What I Did On My Bloggy Vacation
May 15, 2007
Not so much of a vacation as technical difficulties, as we've gone from a busted keyboard to a busted power cord and I was completely laptopless for most of the weekend and yesterday:
Luckily, I managed to keep myself occupied. SOMEHOW:
Happy Mother's Day! Now everybody get the hell away from me so I can concentrate on mah show. Oh, but bring me another mimosa first.
I mowed a lawn for the first time in my entire life on Saturday. I nearly took a chunk out of my flip-flop with the weed whacker, but otherwise the entire operation took place without incident. I just feel the need to document this important event in the Suburbification of Amalah.
We also said goodbye to Heather this weekend. I have nothing to say about this except that she is a whore and I hate her. Also that I cried and hugged her a lot.
You will never guess what her goodbye present to Noah was.
I am posting this one because I know it will break her heart, and I am vindictive.
In other news, I went to the dentist this morning, which is always fine holiday fun, especially when it's been about two years since your last appointment.
"So why haven't you seen a dentist since early 2005?"
"I had a baby. I got distracted."
Obviously, my mouth is a big hot mess at this point, as I have apparently clenched and grinded all the enamel off of several teeth, and pushed other teeth into my jaw, where they are currently bumping and grinding against my jaw bone. Apparently when tooth vs. bone (the ultimate oral grudge match!), the tooth wins.
(Also, apparently when your dentist says stuff like "your teeth are bumping and grinding against your jaw bone," the appropriate response is not, "a-boom-chicka-bow!")
I'll spare you the rest of the gory tooth details, but suffice to say: it's gonna take a little more than some Thomas the Tank Engine Training Toothpaste to fix things in there.
And this one is just for the sheer, blissful hell of it.