public education system for grade school.

Mrs. Davis

My 7-year-old son does that to our neighbors all the time. And as some sort of karmic retribution, another neighbor girl does the same thing to me.

Aimee

I have a neighbor like that. Only they are trashy and they borrowed an air mattress from my roommate who told them to keep it. ::shudder::
He stole an ipod once and asked me if I had a charger he could borrow.

I used to work with a guy who was chatty like your neighbor. It's not as endearing at that age.

I think training her early is a good idea though. You have smart readers. hehe.

nonsoccermom

Oh my god. That's how my son was yesterday.

Talk talk blah blah I'm hungry hey look the dog is sleeping why is the cat meowing she needs food I want some ice cream Jayden hit me at school today did you know Mrs. Rita wasn't there she went to India and also we played on the playground can I have some Capri Sun?

I was SO GLAD when bedtime rolled around. GAH.

teachbroeck

Ha I love random, endless, child soliloquies.

teachbroeck

Ha I love random, endless, child soliloquies.

Izzy

Ahhh, yes...the natural ADD-ness of being six. I get that here a lot. Actually, on the weekends, I'm pretty sure my six year old never stops talking — except when she's eating. As you may have guessed, we eat about ten meals on Saturday alone.

AmyM

My 28 year old best friend is like that. So is my 7 year old and my (almost) 4 year old. But for some reason, the 28 year old's incessant chatter makes my ears hurt less. Go figure.

Occidental Girl

She sounds exactly like my six year old daughter! Except, my daughter can talk for a lot longer than that...

Dawn

LMAO!!!!!!! At least she's 6. I know adults that talk like her.

*emily*

Oy! The only thing worse than incessant chatter is the Why? game. Why? blah blah blah, but why? blah blah, yeah, but why? blah blah blah...

tamisita

OMG you were talking to my kid!!!!!

Sarah

Give her dad The Tire for his birthday. Then she'll have stories to tell you about The Tire's adventures.

Theresa

GAH, how cute!

dana

Awww. She's a funny little kid! Lots to say it seems!

statia

This entry totally reminded me of:

RICK RICK RICK RICK RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK. Can I get a lizard rick? Can I get my ears pierced Rick? RIIIIIIIIICK.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/article/2681/

mswas

This weekend, my 7 year old and I agreed on a hand signal (and no it is not the signal you are thinking) that means she has to immediately be quiet. In my head it's the SHUT THE F UP signal. It lets me then get a word in edgewise without having to shout over the "But MOM, she did xyz, and I was sitting there first, but it's MY turn, and I'm really mad, and she's TOUCHING ME!"

Skyzi

I think the old difference between her and I is that I don't let all my different trains of thought escape my mouth. Sometimes I find my thought process exhausting....is it just me?

sam

OMG. LMFAO!

I am dreading the day Carter talks a lot. A least that kid went back home... imagine that everywhere you turn!?

Heather

Heh she sounds like quite the little character!

Auburn Gal Always

I didn't know you were coming to visit me and my Stinkerbell. Next time, just tell her to shut up. But say it nicely, cause that's the only way you are allowed to say shut up.

Aren't you glad you have a boy now?

Brenda

My husband keeps reminding me that I couldn't wait until my daughter could talk. Now I can't find the freaking shut off button. Yes, she's 6.

liz

time to back off the ritalin...the girl, not you.

ashley

imagine that little girl times 23, and that's my day. everyday. all day long. being a kindergarten teacher is great, but i'm excited about a long, QUIET summer!!

Kari

"I saw him in his baby pool the other day does he go in his baby pool everyday? How many days?"

Ack! A pool-stalker! How many days? So I can watch his naked torso and swim diaper?

ali

OH GAWD. I was that kid. Seriously. I was that kid. It's bringing back horrible memories.

Ginny

Yep, that's my girl. She's 6 too. "Mommy, why did they plant trees by the road? We don't like trees, do we, Mommy? They're yucky. They should've planted flowers. Who planted them? Why do you want me to be quiet now Mommy? I don't need to be quiet. Ok, I'll talk to myself. La lalalala...."

She makes my ears bleed.

Marey ALL-KIDS

OMG! I have 21 of those in my class :) After a while you just learn to tune them out....until you hear, "He just showed us his underwear!!"

Amber

oh. my. goodness. i must live 2 houses down from you, on the other side of this child. good grief.

i actually made a rule for mine, she can only ask me 2 questions per day. thats it.

now all the neighbors on our court have adapted the same rule.

I thought she was going to get better when she turns 6 in july. you are telling me she isnt???

Suzy Q

Guest blogger! Ha! She's a natural.

Tirzah

That's pretty much what I sound like when my husband gets home and he doesn't talk back. I just ramble on and on. Nice huh! haha

Tj

I have a 6 yr old neighbor girl JUST like that. We have gone in our back yard before and tried to be vewy vewy quiet so she wouldn't notice us. Doesn't work. I sometimes barely acknowledge her, especially if it is a really nosy question. And then...she got a hold of our phone number (from my 10 yr old daughter). Nightmare! Avoid this! Oh & like Zoot said.."crack the egg" is a known trampoline game. My kids play it all the time.

cate

eventually annoying, but pretty cute in small doses!

shy me

awesome!!!!!!

kellie

Welcome to my day =) (although at least I don't send mine over to the neighbors).

But yeah - keep her in mind for a Mother's Helper. 7-8yo's are great for that. It's a good way to get some work done (or not) without paying for a full-blown babysitter, Noah gets some big-kid time, and the neighbor girl get a couple of bucks - and you're still right there if they need something.

Black Belt Mama

My over-bearing used to be 6 year old (now more like 8) neighbor stares at us throught the side privacy boards on the deck and asks if she can come over and play while I am eating/soaking my feet/trying to talk on the phone. She also tells my daughter to smear sidewalk chalk all over her face because that would be "so fun" and wouldn't it also be cool to throw rocks in everyone's yard.

My 6-year old is so NOT like that and I THANK GOD every day.

Jem

Heh. My boyfriend has a teenage customer that always comes in (he manages a drum shop) and does that every lunch time. Just be glad the 6 year old doesn't start drumming for an hour when she's finished questioning.

Helen

My daughter is 18...she STILL talks like this, only it's not about cute things anymore, its all about she said and she said and at the end of the day I said and totally the most exciting thing is soon she is moving out and she will just visit and my ears can stop bleeding.

Jen

You had me at "We watched our friend's dog for awhile but she was big and so were her poos and also stinky hey look I am standing on one leg can your baby stand one leg?" It is so true. I love kids that age. Also? You had my husband rolling on the floor laughing too. Thanks for a good laugh in a time of need.

Fraulein N

"I am only getting started with six but I was five for a long time..." Hee! How can you not love that? I mean, unless you didn't have your own house to escape to. I agree with the others; cultivating a friendship with this little girl could really come in handy. Okay, that sounds really creepy, but you know what I mean.

Leigh

This easily could have been my oldest daughter at that age. Actually, it could be her now, pretty much. She's fifteen. Didn't someone say that at some point teenagers stop talking? I love her with all my heart and soul, but my ears...they are tired.

Katie Kat

Okay, THAT was precious! Sounds like the conversations I have with my neighbors' 4 year old every day. But his favorite line is "Hey, ummmmm, ya know what? Guess what my ______" and then he fills in the blank with some news of the day like, "...my jeep is getting new tires" "...my shoes are green because I mowed the lawn with a real lawn mower, but my dad's is just pretend." "...my Mom says your house is ugly..." whatever seems important to him!

You should include her insights every once in awhile to keep us all young and giggling!

BOSSY

Snort, guffaw.

Colleen

wow...Maybe you could get some good earplugs and have her over as your mommy's helper. We used to have a neighbor like that when I was in high school. My mom worked midnights and nearly every day during the summer the girl would come over, ring the bell and ask to speak to my mom (my brother and I refused to speak to her). If we sent her away, she'd just come back every 30 minutes or so. I finally woke up my mom one day and told her to hollar at the poor girl so that my mom could get some sleep!
But now my 3 1/2 year-old nephew talks like that non-stop. My SIL and nephew stayed with us a few days and each morning as I was waking up for work I could already hear him chattering away. Even as I walked out the door, he would still be talking away...not sure how he ever gets food in his body since the only time he stops is while he's sleeping. It's funny, but exhausting...

Amy

Oh my God! This is who my currently almost-two, completely verbal daughter will be in just a few short years. Better start stockpiling the Xanax and wine now.

Jenn

Posting here in regards to your #2 post asking about an area acupuncturist. Go see Dr. Lee (http://www.yourdrlee.com/about) He specializes in infertility and women's health and he's in the Tyson's Corner area. Maybe he can help!

lisslo

Wow.

That's like...birth control.

Except it's really cute.

Dammit.

Y from the Internet

Give the kid a BEEFLOG.

Kathy/ Lessons from the Laundry

Well, I think you know why she is outside. Good thing about talkers is that they continue to talk. Her mom won't ever have to worry about what she's doing at school. Oversharing starts at a young age...Funny.

Velma

Oh, yes. Welcome to MY world. Are your ears bleeding yet?

emmy

Oh no. I was not a talker, but loved to hang out with neighbors' young children. Apparently, this was ideal ...I had no idea I was such a perfect package ;). I'm very concerned I will have share-y talkative children now. I don't like sharing. (as you can see, I have no blog url of my very own!) At work I get to listen to my ipod and the only talking I do is to assign people new work!

emmy

Oh no. I was not a talker, but loved to hang out with neighbors' young children. Apparently, this was ideal ...I had no idea I was such a perfect package ;). I'm very concerned I will have share-y talkative children now. I don't like sharing. (as you can see, I have no blog url of my very own!) At work I get to listen to my ipod and the only talking I do is to assign people new work!

Heather B.

I think the "...your baby looks like a boy..." was my favorite part of this conversation.

And what exactly is protocal during conversations like that? Do you just stand and nod and smile?

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