A Little Off the Top

I've been dragging my feet all week over this post, but y'all are so lovely and sweet and caring that I just cannot lie to you anymore. I simply must confess.

We cut Noah's hair this weekend.

Wait! Don't cry! It's okay!

We actually cut Noah's hair once already, way back in February, at one of those kiddie salons. I asked the...stylist? barber? person who cuts hair with the same finesse as a toddler cuts construction paper with some safety scissors?...to leave his hair longish. "Just trim the bangs," I said. "Maybe clean up the back a little bit."

Of course, her internal cutting computer defaulted to BOY = SHORT = DWEEB and she practically shaved his head.

WEEP. DO NOT WANT AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I DO MISS THOSE CHUBBY KNUCKLES.

But there was no doubt that his hair has been getting a little ridiculous lately. I found myself contemplating a spray bottle at the drugstore so I could spritz and scrunch his curls back into shape during the day.

(Okay, so maybe I was the one who was getting a little ridiculous. But clearly, I had to be stopped.)

This time I took him to my stylist, and let me tell you, there are few things better than watching a flamboyant gay man with a bleached mohawk gently fuss over your child's hair. Especially when the whole affair is so pleasingly color-coordinated.

"Please don't make him look dweeby," I said. "Or Republican."

"I know not to cut the curls," he said. "Trust me, I KNOW."

I don't know who this man is or what he's doing to me, but if anyone messes with mah juice I will set this whole place on fire.

So. We still have curls and hippie hair. It's just a little less tempting to pull his hair into ponytails tied up with little bows now. He still looks pretty adorable while wearing my headbands, not that I would allow that sort of thing, or put them on him deliberately, and anyway, we call them hats.

We're getting professional photos taken on Tuesday. So we just need to make it through the next four days without any new face bruises, cuts, fat lips or black eyes. I should probably just pad the entire house with a layer of bubble wrap.