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A Belated Non-Update

Sorry, sorry. Sorry!

I mentioned that Friday's evaluation wasn't the important one, that it was probably just formalities and paperwork and that sort of thing, so after it turned out to be JUST EXACTLY THAT I couldn't think of anything to say about it. Formalities and paperwork. The Nonevent of the Century.

A very nice woman came to our house. We all marched downstairs to Noah's basement playroom, which I'd frantically cleaned that morning, and I even stacked the Play-Dough neatly and in rainbow order, like I don't know WHERE Noah gets this crazy need to arrange his toys in tidy little lines; the kid is such a freak sometimes.

She asked a million questions about Noah and pulled out some toys. Noah obliged her requests to put some blocks in a bucket so long as everybody would applaud for him, then called a reflection of himself "ababee" and stared blankly when asked to name some Teletubby dolls. I told her we were more of a Dora and Blue's Clues household, and she wrote that down.

(MOTHER ADMITS CHILD WATCHES CARTOONS. FAIL!)

We signed some forms. We received more helpful worksheets and checklists and a freaking awesome booklet called DREAMS & CHALLENGES that contains the greatest photos of Mall Hair Mom Mullets I have seen in years. The Big Evaluation is still set to August 9th at 9 am. For Noah to qualify for our state's free services, he needs to demonstrate a 25% delay or more during that assessment, independent of his doctor's opinion and all that.

Needless to say, we want us some free shit, so we fully plan to mess with his schedule that day and wake him up early. They're clearly trying to catch him at the top of his game with that morning appointment, so I am going to play that game RIGHT BACK AT THEM. (I'd prefer something later, like in the middle of nap time, after a roundly-rejected lunch of steamed broccoli, and to possibly hold the entire evaluation on the center of the sensory-overloading Gymboree parachute.)

Photo2

We also need the speech therapy so Noah can get down to the serious business of picking up the ladies.

Comments

angie

Oh jeez, could little man be any cuter? He's killing me!

Chris

I love that you're f'ing with the man to gets you some free therapy. This feels exactly right.

BTW, I'm not sure Noah needs words to pick up the ladies. He's gonna do just fine with out saying anything.

Crossing my fingers that he's at a 26% delay . . .

Amy

What a handsome fella! (I just had my 19 m.o. boy's hair cut for the first time - he looked like Noah until last weekend)

Molly

He will have NO problem with the ladies. So handsome!

Sarah Marie

I look at that photo and suddenly I have the Top Gun theme song in my head...

Woman with Kids

Oh, come on! No mullet pictures?

And? Aball!

Linda

I imagine the ladies look like stuffed animals at this age.

"Hey there, abear. What's a toy like you doin' at a place like this?"

Virginia Gal

I recently talked to an adult in his mid-20's who didn't know who Barney was (and I was truly envious). So, no worries on Noah not knowing who the Teletubbies are. He probably does, and is too cool to admit it.

Sarah

Amy,

Well, with that look Noah is about 35% ahead in the picking up of the Ladies department. I mean, who could resist?!

FYI We had to fight and kick and scream for our EI services. What's crazy is that Jack was born 13 weeks early and was/is clearly, quite delayed. Originally we were told he didn't qualify for ANY service, that was before I had a stern conversation with a city representative... We discovered (much later) that with the funding being cut to services such as the one you're entering, you kind of have to make it sound like THE WORLD IS ENDING before you get the services that your child deserves, and is qualified to receive. I didn't know that and would say things like "oh he's doing greeeaaat for being so early." Major mistake.

What I am saying is that now is not the time to say "oh he just learned how to do this last week." OR "he's doing so much better than he was when we first saw the doc." Even if it's true.

Noooooo. In this particular case it's better to be negative, and grumbly, and perhaps a little teary.

Save the positivity for Noah :)

Good luck!

Sarah

Kiraa

Good luck, little adorable heartbreaking Noah!

qwyneth

Oh my gosh, ADORABLE. :)

Good luck!

cursingmama

Somehow I think that he doesn't really need the power of speech to pick up the ladies......

All he has to do is lift those shades and speak to them with his eyes.

Marlo

I agree with everyone: that boy will have no problem pickin' up the ladies.
Love the play-dough arranged in rainbow colors.
I do that with Madeline's My Little Ponies. :)

Ashley

He looks like such a big boy!

I will admit, I have been updating your page all day to hear about any update...

(in between all the super important work i have to do over here.)

ali

okay, I still find myself mind-boggled by how many teeth this kid has. I know he's, like, 22 or 23 months, but come ON with all the teeth.

Oh, and nice side-swept bangs look. Very now.

Maria

The ladies will take one look at him and fall at his feet.

Wishing you lots of free shit ;-)

Marianne

Dude ... That pictures cracks me up. All he needs is a wink and a good finger point... "Yeah..."

Marianne

Dude ... That pictures cracks me up. All he needs is a wink and a good finger point... "Yeah..."

Helen

oh come on now....we ALL know the strong silent types get all the girls! I remember Isaac's 2 year check up, I was SO impressed with how he ran circles around that lady. Can you build a tower with the blocks? No but he can fill every puzzle space with them, can you do that puzzle? No but I can build a tower with the pieces. He held the pencil like some kind of ham fisted brick layer, stabbed at the paper with it ( and then, when we got home, coloured in every eyeball, without going out of the lines, holding the pen like a pro, in daddy's newspaper.) I swear they are so smart they just get a kick out of making us sweat. Hope you get the free shit, that boy is so cool it's not decent!

hello insomnia

I would make up some flash cards so he can learn the most important line of all: "How you doin'?"

Jonathon Morgan

how freakin' rad are those glasses?

Karla

Oh, looking cute like that, I think he would only need a furtive wink cast in their direction to get their attention.

HeatherK

The way it worked here is that if he qualifies for one service w/ a 25% delay he could qualify for another based on "clinical opinion." So if he qualified for ST, but not OT then he *could* still get OT. But I dare say, the boy needs no words with a face like that!

Christianna

Delurking to say that I love Noah's shirt!! My 13-month-old son has the same one! Gotta love a stylin' toddler (thanks Old Navy). I really admire you as a mom and a writer.

Susan

Clearly, he's on top of the getting-the-ladies game, already. I mean, I'm sold.

Alissa

no way... he's already a lady-killah!

good luck with your evaluation. I cried several times at ours.

mk

such a little man! I can;t believe the ladies aren't throwing their diapers at him already!

I would do the same thing with the messing of the schedule!

shy me

aladeesman

Starbuck

The cuteness, 'tis blinding me!

Mall Hair Mom Mullets? Would love to see that!

Big Mama

Forget the speech therapy, what that boy needs is a gold medallion to go with the sweet shades.

JAB

He is adorable! Just wanted to throw in some personal experience (like you don't get a million people doing this everyday, right?). My 2 year old was told that he didn't qualify for services from the state after our first evaluation...although he did have a speech delay it wasn't to the point they would qualify him. His speech therapist re-did his initial evaluation (because his original one was about 6 months old) and we re-submitted that to the SD Regional Center and they pushed it through. It's great because now the speech therapy that has done wonders for my little boy, but was costing me $400 a month out of pocket, is being completely covered!

In a nutshell...if Noah's denied services but you think he could use them, try to appeal! Good luck!

Mouse

Speech delays do not hinder the picking up of the ladies. It seems that everywhere we go, Scooter instantly attracts girlfriends, usually some curly-headed, older blonde. He doesn't have to go looking for them, they always gravitate to wherever he is. Noah looks like he should have a similar effect.

Tirzah

Aww, I love his little shirt! HAHA! So adorable!

Wacky Mommy

You're cute, honey. And so is that little guy of yours.

sweet as cherry pie

Your strategy to make sure they see him at his worst is very smart!

If they claim, he is not behind enough and does not qualify for state funded help; you will still need to take him for speech therapy, occupational therapy and for a hearing test with your own money.

I know that sometimes states criteria are unacceptable to many parents when your child has mild delays. Your health insurance might cover the costs of this therapy if the state will not cover it.

heidi

did he borrow those from his super hip mom or his super cool dad? i have no sense of style so i can't tell. do glasses even have gender connotations anymore? all i can say for sure is...that boy is gonna get all the ladies he wants (or all that his mom will let him have).

Emily

Are you getting him to work on his finger guns and his winking? Cause you really don't need words if you look like he does and have those skills. Everything else will just fall into place.

MMM

Oh, I LOVE that picture!

sarah

Please, Noah is just going to have to shoot 'em a smile & the ladies will be putty in his hands! :-)

Christina

Somehow I think he could get all the ladies he wants just by flashing that smile.

Our first big evaluation is this Thursday at our house. Like you, I'm now frantically cleaning like a mad woman. I can't let them think Cordy has no social skills because mommy can't keep a house cleaned. Although the eval is at 2:30pm, so they'll have no problem seeing her in her normal state. A few hours later and they could see her at her worst.

Good luck with the next eval. Do what you have to in order to get the free assistance!

aimee greeblemonkey

ahhhh yes, speech therapy for chicks. Always useful.

And that photo looks similar to my son when he is surrounded by all his little girlfriends who fight over him every day ... We've taught him to say "Ladies! Ladies! There is enough of the Declan to go around!"

erin

Our son was evaluated for EI at three months. I thought it would just be about his neck range (he was evaluated for torticollis), but they asked about other things too, such as other developmental areas. Questions that I had to say, "Um, I don't know" to about a million times. Which basically made everything seem worse than it was. I don't know what a speech delay evaluation is like, but don't get freaked out if they ask you other stuff as well. Good luck!

Britt

Ummm, he's still single, right?

Moogie

Heh...are you sure you didn't live in our house? All that I can say is answeer..from YOUR experience. What do you see with Noah? Be completely honest. Don't worry about what THEY will think. Show them Noah. Who he is. What he does How he reacts to whatever. They aren't out to judge you..just evaluate Noah..the more honest you are..the more help you get. You can do it!

Speaking from the bumpy road? It sucks. It's hard. But there is alot of hope. My youngest is a great example of that.

Rhonda

I went through everything you are going through right now. My son was diagnosed at 3 with autism. Music therapy (on the states dime!) was a Godsend! Don't worry about the not talking it will come trust me, my son is now nine and won't shut up! Fav. thing to say to me is..."whatever"! Typical 9 year old! Don't worry what anyone else says, you know Noah better than anyone! One time at the store a lady was talking to my son and I said he didn't talk much and she said "Do you talk to him?"(uh, der?) I hope you never come across anyone that stupid!!!

cate

Noah is so money and he doesn't even know it.

Robin

Hi! My friend Jennifer told me to start reading your blog a few weeks ago when she felt that reading it was like deja vu -- that is, your experience reminding her exactly of what I went through few years ago. When my son was initially evaluated in CT (almost exactly 4 years ago, just as he was turning 2), he didn't qualify for Speech Therapy through EI (there they call it "Birth to Three") because he had "too much language." Really. I think at the time he had about 25 words (all nouns, a red flag but what did I know back then, and many he pronounced weirdly) but for CT that was too much language. He did qualify for an OT once a week to work on the sensory integration stuff and fine motor skills, and a special educator to work on basic preacademic skills. Independently, we hired a speech therapist to work with him 3 hours a week, plus a private OT and private PT once a week. Expensive, even with some health insurance coverage. SOOOOO glad we did it -- I have no doubt that it completely changed his life -- but expensive. So, my nutshell comment is to do whatever you have to do to get as many state funded services as you can -- I like your plan to get him cranky before the eval. Smart woman, you are. I look forward to reading what happens with this. I know you are getting all sorts of unsolicited advice and commentary (like mine, right now), but if I ever think of something that I think will be useful for you, I will let you know. Also, regardless of the labels that might be thrown at Noah in the next few years (we've gone through a few ourselves -- but we're pretty much stuck with the PDD-Nos one, which is pretty much a garbage label that is thrown at lots of quirky kids but that is fine, because in my state that label guarantees my son some pretty kick ass services), remember that you know him better than anyone, and you'll be able to make the best decisions for him by just listening to your mother's instinct. It's always right.

chantelle

Maybe he's a lover not a talker?
The photo is hilarious.

Mo

You sooo funny. Noah sooo cute. Ack.

Katie Kat

JUST STOP IT! I cannot resist the need to go "AWWWWWWW!" and "OH MY GOD HE'S SO DAMN CUTE" at my desk when you post pictures...

Okay... I give... POST MORE POST MORE POST MORE!

In a weird way I hope Noah is like 23% delayed so you don't have to worry, but 26% would insure free shit, so I'm torn. Maybe right ON the 25% mark would be best. Not an overachieving delayer, but not a slacker either!

I personally think all of this will turn out to be a sign of future brilliance. I'm so srsly! I think a lot of this "delayed" talk is really like when doctors say your kid has colic. They just don't know what the hell is going on, but they have to label it. Who knows, being delayed may be the new "gifted"! That's my take, anywho...!

BOSSY

The more Bossy talks with other moms about this, the more she's convinced that Noah is just exercising his right to be a little late with teh talking.

Someday this will all be in your Past Tense.

Gwendolyn

That child is so adorable that it is insane. How do you keep from squishing those cheeks all day long? :o)

Laura

He's Magnum P.I.!

Seriously. Cool. Shades.

Megan

Remember that thing you did with the cookbook, like before Noah was born? You have to do that again, but with the mall-hair moms. Full-circle and all that (and the cookbook was probably THE FUNNIEST THING I'd read in a long time).

Sherry

And, as we know, picking up the ladies qualifies as a FIIIIINE motor skill!

(Get it? Fine?)

DebbieS

Don't worry, chicks dig the strong, silent type, too! I have to say, when I saw his shirt I thought of the Far Side strip with "Hey bay-bee! Hey bay-bee!" (Yes, am geek.)

ROFL at whoever said the ladies would be throwing their diapers at him! He really is way too charming =)

Karen

Someone sent me over to your blog, which I hadn't read before, because in my quiet little space I was just talking about my two year old with sensory issues. If it relaxes you any, mine failed his evaluation on "self care" because he doesn't like to dress himself and rarely uses a fork. So you can see it takes very little for them to dole out the free services - at least in my neck of the woods.

It's a strange tension between wanting them to fail so they get help and wanting them to exceed all expectations so the evaluators can marvel at them as much as you do. For Eli's evaluation I scrubbed like mad and put out brunch snacks in the dining room. The evaluators walked right in and sat on the living room floor and focused only on him, never pausing to enjoy muffins and fresh fruit. Obviously I was a bit confused about what this would be like. In any case, he loved it, and they were excellent at what they do.

Good luck. I'll be back to read how it goes. :)

Marie

My younger cousin wasn't talking at two and a half and they went through all this crap that I'm not even entirely sure about.
Turned out there was something wrong with his ears, and he was pretty much deaf. They put tubes in, and all of a sudden, he was like, holding full convos with you about philosophy. Or dinosaurs. Whatever. Point being, it was fine. Once you correct whatever the worry is (if there is even a worry) things will progress SO rapidly, you'll be shocked as all hell.

mcewen

Yup, we all need those freebies!
Can you give me a translation for Mall Hair Mom Mullets? A picture would help as we're visual learners around here.
Best wishes

Bethany

Haha, adorable as usual but looks a little like something out of "weekend at Bernies" or "The Big Lebowski".

MJ

I am a physical therapist who works for tiny-K services. (that would be EI to you, or birth to three, or whatever-- all the same, just different locations).
I would advise you to have a perfectly normal day with Noah for his evaluation. We want to see exactly what happens on a regular day-- not a super-preparedfor-everythingclean-and-totally-outofsorts type of day. If things were completely wonky, we might think we're not getting a clear picture... and ask to come back another time.

Just tell the truth-- they will be professional and helpful and--- they WANT to do their job well, and they WANT to provide services for Noah if he needs them. (or at least, in my county we do!) If he doesn't qualify at 25% based on standardized testing, you can always ask the speech therapist specifically about his abilities. We have a clause in our state that says a licensed practitioner can qualify a child based on professional judgment, regardless of testing performance. I've qualified kids who didn't technically qualify way more than twice.

It is okay to ask questions, and it is okay to talk about your frustrations, your observations, and your goals. They are not there to judge. And remember-- he's yours, he's Noah, and nothing, not even a language delay, will ever make you love him any less.
(and seriously, he's so stinking cute he should qualify on that alone! ;)
Good luck!

Kelly

Ohhh, he is so cute. I wish you the best at your visit on August 9.

Lisa G

He is so cute. My sister's 27-month old just had his birth to three eval and started speech therapy last week. It's been interesting to read about you going through the same thing and worrying about the same things as we are. Thanks for sharing.

Kim

Hang in there. Unfortunately it's a long process solving the puzzles of children and their development. But you are doing great!

jen

the overall combo of pimp shirt + shades + thrown-back head + "how YOU doin" look + oh so cool hair shag is pretty lethal -- but I think it's the pimp shirt that gets me the most. or maybe the sippy cup?

man he is cute.

Kenneth

Please tell Noah from one ladies' man to another, he has great taste in shirts.

Little Lark

I wanted to comment earlier, but was stuck studying for the bar exam- I just want to add my voice to the choir saying that you are absolutely doing the right thing, trusting your instincts and getting Noah whatever bit of help he might need. He's a lucky kid to have you for aMom.

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