So You've Gone and Dropped Your iPhone in the Toilet: Some Handy Steps & Pointers
September 05, 2007
1) If you have not yet dropped your iPhone in the toilet, consider NOT dropping your iPhone in the toilet. This is a solid course of action, in my opinion, and one that can be easily achieved by not keeping your iPhone in your back pocket, unless your back pocket has a button, but if that's the case, you probably aren't cool enough to own an iPhone in the first place, no?
If displacement of object x (where x = a fucking expensive phone) is forced by the downward velocity of object y (where y = your pants), object x will swan dive out and away from object y, with the trajectory being affected by the natural gravitational pull of object z (where z = the shitter) by a fairly simple factor of murphy's law < just your flipping luck + manufacturers' warranty = VOID.
In layman's terms: pants down + phone falls = splish splash.
2) If you have already dropped your iPhone in the toilet, you do need to immediately remove it from the toilet, then proceed directly to step 3.
3) Wash your hands.
4) Stare at phone in horror for a few seconds and assess the damage. The screen will probably be reminiscent of scrambled porn.
5) Turn the phone off, if you can. Hit the button on the top of the phone and hold it until you see the fancydancy SLIDE TO POWER OFF option on the screen, which of course you will not see, because of the aforementioned scrambled porn. NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, OR ANYTHING.
5a) Try holding down the home button AND the top-of-phone button at the same time until the phone shuts off.
6) Don't turn it back on. Unless you are Amy. Who turned it back on.
7) Don't stick pens in the side of the phone in a vain attempt to open it up. Unless you are Amy. Who stuck pens in the side of the phone in a vain attempt to open it up.
8) Go online and read about dunking the phone in rubbing alcohol or Everclear. Do not do this because it sounds scary, but consider taking a shot of Everclear. Or 12.
8a) Sink into blissful alcohol poisoning coma, where you will never have to think about the time you dropped your iPhone in the toilet, forever and ever, fluffy clouds and harps.
9) Put the phone down. Walk away. Wring hands, rent garments, gnash teeth.
10) Do not walk back to the phone after 10 minutes and attempt to start it back up. Unless you are...oh, you know where this is going.
12) Stick the phone in a cup of rice. Fret for a few minutes re: basmati or Arborio or possibly some Uncle Ben's Cheddar Rice with Broccoli before settling on the long grain enriched.
13) Remember, perhaps, that you did not ever finish peeing.
14) Confess to husband. Get shrill and hysterical over the idea that you may have to get an non-iPhone phone, because you cannot afford another iPhone, but doesn't he understand? You had an iPhone! You cannot go back now! What are you supposed to use, a fucking Razr?
14a) Consider prostitution.
15) Call it a day and go to bed. Tell reflection in mirror that it is not worthy of owning an electric toothbrush, much less an iPhone. Tell non-reflected-self to go to hell.
16) Wait at least 24 hours before turning the phone back on. Whoop with joy at the sight of the Apple logo. Holler with ecstasy at the sight of the homescreen. Weep with gratitude when the phone connects to the network with a fat, full signal.
17) Touch the Phone icon to call you husband and tell him that he doesn't need to divorce you after all.
18) Touch it again when nothing happens.
19) Oh.
20) Safari? Mail? iPod? Settings? Anyone? Bueller?
21) Determine that only the top half of the screen is working. Congratulations! Your iPhone is now a $600 texting/calendar/Google Mapping device.
21a) Oh, and YouTube. You can still totally get the sneezing panda video.
22) Turn phone off and flee the room, decide to give it another 24 hours, also wonder what the odds are that the Apple guys at the Genius Bar will believe you that my heavens, I have no idea what happened, or if the iPhone comes with a tracking chip like George's book on Seinfeld, which in that case they will simply hand the phone back to you and say, I'm sorry, but this phone has been in the toilet, and we cannot help you.
(Ahh, this old chestnut. I should really have this photo on a macro by now. Ctrl+Alt+Fuckthisshit)
I think you just need to give it more time to dry out. Several years ago, my husband was out fishing, and his phone was behind him on the seat of the boat - he went to cast the line out and the hook (really) hooked the little knob that used to be at the end of the extendable cell phone antennas - he threw his phone, connected to the hook and bait, about 50 feet out into the lake. He reeled it back in, we got it (mostly) apart, and after drying out for a few days in the sun, it was fine. True.
I dropped my phone in the toilet once (mid-pee) and it basically survived, but required about two days to dry out first. I say "basically" survived because the 4 key was never quite the same again, and AT&T upgraded my phone within a month anyway.
Long time lurker de-lurking to say:
THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE HAS DONE IT! I dropped my iPhone in the toilet a couple of months ago. From this I can tell you three big things.
1. The rice ROCKS.
2. If you can get it to come on, there is hope in it just drying out. When I dropped mine (mine wouldn't turn OFF - I'd turn it off and it would immediately reboot itself), it did take a couple of days for it to resume full normal operation. Even now, my Home button sticks a bit, but there is still hope.
3. If you take it to the Genius Bar, own up to it and tell 'em you dropped it in the toilet. Also tell them you know someone who dropped *HERS* in the toilet and was quoted a price of somewhere in the neighborhood of $250 to repair the phone (i.e. put new innards into it - Apple make BIG profit off iPhones, so the innards aren't nearly as expensive as the phone itself).
Of course, while you're at the waiting and the Geniusing, curse loudly at the cruel cost of being an early adapter. Steve Jobs whacked the price on iPhones TWO HUNDRED FRIGGEN DOLLARS today. 8GB iPhones (there are no more 4GBs) are now $399. Damn you, Steve Jobs!
Dang, I was going to tell you that the iPhone's price has just been slashed by $200, but Suess beat me to it. So maybe you can afford a new iPhone after all?
I have a plain jane fisher price type phone- anything else would probably send me into something that looks like Miss Teen South Carolina trying to take the SATS.
Sorry about the phone, on another note- speech therapy does look a lot like playing. Sara started at 3 months old and is now 15 years old. It does move away from looking like playing eventually : )
Get that teenager that hacked the iphone on the case!You're the queen of Mamapop--you know the one! He made it do what it's not supposed to do! He'll save you! Oh, and what's up with lowering the price already?Seriously, keep trying the rice. Good luck!
My son actually dropped his V-Cam ( a childs version of a digital camera) in the toilet on christmas day, hours after opening it. We took it apart set it near a oscillating fan and let it dry out. I dont know if this will work for an IPhone, I suppose it depends if you can get it apart....
Oh no! But now I can send you this link, which is hilarious, but which I couldn't send before for reasons that will be obvious once you see it. Now, however, you may get a laugh AND it may be of some use to you.
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone
WH has a friend. I call him Unexpected Bill, because he is generally that annoying. Anyway. UB dropped his cell phone in the hot tub. UB's wife called their cell provider and wept. Trotted out the "my husband's a moron, please help me" card. Said cell provider CSR signed them up for water insurance on the phone and told her to wait a week or two to file the claim. She did, they honored the policy. Which circumvented the stupid dots.
Of course, UB being UB, he then went swimming with the replacement phone in his trunks. They replaced it again, free of charge, but when he dropped that one in the toilet, they canceled his policy.
I got water insurance on WH's phone when he refused to take it on his fishing jaunts. Claimed he didn't want to ruin it. You shoula seen the look on his face when I told him it was insured against water damage!
Cell phone insurance: $5/month. Circumventing excuses: Priceless.
So, maybe you could turn on the charm with the folks at AT&T? Just a thought.
*fingers crossed for Amy's iPhone*
Your phone has been flagged.
I was at the genius bar last month for my macbook and there were these 2 hot guys next to me making out. Of course, because they were hot so if they weren't gay then they'd have to be married or something. Anyway. One of them dropped his iphone in the tub. He said it was in the water for like 5 seconds and 3/4 of his screen was scrambled. The genius bar guy said that something or other in it was corroded and also that they already new it had been submerged in water b/c it has this indicator thing that changes when in contact with water. My point was that they told him it would be $250 to send in for repairs and that he was actually going to get a new phone sent back for that $ b/c that one was fucked. So. Not $600! $250! Go to your genius bar today!
One more there-is-hope example: I dumped a whole cup of coffee on a laptop once. I tried to mop it up, but didn't use a hairdryer or anything. I took it to Best Buy, where they kept it for three weeks before saying, "It's compltely shot and there's nothing we can do." I hid the laptop under my bed and bought a new one.
Two months later, while cleaning the floor, I noticed a blue light from under the bed; apparently the laptop wasn't so dead after all, and had come back to life with enough dry-out time. It works fairly well, even two years later (though it does have some odd tics from time to time).
Hang in there!
May Bossy suggest a lovely Funeral Dirge?
Amy - you don't have to become a prostitute - good news:
(09-05) 12:21 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- Apple CEO Steve Jobs delivered a bounty of music news Wednesday, introducing a new multi-touch iPod similar to the iPhone, slashing the price of the iPhone by $200 and announcing a new Wi-Fi iTunes music store that allows users to download music at various locations, including Starbucks stores.
Oh, this sucks. I am sorry. I offer a somewhat similar tale: several years ago when my husband was a medical resident, he was examining a baby for a well-child checkup. When he lifted the little (naked) guy up, the baby sent a perfect stream of pee arcing into my husband's pocket and onto whatever Palm-like device he was carrying at the time. Zzzt! The acid in the urine immediately fried his external brain, upon which he stored all of his medical notes, etc. He actually found someone online who was willing to try to fix it because the guy was so amused by the story behind how it came to be fried. And the guy got is working again. So there may be hope in some form out there. Good luck.
Aw nuts. That stinks hun! At least it makes for an interesting story? At least it dodn't die doing something totally boring and uninteresting? Right? It may be dead, but at least it earned it!
Oh you poor, poor girl. Maybe you could figure out a way to turn back time by 36 hours or so. Except I think that function on the iPhone is on the bottom of the screen.
*puts hand up*
Um, I'm using a fucking Razr.
It wouldn't bother you as much if you'd dropped a Razr down the toilet, eh? There's the plus side to owning a Razr! And it comes in pink! See? There's a positive for everything.
Is this phone-down-the-toilet thing becoming a blogger's epidemic? I swear this isn't the first time I've read this kind of story.
Yeah, I'm with the poster who said to blame it on Noah. I think you'll get more sympathy playing up the "my kid's in the 'drop everything in the toilet' phase!" versus "I went to pee and it fell in the toilet!" Because dude, ain't NO ONE who will want to touch your phone after it's been there!
Mmmmm, I don't like the implication (tongue in cheek or no) that people who have buttons on their pants aren't cool enough to own an iPhone. Or that one has to be cool to own one. In any case, dropping a phone in the toilet is not cool.
...so maybe you DO have buttons on your pants pockets, but you're just, like, semi-cool enough not to button them.
Craptastic situation, hilarious post.
The photo is perfect.
Um... you're not going to eat that rice now, are you?
Well... if you do end up having to buy a new phone you may find some consolation in the fact that prices may be (supposedly) "slashed" soon -- http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/09/05/BUMKRVI3O.DTL
I know that Apple sent free iPhones to every NBA player because, honestly, how could they ever afford one on their own meager salaries?
Anyway, you're much more entertaining than an NBA player, so my thought is Apple should send you a free replacement.
oh, dear god. amy, i feel for you. that sounds EXACTLY like something i would do if anyone were ever dumb enough to get me a precious, precious iPhone. as i am klutzo.
so sorry. :(
Oh, I am so sorry.
My non-iPhone phone did the leap o' death into the toilet from my back pocket once, too. But it wasn't as precious as an iPhone. (And don't you KNOW it has almost happened again. Maybe once, or maybe more times.)
I doubt it's any consolation at all, but your post was *hysterical.* (I was supposed to be laughing, right? You don't hate me cos I laughed, right?)
So, so sorry.
am going to youtube to watch sneezing panda video because I am so behind the times, I dropped my Razr down a PUBLIC toilet, thought that was bad enough, now discover am behind the times in that I have never seen sneezing panda video and cannot ever imagine even seeing an iphone never mind owning one. Bugger.
Bloody HELL, that is one loud sneeze from a teeny panda ( I actually DID go to youtube, have no life at all you see) Will now spend next 20 minutes being depressed that I will never have a phone posh enough to have videos on, although can not work out how to text on my cheap phone, so do not deserve anything grand at all, ever.
Cool ring!
Extra sympathy points because you bought it at full price. I would point and laugh ONLY if you got it cheaper than I did!
Have you tried taking your hair dryer to it? That worked for me when my cell got dropped by my 21 month old in the toilet!
Two suggestions -
Have you tried putting it in the refrigerator? That sometimes helps dry things out. Just think about that celery you bought for dressing/stuffing at Thanksgiving and found in March.
Second, if you know someone with hearing aids, normally they have this charger thing that they put them in at night. It also works as a dehumidifier. Hearing aids get wet, and they're electronic and they don't die. They're like $600, so find someone you can borrow from.
Good luck sweet talking ATT; I work with them on a regular basis and all I gotta say is what a buncha asshats. Ugh.
You know, here's the irony, I had an old phone sitting around collecting dust because I was going to donate the phone. Yeah right. After a couple years I decided to dispose of the phone myself but didn't want anyone to fish said phone out of garbage and retrieve my precious personal information (I get paranoid with lack of sleep and excessive alcohol). So I decided to just submerge the phone and kill it. It. Would. Not. DIE. I left it in the kitchen sink for hours, turned on, turned off, flipped open, flipped shut, battery in, battery out... it was like the phone from hell. So I finally took a hammer to it and that did the trick. But why did it take a few seconds in the toilet for iPhone to die and a hammer for old LG to finally succumb?
Very very sorry for your loss. That said: *helpless laughter resulting in tears and little gaspy noises as I try to remember to breathe* nope, I've got nothing else, just sorry and thanks for letting us laugh at your misery.
Maybe the genius guys won't notice if it smells like pee. And did you see that they dropped the price of the iPhone by $200 today? Isn't that great? Now you can get a new one, for cheap(ish)! Just consider the first $600 as being cool and awesome, and the 2nd purchase of a mere $400 a reaffirmation of your coolness. Because dude, you are totally cool.
And your baby is adorable. Truly adorable. He actually makes my husband and myself coo at the computer screen. Well, maybe not my husband, but I totally coo for both of us.
Sadly, I've messed up both cameras and phones with water. Here's a trick I was told... Preheat your oven to 250. When it reaches that temperature, turn off the oven. Put your phone in the oven on a cookie sheet and leave it there. (Remember the oven is now off!) Don't open the oven for 24 hours (great excuse to go out to dinner!) It should help dry it out. you might want to put a note on the oven to remind yourself not to turn it on.
Yeah, go for the publicity stunt and get them to buy you a new phone.
I love that photo. It to me says, "The Age of Blogging is Here. Fuck All Ya'll."
Maybe the bottom half will work if you lie the phone down FLAT in a bed of rice...? It's possible all the pee, ahem, "water," went to the bottom half...
If it makes you feel any better they're now $200 cheaper. I doubt that will help, but I try.
Ohhhhhhhhh Amy. I'd have shit myself! That said, this is why I have phone insurance.
Someone told me recently that she put her phone in her food dehydrator after it got wet and it dried it out after a few days and worked just fine. Might be worth a try.
I do product reliability testing for a living (aka, I get to break shit). We've done a lot of testing on diabetes meters... when they get too saturated with whatever we're trying to kill them with, we put them in our aging ovens (55°C) and they usually dry out enough to the point of working again. I'm not recommending a microwave or oven, but perhaps a car that's been in the sun a while?
Good thing they just slashed the price of the iPhone to $399!
:)
I dropped my phone in the toilet when I was a freshman in college, and I told them that I dropped in into a puddle and they sent me a replacement.
Maybe you can try that?
You are effing hilarious. Sorry about the phone. I own a $70 piece of crap, so I can only imagine having to grieve a phone. But I'm imagining hard for you, and I'm so, so sorry.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/ptech/09/06/apple.price.cut.ap/index.html
CNN story on price of iPhone dropping - it's true!
Sell your pink Prada sandals on eBay and you're halfway there!
Not only did the price on the 8gb iphones drop by $200 yesterday, but you can buy a 4gb one in the Clearance section of the Apple website for $299.
Get one of those if it stays broken!
Oh no, I'm sorry about your phone!
I know you're feeling horrible and stuff, but that was the funniest post you have ever written (ok, with the exception of the IKEA ones which made my sides hurt from laughing). Oh, how I laughed. I say hit the Genius Bar and lie through your teeth, and make a rule from now on: NO IPHONE'S IN THE BATHROOM!
Classic, perfect photograph for oh so many occasions.
This is so wonderfully funny I nearly dropped my own phone (not an iPhone unfortunately).
rice? am I missig something with the rice? is there a special phone-drying out technique that I do not know about, but everyone else int he world does? do you every get the feeling you are mentally handicapped and no one is telling you?