So You've Gone and Dropped Your iPhone in the Toilet: Some Handy Steps & Pointers
September 05, 2007
1) If you have not yet dropped your iPhone in the toilet, consider NOT dropping your iPhone in the toilet. This is a solid course of action, in my opinion, and one that can be easily achieved by not keeping your iPhone in your back pocket, unless your back pocket has a button, but if that's the case, you probably aren't cool enough to own an iPhone in the first place, no?
If displacement of object x (where x = a fucking expensive phone) is forced by the downward velocity of object y (where y = your pants), object x will swan dive out and away from object y, with the trajectory being affected by the natural gravitational pull of object z (where z = the shitter) by a fairly simple factor of murphy's law < just your flipping luck + manufacturers' warranty = VOID.
In layman's terms: pants down + phone falls = splish splash.
2) If you have already dropped your iPhone in the toilet, you do need to immediately remove it from the toilet, then proceed directly to step 3.
3) Wash your hands.
4) Stare at phone in horror for a few seconds and assess the damage. The screen will probably be reminiscent of scrambled porn.
5) Turn the phone off, if you can. Hit the button on the top of the phone and hold it until you see the fancydancy SLIDE TO POWER OFF option on the screen, which of course you will not see, because of the aforementioned scrambled porn. NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, OR ANYTHING.
5a) Try holding down the home button AND the top-of-phone button at the same time until the phone shuts off.
6) Don't turn it back on. Unless you are Amy. Who turned it back on.
7) Don't stick pens in the side of the phone in a vain attempt to open it up. Unless you are Amy. Who stuck pens in the side of the phone in a vain attempt to open it up.
8) Go online and read about dunking the phone in rubbing alcohol or Everclear. Do not do this because it sounds scary, but consider taking a shot of Everclear. Or 12.
8a) Sink into blissful alcohol poisoning coma, where you will never have to think about the time you dropped your iPhone in the toilet, forever and ever, fluffy clouds and harps.
9) Put the phone down. Walk away. Wring hands, rent garments, gnash teeth.
10) Do not walk back to the phone after 10 minutes and attempt to start it back up. Unless you are...oh, you know where this is going.
12) Stick the phone in a cup of rice. Fret for a few minutes re: basmati or Arborio or possibly some Uncle Ben's Cheddar Rice with Broccoli before settling on the long grain enriched.
13) Remember, perhaps, that you did not ever finish peeing.
14) Confess to husband. Get shrill and hysterical over the idea that you may have to get an non-iPhone phone, because you cannot afford another iPhone, but doesn't he understand? You had an iPhone! You cannot go back now! What are you supposed to use, a fucking Razr?
14a) Consider prostitution.
15) Call it a day and go to bed. Tell reflection in mirror that it is not worthy of owning an electric toothbrush, much less an iPhone. Tell non-reflected-self to go to hell.
16) Wait at least 24 hours before turning the phone back on. Whoop with joy at the sight of the Apple logo. Holler with ecstasy at the sight of the homescreen. Weep with gratitude when the phone connects to the network with a fat, full signal.
17) Touch the Phone icon to call you husband and tell him that he doesn't need to divorce you after all.
18) Touch it again when nothing happens.
19) Oh.
20) Safari? Mail? iPod? Settings? Anyone? Bueller?
21) Determine that only the top half of the screen is working. Congratulations! Your iPhone is now a $600 texting/calendar/Google Mapping device.
21a) Oh, and YouTube. You can still totally get the sneezing panda video.
22) Turn phone off and flee the room, decide to give it another 24 hours, also wonder what the odds are that the Apple guys at the Genius Bar will believe you that my heavens, I have no idea what happened, or if the iPhone comes with a tracking chip like George's book on Seinfeld, which in that case they will simply hand the phone back to you and say, I'm sorry, but this phone has been in the toilet, and we cannot help you.
(Ahh, this old chestnut. I should really have this photo on a macro by now. Ctrl+Alt+Fuckthisshit)
i'm first, i'm first!
ok, now that i got that out of my system ... dont underestimate the value of having sneezing pandas at your fingertips.
i'm betting, (if your iphone is anything like my non-iphone) there's a tiny adhesive dot on the inside which will turn red if it's been submerged in water... which makes you totally SOL if you try to tell them it was NOT submerged in water...
bastards thought of everything.
That sucks. Apple should give you another just based on the publicity you are generating about their phone. I mean really, what is a free phone to them?
I keep my work badge in my pocket and have totally dropped it the in the toilet upon standing up. Which is not nearly as bad as your iPhone. But still ... reaching into an unflushed toilet? Ewwww.
I'm sorry that you dropped your phone. But I can't help laughing at your pain because you tell it so damn funny!!! No wait, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. And kudos to the Seinfeld ref.
Ohhh nooo!! That totally sucks. That's why I won't spend alot of money for things like that.
Yep. I totally agree with above posted comments. They have those dots things that tell when they have been in water. The husband's did that because he had his phone in his pocket (a razr) and he sweats too much!
Hopefully, the iphone will magically work!!!
My thoughts are with ya!
So sorry about the technical difficulties. I think it is fear of something like this happening that keeps me from buying a cell phone at all. And, I apologize for being a smartass, but when you write "rent" your garments, do you mean "rend" your garments? Or maybe you are being funny, and I missed the joke. In which case, I am lame.
That my friend, is shitty. (No pun intended.) Can it be repaired for less that buying a new one?
I have been a lurker for several months, but I have cried and laughed my ass off at your blog and finally felt the need to tell you. One of the best parts of my day!
well, crap on a stick...or iphone. I'm sorry. My husband would advise taking it apart with teeny tiny screwdrivers and blowing it dry with a hairdryer. Like he did when I dumped a huge ass cup of coffee on my brand new laptop. I q-tipped every single key and yet I still have some stickers.
GOOD LUCK. And: BAH!
They can tell if it was in the toilet. My mom put her phone in her bathing suit and then went in the pool (don't ask) and I sent it back in for service under the warranty, denying all the time that it had gotten near water. They knew. :(
Dude... This is exactly why I will never have an iPhone. Or, anything more pricey than the Razr (bwahaha) I got for free.
Being an Amy, I totally would have done all those things too. I hope the extra day of dry-out will help. (the phone. I'm not recommending dry-out for you. In fact, wine sounds necessary. Then watch the sneezing panda.)
I will keep my fingers crossed through the next 24 crucial hours.
At least it half-works, right? Hopefully, with another days drying, it will ALL work. I'm crossing my fingers for you!
Delurking to say I'm very sad for you. But when I was on my honeymoon last hear and soaked my brand new digital camera it did work again. It took 3 days to dry out and work again. And 3 days of sitting there like an expensive paperweight, but dry out it did!!! So I hope your dries out too. Good luck.
I thought that #7 said, "Do not stick PENIS in side of phone".
I'm not going to fib--it concerned me a bit.
See, I just thought of something that could have been #23. Never stick penis in side of phone. Good to know.
This post must go in the "Best of...." category, if you have one. Get one, Amy. Get one.
I dropped my old cell phone in the toilet. Twice. It wasn't an i-phone, so this may not work....BUT. My husband took a hair dryer to it (the cool setting) off and on for a day. We were able to disassemble it a bit, so if you can do that, at all, do. Otherwise, just try to blow air through the seams. Might work, couldn't hurt.
Good luck. You're not the only toilet dropping fool. Maybe that will make you feel better.
It's a really good thing you pictured the long grain rice bag with the iPhone submerged in the jar of long grain rice, otherwise I would've thought you went ahead and submerged your iPhone in a jar of maggots or something :-)!!!
I feel your pain. But the way you explain it still makes me laugh because that's what I would have done too.
And like Hillarie says, I think you should hit up Apple for a free phone for all the publicity. :)
I have to laugh because I too have dropped my phone in the toilet. I went golfing at a really nice golf club for a work thing. I went to the bathroom after my round of golf and had my phone in my pocket. As I leaned over the toilet to flush, my phone fell out of my pocket into the toilet bowl and (you guessed it) I had already flushed and even after I dove in after it the phone was gone. The phone was just small enough to go down but big enough to lodge in the pipes. I had to go into the pro shop and tell the very good looking guy that worked there that I had just flushed my cell phone and plugged their toilet with it. He asked me to put an out of order sign on the stall but by the time I got back to the bathroom someone was already using it. Needless to say, there was much flooding, a plumber was called and I have not golfed there since.
I didn't read the other comments, so not sure if someone else has posted this already, BUT...my mom once dropped her cell phone in a creek, and even though it was completely submerged for about five minutes until she could get to it, and it had been smacked around on a couple of rocks, AND had been sopping wet in her hand until she hiked back to the car and drove home -- she took a hair dryer to it, dried it out for a while, and when she turned it back on, IT WORKED.
So, you might try that. Or not. Your choice.
Oh, the thought of dropping an iPhone in the turlet makes my heart hurt. I'm sorry. Hope it self-heals itself somehow.
At least you didn't drunkenly drop your Blackberry into a BUS TOILET on the way to a golf course like my former boss - the head of advertising for a very big TV network - did. He was A GENIUS and also A PROFESSIONAL.
dude, if i ever randomly meet you, i am *so* not asking to borrow your phone.
anyhoo, sorry to hear of the bad luck. hopefully it'll get itself together and start working again. :)
Well you can now console yourself with all the good that will have come from dropping your phone in the toilet, how many countless phones will have been saved. Oh and fuck off I love my razr and if I drop it in the toilet I can get a new one for 30 bucks so :P. Just kidding I love you
Hmm... I wonder if putting it in a sealed jar chock full of those dessicant packets that come with shoes, purses and certain types of food will help suck the moisture out. Maybe that's worth a try.
Okay, only because you put your phone is a cup of rice, do I feel a kinship with you enough to tell you that I dropped my phone in the toilet a couple motnhs ago, and because, this one time...the car alarm on my key chain would go through the wash, and not work, but if you put it in the dryer, it totally would, so....you get the idea, I put the phone in the dryer...and there may still have been clothes in there...and....it melted. duh. Buttons were hot and squishy and clothes were ruined, and I was pretty sure the phone was going to blow up in my face...so yeah. Whatever you do, don't put your phone in the dryer...not that you would. But still.
heh. suckage. i just WASHED my phone a little over a month ago. luckily, a replacement was only $62 (and 3 more months on my contract), but i SLIGHTLY feel your pain. good luck :/
also, does that alcohol thing not scare the heckity HECK out of you?! i finally did it with mine, but only after i'd given up hope on it. and by then, it was a goner, considering i tried to turn it on 3 times within like an hour of the washing. it was clean, though! dead, but clean :P
I once washed my phone and I let it dry out for a few days and it still worked but I don't know how that would work on a touch screen.
I love that picture though. :)
I'm not sure about anyone else...but I'm happy to see the "fuck this shit" picture back in action :)
Dude....that really sucks. I'd have probably shoved myself in the toilet if that had happened to me! So what's the plan now?
I will never tire of this picture.
Ever.
Have you tried sticking your iphone under your vacuum so that it could suck the water out? (okay okay don't try it I just thought it would be a funny post for tomorrow...)
Umm...I suppose the "good" news is that Apple just announced iPhones are now $399 for the 8 gig model?
Also, don't worry too much yet--my husband's Nano took a few days to dry out fully and resume somewhat normal functioning after his plunge into the lake.
Don't give up hope yet. It takes a long time for the phone to dry out. I read that it is better to NOT try to turn the phone on while it is drying out.
I once watered a plant that was right above our TV... the water overflowed and ran into the back of the TV. I cried that I had "killed my best friend". But after 3 days, when it was fully dry, the TV totally worked again, as good as before.
Also, they don't just put one of those white stickers that turn red if it gets wet inside your phone. I found FIVE in my phone after I dropped mine in the toilet. Some were buried so deep in the puzzle of electronic parts inside the phone that you could never find it unless you took the phone apart. I guess they got sick of liars like me saying, "I have no idea what happened to it!"
Good luck!
Sorry you had to join the Toilet Phone Club. (I was VERY sad the day I joined the club, and the phone I dropped was a Razr!)
Vintage. Amy.
Oh. And last month, while in a public bathroom, just after using a toilet whose cleanliness was severely questionable even BEFORE I used it, I dropped a charm off of my charm bracelet into said filthy, pee-filled bowl. A really meaningful charm that my recently-deceased grandmother gave me.
I must have stood there for 5 minutes debating whether or not the sentimental value was worth dirty-pee hand. I eventually plunged right in, but yuck. I scoured my hands raw after that, and still can't in good conscience touch my food with that hand.
I got a RAZR I had gotten wet to work by putting it in the freezer for few hours. Dunno if that wuld work with the iPhone. Probably not. Or, just go to Genius Bar and say you got blindsided walking down the street and it landed in a puddle and it was TOTALLY Some Other Person's fault.
Rice? Really? Hmmm.
I love that pic. Everyone should have their own version.
Well, at least Apple just dropped the price on the 8Gig model to $399, you know, if you still want one...
And, don't feel bad. One week after convincing me that the phone would "save my life", my DH's slipped out of his shirt pocket when he bent over and shattered the screen.
I now have complete naming rights for child #2 after a $300 fix; I take no prisoners and it comes out his tech allowance.
Good luck; it may still be salvaged but at least Steve Jobs is trying to look out for your bottom line? (no pun intended).
Hee! The rice thing! I totally had to do that with my DSL modem.
I spilled an entire glass of water on the modem. The modem got angry about that. So I put the modem in some rice. The modem was obviously hungry because it was suddenly full of rice. My husband gave me that look he always gives me when I do something stupid and then do something even more stupid to try to cover it up.
So the next day I called AT&T and said "I don't know what the problem is, but I can't connect to the internet." Hippie repair man comes out, checks some stuff, says "hmmm, I think you're modem is bad." (Hippie repair man is genius!) Hippie repair man gives me new modem free of charge! Yay!
I'm so sorry about your phone, but my gosh you are so freaking hilarious. Hopefully the phone will dry out and you can take some comfort in knowing that pee is sterile. (And maybe the red dot that rats you out will also indicate if something's up with your pee. "Sorry ma'am not only is your warranty void, but we think you need to drink more water...")
Olivia - maybe she really did mean "rent" because you know she is a total renthead now!
Amy - I am really sorry that your dispair brings so much laughter to my day. However, I was really overcome with the need to hug you when I saw that old chestnut. So consider yourself hugged.
I hate that your pain has caused me to laugh so hard. But, hey, silver lining: GREAT BLOG MATERIAL!!
(Not ready to see the silver lining yet, I bet.)
I too have lost a phone down the toilet but I had maternity pants to blame. I had no excuse for the one that fell into the pedicure pond.
Never tried to dry them out because it gave me a chance to get my money out of that insurance I pay on them each month. 'Cause I tend to drop them in water and all.
I did however just soak my car key fob for about 24 hours in the sink while it was in my pants pocket that needed soak. It took about 2 days to work again but it does.
Here's hoping you get the same results.
MAC just introduced a new iPhone.
Was this your tricky way to get one of the new ones?
oops - sorry
it's new ipods, not iphones
that's what I get to reading headlines too fast.
1. Bump up your acting skills.
2. Go to the Apple Store. Take Noah.
3. Blame everything on Noah ("This is slightly embarassing, but when you have kids you'll understand..."). He's cute enough that maybe they'll have sympathy.
Yes, it's amoral. But it's a fucking iPhone, and at least Noah can't blow your cover.
Oh, I am just SO SORRY! I have a friend who once ran her cell phone through the washing machine AND the dryer. And just recently she dropped it in a glass of water. In both cases, it survived. Best of luck with your iphone!