You wanna know what we saw with the blacklight?
Aw. Come on.
What if I show you what we saw on a random, fairly unstained and decent-looking section of carpet? That wouldn't be so bad, right?
Apologies to anyone who was eating, and to anyone who still believes that their dog has probably only had "a couple of accidents, and we cleaned them up right away, so I'm sure it's totally fine."
Personally, I'm turning my dog into a wee area rug this weekend. I just need to find some decorative fringe.