The Absolutely Everything I Have Learned About Speech Delays Entry



I've decided to start taking Tuesdays off. Officially. No writing. No email. No nothing. (It's going super well today, obviously.)

It's really more for Noah's benefit than mine -- so I can get him OUT OF THE HOUSE and expose him to VARIOUS ENRICHING ACTIVITIES, or like this morning's playdate at the National Building Museum (with Vickie and Teo), the chance to play with aballs that were slightly different than any of the 14,200,003 aballs we have at home.

Oh, and then he started going up to random adults in the room and signing for milk, because his asshole mother left his cup on the kitchen counter at home, and was generally just not paying very much attention to him at all, because DUDE THEY HAD GIANT FOAMY LEGOS. I WAS VERY BUSY.

Anyway. The point of all these words is to say that I am not writing any more words today, but am instead going to put Noah down for an nap and then eat some bon-bons on my diamond-studded sofa (so pleasingly bumpy!), sewn and stuffed with my millions of Internet dollars.**

Some of those dollars will be coming from JCPenney this month, because I wrote some words for them over heah, for this Fall Shopping Guide. Except that I kind of forgot to write about shopping. They told me the topic was "the home," so I figured I'd write more about the Beige Paint That Ate My Soul or just make fun of my husband a little bit. Now I'm feeling kind of dumb because all the other bloggers are writing USEFUL posts about decorating the home and shopping for the home, and I'm all, "my coffee tables are crooked! oh noes!"

God, I'm an ass. And just wait until everybody reads my next post, which you KNOW will be about my improperly-hung toilet paper.

**I'm kidding! There are no bon-bons, only chips and salsa.



I don't believe you. I KNOW you have a diamond studded sofa, just like me!!

Noah looks quite handsome in that hard hat, too.


Also, the Fall Shopping Guide you wrote was way better than the others (that I didn't even bother to read because yours are THAT GOOD)! Sorry about being called a hobbit. I saw your tables earlier and really wanted them but now am reconsidering.


Ah, yes. A day off of the computer. Good luck on that.

Sweet picture. Hope you had fun at the kiddie place. Those places are awesome. It's gonna suck when my babies aren't babies anymore and people will look at me funny as I bounce on the jumpy things...


I went to the building museum for the first time a month or so ago and totally wished I had a little tyke I could use as an excuse to get into that giant playroom. Giant legos!


From now on Bossy won't be commenting on tuesdays. Because she can be like that.


Can I take Tuesdays off, too? From cooking and cleaning and diaper changing? Cuz that'd be great.


Don't forget the daytime TV.

Hope you enjoy your Tuesdays "off." It's good to get 'em out of the house for stuff like that. I don't know how you do it most days, because if I did't leave the house for at least an hour or two every day, I would be certifiable.


How ever will I procrastinate at work on Tuesdays without your witty and entertaining posts?

You know what? I think you should post some suitable alternatives before your Tuesdays-off begin...and maybe a reminder next Tuesday so I don't sit here waiting for an update! kthxbai


You are officially big time! Oh and btw, I love that mirror/keyrack combo. I have a mirror and a separate key rack hanging by my door but would love a combination one!


so where is that museum located? I suppose it would be just as easy to google, but I'm lazy and asking you seems easier...and I'm really curious!


What a great idea to go to the building museum. Would you recommend it? The last museum we went to was the airplane museum in college park..


Mm. Chips and salsa. Wanna Corona?


Awesome picture of Noah, who is becoming a big boy! And an adorable one, at that.


Meh, I don't know. I thought your home posts were hillarious! Didn't realize till after I posted comments that apparently I use the phrase "too funny" too much. Oops. But it's the truth!

How fun to take Tuesday's With Noah days. Enjoy them!

All Adither

Your boy looks just like Bob the Builder.

I prefer to eat pretzel rods while curled up on my dog's dirty bed.

Just kidding. I don't really have a dog.

Maxine Dangerous

For about two seconds, I thought, "Noah has a b!tchin' bedroom!" *smacks self in head*


I want your child. He is soooo cute! And it would be easier than me getting pregnant and fat and giving birth.


I've been thinking of taking Michael to the building museum. I heard it was cool. I'll have to check it out.


Maxine Dangerous, I thought Noah's "bedroom" was pretty cool, too, for a sec. derrhh.


He is heart-stoppingly adorable, omfg.


ehh...so you didn't write about shopping. It's what we love about you: you screw it all up and still it's great! I want a little of what you're having please.

Wacky Mommy

TP is always worth discussing.

Mrs. Davis

I'm currently painting our new house three different shades of beige (except for the playroom, which is bright green), and I have a Flickr set to prove it. I feel you.


Noah is adorable as usual.

I will take chips and salsa over bon bons any day of the week.

I think your home posts were pretty cool.

Hope you enjoyed your day off.

Erin - ExpectingExecutive

You are too funny! Can my kid come play with your kid?



Noah. Is. So. CUTE!!!!!!
Oh my word he just gets cuter by the second- how do you stand it?
Also- giant foamy legos? I would LOVE to play with those-that would be a blast. Glad you two had fun! :)


Completely perfect picture of the divine talking Noah ( am sneaking in a hint that I just read the post below but was locked out of comments because am so slow and behind on blog reading because my skin is falling off and am so busy scratching myself I cannot even read about beautiful blonde babies who can talk and eat spaghetti. Damn.

Katie Kat


Go relax already...!!! :)


Whew, I can tell I dodged a bullet when we avoided buying four small ottoman squares.

Also, I would pick chips and salsa over bon bons every day of the week.


I really lurve your blog! You have such a wonderful, brilliant of telling a tale...

sarah sensiblysassy.blogspot.com

Looks like you are going to be really strict on this "no Tuesday" rule...I am sad...

Papa Bradstein

Internet dollars? Is that like Monopoly money? Does it work in bars? How about in Canada?


Missed yesterday's post until today, but just wanted to say (re: Noah's progress): told ya so! Way to go, Noah!!! You weren't in the audience of the Today Show with your dad yesterday, were you??!!! Cuz that little guy was blond and named Noah too!


Yeah, but you have the most comments over there so you must be doing something right.


Cute picture!
I'm sure JCPenney would have told you if they wanted you to write "useful" stuff- your words are useful in a different way.
(Yay for you for taking Tuesday breaks!)

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