oh hai

We're back.

So it turns out that a complete and total vacation from the Internet was exactly what I needed, and I am pleased to report that I didn't even check my email twice. I checked it once, deleted four hundred million marketing/PR solicitations, scanned the rest of the subject lines for anything regarding anybody's hair being on fire, and then closed the laptop for the remainder of our trip.

It was glorious. I possibly saw Blue.

I have tons of stories and no photos. Unless you count photos of pizza. We ate a lot of pizza, and if you've ever wondered just how many hours of nonstop pizza-eating you can endure before your digestive system completely shuts down with a painful rattling thud, I have the answer. It's 42.

But! First I need to complete some professional-type writing obligations and also get my household back above the squalor level. This morning I justified serving my child expired milk because I was mixing it with yogurt, and you know, it's all basically bacteria anyway.

I later put the same milk in my coffee, and. Well. That probably served me right.

So I will talk to you some more later. Consider this post your placeholder for now, written only so all the potential robbers out there know that my house is once again occupied by a crazy constipated girl with a broom, so The End. Get the fuck off my lawn!