"Noah, today we're going to teach you the meaning of America."
"Let's go eat some wings and ogle some waitresses."
Noah was unimpressed and possibly a little embarrassed for bringing Dora to such a tacky place, although our waitress scored some points for knowing all about Swiper the Fox (I'll BET she does, heh heh) (I have no idea what I even mean by that).
Frankly, we were a little disappointed to learn how very un-subversive it is these days to take a toddler to Hooters.
The wings were awesome though. So there is that.
I did end up taking him to the playground, by the way. We do occasionally participate in enriching and age-appropriate activities.
Oh, who am I kidding. I only took him so I could show off my new iPhone to all the hot SAHDs.
It's a total man magnet, ladies. And I highly recommend it.
It also takes pretty good pictures.
Just remember that in the 30 seconds it takes you to think, "Hey, I wonder if I got any new blog comments or email or I wonder what the weather in Paris is right now," your child will have run clear out to the parking lot and you'll suddenly be the asshole with the iPhone who can't find her kid but hey, have you ever seen that sneezing panda video? It's hilarious. Let me show it to you.