Oversharing, Even More So Than Usual
June 29, 2007
You wanna know what we saw with the blacklight?
No?
Aw. Come on.
What if I show you what we saw on a random, fairly unstained and decent-looking section of carpet? That wouldn't be so bad, right?
LIGHTS ON...
AND...
LIGHTS OFF.
Apologies to anyone who was eating, and to anyone who still believes that their dog has probably only had "a couple of accidents, and we cleaned them up right away, so I'm sure it's totally fine."
Personally, I'm turning my dog into a wee area rug this weekend. I just need to find some decorative fringe.
Ack! Mother of Pearl! I just wanted to thank you Amalah. Thank you for making me want to wear shoes with five pairs of socks when walking around in my own apartment.
De-lurking for my second time to say: I showed this to my husband, and he just kinda stared at it speechless for a couple seconds. I think that pretty much sums it up!
Fuuuuhnky.
Oh YUCK. Our brand-new house has brand-new carpets, so I'm happy to know that each and every stain is there from my own cats and kids. But now? If I ever move into a house with old carpets? We're getting hardwoods installed.
Blech.
Is this going to be on the next episode of Dateline?
Ewww.
Though I thought club soda showed up positive under blacklight as well as er um, well, maybe they liked getting it on on the rug?
Double ewwww. Thanking my lucky stars that yet again, this is brand new carpet in a brand new house.
Yeah, EW and all that. More importantly, how the fuck do I get the autoflash to NOT go off on my digital camera> It's a Canon. Yes, I've read the manual. Am stupid old person.
I'm trying to think of all the times I've walked barefoot on that carpet...
YARGH! Gee-ross. (And I totally thought of the Valerie Bertinelli movie too!)
I want to laugh, but I am sure my carpet would hold up no better under the glaring interrogation of a black light. I have to go soak my bare feet in bleach now...
I just showed my DH those pics and he FREAKED - I don't think he knew you could do the "home version" of CSI. Thank GOD we ripped up the TWO, yes, TWO layers of old, peed up carpet when we bought our house 6 years ago. The owner had the oldest living (or not) golden retriever and apparently never let it outside, because our neighbors were like, "She had a DOG?" Gaaaaa. It was so bad we were gloves and masks when we tore it out.
uh, that would be "wore" gloves and masks..duh...
I live in a college apartment in near a big city campus..with carpet everywhere. I can only IMAGINE what it looks like.
That's just gross.
But this saga is just one of the reasons I gave you an award, stop by and find out why.
So apparently you people watch as many bad lifetime movies as I do...because my first thought was of poor Valerie Bertenelli and her bloody remains under the blacklight...am wondering if you checked the walls for any glowing handprints on the walls, trailing down the stairs...god that movie will haunt me forever...
So after reading this entry, I immediately phoned Darren to ask if his work had a blacklight I could borrow.
He asked why, if I was going to do some CSI thing on the house that we moved into last October.
I said yes.
He said he wasn't going to feed my paranoia.
I have to go to Home Depot today.
I can NEVER do that at our house. We will be permanently blinded by the glow. The Pee Glow.
I am now even more resolute in my belief that unless you are actually a member of some sort of crime-fighting teams or living in the seventies with mass quantities of hallucinogenic chemicals coursing through your veins, blacklights have NO PLACE in everyday life.
I'm think you need a to have the dog whisper visit your house, or you need some SERIOUS obedience training. I have a dog and a cat and NEITHER of them have peep or pooped on the carpet. The cat did through up once..and I've had muddy paws but that's it.
Do you think you have enough fur for a pair of slippers?
Don't ever do this in a hotel room, by the way.
Trust me on this one.
You know, I've always wondered if that worked.
Unfortunately, you've confirmed my fears.
Since I know for a fact that my dogs are no angels, I shant be trying out the ole black light on our carpets.
http://TastesLikeCrazy.blogspot.com
Ew....
Also, lolz to the fact that the brand name of the blacklight is "Stink Finder".
I was appalled by the pictures, and very happy that I only have two rooms left before my house is carpet free. Here's a site that may make you feel better. It lists household items that react under blacklight.
http://chemistry.about.com/cs/howthingswork/f/blblacklight.htm
Love your writing!
Ok...so I know that this has probably already been said...but...that was totally NOT what I was expecting to see...I think that my head was in the gutter or something..hee
Forget clowns, spiders and Freddy Kruger. That's the most frightening thing I have ever seen in my life. Now how the hell are you going to walk around without touching the ground? Eck. Time to Lysol the baby.
I thought of you... one of the funniest lines on TV.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2boczY_myc
"What are all those stains?"
"Blood, urine or semen."
"God, I hope it's urine."
Can I borrow that thing for my van?
That dog has some real artistic talent. You should be proud and show off his masterpieces to all your visitors.
ewwwwwwwwwww! OUTSIDE DOGS rule for a reason!
No fair making Bossy laugh that hard and that continuously when long ago her stomach muscles petrified.
are you seriously telling me you couldn't see that from the first picture??
Girl.....buy a Dyson
You are a braver woman than I. Our results would be far scarier, I assure you.
Yuck! The people who lived in this house before us were druggies who never let their pets outside. The tile was stained from pee. The carpets had been steam cleaned multiple times, but still felt grossly greasy and nasty. We immediately ripped them all up to find it was so bad that the cement below the padding was pee stained. Yeah, everything got cleaned like you wouldn't believe and new carpets. *shudder* I can't even imagine if we'd taken the black light to it!
OMG...how could that be?
However, the first picture seemed to tell something about it, too, I guess.
I really hope *thats* just wee.