Like Tears of a Clown: The Fat Rolls of a Pursedog
What We Do When We're Not Making Fun of the Dog

Lard Dog Responds


I are not fat.


I are victim of sensashunalistic tabloid society and unrealistic body image ideels.


Also bad camera angles. Feel v. exployted.


Gained two pounds mebbe. Small one says I can has waffles. Look at face and say I cannot has waffles.

Go on. I dare.


Snausage is teh new hourglass anyways. Read it n Vogue.


Would open VMAs next year and look wicked hott but are boycottin with my boy Kanye.

Love, but u cannot has be under my umbrella becuz u called me fat,




It's probably not helping Ceiba's self-esteem that you look so teeny-tiny.

(Funny, funny post.)


First? Oh Mah Gawd. Poor Ceiba. She's like the Britney of Amalah-Land.


Oh Ceiba, I am sorry. I actually think have a lovely shape and yes, you can has waffles.

blogging barbie

ummm, loving this post. hilare.

and you? look oh so teensy. tellll me your secret!!!

xo, bb

Virginia Gal

The fabulousness of the wall color in bath + Noah head in mirror are very distracting. Dog? What dog?


Hee hee - the ads in the sidebar were ALL about high protein/low carb diets, weight loss programs, and not surprisingly, cookie and waffle recipes :)


Ding! Ceiba has a complex because her "mommy" is so skinny and hot. You go on with your bad self, Amy!


Poor Ceiba is developing quite the complex. At least she hasn't shaved her head yet!


Amy! Those jeans are fan-frakin'-tastic. Nice.

I'm glad Ceiba responded. Some folks were being pretty harsh! Ha.


Hello, Camel Toe, Ceiba. The Committee for Standards of Decency will suffer massive heart attacks after seeing photo 4.

mama speak


Step away from the waffles! I did not call you're just big boned!

Don't worry, I sure the cat will do something soon and the tabloids will pick it up and then the spotlight will be off of you.

Li'l Foot's Mommy

Ceiba, you don't look as pudgy when you're standing up as opposed to those tabloid fat roll pictures from yesterday!!! Does that make you feel any better?


Your flatter than flat abs give me much needed hope as I sit here 35 wks preg with the belly taking up half of my lap! Thanks for that pick me up:)

Maxine Dangerous

Ceiba should definitely sue the paparazzi. :)


ceiba's got a beautiful face and would be so gorgeous if thinner (isn't that the backhanded comment a lot of overweight people get?)

and Amalah is hot!


You crack me up. Oh, you too, Amalah.


Ceiba can has waffles.

And goldfish crackers.

And whatever she wants, so long as it doesn't make her ill.

"Snausage is teh new hourglass anyway..." made me ROFL :)


Rihanna would be proud. I would be to if I could stop laughing. Freakin' hilarious.


Own it, Ceiba. Here's to being big (well, by min pin standards, maybe), brown, and beautiful!

Jen O.

Auck, the poor wee girl. She has such a pretty...face.


Poor Ceiba. Damn tabloids. :)


Aww, Cieba, I takes it back.
You is not porker.
You is adorable.


Feeling a certain fatty alliance with Ceiba... am also blaming bad camera angles.


Feeling a certain fatty alliance with Ceiba... am also blaming bad camera angles.


I never called you fat. So I hope this means that I can stand under your umbrella...because when the sun shines we shine together


You tell the Ceiba!

When people tell me my girls are fat, I tell them she is just healthy. Also, if Noah says you can have waffles then of course you can have waffles. Noah rules :-)


that is the funniest thing i've seen in weeks.
thank you.


I am laughing so hard I am crying. And I'm also sending the two posts to my fellow snarky gossips. Thanks. :)


Ceiba is a girl after my own heart: chubby rolls, waffle addiction, and bad grammar! Rock on. ;-)

Lisa G

Too funny.


Oh my god, I can't read you at work when Ceiba is the guest blogger. I laugh too loud and my coworkers think I'm strange.


Tell Ceiba that two things land you on the cover of tabloids: a few fat shots in a bikini OR photo documentation of your wasting body before hospitalization for anorexia. I think she should congratulate herself for not giving in to the demands and expectations of Hollywood. Love your big, bad self, Ceiba and screw the masses.


My wee schnauzer also put a few pounds on this summer, but on her 10lb body her few pounds are chunnnky monkey. I blame all of the time she has spent at my brother's and the pizza and beer he feeds her. I love her girlish figure even as we take more trips to the park.


Lard-dog looks a-dor-able! What kind of camera is that by the by?

Heather B.

Oh yes, I forgot that I was to come to Ceiba's defense today. NOT FAT. She's still a tiny little cute thing. And snuggly, very snuggly. In fact I think there's a rule in the Amalah-Foodie Household that forces them to be criminally adorable and good looking and NOT FAT.

The end.

hello insomnia

where's teh fat?


Zoftig is the new Anorexic.


Ok, so he's NOT fat. But lip synching still leaves something to be desired.


wow! wow you are soooo skinny and seriously you look so cute in those jeans and belt. me and my fat pregnant ass are gonna go pout over some ice cream now!

Wacky Mommy

all i can say is heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heeeeeee...

Lisa M

Awwww! It's so hard to say no to a face like that! My doggies say you look just fine!


Too funny! You know that it's your fault (and people like you), that I speak to my dog in broken English. My WH HATES it. He asked me one day why I talk to our dog like that, and I just looked at him and said "do you really mean to try and convince me that he speaks perfect English? You don't speak fluent dog, do you?" Tee hee. It makes him crazy!

BTW, my cats will be so glad to hear that snausage is the new hourglass. At 23, 20 and 18 pounds, they are "robust" and proud. They is can have waffles too. ;-)


Pssst... is it true that Ceiba gained all her weight in rehab and the waffle business is just a cover story? Because that's what they're saying in Purse Dog Weekly, the AKC Star, AND the National Dogquirer.


Oh Ceiba, you can have all the waffles you want. Don't listen to the tabloids -- you are gorgeous!


Am not fat. Am perfect size. For ottoman.


Further proof that metabolisms eventually slow...


holy crap! Look how skinny YOU are!

All Adither

If you keep that up, the digital cam will end up in the toilet too.


Bad Paparazzi, Bad!

(Good thing Ceiba doesn't ride in limos....athough pic#4 comes close to imitating Brit-brit's flashing incident....)


Ceiba, honey. You look great. But, listen - you needs to fire yer publicist, she ran you in yesterday, girlfriend. And that photog you used for yesterdays shoot? Never again. I'm just sayin'.


Oh Ceiba...I says you are purfect! You can has Cheezeburger if it makes you feel betterz. lolz


Ceiba!!! She is Teh Hott, as is her momma!


ETA: I gives you waffles all teh times.


My dog, Murphy (or Myrrrphy) is very concerned about Doggie Ebonics more than body language. He thinks Ceiba should worry more about her speech than her size. She is beautiful, Murphy says. Also, he wants me to say that waffles don't come in cans. He is confused. See middle photo for his reaction.


P.S. Hilarious. Ceiba should have her own comic strip.


i know how ceiba feels. you, though, my dear, i just hope i look half that good after i have a kid. and your hair!




I seriously snickered the whole way through this.

And - AND! - I actually think Ceiba looks stunning with the extra meat on her bones.



kim at allconsuming

Forget the dawg and check out the hot chick. There's not even a hint of muffin top, which is a crime against mothers. You're looking f.a.b.


Holy shit and stuff!!! That is NOT Ceiba......WOW! You however my dear, look HOT! And actually, Ceiba looks damn cute:)


and just what does the cat think of all this attention that is not directed towards him?


"Snausage is teh new hourglass anyways." Apparently I missed this in Vogue but this is very good to know since I just had a baby and am still not back to size. I should embrace my snausage, is what Ceiba is telling me? Eat more waffles? How about ice cream and peanut butter?


I'm glad Ceiba got equal time to respond. Give the poor puppy more waffles!


ROFL !!!

"Snausage is teh new hourglass"

You mean I'm in vogue?!? Damn ! Why doesn't someone TELL me these things !!

Katie Kat

HA! Ceiba and Britney must be BFF by now... they've both been so ATTACKED by the media! Actually, if you ask me (and didn't you ask me?) Ceiba has WAYYYYYYYYYYY more talent than Brit-Brit!

Ceiba - You can has waffles (but must sacrifice some to teh cat god Maximillian Thunderdome).


I am seriously laughing my bootay off here. I am also going to boycott the VMAs with Kanye and Ceiba!


I'm sorry but Ceiba is still cute. Rolls or not. :)


Oooh- Ceiba I love you! Way to show the world that big is beautiful!


Heh. Heh. Lard dog.

Put her in underwear and have her stagger around onstage.

Too funny.


Um, fat pursedogs are cute. My chihuahua (who is far to manly to be put in a purse because he will claw you to death) looks like a min pin and people keep trying to convince me that really, he is one. Obviously, people are dumb. I added you as a link to my blog because I am a huge fan of this site... Long live pursedogs!


She is way thinner here!


"...can has more waffles..." Wahhhaa!! I can't quit reading - or lol about - the last two days posting's. My co-worker are talking about putting mitten on my hands so I can't access your site anymore. ROFL!!!


I heart Lard Dog...and waffles too.


You need to do stand up daughter turned me on to your site and I nearly wet my pants everyday laughing...I can help Ceiba with her dialectic differences (I'm a speech therpaist!) What a gift...keep it up!

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