So You've Gone and Dropped Your iPhone in the Toilet: Some Handy Steps & Pointers
September 05, 2007
1) If you have not yet dropped your iPhone in the toilet, consider NOT dropping your iPhone in the toilet. This is a solid course of action, in my opinion, and one that can be easily achieved by not keeping your iPhone in your back pocket, unless your back pocket has a button, but if that's the case, you probably aren't cool enough to own an iPhone in the first place, no?
If displacement of object x (where x = a fucking expensive phone) is forced by the downward velocity of object y (where y = your pants), object x will swan dive out and away from object y, with the trajectory being affected by the natural gravitational pull of object z (where z = the shitter) by a fairly simple factor of murphy's law < just your flipping luck + manufacturers' warranty = VOID.
In layman's terms: pants down + phone falls = splish splash.
2) If you have already dropped your iPhone in the toilet, you do need to immediately remove it from the toilet, then proceed directly to step 3.
3) Wash your hands.
4) Stare at phone in horror for a few seconds and assess the damage. The screen will probably be reminiscent of scrambled porn.
5) Turn the phone off, if you can. Hit the button on the top of the phone and hold it until you see the fancydancy SLIDE TO POWER OFF option on the screen, which of course you will not see, because of the aforementioned scrambled porn. NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, OR ANYTHING.
5a) Try holding down the home button AND the top-of-phone button at the same time until the phone shuts off.
6) Don't turn it back on. Unless you are Amy. Who turned it back on.
7) Don't stick pens in the side of the phone in a vain attempt to open it up. Unless you are Amy. Who stuck pens in the side of the phone in a vain attempt to open it up.
8) Go online and read about dunking the phone in rubbing alcohol or Everclear. Do not do this because it sounds scary, but consider taking a shot of Everclear. Or 12.
8a) Sink into blissful alcohol poisoning coma, where you will never have to think about the time you dropped your iPhone in the toilet, forever and ever, fluffy clouds and harps.
9) Put the phone down. Walk away. Wring hands, rent garments, gnash teeth.
10) Do not walk back to the phone after 10 minutes and attempt to start it back up. Unless you are...oh, you know where this is going.
12) Stick the phone in a cup of rice. Fret for a few minutes re: basmati or Arborio or possibly some Uncle Ben's Cheddar Rice with Broccoli before settling on the long grain enriched.
13) Remember, perhaps, that you did not ever finish peeing.
14) Confess to husband. Get shrill and hysterical over the idea that you may have to get an non-iPhone phone, because you cannot afford another iPhone, but doesn't he understand? You had an iPhone! You cannot go back now! What are you supposed to use, a fucking Razr?
14a) Consider prostitution.
15) Call it a day and go to bed. Tell reflection in mirror that it is not worthy of owning an electric toothbrush, much less an iPhone. Tell non-reflected-self to go to hell.
16) Wait at least 24 hours before turning the phone back on. Whoop with joy at the sight of the Apple logo. Holler with ecstasy at the sight of the homescreen. Weep with gratitude when the phone connects to the network with a fat, full signal.
17) Touch the Phone icon to call you husband and tell him that he doesn't need to divorce you after all.
18) Touch it again when nothing happens.
19) Oh.
20) Safari? Mail? iPod? Settings? Anyone? Bueller?
21) Determine that only the top half of the screen is working. Congratulations! Your iPhone is now a $600 texting/calendar/Google Mapping device.
21a) Oh, and YouTube. You can still totally get the sneezing panda video.
22) Turn phone off and flee the room, decide to give it another 24 hours, also wonder what the odds are that the Apple guys at the Genius Bar will believe you that my heavens, I have no idea what happened, or if the iPhone comes with a tracking chip like George's book on Seinfeld, which in that case they will simply hand the phone back to you and say, I'm sorry, but this phone has been in the toilet, and we cannot help you.
(Ahh, this old chestnut. I should really have this photo on a macro by now. Ctrl+Alt+Fuckthisshit)
Obviously, as there are like a hundred comments already that I am far too lazy to read, this has probably been asked and maybe even answered. But rice? Huh? Am quite confused... or possibly just not aware of the magic of rice?
Step Whatever-Number-Is-Next: Turn into an adorable blonde. My sister, said adorable blonde, has gotten not one but TWO toilet phones replaced by a large cell phone company that recently bought another cell phone company. Oh, hell, by Sprint. I have gotten zero replaced. I am not an adorable blonde.
Oh, and to the previous commenters, I think rice has Special Absorptive Powers. That's why diner owners use it in salt containers, to prevent sticky salt clumps.
So I see you went with the rice instead of the kitty litter. Makes sense, you already dropped it in YOUR toilet, no need to drop it in MAx's , as well.
*giggle*
You've obviously tried everything at this point, but here's another trick...I dropped my old crappy Verizon phone in the dog's water bowl 2 days before I was up for a new phone. And believe it or not, they wouldn't let me get a new phone a day early! The lovely service tech told me to take it apart and lay it on the defroster in my car, and turn the defroster on full blast. In the 15 minute drive home my phone was fixed!
1. I own a Razr.
2. It deserves EVERY bit of hate; I mean, I hate it.
3. Is that rice glass from Ikea?
4. Sorry about the iPhone.
At least you have the comfort of knowing they'll be obsolete before long anyway...and much cheaper.
Don't you just love how Apple adds insult to injury and slashes the price of your very expensive paperweight by 200 bucks two days after you render yours useless?
Ouch.
Here's hoping the rice magic has worked for you!
Wow-and I thought my week, being on vacation w/ my mother-in-law insulting me every five minutes was bad. Yeah, that sucks.
Um, there is a lesson here. It teaches you character, that which does not kill us makes us stronger type of thing.
No, it just sucks. So sorry.
I don't suppose you happened to notice that Apple unveiled a bunch of new i products like the new Nano and the iTouch, and they also LOWERED THE PRICE on the iPhone to $399!!! Just sayin'!
My roommate dropped her phone in the toilet once and it somehow magically survived after being taken apart, but that doesn't sound like the case, sorry about that.
At least the iPhone dropped $200 yesterday, more incentive to get another one perhaps?
Good luck!
My friend works as a keeper at the National Zoo. When feeding the sea lion, her phone fell out of an inner jacket pocket and plopped into the pool. Luckily, the sea lion had been taught to retrieve things and immediately dove to her phone!
She got it to *almost* good-as-new by putting it in the fridge. The air currents dried it out without frying it like a hair dryer might. Good luck!
Go to the Apple website. They just annouced on the news that if you payed full price, you can get a $100 credit at any Apple store with proof of purchase, Good Luck.
You may also be eligible for a $100 credit towards a new one!
http://money.cnn.com/2007/09/06/technology/iphone_price/index.htm?cnn=yes
go get the $100 credit...and the price was lowered $200...so at least that's something? sorry about the toilet...
OMG...sorry...I couldn't stop laughing. This is a much better story than when my wonderful knuckleheaded husband insisted on bringing his brand new Motorola Q to last summer's DMB concert at Nissan...where it poured more than the monsoons in India.
And better than yesterday when I narrowly missed dribbling freshly expressed brestmilk on our server. This was because our electicity went out while I was pumping and I ran all over the damn house (with the pump cups and bottles STILL ATTACHED...yeah, I'm that cool. and smart), powering down our computers and the server so that I could BEND OVER to turn off the damn-beeping from the battery back-ups we have. Instead, the dribbled expressed breastmilk hit the floor NEXT to the server (but may have splashed-up slightly). And know I know that if I flip out while having breast pump parts and milk attached to me, that I should NOT lean over...but should crouch down.
And maybe consider throwing down some rice near our server for good measure.
either way...good luck drying it out...hopefully without shelling out more money.
and I just realized that I am so cool and smart that I can't spell "breast" even though I supposedly have 2 of them. And I can't spell electricity, either, it seems.
definitely try the oven thing (please remember to turn it off) - the hot car sounds like it would work too! Also I have saved countless electronics in the fridge (including a completely submerged ipod). Good Luck and sorry to hear.
I work at Boeing, and according to one of my many nerdy engineers/co-workers, as long as you keep the power off and dry it out TOTALLY before you try to turn it back on again, it should work again. If it was "on" when you dropped it in???? Forget it, you're probably scr%$#. My advice? For what it's worth, that is: go get a cheaper cell phone....then, run straight to the nearest APPLE store and get one of the new Ipods that look like an Iphone but are really just an Ipod....then, you'll get to have not one, but TWO cool electronic devices to keep track of. Oh, and keep BOTH of them away from the toilet.....
Amy:
Did you see this? http://www.apple.com/hotnews/openiphoneletter/
The keys to my dorm room fell out of my coat and into the toilet. And guess what, I flushed it. And guess what, THEY WENT DOWN THE TOILET never to be seen again. A full set of keys with a koosh ball for a key chain. Those damn dorm room toilets were stronger than the scary airplane flush!
look at the bright side..you can get a $100.00 credit toward buying a replacemment..Thanks to Steve Jobs.
WOW, tons of comments on this one...I bet you feel better now that you know you're going to get a $100 credit for your useless phone.
My kids got my phone wet when we had just relocated to FL. When I took it to the Verizon store to try and get them to replace it, of course they looked at the indicator and found that it had been wet.
I explained that it was a northeastern phone and not accustomed to the Florida humidity. That didn't "hold any water" :) I know I know bad pun
This story just ran on msn.com today. How timely.
http://tech.msn.com/products/articlecnet.aspx?cp-documentid=5403093>1=10439
um, delurking i guess is the official term for what i'm doing, though it sounds so tawdry to me. i want to thank you in general for your brilliant writing. this post in particular is a favorite because i love how-to (or how-not-to) lists. and i am very sorry about your phone.
Lawd, git your money, honey!
If it makes you feel better, I got the (formerly) fancy black iPod that apparently plays music and movies and risotto and stuff, but I have had it since Christmas and I still stare blankly at it all "Ooooh, shiny". Every time I try to get music on it, I erase everything put on it previously. Because I have a master's degree and NO BRAIN.
Make that bastard Jobs give you your money!